Joss finished telling her account and leant back silently against the headboard of her bed, watching Logan. He hadn't said a word for the whole time she'd been talking and now he sat quietly staring, shocked into the middle distance.
Joss, to her surprise, found that she felt rather light-hearted, to use a cliché, as if a great weight had been lifted. She had spent almost every night of her life since that fatal evening reliving what had happened but had never once brought her self to tell it to any of the few people who had asked. She glanced up at Logan who blinked, coming out of his reverie and stared down at her compassionately; she stared back feeling quite cheerful now she had finally shared her biggest worry with someone.
"I had no idea." he stammered "My God, Joss…it's…it's so…" as she had been talking Joss had slipped back into the thick Irish accent she had been concealing for the last ten years but now she spoke easily with it, enjoying the way it rolled naturally from her tongue and promised herself that she would conceal it no longer.
"Told you it's not exactly light conversation, but you know I think Hank was right. I really feel much better for telling you." He was still staring at her, his dark eyes wide with surprise and compassion.
She smiled positively at him and was surprised when he suddenly reached out and wrapped his strong arms around her and held her to him tightly.
Never one to pass up a hug from Logan she leant into it and allowed him to get the emotion out of his system. Logon didn't know what he could possibly say to get across the way he felt but, knowing she felt safe in his arms, tried to make her understand. She did, no where felt as safe for Joss as in Logan's company and she lay her head on his chest closing her eyes. It was almost five minutes before he pulled her back and looked deep into her eyes.
"I promise you that I will never let anything like that happen to you ever again." He said it so vehemently that she found it hard not to smile.
"I don't think that's awfully likely; only got one set of parents."
"You've got me now." She beamed and punched him playfully, embarrassed.
"I don't think there's much chance of you dying before I do. Anyhoo," she stood up and dragged at his arm. "Come on, the Professor is going to want to make Hank give me more sweets…I mean counselling!" he laughed, glad that she had perked up so much and followed her downstairs teasing her about her accent.
The others were just as surprised by her seemingly new accent as Logan but didn't say anything. Joss was embarrassed that they had seen her in the condition she had been in the night before and remained quiet as the Professor spoke to her, well aware that if it had been anyone but Logan to approach her, they would probably have been killed.
She had thought that the Professor would be angry with her for attacking another of his X-Men but he was all kindness and compassion. He had asked that he and Hank be left alone with her but she shot Logan a pleading glance and, with an approving nod from Professor Xavier, he planted himself in the red sofa in the corner behind her.
Joss had agreed to let the Professor read her mind so that he could see what she had told Logan, he would also be projecting it into Hanks mind, so that he had a good idea of what exactly he was working against in their sessions.
Professor Xavier wheeled over to her and, holding his hands on either side of her head he, searched inside her mind for the night eleven years ago that had scarred her so badly, deliberately bypassing the most recent decade as promised. Joss wasn't sure she wanted the Professor or Hank to know about many of her friends or exploits since she had arrived in America.
The images bombarded her vision as she saw what the Professor and Hank saw, everything she had told Logan, all over again for the ten thousandth time.
When they had seen everything Charles pulled away shocked and looked at Hank who was staring at Joss with the same expression on his face as had been on Logan's. She squirmed and scuffed her feet on the floor uncomfortably.
"Hey." Logan called quietly; Joss turned around "You okay?" he asked, she nodded and got up to sit next to him, the other two in the room still trying to sort through the assortment of new images in their heads, oblivious. He put an arm round her and she rested her head on his shoulder, waiting.
After a few minutes Charles and Hank came round from their meditations and had a brief telepathic conversation
Did you have any idea, Hank? Charles asked. His brow furrowed in concern.
No Sir. Hank replied, in his head I knew that they were killed but I assumed there had been some terrible accident or something, nothing like that. Little wonder she's like…
Like she is?
Exactly. Professor Xavier turned and addressed Joss. She stirred a little and nuzzled her head in Logan's shoulder, fast asleep; the sedatives from Jean and her exhaustion from the previous night kicking in again.
Logan prodded her and she grunted but stayed out. "She's gone." He told the Professor. "Jean did give her enough to knock her out for twice what she lasted, guess the rest just kicked in. Can I leave her here?" the Professor nodded and Logan lay her down on the red leather sofa, his jacket around her shoulders, she murmured something unintelligible and pulled it round her, his familiar smell soothing her sleeping mind.
The three men crept out and proceeded to Hanks study to continue their conversation.
They decided that the sessions with Hank would continue and that if she consented, Logan was to sleep in her room, on the floor of course, to hopefully calm her from her nightmares without waking her so no one would get hurt.
Logan chose not to ask what would happen if he were to have a nightmare himself.
Joss woke up and, rolling over, fell off the sofa, not landing on her feet. Cursing, she scrambled to her feet and changed into a small Lynx, her favourite form and the best for moving around the mansion; big enough to stop the smaller kids picking her up but small enough to avoid scaring them.
She snuck out of the study and padded off towards the kitchen listening out for anyone else in the general vicinity. She heard Bobby begging Kitty and Jubilee for mercy in the recreation room, John giggling round the corner and Logan talking to Professor and Hank down the hall.
Coming up on the kitchen she paused, Storm was in there chatting to Jean about Hanks biceps, Joss wasn't sure she wanted to hear that but she hadn't eaten since her pancakes that morning and, glancing at the clock in the hall saw that she must have been asleep in the Professors study for about five hours, she was very hungry.
Entering the kitchen still in lynx form she moved behind the breakfast bar unnoticed and tried to open the fridge with a grey, clawed paw. No luck. She tried her jaws and, successfully opening the door, let out a surprised snarl as she was hit by a falling bowl of still liquid jelly.
Storm rounded the bar and burst out laughing, Joss shook vigorously, her fur sticking in all directions and growled a little before changing back.
"Yeah, real funny." she scowled good naturedly, "I'll just go shower, again." She turned and, grabbing an apple from the side on her way out, went back up stairs to wash the jelly out of her hair.