Gripping the handlebars of Fenrir, his motorcycle, tightly, Cloud manuvered through the late evening crowd of Midgar citizens returning home. The city of Midgar was reconstructed quickly after the meteor crisis; they had to build a place for the trampled on, eternally wounded people of the planet to live in. But there was no plate above their heads. In the new, post-Shinra version of Midgar, the sun shone brightly on it's suffering citizens. The slums were not as polluted, not as poor, but the citizens of Midgar still suffered.

But it was home. Midgar was home to those most hurt by their fates. It was only fitting that Cloud, too, called Midgar home. But Midgar itself wasn't the reason he returned time after time. Something else always drew him back, no matter how many times he told himself that this time would be the last. Cloud sighed as he turned a corner in Sector Four. He was almost there. Almost home. Just this one last time... he told himself.

He passed a narrow alleyway. He tried not to focus on the small, hopeless faces that followed him as he drove by. Conditions had worsened in the two weeks he had been away. Midgar's orphan population was always increasing. And this disease...it didn't appear to be contagious. But it had no cure. Everyone who had it ended up dead, some time or another. You could be in contact with someone infected and not fall ill...but more and more were getting it. They called it Geostigma. No one could tell you exactly what it was, but it was surrounding them, stealing away any chances of hope. The disease seemed to favor children; they were the group most affected. But there were other cases of Geostigma. Cloud gripped his left arm and grimaced.

Some of the more kind-hearted in Midgar took it upon themselves to take care of sick orphans. His home was often a refuge for them. None of them ever stayed, but they flocked there for a hot meal, a kind word, a gentle touch. Cloud smiled ironically. He was a lot like those orphans. Always hungering for that sweet smile. Always taking, taking, never able to give back anything but pain. His smile faded. Not anymore...he thought painfully. I won't hurt them anymore. I won't hurt her anymore...

He pulled out of Sector Four just as the sun was sinking below the horizon. By the time Fenrir sputtered to a stop in front of the Seventh Heaven, it was past nine. It was a Sunday, the bar was closed. Slowly he parked the motorcycle, taking great care to make sure it was safe from being stolen. He hesitated in front of the door for a moment. This was the last time he'd ever enter. Cloud gave himself a mental shove. This time he would do it. This time he'd be strong enough to let go of everything he loved.

Cloud stuck his key in the door and pushed it open. The bar was empty. Every chair was put up in its proper place, every glass sparkling clean. He smiled. She would never be accused of being a slob. He strided past the tables, past the barstools, and opened the door that led to the backrooms and the living quarters.

He was greeted with two guilty shrieks. Cloud couldn't help but smile as he took in the scene before him. Two little faces looked up, one belonging to Marlene the other to her friend Denzel. Both of them were in pajamas and had one hand inserted in the cookie jar, one hand holding a half eaten cookie. Their faces rapidly changed from fear, to guilt, to absolute ecstacy. Dropping the cookies, they pounced.

"Cloud! Cloud!" they shouted. "You're back! I'm so glad!"

He laughed gently and pried them off. They smiled up adoringly. Cloud was glad they were here to keep Tifa company. They were a handful sometimes but they sure could brighten up anyone's day. Marlene had warmed to Cloud immediately after she started living with them. Barret was away in Corel looking for energy sources, and so little Marlene went to the only home she had ever known- the Seventh Heaven. Denzel on the other hand...Cloud had found Denzel. He was seven years old- one year older than Marlene, and sick from Geostigma. Cloud brought him to Tifa when he found Denzel lying in a gutter, unconscious and in obvious pain. The orphan forged a friendship with Marlene, a hero-worship for Cloud, and of course, he loved Tifa. And so he stayed.

Denzel tugged at Cloud's sleeve. "You're not gunna tell Tifa are you?" he asked, wiping cookie crumbs from his face.

He fixed Cloud with his best innocent look. Marlene immediately got in on the game and wrapped her sticky, chocolate covered hands around Cloud's waist.

"Please don't tell Tifa we ate the cookies!" she begged.

Cloud laughed, swooped Marlene up and ruffled Denzels hair. They gave each other knowing smiles.

"You know the deal." Cloud told them.

He dropped Marlene down. Solemnly, she handed Cloud a big, chocolate chip cookie. Denzel did the same.

"Here Cloud." Denzel said. "We saved the biggest ones for you, just like you told us to."

