A/N: We're back and ready for more eye-popping wtfs! Enjoy!
"…What…is going on…over there…" Botan muttered, rousing from her state of sleep.
"It looks like to me that they're not fighting anymore but doing something else," Kenshin noted in a monotonous voice.
Yusuke glared at Botan. "Oh hey, I was wondering where you went off to. Say, speaking of the ability to conjure up random missing people, where'd Hiko go?" Kenshin had been contemplating the exact same thing not too long ago.
"If he's as smart as he probably thinks he is, he would have found a way to get off." Kaoru mused.
"Or maybe he's driving the train now…?" Youko suggested. There was a slight pause. "And I'm worrying about that WHY? Kami-sama! We've got the shortest attention spans in the world, people! Were there not JUST moans coming from Hiei and Kurama's car?"
Yusuke leapt up in delight. "I KNEW that there would be some sweet YAOI HENTAI ACTION! I said it before, remember?"
Kenshin and Kaoru rolled their eyes. "Yes we have not forgotten, that we have not…" Kenshin muttered, beginning a new search for the miracle pill called aspirin.
"Okay, so if they're really in there doing…um, that. We hafta catch them in the act!" Yusuke declared brilliantly.
"And the way to do that… is to use my baby!" The sounds of the two teen boys' hysterical laughter only made Botan waltz to the end of the car and try to lapse back into the sleep that she had experiencing prior to finding out about any moaning coming from the adjacent car. Youko readied his video camera, making sure that the tape was in the proper place for filming the dastardly woes of Kurama and Hiei.
"Hey check these out!" Yusuke squeaked, acquiring thick black sunglasses and putting them on as if he were an extra in the Matrix.
"For dramatic effect, right?" Youko grinned.
"Yup! Just call me AGENT TANTEI!"
Just as Yusuke was about to bust open the car door, exposing Hiei and Kurama's situation, the aforementioned pair walked into the car with mischievous grins on their faces."Hey!" Yusuke hollered, unable to blurt out anything else. "I was counting on some good yaoi hentai ACTION! Sheesh! Way to ruin everything!" And with this, the juvenile delinquent slumped down into a seat. Youko shrugged and sat down next to him. This only caused Hiei and Kurama's smiles to widen.
Botan asked the pair interestedly, "What're you two all smiley about! Do I even want to know what you two were up to in that car?"
"Oh, it was nothing..." Kurama said, leaving everyone else to wonder if this was really true.
"Nothing they won't find out soon enough," Hiei muttered, looking at Yusuke and Youko.
The two boys shrugged without a care in the world. "Meh, whatever, I lost interest anyways." Hiei rolled his ruby eyes distastefully as he allowed himself to wander aimlessly around the car.
"You know," Kurama started, "I was beginning to think why we have not even attempted to escape this train..." A chill settled over the hearts of the group.
"Well, why don't we look around or something?" Yusuke 'brilliantly' suggested, averting his eyes to nothing in particular.
"Maybe we should try and find out who is driving the train again..." Kenshin muttered under his breath. "I do think that it would help if we split up..." Kaoru smiled at him and clung onto his arm.
"...Eeeh, fine then! Pink head'll go with manic midget, Kaoru and Kenshin'll stay here and Youko and Yusuk'll do...something?" Sanosuke suggested. A disturbing silence shut him up. "Fine, I'll be right back...WITH a driver."
The group watched Sanosuke wander off into some other random car. "So..." Yusuke began, his ADD kicking in as the wall he was previously staring at had become too boring. "Are we gonna help him or what?" Everyone just looked back at him, dead to the world. "Jeez, guys, don't get too excited, or anything..."
Botan, who had so far gone pretty much unnoticed, announced to anyone who cared, "I'm going to help Sanosuke."
They turned around, not expecting any reaction, but unfortunately were greeted by Youko and Yusuke, who said they would be "glad to help... :cough: out." One resounding "NO!" and two large bumps on Yusuke's head later, she huffed out of the car as Youko shook with silent laughter. Between gasping breaths of air, he was able to get out, "And to think he mastered the Spirit Gun..." But before Yusuke was able to give Youko the whooping he apparently deserved, the car door opened, smacking Yusuke in the head and rendering him unconscious.
