Poison.
It was hard to keep going. Too hard. Which is why he had fallen. Not everybody knew it yet; but he did and she did and that was all that mattered. It had been hard and he had given in. Selfishness and greed had made him succumb to this. They both knew it - she had no misconceptions of the relationship. It didn't mean much to him other than the temporary comfort he found in her. It was much more to her, but he would never really understand her true intentions. What could she possible gain from this, he had often wondered? Everything, he later realised. But like all lessons in life it was learnt too late.
They were together, but they weren't one. They were strictly separate beings, he wouldn't allow it to delve into anything deeper. She understood, or at least he thought she had. So why had it hurt so much, once it was over, really truly over? Because of the betrayal, he realised, the betrayal of his marriage vows. She knew about this other woman, he told her himself, and claimed not to care. But she did deep down inside. Only she wouldn't admit it. So many secrets, he thought, why was everything always hidden away in riddles?
The truth had appeared but had no use in shaping there future. It was already over, before they were given the chance to begin a second life together. It was going to be alright; the murky waters had been refreshed with a clear kind, the secrets were gone and the truth was all that faced them. Truth and love. But it hadn't been enough to save them. Neither of them. Maybe her poison was still coursing through his veins from the 'stint' they had shared. Maybe she had tainted him. Maybe none of this would have happened if he hadn't been so weak to begin with.
He was supposed to be selfless and strong, a man of pride and honour. But he was none of those things. He had given in when things had been hard, he had turned his back on her, and it had cost her, cost both of them but she hadn't deserved to suffer. She had paid for his sins, and it wasn't fair. And like all cowards he couldn't deal with the truth, the pain of knowing he had caused this. It was all down to her, and his inability to cope. Now he was back in the place he started at, when all of this began in the first place… when his life started to slowly crumble into nothingness.
He has nobody, nothing… except for her. She's still here with him now. He realises that she never left, not really. When it was over she haunted him in guilt, now she hovers around him like a cloud of dust reminding him of his mistakes, his failures. She never leaves him now, and he doesn't want her to. She is the only just punishment his tainted mind can conjure up. He is broken now and his soul belongs to her; he knows he deserves nothing more.
END
Please review, this was wrote on a whim, inspired by a Fightstar song. If you check the link in my profile out you will find the version with these lyrics included.