Giving them conspirational winks, Cloud took the cookies and ate them. Marlene and Denzel giggled and went about putting the cookie jar back in its proper place and hiding all other evidence. Once they were done, they flocked back around Cloud bombarding him with questions.

"Will you be back for long?" Marlene asked, grabbing onto him like a leech.

Denzel tugged at Cloud's shirt. "Are you going to take me on a ride? Just like you promised? Please? Please?"

"I don't know how long I'll be back..." Cloud answered Marlene with a forced smile. "And I don't know if Tifa wants you riding the motorcycle with me."

The kids gave Cloud exaggerated pouts.

"By the way...where is Tifa?" Cloud asked, trying to ignore their sulking.

Marlene was already stationed on the floor, intently working on a crayon drawing. Denzel aimlessly kicked a few crayons before plopping down next to her.

"She was taking a shower." Marlene said from overtop her picture. "I think she's been out for awhile."

Cloud started heading upstairs but turned back to give the kids one last look.

"Don't get into any more trouble!" he warned them with a half-stern, half-lighthearted tone.

"We won't!" they chanted back.

Cloud sighed and continued up the staircase. It had been two weeks since he'd last been home. What a luxury to have a place to call home...Cloud had a small business now. Strife Delivery Service. It wasn't much of a job, but it brought in money. And even though he was on the road most of the time, Tifa wanted him to have a place to come home to. And so, when he wasn't out working, he stayed with them. He had his own room that served as a bedroom and an office. And he had Tifa. But not for much longer. he told himself, gripping his left arm as a sudden pain shot through it. Home is not a luxury I can have...not if it means more pain for her.

He was pulled from his thoughts as a door swung open. Tifa stood at the end of the hall, staring, not quite absorbing what was standing in front of her yet. Her face was lovely as ever, her chocolate eyes were wide open and startled. Cloud smiled as she stood like a deer caught in the headlights. She had kept her dark hair waistlength ever since the end of their final fight. A strand of it fell across her face.

"Hello Tifa." he said softly.

His greeting shook her out of her stupor, and she rushed forward, flinging her arms around his neck. Cloud stumbled back for a second, but then slowly wrapped his arms around her back. He closed his eyes and drank it all in for a moment: the feeling of her warm body up against his, the scent of her just-washed hair, her arms wrapped tightly around his neck, her head pressed firmly against his chest. Slowly, reluctantly, Tifa slid her arms down and took a small step back. She smiled at him, and he smiled back.

"You're back." she said happily, softly.

"I'm back." he echoed.

Tifa face became concerned. "How was the job? Did everything go smoothly? Are you okay? You were gone so long! I was so worried!"

Cloud laughed quietly and tucked the rebellious strand of raven hair behind her ear.

"I'm fine Tifa. Everything's fine. I just got loaded down with a few other jobs while I was out. I'm sorry for making you worry."

Tifa smiled, and it almost made the lie worth it.

"Go get cleaned up!" she urged him. "You must be hungry, I'll go make something for you."

She descended the stairs, and Cloud watched her until she turned the corner. Just this last time...he told himself again. This is the last time...I'm leaving after tonight. I am. But everytime he came back, it got harder and harder to leave.

Cloud sighed and opened the door into his room/office. Everything was exactly like it was before he left. Except for the bed which was made up neatly with clean covers. Tifa...he thought achingly. He dumped his bag on the floor and slumped into the chair by his desk, covering his face with his hands. Sighing he looked up and immediately his gaze closed in on a framed photograph sitting next to his phone. He picked it up and smiled fondly. In the photograph, Tifa bent over the two smiling faces of Marlene and Denzel while he stood behind them all, smiling sheepishly.

But a sharp, breath-taking pain in his arm stole his attention away from the happy photograph. Gritting his teeth, Cloud applied pressure to the ache, willing it to go away.

"Just a little longer." he hissed through his teeth. "Then you can kill me. Just give me this last time."

Slowly the pain faded and he stood up panting. He changed out of his traveling clothes and put on something comfortable and clean. He left the room and went back downstairs, following the scent of something delicious cooking in the kitchen. He stood outside the kitchen doorway observing the happy scene inside. Tifa was chopping something and placing it on a sandwich as the two kids simultaniously tried to explain what was occuring in the pictures they were drawing. Cloud's muffled laugh gave him away. All three of them turned towards the doorway, grins alight on their faces.

"Cloud!" Marlene and Denzel shouted and rushed forward.

"Look Cloud!" Marlene said, barely containing her excitement. "That's a flower and thats me! Watering the flower!"

