A/N: Sorry for the long wait! But here's chapter 4!!
"Kitsune, what the HELL are you getting at?" Hiei hissed irately, shrugging off Botan's arm. His face WAS still red after all…
"Oh me? I'm just babbling incoherently. Pay no attention to me or my…" Kurama paused and whipped out the pictures. "WAHAHAHAH!" He shrieked, "pictures…" Botan's eyes went wide.
"Okay then…" she turned to Kenshin and Kaoru. "I'm always one for meeting new people while at the same time hoping that they aren't raging lunatics like Kurama is right now!" She held out a hand and Kaoru unceremoniously shook it. "Hiya!" She squeaked to Kenshin (who was recovering from his 'fall' once Hiko had come aboard). "Don't worry, I'm not THAT weird…er…I hope not anyway. My name is Botan!"
Kenshin smiled sheepishly. "Yes, I had deduced that, that I had."
Botan smiled cheerily and stared at Kaoru and Kenshin together. "You know you two are lucky!" Botan mused randomly, "You two are soul mates, aren't you?" Kenshin fell backward…again…unconsciously sputtering his usual stream of oros.
"W-well…that was my impression! Did I make a mistake?"
"No," Hiko interjected. "This idiot probably is in love with this woman but is too STUPID to see it himself."
Botan crossed her arms and nodded in agreement, "You're right, sir. There are WAY too many stupid people on this train."
Hiei snorted. "And the saddest thing is that you're not the stupidest this time…" Kurama didn't say anything. He just pulled out his pictures and started to guffaw again.
"Weeelll, anyway, I think that I should steer this conversation into a different direction!" Botan chirped. She eyed Kenshin. "Is this strapping man right about you being in love with this woman?" She had a thing for romance and if there was one thing that she LOVED above everything else…it was ROMANCE. Fancy that.
"C'mon, you can tell me, Kenshin," Botan pleaded, hoping to drag a confession out of the redhead.
"Oro...And why exactly should I divulge that information?" Kenshin asked, avoiding answering the question at all costs. Meanwhile, Kaoru's eyes began to water dangerously, and she blurted out, "Well, Kenshin, if you dislike me so much, why don't you just tell everyone in this car and get it over with!" Kenshin gave her a surprised look, holding her arms, trying to calm her down.
"Miss Kaoru, don't say that!" Her wide blue eyes, along with everyone else's, turned towards Kenshin. "Ano...I do...lov-"
He was violently slapped on the back by Hiko, who proclaimed rather loudly, "You can do it, Kenshin!" This was preceded by a small amount of random laughter on Kenshin's master's part. Kenshin gave Hiko a strange look and then refocused his attentions on Kaoru. He cupped her face in his hand, whispering something into her ear. Everyone watched, Botan with much excitement, as Kaoru's eyes got wide, and then her whole face turned crimson.
"Kenshin! I had no idea!" He gave her a big smile, took her by the hand as she giggled girlishly, and led her into the next car, leaving everyone else completely dumbfounded.
The juvenile delinquent's eyes fluttered open fast enough to see Kenshin and Kaoru leave to the next car. "YES!" He rose to his feet rather gracefully. "HENTAI ACTION!" Everyone else failed to see that he used his 'useful' demonic agility to rush through the car, now with a random video camera in hand. WHERE he got that…well, even WE don't know…
"Hn…looks like the Tantei is gone too…" The silence lasted for about oh, say…three seconds before they all heard Kaoru shriek in horror…that and a very loud SLAP.
"You…JERK! Stay over there!" Kaoru cried, looking back at Kenshin. His hair was unruly and his gi was halfway off. This brilliant sight led everyone to believe that well, yeah. STUFF was going on (since this is PG-13, we wouldn't want your ears to be tainted so it has been conveniently been edited for the reader's pleasure). The other car door closed once again and Yusuke rubbed his throbbing head in pain.
"Kuso! Botan, you might have some competition for being freakishly strong for a chick. Maybe she hits harder than Keiko even…" Everyone rolled their eyes.