As Youko once again broke into a fit of laughter and everyone breathed out a sigh of relief that the pain-in-the-ass Tantei had finally shut up, Sanosuke appeared in the door wayhands in his pocket as he announced, "No driver. Which is kind of creepy, but I guess the train runs on its own as long as we don't hit anything. Or something like that. How should I know? I'm only nineteen and I spend a majority of my time getting wasted."
"Which isn't necessarily the wisest choice, that it isn't," Kenshin muttered, rubbing his temples in frustration.
Hiei clapped mockingly. "Hn, it looks like someone's on a short fuse." Kenshin glared offendingly at said midget™ but said nothing in his defense.
"I really do think that we should first try and wake Yusuke..." Everyone 'boo'ed at Kurama's evil suggestion and went about doing nothing in particular. "Okay then...well since Sanosuke-san has just informed us that there really ISN'T a driver in front, I think that we should ALL try and see what's going on... from there, I believe that we can find some way to get off this train without having anyone astray." Mutterings of consent followed the bishounen's statement and they promptly followed in a single line toward the front of the car, Kurama leading, Kenshin's hand latched onto Kaoru's, Youko still giddy from when Yusuke was knocked out, Sanosuke carrying Yusuke over his broad shoulder, Hiei striding forward with both hands in his pocket, and Botan ever tempted to jump into Hiei's arms since she really didn't like trains as it was. But she remembered the fact that he was a bloodthirsty youkai and decided to refrain from taking said leap.
Kurama suddenly twirled around once he reached the outside of theconductor's room. "One, two, three, four, five, six...seven..." Silence. "Wait a minute... where is Seijuuro-san!" Kurama cried. Instinctly sliding the heavy door open, his emerald eyes widened in shock, as well as twelve others (remember, Yusuke's out like a light). There, Kurama saw that there was a large hole adjacent to the drivers seat. The train had been torn open.
"Hiko left... through here...while the train stopped..." Kenshin seethed.
"Yup," everyone nodded.
Just then, before any one of the comedic hopefuls could open their mouths, the train came to a lurching stop as the lights flickered out and everyone flew forward. Kaoru would have fallen through the gaping hole, kimono, sandals, and all, if Kenshin hadn't used his god-like speed and reaction time to straddle the hole and catch her at the last moment. Just as the groupthought they had a one-way ticket to freedom in the form of one giant hole in the side of the train and the group started shoving Kenshin, carrying a fainted Kaoru, out of the way, a horrible sound of grinding, ripping metal made them all freeze in place, cringe, and cover their ears.
Those of them that could look up saw something that looked like giant fingers prying open the top of the train.Sanosuke's scream of "What the FUCK..?" was drowned out by the deafening sound of the train's greasy, metal ceiling giving way to bright blue skies. What seemed to be an enormous robot stood many feet above them appeared to be looking down at and studying the passengers. After a quick moment, the robot-thing accessed two ten-ton daggers from its sides and began to slash downward at the car.
"Omgomgomgomg, we're being attacked… Ooookay no big deal!" Youko cried, eyes widening as he proceeded to look around frantically. The rest of the group was also puzzled as to why they were being attacked all of a sudden. And to make matters worse, it seemed to be a gargantuan…robot…
"Hn, like this thing can intimidate me," Hiei snorted while folding his arms across his chest. "But it is welcome to try."
Kurama rolled his eyes distastefully. "I believe our top priority is getting out of here…" he paused and there was a short moment of silence, "…ALIVE!" His resounding command caused all persons in the car to leap out of the large hole in the side of the train so that they could escape the two ten ton daggers that just so happened to be impaling their car.
"It seems like every time I get stuck with people I don't know, I get migraines…" Botan groaned as she rummaged around in her purse for a bottle of aspirin. Kaoru nodded.
"Yo, Jou-chan that reminds me…what did you do with yours when we first got on this thing?"
"Now, now…can we get off this thing safely before we get our throats cut!" Youko cried again theatrically. Just as they were about to leap onto a different train for the sheer hell of it, the cockpit of the machine opened widely and out scurried three teens. "Oh great…" Kenshin muttered as he watched them walk in their direction. "More freaks…"
"Hey!"a rather angry looking youth with short silver hair called out to our favorite manslayer. "Who're you calling freaks! We happen to be highly-trained pilots genetically engineered to be better than ALL of you!"
