DISCLAIMER: I don't own Harry Potter.

SUMARY: Harry and the twins get a bit friendly late one night at the Burrow. ONE SHOT.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I'm bored right now and love Harry-Fred/George pairings. That's pretty much it. Hope you enjoy.

In the Dark of the Night

He had already been there a few days but still couldn't get used to sleeping in this house. It was quiet, eerily so, considering the number of people who lived here. He no longer had to deal with Ron talking in his sleep since getting a room to himself, but would have preferred that to the silence. Making his way downstairs for the kitchen, he purposefully stepped on creaky stairs just to make noise. He was brought up short in the doorway by identical grumpy expressions.

"Who ran over your puppy," he asked, trying to get a chuckle from the usually effervescent duo. Didn't seem to work, as they only sent him sulky glances and then went back to staring fixedly at nothing. Moving towards the cupboards for something to eat, he continued, "Really, guys, what's wrong?"

George tossed a purple unmarked candy tin onto the table in disgust. "This, Harry, is what's wrong," he said.

"And what might it be?"

"Was supposed to be the newest product for Weasley's Whizzing Wheezes, but it's a dud." Fred was obviously angry about this turn of events and glared at the candy tin as if its contents were at fault.

"Yeah," George said. "We were making a new product for the Valentines Day market, but we'll never have enough time to figure what went wrong and fix it before then. It could take months!"

"What was it supposed to do," Harry asked, sitting down with his cheese sandwiches.

"Well, we heard about some muggle research involving chocolate," Fred said. "Supposedly, the reason it's given as a romantic present is because of what it does to your brain; raises serotonin or some such and makes you feel all happy and tingly. Kind of like being in love or a minny orgasm, was the theory."

"Sooo, we thought to help it along a bit," George continued the explanation. "Add this and that to enhance the properties, a fast acting delivery potion to get things moving quickly, and viola! We've got ourselves something that makes whoever eats it falls madly in love with absolutely everyone. They'd make complete fools of themselves!"

"We even considered that it might make the person come in their pants instead. Still lots of potential funny, but a little more mean. Bit of business with the couples, though."

"Sounds straightforward enough," Harry said around a mouthful of cheese and bread. He swallowed and took a swig of milk. "So, any idea what happened?"

"Yeah," Fred bit out angrily. "That fast acting delivery potion wasn't acting fast enough, so we fiddled with it. Must have neutralized everything some how, I guess…damn it, we could have made a killing!"

"Did you use real chocolate?"

"Oh yeah," George said. "Dark chocolate covered caramel chews." He opened the tin, took one out, and ate it. "Quite good actually, just not with the desired effect."

Fred took one, gave it a dirty look, and then began to nibble all the chocolate off. The three of them sat quietly for a few minutes, tossing back chocolate and cheese sandwiches. Harry had to agree that they tasted very good; the bitterness of the dark chocolate went well with the sweetness of the caramel.

"Maybe Honeydukes could buy the recipe from you. I hear they pay well for new ideas."

"Already tried that," George explained. "They said 'No offense meant, but we'd have to be out of our minds to take a recipe from a pair of jokers like you. We've heard about those Canary Crèmes and Ton Tongue Toffees of yours.'"

"Oh," Harry replied sadly and they fell quiet again.

"This is depressing," Fred groused.

"Yeah, we deserve a bit of a drunk." With that, George raised his wand, said Accio, and a big bottle of firewhisky came floating past Harry's ear a few moments later. Fred got the glasses, even one for Harry.

"Mum won't like us getting him pissed, Fred."

"So," his brother replied with a shrug. "When does she ever like what we do? Besides, Harry's a big boy and can keep a secret. Can't you, Harry?" He turned towards the boy in question and winked, the Weasley smile shining on his face. Harry smiled back and nodded his head. "There, see? Everything's settled!"

He snatched the liquor from his twin and poured liberal amounts in each glass. Holding his out, he said, "A toast! To failures that taste pretty damn good but are still complete and total flops." They all clinked glasses and drank their portions in one toss. Instantly, Harry began coughing and his eyes watered horribly. "Never had firewhisky, huh?" Both twins were pounding him on the back, trying to help him breathe past the burning.

"No," Harry croaked out.

They both laughed at him and Fred poured another round. "Well, Harry my boy, only one way to break you in." Things continued in this manner for quite awhile. Fred poured, everyone drank, and Harry coughed. Finally, he could drink it with only a pleasant tingle all over his mouth.

Placing a hand over his heart, George beamed. "Look, Fred, he's getting used to it!" He sniffled, dramatically wiping at his eye. "I'm so proud."

"Shove off," Harry said with a laugh, trying to actually shove George off his chair. All that he accomplished was making the room spin around his head as he tried to regain balance. Despite his best efforts, he still ended up on the floor with a loud "Ompf!" Fred and George nearly fell to the floor themselves in laughter.

"Alright, maybe the poor boy's had enough," Fred giggled with a slight slur. "Let's get on up to bed." The twins stood and watched a giddy Harry try to do the same.

"I-I've never been pissed before," he said and then hiccupped.

"First time for everything, my friend," George said as he and Fred bent to help the boy up. The three of them paused, shocked by the desire that flared through each of them at the simple contact. The twins got Harry stable on his feet and then hurriedly let go. Embarrassment was mirrored on each of their faces, but the Weasley's beat Harry for blushing. "Uh…um…," George started lamely.

"Let's just get upstairs. Must've drunk too much," Fred said, shaking his head to clear it of strange but arousing images.

