A/N: I know that the chapters are kind of short, sorry about that and for the delay in the updates I really wanted to update this one sooner but a certain child had other plans for his mother other than writing. But thanks to everyone whose taken the time to review they are greatly appreciated, so please keep them coming.

Chapter 14: Healing Hearts

Abby managed to get some sleep that night, mostly from being exhausted from being up the night before and up all day with the baby. She had been almost afraid to go to sleep last night and yet tonight even with all her apprehensions she knew that Eryn was in good hands with the staff in the NICU, most off all she trusted Rebecca.

Trust was not something that you gave easily, especially when it came to your child. For Eryn was more precious to Abby now than anything else in her life. She would gladly trade her own for that of her daughter.

She woke up about 3 am with this sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach, surely if something had happened someone would have come and gotten her. Her first thought was to run to Eryn in the NICU but one whiff of herself changed her mind. She headed in and took a shower and brushed her teeth taking no time in lingering in the hot water, the longer she was awake the more that unmistakable feeling pulled at her.

She didn't have a change of clothes with her so she borrowed scrubs from the closet and not taking the time to grab a cup of coffee she headed for the NICU. There in the dimly lit room was Eryn laying on the baby warmer/bed with Rebecca keeping vigil by her side, just as she told Abby she would.

"You're up early." Rebecca said recognizing the outline of Eryn's mother standing there watching them both.

"I couldn't sleep anymore." Abby said as she took a couple of steps closer towards the baby and her nurse. "Thought that I would come and just check."

"I understand." Rebecca said giving her that soft smile of hers, "she's doing fairly well." She knew that Abby would want an update on her daughter so that's what she started to do, that and it made something of conversation for them. "She's still pretty touch and go, but as of right now it looks okay."

"Just okay." Abby said as she reached down and touched the baby's hand.

"Dr. Winters was here about an hour ago and so was Dr. Simmons, they are going to be coming back in about an hour." She said not taking her eyes off what she was doing right now, "Eryn's output is not what we would like to see and she's not getting the oxygen that we would like her to either right now. They've made some minor adjustments and if her output doesn't improve they are going to call in the pediatric urologist to take a look at her."

"That doesn't sound good." Abby replied.

"Well it's not good, but it's not bad either." Rebecca said to her now. "It's a balancing act with these little ones and sometimes what we try on the first attempt isn't what they like, it's just a matter of finding what works for Eryn."

"I know," Abby said with a sigh. She just wanted things to be okay, that was really all she wanted and she knew how fragile such small lives were but right now it was all up to Eryn on how she recovered and how fast she recovered.

When Rebecca finished writing she looked over at Abby, "do you want to get some coffee and something to eat or would you like me to pull a chair over for you?"

"A chair would be nice." Abby said running her hands through her hair.

Rebecca moved over to pull another chair over for Abby to sit in as they both started in on a long Eryn vigil. While Rebecca's shift would be over in a few hours, Abby would be left there sitting with her daughter watching the shifts change and people come and go.

"Dr. Winters should be here soon." Rebecca said patting Abby's hand. "I know it's hard to sit and wait but right now that's the best that we can do. She knows you're here with her and that helps."

"You're right." Abby said running out of things to say, answers when people told her that. She didn't know how many more times she could take being told that they had to wait and see, that time was not only on their side but an enemy as well.

This was something that you thought only happened to other people and their children, not something that would ever happen to one of your own. You held them close to your heart never wanting them to stray far and god forbid anything every happened to them, because once you had them, held them in yours arms with out them there you were lost. Yet lost was how Abby felt right now. Her daughter laid there where she could see her and touch her but yet there was still that longing in her arms that only holding Eryn could satisfy.

She thought about her life before her little girl and it seemed now to be lacking that something had been missing that this child managed to bring her. She knew in her heart what that was, it was the unconditional love that only a child could give to you, even this small that was the one thing that she knew she had Eryn's unconditional love. The same love that she felt for her, for no matter what happened or what Eryn did in her life, the one thing, the one simple thing that would always be there was the love that Abby as her mother felt for her and could give to her.

She watched now the tiny rise and fall with each burst of air that went into Eryn's chest, the constant beep of the monitor as her heart rate and her oxygen levels were monitored. The sounds of the NICU had become their lullabies, not the one that Abby would have chosen, but it was theirs still the same.

"Abby I brought you some coffee." A voice from behind her pulled her attention away from her thoughts. She turned to see Susan standing there in the night light of the NICU.

"Thanks," she said with her tired smile, that was the smile that would be on her face from now until Eryn turned 18 and then it probably still would be there. For Abby knew that you never stopped worrying about them.

"How are you doing?" Susan asked, she could clearly see how the baby was doing and she had popped into the NICU once before. Carter had been giving them regular updates on the baby when he was working. She looked as horrible as he did, the time in the hospital starting to take it's toll on both of them.

Having a child in the NICU was never as easy thing. The constant worry and short nights slowly wore away at you. Susan knew that neither Carter nor Abby had left the hospital in days and probably would be there for several more depending on how Eryn did no one there had been able to convince them to do otherwise and they all knew that arguing with them wouldn't get anyone anywhere.

"I'm doing okay." Abby answered as honestly as she could.

"Do you want me to bring you anything?" Susan asked sympathetic of her friends needs, "maybe a change of clothes from your apartment, some non hospital food?"

Abby looked at her for a minute, "clothes would be nice." She said as she looked down at the borrowed scrubs that she was wearing. "I forgot to ask Carter to."

"It's okay I can do it for you." Susan said giving her a smile.

They both walked over to the nurses' station, Abby could still see Eryn there but they could sit down and talk and Abby could have her cup of coffee there.

"I really appreciate that." Abby said taking a sip of the burning hot liquid.

"I know you do. Have you gotten any sleep?" There was a hint of concern in Susan's voice that she tried unsuccessfully to hide.

"A little," Abby said, "I laid down around 7 or 8 and slept until about 3 or so."

That was better than the answer that Susan was expecting from Abby and it gave her some relief to know that Abby was at least getting some rest. "That's good." Susan said, "I thought I'd come and see you on my break."

"Carter working?" It was easy to lose track of time when you were there, everything seemed to blur together for time either passed very slowly or it went to fast depending on what you were hoping for.

"No he's asleep in an exam room." She said, "I made him take a nap he looked horrible when he came on."

"I appreciate that too Susan." Abby replied, "I don't need to be worrying about him too."

"That you don't have to." Susan laughed softly, "there's an entire ER down there that is doing that for you, don't worry Abs, well take good care of Carter, you just need to take care of you. I can't keep an eagle eye on you when you're up here."

Abby couldn't help but roll her eyes at that one. "Don't worry Susan I am taking good care of myself and I'm sure that Rebecca won't let me get to run down. As long as she's around at night I might take a few more cat naps depending on what Miss Eryn decides to do."

Susan stood up to leave now as her break was nearly over. "I know you will Abby." Susan said, "I'd better get back down there so Carter can keep taking his nap and no one bug him for anything. And I'll send him up with something that you both can eat for breakfast when his shifts over."

"Thanks Susan." Abby said as she watched her friend leaving the NICU and she returned to her spot next to Eryn. Abby was anxious for the doctors to do rounds so that she could have a clearer picture of what was going on with Eryn.