AN: This is a little longer than the others…please R R.
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Emma sat in her bed with the covers around her. After crying for at least a half hour she had a throbbing headache. She stood up and started walking toward the door. She had made a decision and had to tell Adam about her plans.
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Shalimar was still lying in bed, for the moment not crying, but the tears came now and then. Every time she thought about Emma and what she had done to her she felt her eyes starting to sting and her heart wasn't feeling any lighter. In fact it seemed heavier every minute. She knew she had really messed things up, but right now she felt like sobbing and lick her own wounds. There was nothing she could do to change what had happened and now Emma would never talk to her again. Leave me alone. If you don't do it this time, I'll make sure you do. The words were like etched into her mind and heart and she had no doubts Emma would keep her word. What would they do know? Would Emma leave? Oh God, Emma would probably leave. Emma couldn't leave, not after all this, not when she finally had let her feelings for the psionic come through. Or had she? It occurred to her that Emma probably didn't know how she felt because she had offended Emma before she could tell her. She had to tell Emma, no matter what. She slightly shuddered at the thought of what Emma could do to her, but shoved it away, knowing that this would be her only chance to make things right.
She got up and looked at herself in the mirror. She looked like a complete mess, so she went to the bathroom to fix herself and afterwards she headed towards Adam and the lab. She wanted to talk to him first.
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"Adam, I need to talk to you."
"Is something wrong Emma? Are you okay?"
"I want you to be the first to know that I'm leaving the team."
"What? When? Are you sure?"
"I'm leaving tomorrow or the day after I think. It's not just Brennan I'm having problems with, now it's Shalimar too. I can't stand it Adam and I think it's in everyone's best interest if I leave."
"I guess I can't force you to stay, but are you sure? Can't you think about it for a while, I'm sure things can be sorted out."
"No Adam, it's too late for that. I was hoping you could set up a new identity and all other things I need."
"I can get Jesse to have it ready by tomorrow."
"No, I don't want Jesse to know, only you."
"Okay, but I'm strongly advising you to think it through one more time."
"Ok, I will. I'll go to bed and I'll see you tomorrow."
"Okay."
She left a shocked and sad Adam.
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"Adam, I need to ask you about something."
"Shalimar. Hi." He sounded tired and a lot older than he actually was.
"Adam what's wrong?"
"It's nothing."
"Don't lie to me, what is it?"
"It's Emma."
Shalimar instantly went pale.
"Is she okay, has something happened to her?"
"She…she will be leaving Mutant X."
"What?"
""She said that she couldn't take…That she couldn't take all the problems and especially not when it evolved from being problems with Brennan to being problems with you too."
"When is she leaving?"
"Tomorrow or the day after."
Shalimar turned and walked quickly out of the lab.
"Shalimar –"
I'm okay, I just need to do something."
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"Emma!" Shalimar was standing outside Emma's door practically pounding on it.
"Emma, open up, I need to talk to you."
Emma didn't move a muscle, hoping that Shalimar would go away.
"Em, if you don't open the door, I'm gonna break it."
Still no answer.
"I'm serious."
She was starting to get very irritated by Emma's immature behaviour and considered breaking down the door, but decided that it could be a good idea to approach this in a better way than shouting threats.
"Emma, I know that you hate me and think I'm a selfish idiot, but I want to explain to you what I meant and if you let me do I'll promise that you'll feel better. Please open the door."
She waited and was about to give up when she heard footsteps and right after the door was being opened.
Shalimar could see that Emma had been crying and it pained her, but she knew she had to focus or she would do the same thing again as she did earlier.
"It's getting late Shal, I need to sleep."
"I know Em, but I can't stand to see you so sad and it makes me sad and I want to apologize for making you feel so hurt and used and I want to make it up to you and –"
"I get it. You wanna come inside instead of letting everyone know our business?"
"Sorry."
She was so unsure about how to act that she remained standing in the middle of the room.
"Please, sit down." Emma said so Shalimar sat down in the bed and went rigid when Emma sat down next to her.
"Are you okay?"
"I'm fine, I'm just nervous." Shalimar was looking down, afraid to look at Emma.
"I want to say that I didn't mean what I said to you. It came out wrong and what I said wasn't what I thought. I just don't want you to be hurt because I don't look at you as some lab rat or as a test doll. I respect you more than you know and I want to tell you what I should have said earlier."
