Confusion and Confessions
Breakup #2: Rory's POV
Disclaimer: I own nothing…though I really don't want to bother you with that sob story now.
A/N: This is my first fanfiction. Read the author's note at the end of the story. Please and thank you. Enjoy
Summary: I suck at summaries and there's really nothing to summarize though the basic idea is that this is my take on Rory's POV in "They Shoot Gilmores, Dont They?" when Dean broke up with her...for the second time. It starts when there is 1 hour left of the marathon. There is a smallmissing scene and this is a one-parter...I think...ya. (Very sorry, that summary made me want to puke too.)
She moved her feet idly wanting this night to be over. It wasn't so much that she couldn't stand dancing another second as it was she couldn't stand seeing this boy with dark hair sitting in front of her switching between reading, staring with scrutiny and intensity at her, and practically eating Shane. Her mouth went bitter at the mere thought of that name.
Jess's eyes were currently darting across the pages book and Rory glared at him, though it transformed into hard stare. Her thoughts came in a mix of emotions she was yet to figure out. Her eyes were fixed on him. She then noticed his clothes, they were casual though nice. Not the usual band t-shirt, but a dark gray button-down. No matter what he wore it always fit him pretty much perfectly...just then she mentally slapped herself. What am I doing in my boyfriend's arms even thinking about Jess! Dean loves me and here I am thinking about how good Jess looks in his clothes! Oh god, it sounds even worse when I think about it like that. I don't care the least for Jess. He could start screwing Shane right there on the bleachers and I wouldn't give a damn! She got that bitter taste in her mouth again, except more intense. She remembered the bra in the backseat of Jess's car and she began glaring again with attempted hatred.
Her irritation got the best of her just then. He's still there. He's still there! He's still there! "He's still there." She now vocalized to dean, anger resonating in her tone.
"What?" Dean said obviously not understanding.
"Jess. He's still there. I can't believe he's still there." Who else is would stillbe there! 23 hours! GOD!
"Just ignore them."
Pssh! As if it's that easy! "Yeah. You know, this is a dance marathon. You're not supposed to come and sit and watch, you're supposed to dance. He's just trying to bug me, sitting there right in front of me, staring. Jerk." Humongous jerk. Self-centered, egotistical, pompous, stupid… Deep down she knew he wasn't any of those things, especially not stupid. She continued to force herself to glare and think less than flattering thoughts about him, most resulting in the end as jerk, when Shane spoke which put a new series of angry thoughts in her head.
"I'm bored," Shane said which earned her probably the coldest of the glares yet from Rory.
Tough luck blondie…
Now it was Jess who spoke. He simply said "Okay"
The response annoyed her greatly. She was about to give herself a second mental slap for caring about this matter when Jess crashed his lips to Shane's. He's doing this on purpose! This is driving me insane! He can do better than that slut! She looked at Shane with absolute loathing and then at Jess with a twinge of pain that was easily masked by anger."There they go again! God, I swear, why can't they just get a room? Or forget a room – get a park bench, or a doorway, or even a strategically placed telephone pole would probably suffice. I mean, girls like Shane – what is it with them? Don't they see what they look like? I know they have mirrors."
"Hey, you talking about me?" Jess piped in after hearing her rant.
"No." Your lip ornament, not you.
"I heard you mention Shane."
You heard right though I still don't see how that supports your accusation in any way. "Shane isn't you."
"Shane concerns me," his arm around Shane as he spoke, anger peaking in Rory.
"Shane concerns me, too – and all women, for that matter." And yes, she does concern you because the very fact you'd date someone like…well…HER, makes you just as big disgrace as Shane. Though she didn't say that because she knew he would see through her to a feeling she is guilt-ridden and pretty much ashamed to have…jealousy.
"You got a problem here?"
"Nope. Just a little sick of seeing the two of you sitting there. If you're not gonna participate, then why don't you just leave?"
"That works for me. Let's go," Shane said rolling her eyes about to get up.
Shut up Shane. The question was not directed at you.
"No." Jess spoke with bluntness that didn't receive response from Shane.
"Why not?" Don't you think you've been here long enough? Haven't you driven me mad enough?
"Because I'm not ready to go," he said with the same bluntness.
"Oh really?" How much trouble is it to pick up your jacket and leave? What does he want from me? Though, she had a reasonable guess. It was really the same thing she wanted from him; to really know the other's feelings.
"Yes, really. I'm gonna sit here as long as I like, and I'm gonna do whatever I like, and if you don't like it, then just ignore me and pay attention to your boyfriend" The tone he said 'boyfriend' with was a match to the bitter taste she got whenever she thought of Shane. She might've been imagining it, though she thought she saw a twinge of pain in those intense brown eyes.
"Sorry, she can't. I'm not her boyfriend anymore." This time it was Dean who spoke and his words kicked her in the stomach and made her forget all previous thoughts.
I'm probably imagining this…why…how come… "What?"
"You know, I tried to ignore this. I really did, but I don't know what the hell I was thinking." His voice was rising and Rory held back the tears welling in her eyes. She was being dumped and Jess, Shane, and the remainders of the gymnasium were here to watch it.
"What are you talking about?" It's a lot less painful to act clueless. The less pain the less chance of crying. I am NOT going to cry in front of…Jess. No, no, no! This is not what I should be worried about in the middle of my boyfriend breaking up with me.
