To find the words
Time had flow by and the fall weather had started to set in, it was now the beginning of September, a few days passed Labor Day and Abby was now 13 weeks pregnant. She didn't know how to tell John though. She had known that she was pregnant for about two weeks but telling him was something that she just didn't know how to do and it still remained a mystery to her. She could just come out and say it, but she had tried that twice and she didn't know if the third time would be the charm or not.
She just needed to bit the bullet and tell him about this. She had been worried that he would be upset, angry with her in some way. She waited until they were both snuggled up into bed that night, "John honey can I talk to you?"
Carter rolled over so that he could see her and hear her better. "What is it honey?"
Abby was silent for a minute as she tried to find the way to go about this. She took a deep breath in and pulled the words together in her head before saying anything to him. "John, honey," She was already stumbling over her words, and it was harder than she thought it would be, she just didn't want to chicken out and not tell him again. "We, huh, we're uh," deep breath again, "you're going to be a dad. We are having a baby."
Carter was shocked somewhat he didn't have any idea that was what she was going to say, he was happy, that much he knew for sure, but he was momentarily speechless and well it might have been a good thing. A dad, he was going to be a dad that was something that he knew he wanted to be, it was just something that he never thought would happen, at least not right now. He knew that the silence that was coming from him was probably very nerve racking for her, but he really wasn't sure how to react to this. Finally he reached over wrapping his arms around her hugging her tight to him, "oh wow really?" He had a small a mile wide on his face right now, for this really was good news.
"Yeah." She said softly. She thought that he was smiling but the dim light in the bedroom made it hard to see and he had been so quiet when she had told him.
"This is good news," Carter said holding onto her, "this is very good news."
"You're not upset?" She asked her voice still very soft.
"No, oh no, I am not upset at all." Carter said still holding her close to him and placing a small kiss on her forehead. "I am very happy."
"Good," She said softly, "I think."
"Are you not happy?" Carter asked.
"Oh no I am, I'm happy." She replied back, "I just wasn't sure how to tell you about all of this." She was happy about the impending arrival of the baby, but she was also scared, nervous, and unsure of herself, the feelings that every new mother had. The thought of having someone she was responsible for at times seemed overwhelming and she wasn't sure if she could do it.
"Well I know and I am very happy for us." He hugged her softly still holding her close to him. "When, when is the baby coming?"
"The 12th of March is the baby's due date." Abby said. She knew that she was now safely passed the first trimester when the really bad things could happen, and it all seemed to be going well. Granted she would feel better when she heard that little one's heartbeat for the first time, it would make it all more real.
"In March wow," He said softly, "that doesn't give us much time to get everything ready." He kept his tone soft with her right now; getting this feeling that Abby was under much more stress that what she was showing. "That's plenty of time, six months." He wanted to reassure her that everything was going to be just fine, that they would be just fine.
His hand drifted down so that it was laying on her stomach. Thinking about how their child was nestled in there safe and secure from the outside world. Dependent totally upon her right now for everything, but that it would be dependent upon them both in a few short months.
Four weeks later…
"Are you sure you don't want me to try to get the time off to go with you?" Carter asked as they were driving towards County.
"No save you time off for later." She replied back as she munched on a blueberry muffin. "You'll need it when the baby actually gets here, not before."
"Because I'm sure that I can swap with someone." He said as he started the hunt for a parking space. "I'm sure that it wouldn't be a problem."
"No really John its okay you don't have to go with me." Abby insisted now. "I'd rather you have the time off later, nothing is going to happen today that you would really be interested in anyway."
"But what if they decide to do the ultrasound." He protested trying to get her to say that she wanted him there. Even though he knew once she had her mind way up there was no way that he was going to get her to budge on it.
"John," she was getting a wee bit upset with him now, "they will schedule it just not do it while I am there, really it is nothing more than an OB appointment, and I think I can handle gong and peeing in the cup all on my own."
"Are you sure?" He said raising an eyebrow at her, "I would hate for you to have to sit there and wait all alone. I could keep you company take you out to get something to eat afterwards."
She reached over and hit him when she knew that he had the car parked, "yes I am sure, and really I can do this myself. You are just terrified that you are going to miss something, granted I can't figure out what you think that you might be missing out on."
"It is our first baby; you only have one first baby." He pointed out to her.
"Yes, this is our first baby, and you are so right you only have one first baby," she started to get out of the jeep. "But you are not going to miss anything I promise, I won' let them do it without there."
"But I don't want to miss anything." His voice had almost a whining tone to it; she didn't want him to go with her.
"Okay you know what John," She said looking over at him trying very hard not to glare, "you are starting to get on my nerves in a very big way. You do not need to go, I don't want you to go, you are…" She thought for a second, "You are here by banned from any further OB appointments."
"You're kidding right?" He said giving her the wounded eyes routine.
"No, I am not kidding." Abby said. "I will have this child inside me for several more months and you are not allowed to go to any more of the doctor's appointments. You are driving me nuts."
"Oh please." He said giving her a soft smile, "don't ban me Abby."
"Give it up." She said tossing him a soft smile now, "behave and I might change my mind." She stopped walking for a minute, "And don't you even think about trying those puppy dog eyes on me because they are not going to work mister."
"Yes ma'am." Carter said giving her a mock salute.
Abby just shook her head a little and laughed, she knew it was killing him that she didn't want him to go with her, but she really would rather he take the time off when she would need him more. Rather than just sitting there holding her hand while they waited for her to go back to see the OB. She had this feeling that everything was alright and as long as she had that feeling, she could manage to go without him.
The headed inside County to start their day. Abby would work a half-shift and then head over to her OB appointment, Carter was stuck there for a full 12 hours today. Residents and Interns needed supervised. He hadn't been an attending all that long, but it was a nice feeling knowing that he had finally finished and was no longer having to have everything signed off, while he might have no longer have been the chief resident and in charge of the residents, he found that he was still in a way in charge, it was his job to supervise and keep them from still finding that way to get in over their heads.
Abby's OB appointment went off with out a hitch, everything up to this point in time seemed to be going well and they had no reason to suspect that there was anything wrong with her or the baby. She couldn't help but be in awe every time she heard that little one's heart beating. It was music to her ears, that little reassurance that everything was indeed alright. She was starting to get excited about the arrival of the little one. She had three months of being pregnant now behind her, and she only had to wait 6 more months.
March seemed so far away, but in reality she knew that it would be February before she knew it and then it would be February for what would feel like an eternity. She had always been told that it was that last month that drug on forever. She just wanted the time to pass so that she could hold her baby in her arms.