"Hangover, huh?" Hiko asked. The teen nodded. "Here's sake, this is much better than what you're drinking. I guarantee." The Reikai Tantei's eyes lit up and widened into saucers as he looked at the enormous jug of sake.
Kurama groaned…and then brought up a very good point. "The train has stopped…you know we could make our esc--" then there was a climactic and VERY predictable screech. The train began moving forward. Who was the driver, again, we don't know. "Well, then since I have such an uncanny ability to make things backfire, I think I should use this situation to my advantage and have a little fun." The kitsune flipped his red hair and glared mysteriously at Hiei.
"YES! YAOI HENTAI ACTION!" And a few minutes later, Yusuke was knocked out and thrown in some random corner, courtesy of Kurama and Hiei's wrath.
Kurama stared at Yusuke with extreme disdain, rolling his eyes. He then looked up at Hiei, regaining his mysterious glare. "Back to my previous statement..." Hiei squirmed uncomfortably.
"What are you looking at me like that for?!"
"Oh, you hadn't thought I'd forgotten about these darling things did you?" With an exceedingly devilish grin, Kurama whipped out the infamous Polaroids.
"What the HELL, kitsune?!" But to Hiei's dismay, Kurama had swooped down upon Hiko, dragging Botan over and then threateningly waggling the pictures towards them. Hiei's eyes flamed. "Don't. You. DARE," he seethed.
Kurama flashed him a huge smile, saying, "Oh, but I wouldn't want to deprive them of some quality entertainment, Hiei-kun." Hiei narrowed his eyes dangerously at Kurama, and if looks could kill, Kurama would be a pile of ashes. Wait, Hiei's looks really can kill. Kurama WAS a pile of ashes! Or so Hiei dreamed. Instead, Kurama was staring right back at him, a scarily wide grin plastered across his face.
"Whatever. I don't have time for your crap," Hiei spat as he huffed away to a random corner.
"You know Hiei, it's not nice to ruin other people's fun," Kurama said with mock sadness.
"Good think you can't ruin mine!"
After some quasi-evil snickering, Kurama approached the blue-haired ferry girl, inquiring, "Botan, don't you remember that party in Makai...?"
Botan tapped her index finger against her chin for a few moments. "You mean the one where we had to leave early because Yusuke STUPIDLY fed him ice cream?" The aforementioned teen shot her an annoyed glare but she thought nothing of it. "Yes, Kurama. I remember that party…why do you ask, anyway?" It was then that Hiei's ruby orbs shot up and noticed that Kurama pulled out his ever-trusty CANDID snapshots.
"Don't. You. Dare," the Jaganshi muttered again in exasperated breaths, flames dangerously dancing in his eyes. Poor Botan in the meantime just looked at Hiei, and then Kurama. Hiei. Kurama.
"Can someone PLEASE explain to me what is going on!?" She shrieked, her head starting to spin from all of the confusion.
"I think that the flowerboy is trying to show you those pics of the flameboy," Sanosuke interjected 'smartly' as everyone eyed him in confusion.
"How IS it…that this BAKA rooster knows what's going on and the ferry girl doesn't?!" Hiei snapped, waving his hands in the air rather passionately.
"Never mind that," Kurama said in his suave tone of voice and motioned for Botan to hobble over. She did just that.
"W-wait, kitsune! I'll strike a deal with you…just so long as you keep up with your end of the bargain…and well, not make me do anything stupid and out of line…" Hiei ended his statement with a resounding Hn.
"Okay, then," Kurama agreed, much to the youkai's surprise. "Well, this is going to be interesting…" Kurama muttered to himself, glancing discreetly at Botan. Hiei swallowed hard.
Kurama just smiled right back at him. Oh, this was just too fun! "So, you don't want Botan to see the pictures, am I right?" Hiei nodded vigorously. "Okay, then," Kurama continued, smile growing wider by the minute, "If you don't want her to see them, then, well, no offense Botan, I'm afraid I leave you no choice but to kiss the ferry girl."