"You don't wanna be with me, Rory."
"Yes, I do." I have no idea what to say to him. I'll just deny it all, pretend…
"Oh, please! You've been into him since he got to town, and I have spent weeks – months, actually – trying to convince myself that it wasn't true, that everything was fine between us. But now I know that I was an idiot. You're into him and he's into you, and Shane, who by the way, should be listening to this 'cause it's so damn obvious" His voice carried anger, hurt, sadness, and the brutality of the truth.
"What's obvious? What did I do?" Hold back the tears and play clueless. Who am I kidding? I'm everything Dean says I am and worse. He doesn't even know about me going to New York and the wedding kiss and he is still so right. I'm TERRIBLE. All I can do is feel guilt, I can't even feel regret because I was happy about both of those!
"Everyone can see, Rory! Everyone. And I'm tired, but I'm over it, so go ahead, go. Be together. There's nothing standing in your way now, 'cause I'm out." With this he left the gymnasium.
It's over. I can't believe it. No, I can. He didn't even expect me to stop him, which isn't nearly as bad as me not once attempting to stop him. I questioned, played dumb, and did everything else but stop him. I could still go. Though I'm not moving for an attempt, WHY AREN'T I?
Through the corner of her eye she looked at the reason, though she didn't let him see it. He stared at her with a deep gaze, concern in his eyes. That's why. Taylor's voice was chiding her through a megaphone to get off the dance floor from somewhere in the gymnasium so she walked out, expressionless because there were too many emotions in her right now to even wear one. She knew where she was headed. The only other person to who this place belonged to was and is on her mind...a little short of constantly.She got a pleasant feeling in her stomach whenever she saw him, though the pangs of guilt he was makin her feel in her stomach right now were far from.
Rory walked slowly to the bridge. She sat down replaying the picnic in her mind. Every conversation with him was replaying in her mind, the moments that lead her to an assumption that was shattered when she saw Shane. Now she really wanted to know. Does he like me? He's so hard to read. I want, I need, to know if he like me. Though she knew if it was up to her if he liked or not, that it would be an easy decision which way she would have it. Newpangs of guilt hit her with these thoughts. Dean. I have to apologize, I hurt him so bad. Sometime, I will apologize for hurting him.
Just then she felt eyes on her. She knew the creator of her guilt is here. Despite her telling him to go away all night, she was somewhat glad that he was here. She wanted to know what he honestly thought.
"Dean's a jerk. Yelling at you like that, breaking up in front of everybody…the guy's a total jerk." Jess watched her, waiting for reaction. She stared at her reflection in the water. She then met his eyes. The concerned brown met a wet blue.
You being there just made it all the more humiliating, though it's not like he was making that stuff up, right? "No, he's not. He's right. Everything he said. All those things about you and me, all those things about me lying to him, and messing with his head. He was right." Silence. Okay, so was I the one who was imagining it all? Wasn't there something? "Well, wasn't he?" Her heart skipped a beat. Anger and sadness were flowing through her. So I guess everything…you, me…I'm the idiot here. "Fine, he was right about me, then. Now go away."
"He was right…about all of it." This sent a guilty flutter through her stomach. She gazed up at his dark mess of hair and handsome features then she looked him in the eye.
I wasn't imagining it all. She took his words in. "So, what now?"
"You're definitely broken up with Dean?" He asked even though he was pretty sure what the answer would be. Though, he wasn't going to take a chance if Rory and Dean were going to get back together by tomorrow morning.
"Yeah, I'm definitely broken up with Dean." Rory didn't have as hard a time excepting this as she thought she really should.
"Okay. I have to go take care of something then." He turned around and walked away.
Rory watched him walk away. She knew there was a silent agreement on what just happened. Rory wanted to run after him even though she had a good idea of what he was going to do. She still wanted to go after him and kiss him, except this time she wouldn't pull away when it got intense. The guilt came back at this thought. Her guilt and happiness clashed leaving her in mass confusion.
One tear fell, and then another. Soon, the waterworks began. She let them flow freely. She needed to get the out of her system and for the wetness building in her eyes to come out. She got up and fast walked to the gymnasium where her mom was. She needed her mom's comfort, someone who will embrace her and ask questions later.
The tears clouding her vision caused her to bump into someone outside the gymnasium. "Sorry," she muttered. She then looked up at who she bumped into and saw Shane mumbling something. She was storming off in a huff. Beneath the tears she felt satisfaction because she knew the slut had just been dumped. She entered the gymnasium and saw her mom looking around. She slowed her walk and took her moms embrace more than willingly. Rory heard her mom say something comforting though she didn't pay attention through her small sobs. Thoughts and truth flooded over her all at once. Dean…hurt…over…guilty…Jess…bridge…together…finally.
A/N: So what do you think? It wasn't spectacular, just a one-part rewrite, so I'm well aware this isn't the best. Some will like it (hopefully), some won't, though either way I'm really interested in knowing what you think. As I have mentioned before this is my first so I'm just testing how I do. I babble a lot before I get to the point so now I'll get to it. Please provide constructive criticism and ideas for future writing. Tell the TRUTH of what you really think of this story. If you read this and oblige I'll be very grateful. Thank you.