Shalimar looked uncertainly into Emma's eyes before continuing.
"What I really want is to kiss you. I think I'm in love with you Emma and I know that you can never forgive the pain and hurt I caused you, but I want you to know that it was a big mistake and it happened because I was so nervous and so afraid of admitting it and if I could do anything to make it up to you I would do it."
Tears had started to fall down her cheeks.
"And I know I was selfish because you have problems too and I never meant to play with or hurt your feelings."
Emma couldn't take it anymore. The intense need of wiping away Shalimar's tears were too big so she leaned over and started to dry them of.
"It's okay Shal."
"No it's not and you probably hate me and I can never be forgiven and –"
"I told you, it's okay. I promise."
She kept whipping away the tears that fell and gave Shalimar a loving smile.
"Can you go back to the part where you was talking about that you wanted to kiss me?"
Shalimar looked at her and saw the smile covering her features. She smiled back weakly before leaning over and planted a short, soft kiss on Emma's beautiful lips. The next kiss was longer, but still soft and they were both devouring the moment. When Emma pulled back, Shalimar's eyes remained closed.
"Is this a dream?" Shalimar whispered.
"No, it's real," Emma whispered back before kissing her again, this time deeper, letting her tongue move over Shal's lips and move inside her mouth to taste her properly. Their tongues danced gently, remaining the kissing until they felt a growing need for oxygen. When they separated they locked eyes and their eyes were literally glowing, both not quite collected after what had just been shared between them.
Emma gave Shalimar an uncertain smile and Shalimar smiled back widely, but then her face suddenly turned serious.
"I don't want you to leave Emma."
"How did you know I was going to leave?"
"Adam told me. Well, actually I forced him. The point is that I can't live without you Em, I need you here with me."
Emma had gotten a serious face too.
"I don't know if I can stay Shal. I have so many complications with Brennan."
"But what about the rest of the team? We need you…I need you…but I need Adam and Jesse too. Please don't make me choose between you and them."
"Brennan loves you Shalimar. How do you think he's gonna react if he finds out we're together?"
"He doesn't need to know, nobody needs to know."
"I need people to know Shal. I don't have the strength to keep it a secret. I don't want only a half relationship and I can't hide that I love you."
As Emma said that Shalimar's eyes widened.
"You really love me?"
"Of course I do and I want everyone to know how much you mean to me."
"I want everyone to know how much you mean to me too." She leaned forward and gave her a short kiss. "Brennan are just gonna have to accept us when we tell him. He's a grown man and can probably handle it."
She looked at Emma with an expression full of love and respect and Emma couldn't help but smile as she looked how beautiful and determined the feral was.
"Do you want to tell them now?" Shal asked with a half smile.
"It's late, let's tell them tomorrow. I need some sleep."
Shalimar got up from the bed and slowly started walking towards the door.
"Shal, can't you stay? I mean, can you sleep with me, I don't wanna be alone."
"Ok, I'm just gonna get my nightclothes."
She hurried out, grabbed some clothes and almost ran back. When she got to Emma's room she peeked inside and saw Emma changing into her own nightclothes and she was slightly disappointed that Emma had already changed into some pants, but couldn't help smile when she saw that Emma was naked on her upper body. She leaned further in to get a better view and felt how her heart started beating faster as she thought about what it would be like if Emma turned around so she could get a better look at her forms.
"Shal?"
She was startled at Emma's voice and quickly moved back fully into the hall. She started blushing at the same time as her stomach tied in fear. She was afraid that this would ruin everything because she had spied at Emma and therefore invaded her privacy.
Emma fully opened the door to eye a blushing and shameful feral. She couldn't help but laugh at the sight. Shalimar always looked childish when she was caught doing something she shouldn't have done.
Emma smiled at her. "Why didn't you just come in?"
"I, I wasn't spying on you, I just…"
"It's okay, let's get to bed, I'm exhausted."
She took Shalimar's hand and led her to the bed.
Once in bed, Emma laid herself close to Shalimar, taking Shal's hand in her own, and snuggled up against her arm. Soon enough Emma fell to sleep and Shalimar looked at her for a while before falling asleep herself, both women tired of all the stress over the last few days.
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