(chapter 2)
Like A First Year Girl

Wow... it's been forever since I posted on this! Thanks again to my beta, Jackie! And to all the reviewers (see bottom)! You guys rock my socks... lol...
Here goes...

Sirius' POV

Discovering Easy Cheese was the best thing that ever happened to me. Who would've ever thought to put cheese in a can? I think muggles have a lot to teach wizard kind… Moony's mum just happens to be muggle-born, and I just happened to raid Moony's mail from this morning; he was still in the Hospital Wing, so he couldn't get it himself. Actually, he should be back to the dorm any minute.

I've always known that I hold a special place for cheese in my heart - er… stomach. I knew from the first time I went to Diagon Alley with my cousin Andromeda and bought cheese-flavored ice cream at Florean Fortescue's. In fact, cheese plays a major role of one of my many mottos: Everything tastes better with cheese.

"Prongs, mate, would you do me a favor and toss me the crackers?" James was spreading peanut butter over his crackers, instead of cheddar Easy Cheese like myself.

"Sure."

"Thanks. You know, James, I've put a lot of thought into this, and I've finally decided that cheese and crackers are the best combination of all time." It's true; nothing tops cheese and crackers.

"I beg to differ, Padfoot. Peanut butter and chocolate are the best combination of all time."

Now James has some pretty outrageous ideas sometimes, but he's never topped this one.

"You're crazy."

"No, I'm not. You seem to forget that I won our last food-related argument. Everything tastes good with peanut butter, and chocolate is certainly no exception." James feels the same way about peanut butter as I do about cheese. I'm surprised our friendship has survived this long with that major conflict sitting right smack dab in the middle of it.

"You did not win that argument."

"Did, too!"

"I found two things that don't taste good with peanut butter, and you found two things that don't taste good with cheese. It was a tie."

As much as it pains me to admit it, there are, indeed two things that just don't mix with cheese. Sugar cookies and peanut butter. But there are two things that don't mix with peanut butter, as well. Turkey and Cheese. I'm sure I could think of more if I put my mind to it, though. It's a little ironic, I think, that our two favorite foods don't mix, yet James and I get along so well. At least that's what Remus says.

"Sirius, I won and you're just too much of a sore loser to admit it!"

I can't let James get away with that, now can I?

It's absolutely amazing how much sound a pillow to the face can muffle. It amazes me, as well, how James can appear so charming to the ladies – excluding Lily – yet look so horrible when a simple change is made to his face. I'm sure I would still look simply ravishing hanging upside down with cheese all over my face.

"Sirius Black! Put me down before I tell Remus you ate all his cheese!"

"I didn't eat all of it!" There's still a little left… Enough for a couple of crackers.

"Then put me down before I tell Remus you ate most of his cheese. He's not going to be too happy with you-"

Speaking of the werewolf… I wonder how scared he was when he walked in to the lovely little scene.

"Heya, Remus!" I said, a little too excitedly to be believable to most people, but Moony is gullible.

"Hey to you, too, Sirius!" I hate it when he gives me that I'm-pretending-to-be-excited look. Maybe he's not so gullible after all. Oops… Peter is the gullible one. "This is such a nice little… exhibit for me to come back from the Hospital Wing, to, huh? I mean, what guy wouldn't love to see his friends eating his food and fighting like first year girls?" He chuckled. I hate that chuckle, too, the I'm-brushing-this-off-because-they're-weird chuckle.

"Ahhh! Help!" James has such a girly scream, especially when an owl is attacking his cheese-covered face.

"James, I think Lily has trained her owl to hate you just as much as she does. Speaking of your redheaded goddess, have you talked to her about the map that you lost? Hopefully we'll get it back." Redheaded goddess? Must be something between James and Moony…

"Tell Sirius to let me down and I'll tell you." Why do I have to let him down? He can tell Moony from where he's at.

"Let him down, Padfoot." They didn't say I had to let him down easy…

"OUCH! Sirius that hurt! You could've had me land on my bed or something!"

"Yeah… I could have. But where's the fun in that?"

Lily's owl just flew out the window. I wonder what it was doing here in the first place… "Pick that letter up, Prongs." Stupid owl dropped the letter on the floor…

"What does it say?" Remus asked.

"I don't know yet! I haven't even opened it!" James is touchy. "Remus, could you get this cheese off my face, which, by-the-way Sirius stole from your mum's package this morning."

