/Boss Ikari/

- lawless priest -

03 - A new day in Tokyo 3

My name is Ikari, Shinji Ikari, the son of the famed Yakuza boss Gendo Ikari, aka 'That bastard', you know the one. Anyway, every since my 21st birthday, my father forced me to take the reins of the family business, things around here have become... extremely weird. But whatever, I take it as just another day in this whacked out city called Tokyo - 3.

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It had been a week or so since the whole Kodama thing and me and Asuka had started to got along pretty good. I don't know if it was something to do with that pot smoking Kodama jerk I shot or just the mood or something. It really didn't matter to me because there I was, neck deep in tan German goodness. The wine and the music helped too, but we really weren't paying much attention to either. You could say our full attention was directed towards each other, or shall I say parts of each other.

It was getting good. Her moans were very encouraging and she had the cutest little look on her face. I smiled at her, basking in her glow. There was something I wanted to say. Something that I had wanted to say a long time ago, but we had never been close enough for the words to really mean anything. But now, now the time was right. Now I had finally gain enough courage to express how I felt to this woman beneath me.

"Asuka, I..."

"BAKA SHINJI! IT'S TIME TO GET UP. YOU DON'T HAVE ALL DAY TO WASTE!"

"It is time to rise Ikari-kun. There are things that must be done and we will be late if this continues."

No! Everything was fading! The red head was floating away, leaving only wisp of fiery red hair in her wake. No! I was so close. So close!

"IKARI! WAKE UP!"

The resounding slap reverberated throughout the room and did a fine job, and I mean a FINE JOB of waking me from my blissful slumber. After my body had ceased its twitching and I had regained full motor control I addressed the two dominate women in my life, both of whom just happed to be in my bed room. What a coincidence.

"Asuka, Rei?" I asked quietly, waiting until I had their full attention. "Why did you slap me Asuka and Rei what have I told you about waking me up this early in the morning?"

"I slapped you so you'd wake up, baka. What did you expect."

"You have repeatedly told me to leave you be sir, but it is very late and there is work to be done."

The two stood there, there reasons stated and somewhat valid. There was nothing I could do. What happens, happens, so with this in mind I proceeded with the only option that I had been given. I rose from my bed and began to dress myself, taking special care to do everything calmly. It helps to be calm when you have two very cute young women eyeing you while you get dressed in front of them.

It didn't cross my mind to ask them to leave. They would have refused anyway, saying that I wasn't capable enough to get dressed alone or that I might need help.

After I put on my shirt, which seemed to distressed them for some reason, I headed over to my night stand. Inside was a simple necklace, with a silver cross given to me by my one time guardian, Misato, as a coming of age present. Once I had that on I loaded and cocked my berretta and offered them my thanks for their generosity.

The two wasted no time getting out of my room as my bullets and my rants for them to 'never wake me up ever again' followed in their wake. They set off at a dead run down the hall, one with her beautiful athletic legs in a perfect sprint and the other as she made a graceful getaway, as I fired, my shots barley missing them as they took a quick corner.

"Why, damnit, why? Is it a crime for a man to finish one, just one wet dream in the morning! Is that so bloody terrible! I mean come on, I swear, man! This is really pissing me off!"

'sigh...'

My anger vented I strode back to my room, locking the door and proceeded to strip. It didn't take long for me to resume my previous endeavor as sleep consumed me.

/BI/

Some time later, I came out, a slightly goofy, yet extremely satisfied Shinji Ikari. I didn't really care. Commenting to himself on the joys of such a wonderful day, I wasn't going to let anything spoil my mood. Not even father could get in my way today.

Downstairs my people gave me their usual greetings. I did notice that Asuka and Rei seemed a little sullen, but they would get over it. It's not the first time I had to shot them out of my room. Sometimes it seems the only thing that can make them listen.

"Hey Boss."

"Sup, Boss."

"Good morning, sir."

"Stupid, Ikari..."

"Good morning... Ikari-kun."

"Good morning. What's on for today?" I asked while the bar tender hooked me up with my morning drink.

"Not much sir," Hikari paused as I gave my ecstatic battle cry and continued. "Ms. Misato called and ask for you to come over."

"Did she say why?"

"No, only that she needed to see you at her place." Horaki reported. She didn't sound all that pleased over the news, but that could be expected.

"Sweet, we get to chill with the glory that is Misato-san!" Toji cried, his face a portrait of bliss.

"Shut up Baka!" Hikari smacked him before he could say anymore, his face now a portrait of pain. That had been expected too.

"Come on, lets do this before Horaki puts Suzuhara in a cast. I don't have time to pay hospital bills." Setting my drink down we headed out to see, as Toji put it, the glory that was Misato-san.

/BI/

Misato's place stood there across the street from us as we got out of our cars. It was a lively restaurant called 'The Major's Kitchen' that served traditional and non-traditional meals depending on which day you came. It was a strange place off the bat, but what was stranger was what went on beneath the place. But that was another story.

