A/N: Okay here's the next update, got it up a little faster than I thought I would. As always feedback is appreciated, so please read and review, it's motivation that keeps me writing.

Chapter 5: What did I do wrong?

They had gotten that news 7 days before Christmas, a holiday that they had been looking forward too talking about; they were going to have their own little dinner together. Now neither of them were in a festive mood and found that actually Christmas wasn't in the front of their minds any more.

Abby's thoughts were of what about next year, would there be a baby under that tree anticipating Santa's arrival? Would she be having all those sleepless nights in a rocking chair singing lullaby's to her baby? Abby knew it wasn't a matter of loving her child enough to get through all this of, it was the uncertainty that a medical condition brought concerning her child's future.

Would the little one be strong enough at such a fragile age to survive through surgery, and if that happened would everything still be okay. Every parent dreams when they are pregnant of having that perfect child, ten fingers, ten toes and everything just the way that it was supposed to be. While on the outside her baby was perfect in every way, with those 10 fingers and 10 ten toes, it was on the inside where you couldn't see, that something had gone wrong.

Where had she gone wrong, not done what she was supposed to do, not follow some prenatal guidance? After all this baby was growing inside of her, she was providing it's nurturing environment and something in that environment had gone wrong. All this time she had worried about Bipolar and passing along that disorder that she never consider that something else might be lurking at the door to send her finally centered universe spinning completely out of control.

One of the most joyous events in her life had been turned it a nightmare of sorts, she couldn't help but be full of fear. Each ultrasound that she had to have ordered by the baby's cardiologist didn't show anything that they didn't already know, and the answer was always the same, we will know more when the baby is born.

Carter tried to take all of this in stride, to think positive thoughts and not dwell on the possibility of what could go wrong. He tried to be as supportive as he could be to Abby and still get things ready for the arrival of the baby, yet not matter what he did there seemed to be this giant black cloud that hung over them now.

Blaming each other for this would have been so easy, but he knew that it was not either one of their faults. The answer of this is something that just randomly happens without rhyme or reason wasn't the answer that he was wanting to hear, but he knew that some things just couldn't be explained.

He could tell from the way that Abby acted, the little things that she did and the words that she let slip when they did talk now, was that she blamed herself. That no matter what the doctors said or what he said to her that was how she was going to feel. All the trips to the doctor's office, the constant tests and monitoring, they were wearing her down. She was in for an ultrasound once a week, and fetal stress testing now too on top of it all.

Yet Abby worked her shifts, she had planned on starting her maternity leave in February. Work seemed to help her stay focused on other things for awhile. As long as she stayed busy her mind didn't go to those places and she didn't think of all that could go wrong.

Abby knew that Carter was keeping a watchful eye over her, making sure that she sat down every now and then to rest, to make sure that she was eating enough, he brought her little treats during the day even in an attempt to get an extra little smile out of her. And even if Abby didn't feel like smiling at the time, she would give him one, just so that he would know that what he was doing was appreciated by her.

"Hey baby." Carter said as he walked into the lounge where Abby was standing with her head in the fridge bent over looking for something, anything that hadn't gone moldy, expired, or smelled funky.

She pulled her head up looking at Carter, "Hi." She replied going back to her foraging.

"Hungry?"

"Ugh, I'm always hungry; well that is when I don't have to use the bathroom." She stepped back from the fridge now. Looking over at him as the smell of hot food hit her nose. "Oh, what do you have?"

"Grilled Cheese and French fries." Carter replied, "want it?"

For just a brief moment Abby's eyes lit up the room, "oh yeah I want it." She waddled over to him. "you wouldn't happen to have…"

Carter didn't let her finish that sentence, "one strawberry banana milkshake."

She smiled her hungry stomaching growling loud enough for the room to hear. "Oh you are a godsend." She slipped into a chair and started to devour the food he had brought.

"What time you off?" Carter asked.

"Four hours." Abby replied between bites. "Do I need to take the EL home?"

"No I can take you." Carter said, "I should be out of here about then too if you don't mind waiting around a few minutes."

"Can I lay down while I wait for you?"

"I will cordon off an exam room just for you so that you can have a bed even." He smiled softly at her as he got up and kissed the top of her head, "enjoy your…" he looked at his watch, "late afternoon snack."

"I will." She said giving him back that small hint of a smile, she wasn't in a bad mood right now just very hungry, "Go on get back to work and let me eat before I go after your arm."

"Yes ma'am." Carter gave her a mock salute as he headed out the door. Some days where better than others and today seemed to be one of those better ones. While he knew that they were going to have bad ones, the nice ones in between where very nice too. As Carter went back to work he thought of some little things that he could do for her to make today stay a good day. Only ten more weeks to go.