"Scourgify," Moony said. And I was enjoying that cheesed-over look on James! "Ah… it's okay. We both know how Sirius gets when cheese is around." Yes! I win again…

"Read the letter to us, Prongs. It's from Lily's owl. It could be a letter proclaiming her undying love for you!" James hates it when I mock him like that. That would be the number one reason why it's so much fun!

And Remus makes the lovely situation even more amusing. "Or she could just be chewing you out about getting her in detention and tickling her. But hopefully it's about a spare bit of parchment she found on the floor – you know, the one we worked hard on just for you to lose it - and she's wanting to return it, but I doubt that." Wow… Remus sure can make people feel guilty when he wants to.

James face went all white. This can't be good! Well, his face could be white because Lily professed her love, but I don't think it's that. It's got to be something bad…

"Give me that letter." I know snatching the letter right out of his hand wasn't the nicest thing to do, but I'd have had to wait forever to read it if I hadn't.

Marauders:

Farah and I have come across a most remarkable item. It appears to me that Mr. Potter dropped his map during detention. Yes, we know all about the Marauder's Map. Meet Farah and I at the Three Broomsticks at nine tomorrow night. We can discuss the… terms on which your map can be returned. And I would not suggest staying in your dorm for very much longer, for reasons that will stay unknown to you.

- Lily Evans

Merlin. Lily Evans has got my life in her hands, and I wouldn't put it past her to chop it in half and put it through the grinder. I'm doomed.

Lily's POV

I never really realized how smart I am, how utterly clever I happen to be, until I managed to hack into the Marauder's Map. Yes, that's what the guys called it – the Marauder's Map. How original…

The password fit them perfectly. 'I solemnly swear I am up to no good.' Only James and Sirius would think of that.

As much as I hate to admit it, though, it wasn't completely my genius that got Farah and I into the map. But Farah doesn't need to know that; it's much more fun to let her think I figured it out on my own. Tricking poor, gullible Peter – I've always wondered clumsy Peter fits in with the other Marauders – into telling me the password wasn't very difficult at all. And a simple memory charm made sure he can't let it slip to Farah that he's the reason I can now work the Marauder's Map.

Farah's POV

Lily Evans is my hero. I think I'll get a shirt printed with that… I can't believe she got the Marauder's Map to work. I knew we'd get it eventually, but I didn't think it would be the very next day!

I've got to take some credit for myself, though. I'm the genius behind the blackmail letter, and I'm the one that figured out the best way ever to use the map.

Lily and I are meeting the Marauders in Hogsmeade tomorrow night, but we've still got the rest of today, and tonight to have fun with the Marauder's Map for ourselves. "They haven't left the dorm yet, Lily?"

"Nope."

"Oh." We've been watching the map for an hour now, ever since Lily sent the letter to the boys' dorm with her owl. They haven't left yet! Any sane person would drop that letter and run out of that dorm as soon as they'd read it. But I suppose it wouldn't make any sense to assume that the Marauders are sane.

"They're leaving!"

Finally… "Let's go, then."

Remus' POV

"You're not leaving yet, Sirius! Just stay still!" I don't care if Lily and Farah really did put some kind of trap in here. "We're not running off like a bunch of little girls. We're staying right here for a while, just to prove we're not sissies." Sissies? Why did I use the word sissies? I think the lycanthrope is getting to me…

"Yes, sir, captain, sir!" James looks like such an idiot when he salutes like that. As if he could ever pass for a soldier!

You never really know how strange your friends are until you have nothing to do but watch them. Sure, I knew that Sirius was obsessed with cheese, but I've never before noticed the euphoric look that somes over his face while he's eating it. He looks like a lost puppy now, though, because he just ate the last bit of it.

James looks like he's about to cry. He tries to pretend it doesn't hurt him when Lily isn't exactly civil to him, but it does. Myself, being so wise, can see right through his little charade.

Chunky little Peter cracks me up. He came in about fifteen minutes after we read the letter, and looked completely confused at all of us sitting on our beds, quiet and subdued. But then I guess anybody would be puzzled at Padfoot not talking; it's not like that happened very ofteb. I handed him the letter. Peter wears his emotions on his sleeve. You can tell what he's thinking at a glance. I myself prefer to be more a more reserved and serene person. I don't like letting people know what I'm thinking – it's a sign of weakness.

I'm going to explode any minute now. I can't take doing nothing anymore. "Let's go, guys."

"Finally, Moony! I was wondering how long you could sit there before you cracked. I was thinking about all the things the girls could do with the map, and trust me, Moony – they weren't comforting thoughts." Good of ol' Sirius to lighten the mood… He's such an idiot.