Botan's eyes grew to the size of saucers, while Hiei sputtered something along the lines of, "You've GOT to be kidding me," while his cheeks flushed dangerously pink. "Oh, I'm sorry, Hiei! This would be your first kiss wouldn't it?" Hiei cleared his throat suggestively and stuttered, "Um...no?" After that remark, Sanosuke, and Hiko took the liberty of laughing as loudly as possible, while Kenshin and Kaoru tried to hide their smiling faces.
Meanwhile, Botan had stepped closer to Hiei, saying so only he and Kurama could hear, "Look, if the pictures are really that bad, just kiss me and get it over with. 'Kay?" Hiei looked up at Botan as she held his hands in her own and the whole car began to quiet down. "Hn," Hiei said as he leaned in to kiss her full on the lips. Hiko whooped, high-fiving Sanosuke. Kaoru got a rather dreamy look in her eyes, to which Kenshin responded by squeezing her hand and giving her a small kiss. Hiei and Botan's kiss began to draw itself out beyond what anyone expected, and everyone stared, all five pairs of conscious eyes - along with one camera lens.
"I'm ba-ack!" There was the voice that the Jaganshi dreaded with every fiber in his being. It rang eerily through the train car and Kurama's eyes darted around until he saw where the voice was coming from.
"Oh. No," the redhead sputtered as he hid his Polaroids behind his back and whistled innocently.
"YOUKO MY MAN!" Yusuke screeched as he ran up and high fived the teen. "Where've ya been? I haven't seen ya since the party at my house! Dude, I had vodka and everything the night after 'cause my mom got some extra cash from who the hell knows where!"
Youko. Tasekano Youko. He was Yusuke's partner in crime…the only difference? He sure wasn't a juvenile delinquent. As a matter of fact, he graduated high school and was a straight A student… But that's BEYOND what you need to know anyway. "I've been in college, man. It's rough!" Youko interjected in a child-like squeak. Yusuke shrugged. "But look-ee! I have something that I think you'll recognize!" It was at that moment when he pointed to his prized possession, his 'baby', and in other words, his precious video camera.
"HOLY SHIT YOU GOT SHOTS OF THEM KISSING AGAIN!? You're a GENIUS!" Yusuke screamed as he did a head butt of 'victory' with his companion…that…proved…effective. In approximately three seconds, just about everyone (except for Youko and Yusuke) rolled their eyes when they took in the sight of the terrible twosome passed out on the floor.
"Apparently their heads aren't hard enough," Hiei snorted, wiping his mouth with his black sleeve.
"I hope they aren't going to stay like that for long," Sanosuke said as he glared at Yusuke. "I wanna have another contest…"
The train, now that Youko had abandoned his position of driver, began to slow down. Sanosuke excused himself, saying, "I'll be right back," which no one took as a good sign. Kenshin and Kaoru rolled their eyes, while Kurama, who had previously been whistling in a random corner, walked over to the two unconscious bodies.
"If we're getting off soon, I may as well revive them," Kurama said to no one in particular. Hiei looked as though he might protest, to which Kurama said, "I'm sure you don't want to be responsible for dragging them to their houses." Hiei, slightly defeated, sat down on the train bench, deep in some random thought.
Just as the train was about to stop, there was a loud, short scream of "EFF!" from the front of the train and everyone present (and conscious) rolled their eyes as the train sped up again. Groans from all around met Sanosuke as he slowly opened the door to the car, broken lever in hand. "Um, I think I broke the train..." he sheepishly admitted.
Kenshin exasperatedly ran his hands through his hair, saying, "What do you mean, Sano?", honestly fearing the answer.
"Well, there was this lever, and it said 'stop' on one side and 'fast' on the other, and I kinda, well pulled it the wrong way - towards 'fast'."
"Oro..." was all Kenshin could respond with.
"Hey, idiot apprentice, calm down," Hiko said to Kenshin. "This whole being-stuck-on-a-train-thing is actually kinda fun!"
