A/N: Hope you like! There's plenty of humor!
Everyone's eyes, even Sesshoumaru's, flickered in the direction of the yelp. Kenshin staggered, as though he was drunk, into the car. Before Kaoru could get out, "What happened to you?", Kenshin said, eyes crossed, "Oh, there you are, Miss Kaoru..." before falling with a thump to the ground.
"Oh, great," Yusuke sighed. "Now we've got two unconscious people on our hands." He ran his hands through his slick black hair. "Just heap him over there with the fire demon," the teen directed at no one in particular. Kaoru emitted a horrified gasp and shot Yusuke a very evil look, which he happened not to catch, and ran over to Kenshin's limp form. Once again, suppressing boredom and silence thickened the air in the train car. Yusuke and Sanosuke both could not keep still, fidgeting until the younger of the two finally burst out, "Alright! That's it! You and me, Sanosuke, right here, right now. I'll play anything: Asshole, 5-Card Stud, B.S., Gin Rummy, Gin...speaking of gin I could use some right now..., hell, I'll even play GO FISH! I'm so EFFING BO-" Suddenly, Yusuke was flung forward into Sesshoumaru. One 'Look of Death' and one ruined shirt later, Yusuke was back on his side of the car, casting uneasy looks in the direction of the formidable demon. Once he had recovered from his near death experience, Yusuke noticed that once again, the train had come to a stop.
"Inuyasha no BAKA!" Sesshoumaru said ANGRILY through clenched teeth. "Can't even drive a friggin' subway," he suddenly began pacing the floor.
Kaoru in the meantime, was hunched over Kenshin, holding a newly acquired icepack in her left hand. "Kenshin…why do you always blindly rush into danger…and in your case, rush into a wall?" Kenshin smiled weakly and took her hand.
"I was worried about you, Miss Kaoru, that I was," she grabbed his hand lovingly and just when a romantic buildup was about to take place, the teen delinquent 'ahem'ed.
"Go make out somewhere else. I hereby declare this car to be the booze car!!!" He then pulled out a random bottle of vodka. Kurama's green eyes flashed with a certain annoyance that the JD was all too good at recognizing by now. "Psh, Kurama, why the hell don't you drink with the rest of us anyways?"
The redhead lethargically sighed and glanced down at his unconscious friend. "Because, Yusuke," he started in an unusually cool tone of voice, "someone has to be responsible and I highly doubt that that someone will ever be you."
The Reikai Tantei scoffed and eyed Sanosuke. "Yo, I'm willing to start over if you knock a couple back with me! Whaddya say!?" Sanosuke, being Sanosuke of course accepted and Kurama just smacked his face with his hand.
"Why me?"
"Aw, c'mon, powderpants! Join the fun! You know you wanna!" Sanosuke said, determined to get Kurama in on the party.
"OR," Kurama replied, "I could just not."
"Whoa, fine. I guess it'll just be me and Yusuke," Sanosuke said, backing slowly away from Kurama, who was presently reading a magazine newly acquired from his hair. Sanosuke took a seat across from Yusuke, who whipped out two shot glasses and a bottle of Bacardi. The older teen was inspired. "Where do you get all this stuff? Aren't you like sixteen?" Yusuke raised his eyebrows suggestively.
"I have my ways," was all he said back to Sanosuke. He turned to out pink-haired friend, interrupting his reading by hollering, "Hey, Kurama! You got a table?"
Sanosuke snorted. "Now why would he have a..." His voice trailed off in amazement as he watched Kurama pull a small folding table out of his hair.
"There," Kurama said, unfolding and setting the table down in the middle of the car. "Will you leave me alone now?"
"Yeah, sure, whatever you say Kurama," Yusuke said, waving his dismissal with his hand. Yusuke set down his 'equipment' on the table, declaring to Sanosuke, "Drinking contest!"
"Hell yeah!" Sanosuke screamed right back in his face. "Let's go, baby! You'll never beat the MASTA!"