I turned to look down the street to check out the surroundings before we crossed over and found a strange overly cute plushy standing there a few feet away, just looking at me.

I turned away, but something made me look back. The plushy was closer now, as if it had moved on its own. That was impossible, it was just a doll. 'Maybe the wind blew it.' Said wind was non-existent and the plushy seemed to be standing on its own.

I turned away again. My minds were just playing tricks on me - and yes, I just said minds but I'm not getting to that. Go ask Dr. Akagi if you want to know, just get off me about that, alright- but I couldn't stop myself from looking again. It was even closer now.

'Nah, that's not possible. It's not really there. It's just the heat and my eyes.'

I stared strait ahead, not even glancing the other way.

'Aggghhh, screw it!'

I looked again. It was closer. I did it again, and again, until it was somehow sitting on my shoulder, right beside my head, looking dead into my eyes.

I couldn't help but cover my face and scream at the top of my lungs "Aghh, plushy attack, plushy attack! Oh, the horror, the horror!"

"Holy, hell, it's a pikachu!" Aida yelled as he chased it off of me.

"Die you oversized mutated rat, rabbit... cat thingy!" Toji punctuated each word with a shot from his pistol.

"Wait, you mean it's not a plushy?" I asked a little surprised. I couldn't help but feel a little sheepish.

"No you moron, It's a bloody pokemon." The red head looked at me like I was some nut in an asylum.

"Oh... Damnit!"

"Aghh, Dummkopf!"

"Whatever. Just kill the thing Suzuhara!" I was relieved to say the least.

"What is that matter Ikari-kun? It is merely a pokemon." Rei asked looking puzzled, yet concerned.

"Nothing, alright. It's just... I had a bad experience with a plushy once, alright. I don't want to talk about it right now."

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Ok, I'm guessing this is the part where we break out into a flashback...........................

Ok... maybe not.

What are you saying, the author's budget was cut again? What do you mean we can't afford a proper flashback? Oh, this is just great.

So what, I'm supposed to just describe the scenes myself. Didn't I just say that I didn't want to talk about it, I mean, that's what the flashback is for.

If you fools think I'm going to go through the stress of drudging that load of crap back up, your wrong.

Oh, so you do, do you? Well screw that! They better pay the man if you want this story to come out better.

Can't even afford a proper flashback, man! You people suck.

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"Anyway... let's just say I don't like plushies, alright and just leave it at that. It's all father's fault anyway." I said, trying to put the whole mess behind me and gain some of my dignity back.

"Sure, Ikari, sure. Weirdo." Asuka muttered under her breath.

"I heard that, Sorhyu."

"Good for you Ikari."

"Stupid, plushies, stupid pokemon."

/BI/

After everyone had calmed down and Toji had quit his whining about how he had lost the 'damn rodent', we all headed to Misato's. It was early, so no one was in except a few cooks and the other help. The cooks said that the purple headed goddess was in her office with two other people and would be out shortly. They asked if we had eaten. We hadn't, so we ended up at a table enjoying ourselves when a shadow fell over us.

Looking up at the disturbance I couldn't help but feel as if something was up. There was something about them, something that seemed familiar.

"Who are you two?" Toji asked the two newcomers with a mouth full of food. They were dressed in our standard uniform, so obviously they were apart of the Clan, probably with Misato's group.

"Ahhh, have you forgotten us already." One of them answered, her full eyes on me. She was of average height with long dark raven hair, tied back in a small blue bow that reached the small of her back. Her eyes, a shade of the deepest violet, that seemed to pierce whatever caught their attention, were a strange match for her teasing lips. This was a woman to be wary of. She had the look of someone who got what she wanted, no matter the price.

"It has only been a week. It seems we didn't make a lasting impression the last time we met." This one was obviously related to the other girl. Their cute noses and the taunting lips were a dead give a way, but this new girl had eyes and hair an auburn brown that rivaled the color of fall leaves. I had to turn away from them before I started talking like a poet, even if it was only in my head.

If it wasn't for their differences in their hair and eye coloring I could have sworn they were twins. They acted as if they knew me, but where had I met them? I couldn't help but feel as if I had met them before, even if they hadn't pointed it out. And sometime last week? What had I been doing last...

"You are the Saito Sisters. The ones I met after we took over the Kodama clan." The pieces finally fell into place, but what were they doing here.

"Well, well, it seems you do remember us, but I must say I was kind of hoping you would be dressed as you were that day."

"Yes, your... 'uniform' was a very attractive attire."

I didn't say anything to that, and worked hard for my blush not to show, considering the only thing I had been wearing then was my plug suit and the stares they had given me then, I really didn't want to think about it.

Rei didn't seem to like the attention the two girls were giving me. I had not seen her frown like that at anybody before. Asuka, well, lets just say she wasn't pleased either, although I'm pretty sure the death glare she was giving the sisters was patented by my father and would be expecting a check in the mail sometime this week.

"I'm glad you're all getting along, that'll makes things a lot easier."

I turned towards the new speaker, but I already knew who it was. The two drooling stooges were a dead give away. "Hello Misato, you had your morning beer already?"