Hiei was the only one who took an immediate liking to the stranger. "Finally! Someone who isn't a human-hugging idiot!"
"Now, now, Yzak," one of the other boys said, holding up a hand to quiet his angrier friend down. "I don't think that's a very nice way to introduce ourselves. By the way," he turned to face the strangers in front of him, "I'm Athrun. Athrun Zala." Botan, the only unattached female present, was heard swooning at the sheer good looks of the dark haired, green eyed hunk from Kami-knows-where.
"Quite the ladies man, aren't we today, Athrun," the third and final boy chided, stepping forward. "Last but not least, I'm Kira Yamato." He winked at Botan, apparently aware he was almost as attractive as his best friend. This time, Botan fainted.
Yusuke stepped over her limp form, approaching the trio. "Err…I guess you can join up with our group. If you want."
"Although that sounds exciting," Athrun said warily, "we are in desperate need of somewhere to hide…you see, our GUNDAM has a low power supply…"
"GUNDAM?" Kaoru inquired, clearly voicing the rest of the group's confusion.
"General Unilateral Neuro-link Dispersive Autonomic Maneuver," Kira interjected matter-of-factly, his words completely lost on everyone else.
"It sounds difficult, that it does," Kenshin said, his feelings reflected by everyone else.
"Well, not really," Kira began, but Athrun cut him off.
"I believe that these people are from a different time, before people lived in space."
Kira was astonished. "People were alive back then! Damn…I must have skipped over the grade where they taught us that!"
"Kuso, kuso, kuso, KUSO!" Yzak suddenly shrieked, startling everyone.
"Oh, no," Kurama said, looking towards the sky and realizing Yzak's reason for screaming profanity….
It was at that moment, unfortunately, that an approaching mobile suit had decided to wage war upon the poor unfortunates glaring up at said piece of machinery. "Double-sided barrels on the atomic-lateral portions of the Gundam. Quite a new model," Yzak mused before promptly throwing his hands up in the air. "What am I saying? We've gotta get out of here!"
"And it's not like these people understood you anyway!" Kira added.
"But where the hell are we supposed to go?" Youko cried, his histrionics almost dared to rival those of Yzak's. "All I see is another train! I mean, this IS a train station right? So our only ticket is—"
Hiei glared at his 'not-so-favorite-teen-of-the-year'. "Oh no, there's NO way in hell—"
Five minutes later…
"…I CAN'T believe we're in one of these again. Couldn't anyone think of a brilliant plan under pressure?" Hiei snarled, his katana at the ready.
Kira watched the fire demon with a certain interest. "Well, since I skipped over that grade, wanna tell me what it's like living without war and robots and, y'know…basically everything we depend on nowadays…" Kurama raised an eyebrow slowly.
"No effing way! No way! You guys are like aliens or something!" Yusuke shrieked, "I know how this is gonna turn out! You're gonna conjure up some straws or something and say that you wanna suck out our spleens! And then we'll be like 'Noooo, we're too stupid to beat you!' But not before getting your dog with three eyes to shrink us down to micro-size so you can step all over our bodies and--"
"Quite the colorful imagination," Athrun noted dully. "So what do you suppose we do Kira?"
"…comes out of a garbage can and…"
"Kira?" Athrun questioned.
"…and then we'll be like 'Judgment day is here!'"
"KIRA!" Athrun cried, glaring maliciously at the purple-eyed teen.
"Whaaat? Athrun, have a drink, sit down, do something! This story that this guy is telling is amazing!"
Everyone threw their arms up in defeat as Yusuke proceeded to yell at the coordinators while Athrun just smacked himself in the head. "This… this is going to be worse than ANY Earth Alliance encounter I've ever had before…"
"Just wait, it gets worse, that it does," Kenshin informed languidly.
A/N: Yet another chapter complete! And remember...Inuyasha used his Sankontessou to rip open the train before, so Hiko conveniently used that, as did everyone else. Hope you liked the chapter, even if you may have thought it weird. Please review!
The Jagans