"Watch me!! WAHAHAH!" Yusuke shrieked so loud that his grating voice made even Hiei squirm in his…(inconvenient) state.
"First one to get as much in 'em," Sanosuke started.
"WINS!" Yusuke screamed again. Once the two teens had engaged themselves in the aforementioned drinking contest, Hiei suddenly slowly opened his eyes (much to Kurama's despair). You see, our moody little youkai was probably going to be in his hangover-hood-from-hell phase. Meaning? Oh right, he's going to sound out for blood. So much for being out like a light.
"Ittai nani ga?!" Hiei muttered under his breath as he forced himself up and rubbed the back of his head.
"What happened? Oh the usual...you stole Yusuke's alcohol again," Kurama informed.
"Hn," came the reply of the Jaganshi, crossing his arms. "You have no proof, kitsune." Kurama rolled his flashing emerald eyes and jerked a thumb toward Yusuke and Sano.
"Then tell me, Hiei...where would you get alcohol? Why, from Yusuke of course." Hiei winced and was beginning to get a headache from all of the noise that the two delinquent teenagers were making. "Someone...is going to pay...for giving me this ACCURSED awakening..." The fire demon hissed. And since, he did not like Yusuke and Sanosuke one bit (for the moment anyway) he had set his little sights of revenge on those two. Oh yes, the two drunkards had just signed their death warrants.
"You freaking idiots..." Hiei began, boring holes into the two drunken teens. Apparently, they were completely unaware of this, with Yusuke yelling out "More booooze!" and Sanosuke responding with, "Hear, hear!" Hiei rolled his eyes completely exasperatedly, addressing the two insufferable humans, "If you to don't shut the hell up, you're in for it." He concluded with a menacing glare. Two pairs of glazed eyes rolled in his direction, lingered on him a moment, and then uncontrollable laughter filled the entire car. Then, as suddenly as it started, it was silenced. Kurama, who had been failingly attempting to fall asleep, glanced over to see the two unconscious forms of Sanosuke and Yusuke with Hiei and Sesshoumaru towering over them.
"That should shut them up..." Sesshoumaru trailed off, to which the fire demon responded with a resounding "Hn."
"I never thought I'd ever say this to you, Hiei," Kurama said, "but thank you."
"Hn. I didn't do it for the pleasure of your thanks. I did it so that they would cease their foolish behavior." He folded his arms and quickly readjusted his baggy white collar. "I still don't see how they can succumb to their ningen 'liquid' like that. Hn…"
Kurama blinked, bags under his eyes. "Hiei, I really wouldn't criticize these two…considering the fact that YOU seem to get HIGH on ice cream occasionally."
"You lie…" the Jaganshi hissed angrily. Kurama whistled ever innocently and suddenly, his fatigue suddenly faded away (if there was any REAL exhaustion to begin with) once the idea of blackmail came into mind. Hiei quickly took note of the dangerous gleam in the kitsune's eyes. "What. The. Hell." He muttered in exasperated breaths as he watched his NOW FORMER ally pull out snapshots from the depths of his long and vibrant red hair.
"So I don't have proof do I?" Kurama feigned innocence and took rapid glances at each photograph. He felt his lips curl into a smile. Sesshoumaru watched with mild interest. Blackmail was something that he always found to be incredibly fun. "Does anyone want to see these pictures? Kenshin? Kaoru? Sound interested?" The 'human' said as he chuckled.
"Kitsune…what the HELL are those pictures of?!"
"Oh, these old things? Actually, I think they're quite cute!" Kurama said with a knowing smile that Hiei didn't like in the least. Hiei didn't even bother to go for the Hn-I-couldn't-care-less act - Kurama had just made it personal.
"You should know better than to make a fire demon angry," Hiei grumbled in an annoyed tone. "Just hand them over, and maybe I'll spare you." Kurama chuckled.
"You really think that you threaten me? I know you too well, Hiei. Nice try, though. I've been wanting to show someone these for months." He rounded on Sesshoumaru. "Would you like to see them, Sesshoumaru?"
