summary: Shinji and the eva cast run a mob squad and work to take over the yakuza, triads and just about everyone else.
AN: Oh, if your looking for a plot, stop now. I got nothing for you. What happens, happens. What goes down, goes down, and what goes up... yeah, yeah whatever. The plot is in the moment, it's within the second. Basically it's in the time it takes me to think up something when I'm shoveling Yebisu Dry down my throat. Now for the story. /AN
AN: All, that was a lie so pay no attention to the rambling. Anno and Gainax owns EVA, not me. /AN
/Boss Ikari/
- lawless priest -
01 - the story of a devil
My name is Ikari, Shinji Ikari, the son of the famed Yakuza boss Gendo Ikari, aka 'That bastard', you know the one. Anyway, every since my 21st birthday, my father forced me to take the reins of the family business, things around here have become... extremely weird. But whatever, I take it as just another day in this whacked out city called Tokyo - 3.
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It was another eternally sunny day in the third city of Tokyo and life was carrying on normally for all. For me this meant waking up to the screams, yells, and threats of bodily harm to my person by one perpetually pissed of half German bomb shell, known as Asuka Langely Sohryu. I took it in stride as I always do, making it down to the main floor of my bar, Casual Chaos, without venting my anger and killing everyone in site.
Sometimes I wonder if father didn't assign Asuka to my clan just for the sole purpose of annoying the hell out of me as payback for all those years of being a weak, spineless punk. I wouldn't put it passed him. He really was demented. Ever since mom died he just went off the deep end and raised the bastard meter up ten fold, and with no one to piss off, his schemes always ended up on me.
But whatever, no more day dreaming. I had work to do. Most of the Clan was already there, so I headed to the bar and ordered a drink. Maybe 7:25 was too early for you to drink, but if you grew up with the people I did, you wouldn't be saying that. So after I let out my morning battle cry and proclaimed to the world that, indeed, I, Shinji Ikari was alive and awake, I turned to my companions to discuss the days business.
"Morning Boss."
"Sup, Boss."
"Good morning Boss Ikari, sir."
"Good morning Ikari-kun."
"Bout time, Ikari!"
Ah, yes, the morning greetings. Another routine formality that strives to bring some sense of normality back into my life. "Good morning. Anything interesting on the days agenda?"
"No, sir." Hikari Horaki, one of my Lieutenants and probably the only reason things even worked around here, answered.
"Well then, I'm going back to sleep, until something blows up don't call me." I really needed more sleep, especially after that thing Toji and Ken had tried last night, but I'm not going to get into that. I'd need some Asprins and some Scotch to nurse it down before I start on that, but anyway, sleep, yes sleep. It was the most important thing on my agenda.
"So what are we supposed to do until then?" the German red head screamed.
I was too irritated to think straight so I said the first thing that came to mind. "Whatever the hell you want."
Kensuke and Toji just gave each other looks then nodded. Asuka smiled, or smirked evilly, call it what you will. Rei did nothing and Hikari gave me a "Hai, understood, sir."
Now looking back on it all. That was one of the dumbest moves of my life. Seriously, if I had known what foolishness those idiots could get into in only a few hours, I swear I would have just shot them all where they stood and been done with it.
'Sigh...'
But I didn't know, because I wasn't thinking.
/BI/
A soft monotone woke me. "Ikari-kun."
"Rei? What time is it?"
"9:45."
"I thought I told you not to wake up until something blew up?"
"Correct, several things have blown up, so therefore I have not broken your orders."
It took a few seconds for my brain to actually process what my ears had reported, but when it did.
"What! Where the hell is Asuka, Toji and Kensuke?"
"Sohryu is at one of the hangouts of the Kodama Clan attempting to raze it and its occupants and Misters Suzuhara and Aida were last seen stealing top secret military equipment from the facilities that our intelligence agents reported on a few days ago."
"And what about Hikari?"
"She went to act as damage control for Sohryu, but I doubt that she will get far."
"Damnit, damnit! Alright, I want Section - 2 on those stooges ASAP. I mean, who the hell do they think they are anyway? Don't they know that that stuff can be traced back to the clan. If the military starts getting on my case my father's going to kick my ass. Aghhh!"
"And what about Sohryu and Ms. Horaki?"
I paused then gave the evil smirk that I learned courtesy of my father. "Send Agent Kaji."