All of them were having problems with their balance as they navigated the creaky staircase. Each time they bumped into one another that strange lust rushed throughout their bodies, making certain appendages quite happy. The twins' door was the first to the left of the landing, but Harry still had another set of stairs to go before he could crawl into bed. Being the drunkest, that could prove quite dangerous. Apprehensive over these strange feelings, they nevertheless decided to escort their friend to his door so that he wouldn't break his neck falling down the stairs, figuring that the two of them could keep each other in line.

Everyone tried to stay far enough from the others so as not to touch, but close enough to be of use in a fall. Unfortunately, there were quite a few stumbles. By the time they reached the top all were breathing heavily and not completely from exertion. Having quite a lot of trouble getting his door open, Fred leaned in to do it for him. Harry turned with a shaky grin on his face. He wanted to end the night on a high note despite all of this weirdness, but ended up stumbling and falling against the both of them. Everyone's breathing hitched as Harry found himself wrapped up in two sets of strong arms, staring into identical hungry expressions.

"Guess those thingies work after all, huh," Harry said breathily with a nervous laugh.

"Guess so," Fred and George chorused before swooping in on the younger boy. Fred captured his lips, their tongues dueling, as George sucked and nipped Harry's tender throat. The three of them touched each other ravenously, shoving through the partially open door so hard they nearly fell to the floor. Somehow, the door was pushed closed quietly as Fred pulled the shirt over Harry's head.

They stumbled over to the other side of the room, undressing along the way. Falling onto the bed in a heap, they proceeded to kiss, suck, lick, and bite each other to completion. Harry gasped in shock and moaned when George entered him for the first time that night, the sound swallowed by Fred's kiss. He was passed back and forth between the brothers, none of them able to get enough. Finally, the three of them fell asleep in a sweaty, sticky, tangled Harry sandwich, pleasure still coursing through their tired bodies.

He was quite warm. Just coming out of sleep, he couldn't quite figure out why he was so warm. Until one of those reasons moaned right in his ear. His eyes popped open as memories of the previous night flooded his mind. His head throbbed from the light filtering in through the curtains, but not nearly as much as other parts of him. His entire face suffused in red over his actions the night before.

He'd shagged the Weasley twins; or, more precisely, they'd shagged him. He'd had sex for the first time with two guys, and they just had to be his best friend's brothers. "Bloody hell," he exclaimed loudly.

"Shhhhh," someone said hurriedly underneath him, placing a quieting hand over his mouth. "Hangover," they continued to whisper. The twin on top concurred with a grunt.

"Wait," the grunting twin said in quiet alarm. "What the hell are we…" He had just glanced down at the naked Harry pressed intimately between him and his brother, both also naked as jaybirds. "Bloody hell," he said, eyes widening in horror.

"Exactly what I said," Harry mumbled.

"George…George" the top one said, shaking his twin who had already fallen back to sleep. "Wake up you bleeding bastard!" He and Harry winced at the volume of his voice, but it sure did get the other boy's attention.

"What on earth could you possi…What the…Oh God!" He had just realized their predicament.

"Those blasted chocolates aren't duds," Fred said heatedly, jumping off Harry and onto the floor. He wobbled a bit due to the hangover but regained his balance quickly enough and twirled to face the bed, his expression furious.

"B-but we'd been eating and feeding them to people all week," George exclaimed, he and Harry trying to untangle themselves while important parts remained covered. They weren't so angry as Fred to ignore the crushing embarrassment.

"I know," Fred groaned, hands pulling his hair in frustration. "What the hell was so different last night then-" He stopped suddenly, a eureka type look dawning on his face.

"The firewhisky," the three of them yelled together, instantly followed by grimaces of pain.

"Of course," George exclaimed, throwing off the blanket to stand facing his twin. "The magic in the liquor must have reactivated and mutated the magic in the candies! My God, this is…why it's-"

"Marvelous!"

"Terrific!"

"Date rape waiting to happen!" Harry couldn't help pointing this little detail out, even though it did seem to curb their enthusiasm a bit.

"Oh, yeah," they said together, looking as if their Christmas presents had caught fire.

"Wait, Harry…," Fred began. "You don't think that we…"

"That is to say…um…"

He finally figured what they were trying to ask and his eyes got as big as dinner plates. "Of course not! You didn't know what would happen any more than I did. You thought they were duds. You can't be held responsible for last night, it just happened." They looked quite relieved to hear him say that, though some of the previous embarrassment was coming back. They started pulling on the clothes from last night, except for Harry because they were in his room and most of his clothes were in tatters, and tried not to look at each other. They were heading towards the door to go when Fred spun around and blocked their path.

"Um…Ok, sooo," Fred said, surprisingly upbeat, "we shagged our little brother's best friend last night." The other two stared at him, flabbergasted that he could put it that bluntly and still look so happy. He pressed on, heedless of their expressions. "I, for one, had loads of fun. How about, though, we never speak of this again under pain of death? Peachy? Great, let's go eat." They continued to stare after him for a few moments. Glancing at each other, they nodded their heads in agreement and followed.

Lunch was being served when the trio came into the kitchen. "Harry! Why're you limping so badly, mate," Ron asked in concern as he looked his friend over. Harry fought down a scarlet blush and mumbled something about tripping on his way to the loo last night.

The three of them made sure to sit as far away from each other as possible and tried to enjoy the fabulous lunch. Mrs. Weasley went rummaging through the cupboards when Ron started whining for dessert and pulled out a purple unmarked candy tin.

"Here we go," she said happily, glancing inside to see what it held. "Would anyone care for some chocolates?"

"NO," yelled Harry, Fred, and George as they jumped up from their seats and sprang for Mrs. Weasley.

The End

2ND AUTHOR'S NOTE: I had made it a bit graphic, but then remembered that if I get one more strike against my account it'll be deleted. Hope you enjoyed it. Please review.