"No, I figured I'd have it when you guys got here."

"What is this alcoholics anonymous?" Kensuke called out.

"No because all of you punks know each other." Asuka answered.

While the 'major' and I went about the business of getting wasted while the rest of the group got better acquainted with each other.

Asuka jumped in, cutting strait to the point. "So, what are you two doing here? You joining Misato's operation, or something?

"Or, something," They answered.

"Excuse me, I'm afraid I don't know your names." Hikari asked trying to be more polite than her friend.

"Oh yes, you're right, we haven't been introduced. I'm Megumi Saito, and this is my sister Sunja." The brown haired girl replied, giving me a warn smile that seemed to have some hidden meaning.

"We're here because of the deal that Boss Ikari made with our mother. We are to join one of your teams and add our skills to your strengths." the dark haired Sunja answered.

"I see, and have you decided a team yet?"

The sister gave each other a look, and a small smile. "Yes," they said. "we have."

"So, which one, already? What's with the suspense man."

"Shut up Suzuhara."

"It's alright, we've decided to join yours."

There was silence for a full minute, then two and almost three before the screaming started.

"What the hell do you mean you're joining ours!"

"Yeah, you just can't come in here and sign up. This isn't the freakin army!"

"Calm down Asuka it can't be that bad."

"Yeah, I mean, hell they're totally babes too."

"Damnit Baka, didn't I just tell you to shut up!"

"Hey!"

"DON'T HEY ME DAMNIT! I HEY YOU!"

"Ah... ok."

"Yeah, you hentai, just stuff your face and keep quiet while the grown ups talk. "

"So why are you still talking Devil."

"Watch your mouth Aida!"

Rei was her usual quiet self, so of course said nothing and I sat there watching them and the Saito sisters. It was easy to tell what they were thinking, almost as if they had spoken out load. 'These are the best of the Ikari Clan? How the hell did we lose to these idiots.' I couldn't help but laugh at the expressions on their faces.

Misato broke up the mess before things got serious. "What's with you guys. These are two highly trained and highly skilled operatives who could bring a lot to your team, so what are you freaking out about?"

"I'm sure they are skilled Ms. Misato, but it's just that this is a little sudden." Hikari tried to explain on our behalf.

"This is father's doing?" It wasn't really a question. The sisters had confirmed it earlier.

"Yes, it is."

"He would do something like this to me without consulting me, wouldn't he."

"It's alright Shinji, your father's not that bad. Just don't let that whole 'I could give three smurfs and a care bear about you and how you feel' attitude get to you because deep, deep, deep down inside, he's a real kind and caring person." there was a long pause. "Deep, deep down, I swear."

"Sure, Misato, sure."

"Anyway, so I guess we never had a choice about these two." Asuka replied, pointing to the Saito girls.

"No, I'm sorry, but that's the way it is. Let's all just sit back, calm down and have a nice meal. I mean, I went to all the trouble to cook this for you guys and you just..."

"Wait? You mean you cooked the food?" I interrupted. Everyone at the table had froze at her words.

"Yes I did." Misato said with a proud smile.

I immediately checked myself, patting my stomach and examining the food. "I'm not dying, my stomach doesn't hurt, and the food actually tasted good, wow."

"What are you trying to say Shinji, that I can't cook?" The purple haired women cocked an eye brow and stared menacingly at me, daring me to say so.

"Yes!" said every other person present in unison as they looked up from their plates, minus the two former Kodama girls who stood there looking confused.

I was already on my way out the door.

"Hey Ikari where you going?" Toji asked.

I ignored him as I shut the door to 'The Major's Kitchen.' and tried to block out the sound of people get their butts kicked by an angry purpled haired women and said woman's screams of "I can cook you jerks!"

'Sure you can Misato.' I though to myself. 'But that doesn't mean you can cook well.'

I would say something here about how whacked out Tokyo 3 is, but I'm really not in the mood, so screw it. You know it, I know it, so... whatever.

"Stupid plushies."

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AN: I've had this question on my mind for a while and I just wanted to know if I was wrong or right. So, I 'll just ask you cats and get it over with. I wrote this scene in the first chapter, but I'm not sure if anyone got it. It would be a waste to write more like it and people not understand to point.

enter scene / So, anyway, a gorgeous, quiet, extremely talented ass kicking bass player joins my band and I do a few solos for the bathroom crowd for the low, low price of $free.99. / exit scene

did you get that ... anybody, or was it just a weird piece of foolishness to most of you?

Oh and apparently I spelled Squirtle wrong last time. I don't watch pokemon, so whatever. Not like it matters. You got the point right?

I know people are wondering about the whole smurf foolishness. Believe me even I thought them as little crazy when I wrote it. Just... think of them as little oddities like... leprechauns and things like that, except they aren't out to kill you. They're hard to find and thus valuable. I'll get into the truth about smurfs in later chapters. Just deal with it for now.

Oh and I'll try to keep the threats to the readers to a minimum. Alright? Alright. /An