Denzel squeezed past Marlene. "See Cloud? That's you on your motorcycle. And that's me on the back! Pretty cool huh?"

Tifa laughed as he was bombarded. "Give him some room to breath you two! Come sit down."

Denzel sat down at the table and Marlene led Cloud over by the hand. Tifa gave Cloud his warm meal, which he looked at longingly before digging in. They all sat at the table in silence for minute until Marlene and Denzel piped up again.

"When are you gunna tell us about where you went?" Marlene asked eagerly.

Denzel leaned forward. "Didja see any monsters?"

"Did you see any of our friends?" Tifa asked, her eyes twinkling.

And so they sat and listened to Cloud's retelling of the past two weeks. It was their tradition to do so whenever Cloud returned from a job. Denzel's eyes widened appreciatively as Cloud told of a narrow escape from the Midgar serpent. Marlene leaned in eagerly as Cloud handed her a perfect seashell from the coast. And Tifa laughed outloud when he told her that someone had recognized him from the Wall Market.

"What's so funny?" Marlene asked curiously.

Denzel looked back and forth from Tifa to Cloud with a half-smile on his face, wanting in on the joke.

"Nothing!" Cloud said quickly.

Tifa quickly smothered her laughter, but shot Cloud a bemused smile when the kids weren't looking.

"It's getting late..." Tifa said, looking at the clock and covering up a yawn.

The pleadings started up immediately.

"No Tifa no!" Marlene begged. "Not yet!"

Denzel tugged at her hand. "We're not even tired!"

Tifa gave an exasperated sigh. "Okay, okay! I guess we can have dessert before we go up for bed. Now where's that cookie jar?"

Cloud exchanged a slightly panicked, secret look with Denzel and Marlene.

"Actually..." Denzel said backing towards the stairs.

"We're pretty sleepy!" Marlene said. "I think I need to go to bed right away!"

Cloud scratched the back of his head and gave a hasty yawn. "Yea, me too!"

"Goodnight Tifa!" they all shouted, as they raced up the stairs.

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Cloud tossed and turned in his bed, trying to stop the ache in his left arm. Groaning, he checked the clock. It was 2 in the morning. Giving up, he rolled out of his sweat-soaked sheets and pulled on a t-shirt and sweats. He ran a hand through his rumpled, spikey hair. It was getting worse. He knew that this would be his last night home.

Feeling like he was ripping a part of himself out, Cloud left his room and descended the stairs. He'd leave tomorrow night. Sighing, he walked into the kitchen and began filling himself up a glass of water. From behind him, he heard a soft creaking on the floorboards coming from the livingroom.

"Cloud? Is that you?" a sweet, slightly aprehensive voice asked.

Tifa peeked into the room, her hair slightly mussed from sleep and clad in a white thin-strapped night-gown.

"What are you doing up?" Cloud asked, curious and concerned.

She gave a tiny smile and shrugged. "I couldn't sleep."

"Yea...me neither." Cloud said and downed the rest of his water.

Tifa gave him a searching look and came close so she could peer at his face.

"Are you feeling alright?" she asked, brushing her soft and delightfully cool hands against his hot forehead. "You don't look so good..."

He gently grabbed her wrist and pulled it away from his forehead.

"I'm fine, really." he lied convincingly. "You don't have to worry about me Tifa."

She lowered her gaze and bit her lip. "I can't help it..." she said softly.

They stood silently for a minute.

"Are you going back up to bed?" Cloud asked quietly.

Tifa shook her head. "I was going to sit up in the livingroom for awhile before going back up. I'll never get to sleep if I just toss and turn in back."

"Do you mind if I sit with you?" Cloud asked, somehow still feeling like an outcast asking to join in on a game.

Tifa smiled warmly. "Of course not."

They both went into the living room and stretched out on opposite ends of the couch, their legs meeting in the center. Cloud felt a clenching in his throat. Go on...he urged himself. Tell her that this is the last time. Tell her that after tonight she shouldn't worry herself about you ever again. But the words stuck in his throat.

"How has Denzel been?" he said instead.

Tifa lowered her gaze slightly. "He had one bad episode last week, but he hasn't had one since." She lifted her eyes back up and smiled at him. "He's been doing really well. Such a trooper..."

Cloud found it horribly painful to return her smile.

"And...a-nd how have you been?" he asked, forcing his tone to be casual.

Something passed over her face but she quickly masked it with a smile. "I've been good...just busy, you know."