He smiled slightly in return to the pink-haired boy's question, saying, "While that would be quite entertaining, I think I'd rather watch you blackmail him. As long as you don't show them to anyone else, you can still use them for criminal purposes."
"Touché," Kurama replied. "Thanks for the advice." Hiei just looked more enraged after this exchange. Kurama, meanwhile, was ignoring him as he tried to think up what he could make Hiei do for him.
His thought process was interrupted when, through the ceiling, crashed another life form. Everyone in the car stared at what appeared to be a human girl, who was, at the moment, regaining consciousness. Sesshoumaru turned back to his window, muttering something about "more stupid humans." The girl stood up, shaking her head and dusting off the green shirt she wore which read "YFG". She turned towards Kurama and Hiei, ignoring all the other car passengers.
"Can we, uh, help you?" Kurama asked her as he stuffed the Polaroids into his pocket.
The girl's eyes just lit up, and she screeched, "Make him be your love slave!"
Kurama's eyes went wide. Love slave? Hiei? Okay, he knew that he had been called a girl before but to be asked to...you know...in front of a random child on a train was just...well...a little...odd! "Love WHAT!?" Hiei snapped as he placed a hand on his katana hilt. The girl nodded spastically and this only provoked Hiei's anger. "Die mortal!"
ZAP.
There was a bright flash of light for about two seconds and then the smell of something burning soon followed suit. It wasn't before long until their eyes' widened in fear. There sat a pile of ashes. Oh well, she HAD it coming all right. "Uhh…Hiei? That was overdoing it…by JUST A BIT…" Kurama said, whipping out a random broom from his hair and sweeping up the aforementioned ashes. He really hated filthy trains.
"Hn…I don't DO romance. Especially when requested from a ningen…"
Meanwhile, away from the psychotic Hiei and co., Inuyasha was growing tired of driving the train. "Damn it, why the hell did I get stuck driving this piece of crap? Although I must admit, I'm pretty good if I do say so myself." There was a random pause and Inuyasha rolled his tawny eyes lethargically. "Screw this!!! I gotta get outta here!" Inuyasha screamed while using his trusty claws to slash his way out of the moving train. And suddenly, the troupe of freaks had eerily heard the words "IRON REAVER" echo throughout the train.
"FUCK you Inuyasha!" Sesshoumaru screamed. "You'll pay for this!!!"
Sesshoumaru dashed towards the front of the train, still screaming at Inuyasha. Everyone else just rolled their eyes as Kurama finished cleaning up the cremated Yaoi Fan Girl. With no one driving the truck or giving it more fuel and it gradually began to slow down. No one dared to go up and inspect the damage, but just as they were about to try to find a way out of the stopped train, one very unexpected hair burst through the door of the car. A very tall, muscular man in a long white coat, followed by a bouncy-looking girl with blue hair, declared to the rest of the car, "My SAKE senses were tingling!" Kenshin 'oro'ed and fell back into Kaoru's arms. "Hey! It's my idiot apprentice! Finally got a lady, I can see! Now, where's that sake...?"
Sanosuke, who had regained consciousness long enough to hear none other than Hiko's grand entrance, slowly slipped the jug in his hand behind his back, hoping he would be able to finish it off himself. Meanwhile, the girl had bounded over to Kurama and Hiei, enveloping them both in a tight squeeze. "It's so good to see you guys!" she exclaimed. "It feels like it's been forever!"
"Even though it's only been three days, I guess I can see where you're coming from..." Kurama said, noticing that while the girl had released him, she still had her arm draped around Hiei, who was at the moment, blushing. "So HIEI," Kurama continued, remembering that he still had those Polaroids, "It's really NICE to see BOTAN, ISN'T IT?!" And Hiei did not like the uncharacteristically devilish grin that was spreading across Kurama's face at that moment.
A/N: Betcha can guess what I'm gonna say next! That's right! R&R! Thanks!