So we walked out of the dorm. James looks really pale; I guess that's just when he's nervous.

Lily's POV

One would think that jumping out at people when they turn corners is a bit immature. I did, when Farah suggested doing it, but I have completely changed my mind now that I've done it. Five times in one day already! You'd think they'd head back to their dormitory rather then scream like girls when we say "boo".

"Where are they, Lily?"

"Two hallways down. I think they're heading this way."

"Okay."

"What do you think about trying something a little different this time?" Another brilliant plan, coming right up…

"That would depend on what that something different is." Farah's lying. It doesn't depend on what it is at all. She'll do anything to hear them scream again. I think she's developed an addiction to it…

"Well… I know we've got memories of these little incidents, but I think the Marauders could do with some physical scars." I'm such a mastermind. Now to figure out what those physical scars should -

"That sounds great, Chumpkin, but I've got a better idea." I wish she'd quit calling me Chumpkin…

"And what would that be?"

James' POV

I am so embarrassed. Lily and Farah have got me screaming like a first year girl. I'm sending a lookout to every corner! It's Peter's turn.

"Hurry up, Wormtail! It won't be too hard. All you've got to do is walk to the end of the corridor and peek around the corner. It's simple, really. If you scream, we'll know not go go down there!" Sirius isn't the world's most soothing person. I think he just scared poor Peter even worse than he already was.

"I can do it! I'm not a baby…" Yes he is.

"You are, too!" Sirius speaks the truth; Peter is a big blubbering baby.

"Am not."

"Are, too!"

Okay, now I'm getting tired of this. "Stop fighting! Peter, just go check and see if the girls are there."

"Okay, okay, I'm going. You don't have to yell!"

"Yes he does." Sirius likes to start stuff, doesn't he?

"Does not!" Here we go again…

"Does, too!"

"STOP! Peter, go check the corner, NOW!" Wow… Remus can yell really loud when he wants to. I'll make a mental note not to cross him when he's scared.

Peter walks really funny. No… I can't really call it walking. It's more like… waddling. Yes, waddling. I think I shall start calling him my little penguin. He deserves it for being such a baby.

Peter laughs funny, too. Wait – why is he laughing? "What's going on down there? WORMTAIL! What so funny?" Why isn't he answering me? "Let's go check this out, guys."

I started walking with Moony and Padfoot down the corridor. Whatever's down there can't be too bad if Wormtail is laughing at it. Okay, he's always had a strange sense of humor, but –"

Now I know why Peter was laughing, and I'm not happy about it. "Rictusempra!" Oh, Merlin, what wrong with my stomach? Oh… Lily just cast a tickling spell on me! Why in the world did I leave my wand in the dormitory? My red-headed goddess must be messing with my head…

"Ha…haha…" must… not… giggle. That would only please her… Sirius is laughing uncontrollably, and so is Wormtail, and Remus – no, Remus isn't laughing at all! Is he not ticklish?

"How do you like the taste of your own medicine, Potter?" How come Lily's voice is so beautiful even when she's taunting me?

"I think… it… tastes pretty good…" I win!

"Really? Accio James!" Is she crazy? No, she's better than me at Charms – but not my much, I'd like to point out – and I probably won't knock her over like she did me.

Wow. I'm really close to Lily; this is fun! I can't let myself laugh, even though the rest of the guys are – not including Moony.

"See you guys at the Three Broomsticks tomorrow night," she said. What in the world? Oh, yeah – the blackmail letter; I forgot. She just wants to rub it in more! First Moony, and now her? "And be prepared for the absolute worst." She laughed. That can't be good.

"C'mon, Farah!" she yelled. "Let's go!" They ran down the hall, toward Gryffindor Tower. Great… I just got put in my place by the girl I'm in love with. Being a fifth year officially sucks.

FCgurl411 - Thank you so much! I hope you'll keep reading, even though HBP is out...

Katie - Thanks a load for the constructive criticism. I really appreciate it. I already had this chapter written when I got your review, so it didn't really follow it, but the next chapter will!

Betsy - Lovely review, thanks! I love compliments... lol.

the-honest-liar - lol... Eugene. Sorry about that... thanks for reviewing!

EVERYONE: Thank you guys sooooooo much for reviewing! I hope you'll keep it up! I love an interesting review... tell me a joke or something - not a dirty one, mind you; I don't want anyone getting in trouble. lol... Remember, constructive criticism (wow... I can never manage to spell that right the first time I try). Thanks again!

:Savanna:
I hope you liked this one!