DISCLAIMER: Nope, still don't own LOST, sorry to disappoint you.
A/N: Thanks to Saraiyu for the review, reviews are always appreciated it. All of these fics have been inspired by a challenge over at Lost-forum(dot)com, and so I do not take credit for the original and creative pairings. If I slaughted the British stuff in this chapter, sorry; I'm very much an American.
SPOILERS: Exodus Parts One and Two, The Moth, Homecoming, Raised by Another, ... In Translation and the rest of season one is possible; also, speculation about season two
Charlie glanced over at Claire, gently rocking Aaron and grinning like a fool at Locke, who had wormed his way into her life very fast after Claire told Charlie to leave. Charlie cursed and turned his attention back to his guitar; he needn't waste time thinking about the ungrateful whore who had dumped him after learning he had relapsed. No nice words for Charlie, no encouragement; just flat out rejection from bloody sweet Claire.
Charlie's addiction had spiraled out of control after Claire had ended it; he had never coped well with rejection and Claire's cold and tearful break-up had sent him over the edge. He could still recall the fateful night when she had ended things…
Charlie glanced furtively over his shoulder, good, no one in sight. He dug his stash out of his pocket, grinning when he saw that he was stocked up for a last a couple more days. Maybe he could make a day trip back to the plane, say he was after some fruit.
Charlie gingerly tipped some of the heroin onto his hand, dumping his stash right then would thoroughly piss him off, and snorted it up, grinning blissfully as the drug worked its magic. "Charlie!" Claire's voice cut him like a knife, even in his drugged state.
Charlie worked furiously to close up the bag and stuff it into his pocket before Claire showed up. He had just pushed the small pouch back into his front pocket, when Claire walked into view. "What're you doing out here, Charlie?" Claire asked, eyeing him closely.
"Nothin', just going to the loo," Charlie said happily; he tried to bring down the wattage of his smile a little to no avail.
Claire looked at him uncomfortably. "You just went to the bathroom," Claire pointed out slowly. "You've been going to the bathroom a lot lately, is there something you want to tell me?"
Charlie tried not to shift guiltily. "No, no. Nothing's wrong, Claire; I'm right as rain." Charlie bit his lip and looked a little to the left of Claire as she scrutinized him.
"Oh God," she breathed suddenly, and Charlie attention snapped back to her face, where she had obviously placed all his actions together. "No, you, you aren't using again are you, Charlie?" Her face looked painfully hopeful, but Charlie did not want to crush that sweet face.
Charlie paused, trying to find a nice way to say this. Claire took his silence as affirmation and ran off. "No! Wait, Claire!" Charlie fumbled after her, trying to make her see.
A short ways from the caves (and in plain view of Locke the whole time, Charlie later learned), Charlie caught Claire's arm. "Claire, I can explain. I can stop, please, just give me a chance," Charlie begged to Claire's tearstained face.
Claire looked over him, her red-rimmed eyes cold and distant. "You had a chance, Charlie. You said you had kicked the habit earlier; but you've just been lying the whole time," Claire said, oddly emotionless as tears streamed down her face.
"No," Charlie said, desperate to make her see. "You don't know––"
"I've had enough, Charlie," Claire interrupted. "I don't need you to take care of me, especially like this. Just stay away from me and Aaron." Claire turned on her heel and marched back toward the caves, and ultimately the beach.
Charlie watched Claire walked away, dumbstruck. He could not believe he had messed everything up that badly.
Charlie pulled himself out of his flashback as he watched Sun walk into the caves, the odd haunted look still on her face. She had been like that ever since Jin left, distant and detached. She had only shown any emotion upon his arrival with Aaron, but since then, she had drawn into herself more and more.
Charlie shook it off; he had better things to do, like glare at Claire and Locke and wonder how much longer he could wait before it wouldn't be too suspicious to sneak off and take a hit. He turned his attention back to the song he was attempting to write; although, nothing seemed to be coming since Claire ended it.
Charlie idly strummed a few chords as he contemplated the best way to seek revenge. A tap on the shoulder and an extended hand holding a bottle of water interrupted his vengeance quest. Charlie looked up into Sun's quietly smiling face. "Here, drink," she said, shaking the offered bottle slightly.
Charlie took the bottle, surprised that Sun offered it, and was even more surprised as she sat down next to him. "How are you Charlie?" she asked quietly. Charlie gave her an incredulous look; was it possible that she had been watching him the entire time?
"Umm… okay," Charlie said, taking a sip of the water. He still couldn't believe that Sun had even noticed him. "How 'bout you? With the raft and things…" Charlie trailed off as the haunted look appeared once again on her delicate face. He gently set the bottle of water down at his side.
"Fine," Sun said evenly. Charlie heard the unspoken longing and confusion in her voice. He knew how hard it was (he glanced again at the insufferable pair of Locke and Claire and winced) to know someone you loved was out of your reach.
Charlie fumbled for a moment, trying his best to find a way to comfort Sun. "I'm sure they're fine," Charlie counseled, after nothing else came to mind. "Jin's being brave, goin' off on the raft like a right hero."
Sun nodded hopelessly. "I, I just wonder sometimes…" Sun paused, and Charlie waited patiently for Sun to continue. "Sometimes I think it's for the best that Jin's gone. Maybe, maybe we weren't meant to be." Sun turned to face Charlie, eyes wet with tears and black eyes so, so sad.
"No," Charlie said, pulling Sun to his shoulder so she could cry. Charlie stroked her fine hair, trying his best to console this desperate woman. "No, I bloody well doubt that. You and Jin, you're made for one another; you've just hit a rough patch is all." Charlie tried to keep a lump from his throat as he thought about that. He could see himself in the same situation, and he knew the pain.
Sun lay against his shoulder, shaking and sobbing, while Charlie tried his best to soothe her, even as he felt the uncomfortable tinge warning him that his body wanted a fix. Charlie stilled most of his body from starting to twitch and shake; obvious signs to anyone of some kind of addiction.
After what seemed an eternity, but more like twenty minutes, Sun pulled back from Charlie's sodden shoulder, face blotchy and red. "I'm a mess," Sun said, voice hoarse and quiet from the tears.
"No, you're beautiful," Charlie assured her, smiling. Charlie clenched his fists, trying to ward off the growing insistence of his body for the heroin.
Sun laughed wetly. "Thank you, Charlie. You've helped me so much," Sun told him, sincerity in her eyes. She squeezed his shoulder. "You'll be fine too; once you move on." Charlie looked at her, dumbstruck.
Before he could say anything, Sun leaned forward, pressed her lips to him gently and then stood. She walked off into the gathering dusk, and Charlie stood to leave, following just behind her, and take a fix. Sun half turned, a fire silhouetting her frame, and whispered, "You don't need it Charlie."
Charlie looked at Sun in stunned disbelief. She saw so much even when she was in pain herself; Charlie wondered how perceptive she was when she wasn't distracted by anything. Charlie considered her words; words like that had been spoken to him before.
Charlie thought about the heroin in his pocket and the stash up at the plane. Charlie thought he understood addiction; it wasn't just a physical need but psychological need as well. Now, and not even really before, Charlie could not find a reason to give up needing the drug, psychologically. For a while, his body hadn't need the drug physically, but he had always needed it mentally. There was some rush, some satisfaction, he got from taking it; one that had not be dulled by his brief span where he wasn't physically dependent.
Charlie sighed and gave Sun a bittersweet smile. "No, I do." With that, Charlie brushed past her, half expecting her to come and demand he give it to her, but she didn't.
So Charlie went off into the jungle and snorted the heroin, tears running silently down his face all the while.
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