Chapter 3: Wedding night

Sakura hurried in order to catch up to Sasuke. He had not bothered to wait for her after Tsunade had detained her. She caught up to him and said with fake cheerfullness, "What are we going to do, now that we are married?"

He threw her a scornful glance and decided not to answer her question. It felt very strange. The realization that she was now married to the man of her dreams had not sunk in yet. Of course, she had imagined this day to be a little different in her childish daydreams.

She reached for his hand and he let her take it. "Sasuke," she said seriously. "I do not expect you to play the loving husband. But I want you to talk to me. If something bothers you or if I am a burden to you, just tell me. We're married. I would like to get to know the real you. I want to know everything about you."

Before he could reply, a malicious voice said: "Well, isn't that nice? I didn't expect to see you two holding hands in public."

Sakura tried not to lose control. Why did her eternal rival for Sasuke's love have to show up right here and now? WHY? So far Ino had left her alone, even after the rumors about their engagement had spread throughout the village, but it was most likely time for the confrontation. "Hello, Ino" she said curtly.

"When I heard that you two got engaged I couldn't believe it," Ino hissed. "Congratulations, Sakura. What were you doing at Tsunade's office? Making plans for the wedding already?" Her tone of voice betrayed her feelings, she was obviously jealous.

"Actually…" Sakura murmured uncertainly and held up her hand, showing her rival the silver ring. "We just got married." Ino grew pale. Sakura would have gladly enjoyed this small triumph over her old enemy, but there was still no word from Sasuke, and she knew that as soon as Ino would address him, he would ruin her victory and show Ino what this marriage was all about.

Ino regained her composure and stammered, "I can't believe it! You're joking, right? Sasuke, tell me this isn't true!"

Sakura bit her lower lip when Sasuke opened his mouth to answer. He let go of her hand and she expected the worst. But instead of giving Ino an impatient answer, he put an arm posessively around Sakura's waist and said, "We got married a few minutes ago." He looked at Sakura. "Sakura-chan, can we go home? I would like to spend some time alone with you." Sakura could not believe it. She stared at him with her mouth wide open, but she regained her composure quickly enough when she saw the hilarious expression on Ino's face. She tried to stifle a laugh as they walked past her former rival.

When they were out of earshot, Sasuke quickly let go of her and shove his hands back into his pockets. Sakura didn't understand what just happened. Why did Sasuke do that? Why did he play the loving husband all of a sudden? It was almost frightening to see how easily he acted as the affectionate lover if he wanted to. It was weird, because in front of Tsunade he had clearly shown his intentions and feelings toward Sakura.

Thus, Sakura took the only explanation she found. She smiled shyly at him. "Thank you, Sasuke-kun. For not making me look bad in front of Ino, but also… for…. I mean… nevermind."

He frowned at her and said: "I'm off for training."

She watched him leave. He was a mystery; he had not tried to get even a little closer to her.

As it slowly darkened outside, Sakura stood before the mirror, but this time not to check whether she looked good enough or anything. She just stared at herself in the mirror. Nothing had changed. She still looked like she had before; the only difference was that she was no longer smiling. "Uchiha…. Sakura…" she said quietly to herself. Not long ago she would secretly mouth these two words and be pleased because they would sound so beautiful. Now her new name had a strange feeling to it.

While Sasuke had been training, Sakura had spend her day gathering the rest of her things from home and bringing them to his apartment, unpacking them and trying to make herself comfortable in this new place. She could not imagine to ever be able to feel at home in these sterile rooms.

'Now stop moping already!!', inner Sakura screamed. She had been wondering when her inner voice would announce itself again. 'You did it! You are married to SASUKE, so don't make a face like you just signed your death sentence! Sasuke asked you and no one else! That means you must be important to him! Everything else will be alright eventually!'

She laughed. Finally a positive thought, the first in days.

The smile disappeared from her face as she heard the door slam shut. Sasuke had returned. She was almost scared. Not of him, but of this night. Wedding night… would he, no, could he be affectionate at all? Although he did not feel anything for her?

She remained in front of the mirror nervously and tried to make herself a little pretty for him. She wanted to please him. As she brushed through her hair, she heard him in the bedroom... maybe he was getting changed.

Then the door opened. Sakura calmly stopped. In the mirror she watched as he approached her and stood behind her, as usual an illegible expression on his face. Sakura simply stared at him. He really looked very, very handsome, with his black eyes and the raven hair, contrasting his pale skin. Back then she had fallen in love with these dark eyes. Then they had been placed on the same team and another feeling had emerged. She had fallen in love with him for a second time, with a boy who appeared cold and distant, but on the inside was warm-hearted and loyal.

What was still remaining from this Sasuke? The fight against his brother had changed him drastically. Beneath his mask of pride even she could not discover his caring side any longer. What was left was only what she had fallen in love with at the very beginning… was that really enough? Would it be enough for her to go through with this?

"Sakura," he said with that voice of his, sounding so much more mature than he looked. She knew what he wanted. After all, this was the reason why he had married her. She did not react. Even as he embraced her from behind, she just watched him mutely through the mirror. He brushed away her long hair and kissed her neck, but his eyes were open and he was staring into the distance. It was as if he was just completing an uncomfortable, but necessary exercise. Sakura fought back the tears.

She did not know whether he noticed or not, but in any case he stopped suddenly and looked into her eyes. "Sakura, do you really want this? I cannot and will not force you into anything."