Rei only raised an eyebrow. "Of course sir, but wouldn't it be more appropriate to send Ms. Katsuragi instead?"
"No, but you did just give me an idea. Ken and Toji will probably dodge the Section 2 agents, so send Misato after them instead. Those drooling idiots won't be able to get past her."
As Rei went about her business, I racked my brain trying to find someway to fix the mess that my people had just created.
/BI/
People say that God's wrath is a force to be reckoned with, and I say no shit. Some also say that hell have no fury like a women scorned, but every male from 5 to 72 knows that. The ones higher don't care anymore. All of these sayings were fundamentally true, but there's one, one saying that effects me far more than any by poets of days long past. One very simple, very effective and extremely vital to my person than all others. And it goes...
don't piss off Asuka.
"SHINJI NO BAKA!"
'Sigh'
I said it was simple, simple to understand, but very hard to accomplish.
"Asuka, I'm sorry, but you can't just go shooting off the balls of the Son's of Yakuza bosses just because they were eying you up. It's not good policy for the clan."
We were standing in front of the place that Asuka had tried to bring down, some of the occupants were outside watching us. You could tell they were mad... and afraid. Asuka had a serious reputation.
"Oh, and letting hentai punks like those weak boys over there undressing me with their eyes is!" Her eye's glowed with a supernatural light that I shied away from instantly. Experience does that to you.
"She has a point, sir." Hikari said from the side, looking both ashamed and proud of her friend. I don't know how that worked out and I didn't care. These two were going to get me killed.
"You damn right, I have a point! Now then Ikari, what are you going to do about it?"
'Sigh'
Welcome to the start of another day of in the life of one Shinji Ikari, son and heir to the Ikari Clan crime family, known to the denizens of the Underworld as the Third Child, even if none of them know what the hell that meant, but the oddness of the name and the fear that the Ikari name brought with it, instilled terror in the hearts of those who spoke it, but mainly because the name Sohryu always seemed to follow it.
"How do I get myself in these situations." I asked myself. "Oh, yes! How could I forget." It had been three years ago, well more like seven, when my father had assigned Ryouji Kaji, who had been a legend in the crime world for years because of his assassin and spying skills, to be my personal trainer. Before it had just been my father's Section 2 Agents, those shadowy figures that followed me around like night to the moon, but in truth they had nothing on Kaji.
It was back in those days that my father had been a real bastard. He hadn't changed much over the years, but his respect for me had grown since then, or maybe it was his tolerance. Non-the-less, he had always been on my case about how weak I was and how unfit I was to lead the clan. Now I admit, back then, I was one spineless kid. I was afraid of nearly everything, especially father, but I wanted out, I wanted to be more, to be better and with Kaji's help, I did.
For four years we trained, weight lifting, weapons training, martial arts and strategy with the help of Misato Katsuragi. I knew she was hot, but for some reason I just didn't see her the way every other male in the Clan did, particularly Kaji. It was probably because I'd know her for so long and how nice she had always been to me when I was young. But when I went with Kaji to train with her, I found out just how much of a bitch she could really be, but it was cool.
Those years with Kaji and Misato had been the best years of my life since before mother was assassinated. With their help I was fast on my way to becoming a man in my own right, rather than being just another dumb rich son to some crime lord. I was going to be a crime boss and would finally show father just how much I was worth.
Now it was on my eighteenth birthday that my life started its path towards destruction. I look back on it now and wonder how it could have been going so well only to fall apart the way it had.
My father, that bastard probably set it up, had decided to help with my ambitions, even though the word 'help' never came out of his mouth, I knew the man well enough to know what he was doing.
My present came by the name of Rei Ayanami, an assassin trained by my father for years, apparently for the soul purpose to one day become my personal guard and soldier. I would go into detail about how shocked I was to have this beautiful blue haired death goddess be appointed to my service, but that would take more time than I have. The longer I take to day dream about the past the more wrath I'm going to ensue in Asuka.
So, anyway, a gorgeous, quiet, extremely talented ass kicking bass player joins my band and I do a few solos for the bathroom crowd for the low, low price of $free.99.
Back to the point. Now with Rei in the squad I went in search of more luckless bastards to add to my team, Which I happened to find in one Toji Suzahara and another Kensuke Aida, two up and coming Section 2 agents that Kaji had told me about. We hit it off pretty well and for the moment my personal mob squad was complete and ready to cause some havoc.