"Oh, really? Spend a few more hours with this lot and then come back and talk to me," Kenshin burst out. When he became aware of Hiei's accusing glare, he added quickly, "...I mean, I love you guys?" Hiei just 'hn'ed and let his eyes wander over to his least favorite kitsune of the moment, who was presently hovering over Yusuke and Youko, working his best to revive them with his medicinal herbs as Botan watched intently as he worked.
"There," that should do it, Kurama stated coolly as he took a few steps back and watched as the teens groggily opened their eyes.
"What…the hell happened to me?! Where am I!?" Youko panicked as he ungracefully leapt to his feet and let his eyes dart around. He landed on Kenshin and Kaoru. "Dude…" Yusuke blinked and eyed the older teen in wonder.
"What's up bud? These guys too weird or something?"
"No, it's not that…" Kaoru bit her lip and looked in the other direction, starting to whistle.
"That…is SO off key…" Hiei muttered under his breath. "You shouldn't tease her, that you shouldn't," Kenshin said, wrapping an arm protectively around Kaoru.
Youko's eyes nearly bugged out. "What the HELL!?" He yelped, jabbing a finger into the air. "Himura?! Kao-chan!? Why the heck are you guys here!? Aren't you married yet!?"
Kenshin sweatdropped and Yusuke only snorted. "Ya know this nut?" Youko raised an eyebrow and shrugged in a defeatist manner.
"Yeah, Himura was my teach in senior year. He was supposed to get married to Kaoru over here."
Yusuke rolled his eyes. "Well from being with the dude for a while, I'd have to say he's pretty damn slow. I wouldn't be surprised if he never did it."
"Did what?!" Hiko retorted, now ignoring his sake jug only to come over and eye his pupil.
"Uh, didn't ya hear what I just said? That Himura was supposed to marry Kaoru."
Hiko's reply was of a robotic sort… "Whaaaaaaat…"
Youko raised an eyebrow quizzically. "Dude…are you trying to be Robot Krabs from that random Spongebob episode???"
Yusuke clapped hands together and shrieked in delight. "Oh MAN! That was freakin' hilarious. You mean the one where plankton made a robot of Krabs and went inside it? The one that changed into a toaster at will!?" "Yeah! That's the one!!"
Youko and Yusuke were about to high-five each other when suddenly, a small metal, object went crashed through one window and went zooming by their heads, knocking Youko out before it flew out the other window. Yusuke put on a very puzzled expression, stating, "Well, THAT was random... But, what the hell? It was Robot Krabs, so it's cool in my book!" Everyone in the car sweatdropped; Yusuke was on all their last nerves.
Hiei muttered, "Well, at least the baka ningen is knocked out...If only I could get my hands around Yusuke's throat..."
"Now, now," Kurama said, "You know Koenma would flip if you killed the Reikai Tantei." Hiei looked up at him surprisedly, not realizing anyone had heard his random angry grumblings. "And besides," Kurama continued, "We all know that you like to get 'lost in the moment' every once in a while." Hiei could only imagine that Kurama had once again begun his humiliating-Hiei-and-at-the-same-time-getting-him-some-from-Botan campaign by the devilish grin the pink-haired teen flashed him. "You know, you really should make sure you destroy all cameras in the vicinity before you decide to get wasted," Kurama said with an impish laugh as he flashed the dreaded pictures at Hiei.
Hiei suddenly got a very demonic idea, which was suiting, seeing as he was, in fact, a demon. He put on as innocent act as a demon could manage as he asked Kurama, "Oh, fox-boy, can I have a quick look at those pictures? I promise I won't destroy them."
Kurama looked as though to think for a moment, and for some reason, whether it was preoccupation or just sheer stupidity, he happily answered, "Sure!"
A/N: If you got confused with the Youko part...well that's natural, seeing how he's a character that belongs to me (Son Christine) and is introduced in a few of my fics. Besides, what would one more freak do on a train anyway? Hardly much. Please review!!
TheNautiDolphin & Son Christine