He gave her a look, but she was fiddling with the bottom of her night-gown, not meeting his gaze. Gently, he leaned forward and tilted her chin up with his hand so he could see her face. Her eyes were sad.

"How have you been Tifa?" he asked gently.

She bit her lip and lowered her gaze again.

"I've been fine, really...I just..." her eyes met his again. "I miss you when your gone."

You'll never know how much pain those words cause me...he thought with a gulp as he took in her beautiful face with its sad, lonely eyes. Feeling as though he were being torn apart inside, he opened his arms up. Tifa scooted closer and pressed her face into his neck as he held her, and stroked her hair. Just tell her...he told himself. Say Tifa, I have Geostigma. Tifa, I'm going to die.

But just as he was bracing himself to form the words, a memory popped into his head. At first he wasn't sure how he had obtained this memory. But then it slowly came to him. It was from when he had mako-poisoning. He was in a wheelchair, barely coherent, but he could feel a pressure on his legs. A dark head was resting on his legs, and he could feel the moisture of its tear drops soaking through his pants.

"What if you never recover, Cloud?" Memory-Tifa was asking him.

Her face was soaked with tears and in her beautiful, watery eyes there was a deep, heart-wrenching fear. And Cloud knew that just the thought terrified her beyond anything.

Sighing, Cloud knew that he couldn't ever give Tifa that kind of hurt ever again. She suffered enough because of him. But he knew that he would have to hurt her. No matter what decision he made it would hurt her. He gave an involuntary shudder.

Tifa pulled away, concerned.

"Cloud what's wrong?" she asked, gently touching his face. "Something is wrong, I can tell."

Cloud closed his eyes and took a shuddering breath. For a brief moment, he put his own calloused hand over Tifa's where it rested on his cheek. He pulled it away, pressed a kiss in the palm and returned it to Tifa. Slowly, and painfully, he stood up. Tifa's face was bewildered and frightened. She always knew when something wasn't right with him. And she knew he was about to say something awful.

"Tifa..." he said hoarsly. "Tifa, I'm leaving."

He forced himself not to look away as her face fell. He forced himself to watch as her bottom lip quivered and her eyes looked back and forth as if searching for an explaination.

"On a job?" she whispered, trying to justify his statement.

Cloud shook his head painfully. "No Tifa. Not on a job...I'm leaving...for good. I won't be coming back."

Trying not to feel anything, trying to be numb, Cloud rushed up the stairs and gathered his stuff, knowing that if he waited a single moment longer, if he saw one single tear spill down Tifa's cheek, that he'd be unable to leave.

When Cloud came back down into the livingroom, Tifa hadn't moved. He heard the pattering footsteps behind him, and he forced himself not to turn and look back at the two little faces who had obviously been listening in on the conversation. He walked up to Tifa.

"Thank you for everything Tifa." he said, his throat sticking painfully.

At the sound of his voice, Tifa's eyes jumped to his. Her face was frightened, unbelieving, and terribly, terribly hurt. Cloud reached out to her.

"Tifa...I'm sorry."

But she pulled away from his touch, looking injured and afraid. Feeling daggers through his heart. Cloud lowered his gaze. He heard Marlene and Denzel sniffling from behind him. This is for the best...he told himself. She's a survivor...she'll be hurt for awhile...but then she'll get angry. She'll be fine if she's angry. She won't miss me if she hates me.

Slowly, Cloud opened the front door. He paused for a second in the doorway, hesistating, knowing that he could still turn around. But he let the door swing shut behind him. As he drove off on his motorcycle, heading to the sanctuary of their dear, deceased friend Aeris's church he didn't turn around. He didn't see Marlene and Denzel press their faces to the window. He didn't see Tifa sink to the floor.

"Everyone is better off because of this." Cloud told himself. "No one needs to suffer anymore because I'm going to die."

But as he got farther and farther away from his home, he couldn't forget about the hurt in Tifa's eyes, and the way she had pressed close to him the second he opened his arms. He couldn't forget the way she told him, "I miss you when your gone." Cloud grimaced as pain shot through his arm.

"Forget about me Tifa." he said through clenched teeth. "There's no hope for me...Please just forget about me."

He wished he could give himself the same luxury. He wished he could forget about Tifa's smile when she realized he was home. He wished he could forget about her hurt when she found out he was leaving. But he forced himself to replay the events in his head over and over. Desperate not to forget his only reason to hold on.