It was too late to back down. She had given him a promise and felt constrained. She had never been able to assist him in battle, but this way she could at least help him to fulfill his dream. "I have just one request, Sasuke-kun," she said, taking his hand in hers. "Please pretend that you care for me."

Sasuke nodded and his black hair fell into his face. Sakura gave up staring into the mirror and turned around to face him. She unbuttoned her dress and slid it over her shoulders. He let his gaze wander over her nearly naked body but his eyes showed no reaction. Sakura lifted her arm and with trembling fingers she brushed one lock of his hair behind his ear. He smelled wonderful. She was pretty sure that he hadn't been training today.

She pulled his shirt over his head and stopped for an instant to admire his bare torso. Sakura knew that he was muscular, but his body showed almost none of it. Sasuke was already nineteen but he seemed almost childlike. He was still missing the male, muscular look which distinguished him from the adult Shinobi. Only his eyes disagreed with his young age and told of how much he had experienced during his few years in this world.

There was a tight feeling in her chest. It was a feeling of… compassion, she decided. He had gone through so much more than she could ever imagine. She couldn't resent him for having become the person he was now. What she felt at that moment was not love but sympathy. Maybe it would be enough for her to keep her promise.

Shyly she placed her hand against his cheek and kissed him tenderly. Then she took his hand and pulled him towards the bedroom. She couldn't look him in the eyes any longer for fear that he would see the sympathy in her eyes and hate her for it. Her hand moved to turn off the lights and she relaxed when grey twilight filled the room.

She heard the rustle of clothes as he undressed, and she slipped out of her underwear as well. Under different circumstances, she might have been concerned whether she would look good enough for him or not. That was irrelevant now. He did not care about her looks; all he wanted was a child, an heir. He led her to the bed and pressed her into the cushions with a passionless kiss. She was scared... this was what she had thought about all day long. It was about to happen, and she still wasn't sure whether she really wanted this or not.

He positioned himself over her and nudged her legs apart with his knee, kneeling between her thighs. She was glad that it was too dark for him to see the redness on her face. His hands roamed over her body inexperiencedly, settling at her full breasts after a while, and eventually she could feel his arousal against her thigh. He kissed her with his mouth open and once again she received the impression that he had only done it because he thought that he had to. She still wasn't able to relax, let alone draw any pleasant feeling from this; Sasuke was closer to her than ever before, yet it was like being touched by a stranger. Actually, he was a stranger. She did not know a thing about him; this man who had returned from the battle against Itachi was a stranger to her. She grasped the bedsheets and tried to swallow the fear that crept up from her stomach. He positioned himself between her legs and an unexpected, violent pain shot through her lower half as he penetrated her with a swift movement. She cried out in pain, her hand clamping down on his naked shoulder. He paused and she was thankful that he was at least considerate enough to wait until she had gotten accustomed to the strange sensation.

When the pain had subsided a bit and she had calmed down, he began to move again. It hurt. Not enough to make her cry, but it was definitely unpleasant. She said nothing though, wanting to get this over with. The pain subsided with time, but she felt neither arousal nor any other positive emotion that she had expected based on what Ino had told her about her first time.

Sakura heard the crushing silence of the room clearly, accompanied from time to time by his heavy breathing. She saw him above herself, noting the way strands of his black hair would move in his rhythm and almost touch her face. His skin still felt cool to the touch, only visible by the faint light of the moon which plastered shadows on his pale skin. He was beautiful, but although he was closer to her than any man had been before, he was somewhere far away with his thoughts. What does he think about while he sleeps with me?

He opened his eyes for a brief moment. Their eyes met. There was no passion in his gaze and she was surprised that he was able to sleep with her at all if he felt nothing for her. Almost as if he had read her thoughts, his hand brushed over her chest. His other hand, placed on the bed next to her head, supported his weight, and her gaze traced along his arm, seeing how his muscles flexed beneath his perfect skin. She could no longer bear to look into his face, which reflected nothing but emptiness.

She turned her head to the side, looking over to the window. A few stars shone in the sky, which was still a faint pink on the horizon and only slowly became black. It could not have been long ago that the sun had set.

Sasuke lowered his head and emitted a gasp between clenched teeth. He let himself sink down onto her and sighed quietly. Sakura was still staring out of the window. So this was it. What a weird feeling. Sasuke rolled himself off of her, rose from the bed and disappeared into the bathroom. Sakura wrapped the blanket around herself and went over to the window. Somehow she felt… dirty. Why did she ever allow him to do this to her? She felt like a cheap slut.

While Sasuke took his time in the shower, she watched the stars. Strangely enough, she no longer felt sad. In her head there was just… silence. Even the inner Sakura was silent. She knew she wouldn't find any sleep tonight.

When Sasuke returned and silently laid back down, Sakura had already gotten dressed into her nightgown. She slipped beneath the covers and the room was filled with silence once again. She stared at the ceiling as she lay there beside the man of her dreams, feeling lonelier than ever. For the first time there was the sickening thought that she had made a huge mistake to marry Sasuke. She was going to be just as lonely as him, even though they officially were a family now.

…tbc…

Well, I decided to upload the complete chapter 3. A long time ago I removed a part of it, because one of my stories was banned from FFnet, due to "inapppropriate content". Well, here you have it. As you can see, it's not porn, it's not even too graphic, but my other story that was banned was just like this. Maybe those american idiots who think banning fanfiction might save their children from... whatever... will change their mind once again, but until then, I'll have this chapter up as it is.