AN: Let me know what ya'll think…Personally I like the last part of this chapter. Sorry, I'll just let you read it. Please enjoy.
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For the next few days no one on the team really talked to each other. Emma and Brennan were still not friends and didn't share a look. They could be in the same room, but they only talked to everyone else, not each other. Well, actually Emma didn't talk to Shalimar either and every time they would unintentionally touch each other, Emma would quickly pull away.
While Emma worked hard trying to suppress her growing feelings, Shalimar tried to figure out the feelings she had.
Shalimar was strongly confused because she remembered how she had felt for Brennan, but the feelings just weren't there anymore. Every time she saw him she felt nothing, but every time Emma walked into the same room as her, she felt her heartbeat increase and her stomach tied. Whenever she occasionally touched Emma her skin started tingling and she was starting to get worried about this. She thought that these feelings would go away when she wasn't under the spell anymore and even though she didn't nearly feel anything as strong as she had felt then, she still felt something, and she couldn't quite name the feeling. She wasn't ready to open up for what this might be, so she kept ignoring it and Emma kept keeping away from her.
Adam was worried, but no matter how many situations he created to force Emma and Brennan to talk to each other, they never did. They always found a way out of it and he was starting to see how much this affected his team. Both Jesse and Shalimar seemed to get more and more reserved because they never could be with both Brennan and Emma at the same time and it pained them.
He just hoped something would happen soon, because he didn't know what to do to get the team back together.
-
Shalimar was pacing back and forth in her room. Over the last days her body had fully recovered from the events and she was starting to feel trapped inside Sanctuary. She felt her body's need of physical activity and all the feelings constantly running through her didn't make it any better.
There was a knock on her door and Brennan walked in.
"Starting to get back to normal I see."
"Yeah, my body is starting to get crazy and in the need of a serious work-out."
"You know, Shal, everything has been so tense these last days and I'm getting tired of it."
"Maybe you should talk to Emma?"
"No. I don't think I owe her any apology."
"Well, it's not like she really owes you one either."
"I think you could use some time out of Sanctuary. You and I could go together, you know, eat dinner and stuff."
"I'd really love to Brennan, but I don't really feel like going out."
"You mean you don't want to go out with me."
"No, that's not what I'm saying."
"That's exactly what you're saying. I just wish you never went out on that mission with Emma."
"Are you blaming her for that too?"
"I don't know. All I know is that things were better before and I would give a lot to make it that way again."
"Then you'll have to start by talking to Emma."
"Sorry, I don't feel like it." He walked out and slammed the door a little harder than he had attended to.
Shalimar let out a sigh and started pacing again, but stopped as her senses picked up a familiar smell.
"Emma?" she said loud. She heard footsteps and ran to the door.
"Emma, wait." Emma turned to a running feral who didn't have time to stop completely and bumped into her.
I'm sorry-"they said at the same time.
Both women started laughing, but soon became serious again.
"Em, I wanna talk to you."
Emma opened her mouth to respond, but Shalimar laid a finger over her lips.
"Please, I really need to talk to you…In my room."
"Okay."
Inside Shalimar's room, she gestured for Emma to sit down on the bed before turning to lock the door.
"Is that really necessary?"
"I just don't want anyone to disturb us. Don't worry, I'm not gonna do anything to you, there's just a few things I need to know about you and me."
"Yeah, that was kinda what I didn't want to hear."
Shalimar sat down closely next to Emma and took one of her hands.
"Look Em, in case you haven't noticed things aren't very cosy in Sanctuary right now. It really hurts me to know that I'm the reason for all this."
"Shal, it's not your fault."
"Yes it is, because if I had stayed better on guard, I would never have been exposed of Michael's powers and then I wouldn't have acted totally wrong around you and then Brennan wouldn't have seen us and we would all be friends."
She saw the hurt face Emma tried to hide at her statement.
"But at the same time I'm kinda glad that it happened because I've realized a few things, but I still have some questions about how I'm feeling."
"What do you mean?"
"For starters I've figured out that I don't have the kind of feelings I thought I had for Brennan."
"Ok."
"And many of the feelings I felt for you when I was under the "spell" hasn't disappeared.
"Shal, where is this going?"
"I just…I was wondering if you could do me a big favour."
"What kind of favour."
Shalimar looked down at Emma's hand and started to play with her fingers, nervous.
"I need to know…I need to know if I have feelings for you or not."
"And I'm supposed to help you with that?"
"I want you to kiss me."
"What?"
"I need to know what I feel…I want you to kiss me."
Shalimar still hadn't looked away from Emma's hand.
"No." Emma pulled her hand away from Shalimar's, which forced her to look up.
"Emma, I-"
Emma abruptly cut in at the same time as she stood to her feet.
"I can't believe you. You're telling me that you have problems, don't you think I have problems too?"
"Of course, I-"
"And just because you want to know if you feel something or not, you want me to kiss you and use me as a lab rat to test it? Guess what; if you don't know if you feel anything you clearly don't and I'm not gonna let you play with my feelings."
"Emma, it came out wrong, please let me explain."
"No thanks, I know all I need to know, just leave me alone."
Emma was already standing by the door.
"Emma, please-"
"Remember all the times I told you to leave me alone? You never could, but if you don't do it this time, I'm gonna make sure that you do. Does that put things in perspective for you?"
She didn't even wait for an answer, but hurried out of the door, slamming it as hard as she could as tears started to flow down her cheeks. She walked the short way to her own room and slammed that door as well, throwing herself down on the bed. It felt like a thousand volts running through her body and all she wanted to do was disappear, maybe even die.
-
Shalimar sat frozen in her bed, her mind still not quite caught up with her. She started blankly at the door.
"What have I done," she whispered to herself. "What have I done?"
The first tear came slowly, almost fighting its way to break free, but when it did several more fell after, not needing to beg for release.
She let herself fall down on the bed, not able to control the tears and the extreme shaking and loud gasps that her body created. She felt how her heart suddenly felt too heavy to bear and at that moment she opened up for the truth, letting realization take over…she loved Emma.