Now, on a personal note, I am not a violent person. I don't take pleasure in the pain of others and I don't like to revel in someone else's down fall, but damnit, to prove to my father that I was not a spineless, useless child, I was prepared to take on Godzilla, preferably with the help of the Japanese military and a few N2 mines. No use using nukes. I wasn't in the business of making the fool creature stronger.
For awhile, things were good. My squad was coming up. A few jobs here, a few bank robberies there and with the 'investments' that I had set up things were looking good for the EVA squad. Yep the EVA squad. That's the nick name I gave my group. If you have a problem with it you can take it up with Rei and end up like the rest of those punks who thought they could rag on my individuality. Dr Akaji's always looking for test dummies and guinea pigs for her 'experiments'. I'd be happy to introduce you punks to her, What was that? '...' Thought so.
Again, anyway, where was I? Oh, yeah. So, it was good for awhile, but somewhere along the way my father said something to me one day at dinner that seemed innocent and truthful, that I should take heed of. I don't know how I forgot that nothing my father says is innocent and truthful or how I should pay heed enough to keep the hell away from it.
There he was at the table, hands steepled before him, blocking most of his face except for those damn shades. I want shades like that man. 'Sigh'
"Your little clan is incomplete, You have no one capable enough to take on more aggressive operations. Eventfully this will be your end." He said all of this in that dead tone he always uses as if he was Shinigamihimself.
I told Kaji this one day and he said that "I think I know just the person. It's been a while since I've seen her, but on the job she's a force to be reckoned with." He should have said that off the job she still a force to be reckoned with, but no, he failed to impart that tidbit of info.
A few weeks later Asuka Langely Sohryu, the Red Devil and another Section 2 agent Hikari Horaki joined the Clan. You'd think with a name like Red Devil I would have been weary of her, but I'm a little ashamed to say that... I really wasn't paying attention to any of that. Now, there are only so many words in dictionary and so many ways to describe Asuka. The words crazy, and bitch tend to jump out at you first, 'sigh' but the words gorgeous, beautiful, goddess and will you marry me, soon follow. When we met, the latter were going through my mind at the time.
I pay for my mistake every single morning, as a reminder that 1.) I should never listen to my father, 2.) pay more attention to people rather than getting lost in their eyes. and 3.) sleep with ear muffs.
"IKARI!"
'Ok, focus. Asuka's not going to be satisfied until she sees blood and those Kodama guys are looking pretty pissed. I still have to deal with Ken and Toji. Wait a minute?'
"Kaji?"
"Hai?" The unshaven man answered as I walked up to him.
"How many agents do you have hiding around this place? "
"About twenty five, why?"
"How many guys do you think are in that Kodama place?" I was still thinking, hoping things would work out the way I wanted them to.
"About fifteen, maybe more. You want to rush them?" he asked.
I nodded. "This place, it has strategic value and this block could be useful too." I gave a few quick glances at the place surveying it.
"I'd have to make some calls afterward to deal with the rest of the block. This still is Kodama territory, you know. They would want to start something."
"Doesn't matter. Their clan isn't that big, we could deal with them, maybe even take them over and bring them in. I just need to know if it's feasible?"
"Probably, the hard part would be dealing with them after we've got them in our clan, but yeah, we could do it."
"Then do it."
"Sure." he grinned and went off to get his people.
"Asuka." I called walking back towards the two girls.
"What, Ikari?"
"You'll get what you want. Hikari, were taking out this place and then we'll hold up here for awhile until Kaji can get some reinforcements. The Kodama clan is going down."
"Um, ok, sir." She looked a little surprised.
"Ah, Shinji-kun, you do care." Asuka smiled a genuine smile and her eyes had took on this dreamy look. It was beginning to become hard not to get lost in them. 'Focus, man! Focus!'
"Um, yeah... of course I do Asuka." I said sheepishly. 'gotta change the subject.'
"Um... Sir..."
'Thank you, Hikari.'
"... don't you think we 'll need more people than just the three of us. " It was easy to tell she was skeptical.
"Don't worry about it. We have all we need."
"Yeah, we can do it. No punk Kodama is going to stop us. Come on, it's time to get these bastards." She had that evil smirk back, walking defiantly up to the enemy.
They say wars are started for two reasons... money and women. It seems I was going for both. Ah, but whatever, just another day in Tokyo - 3.