DISCLAIMER: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist, or any of its characters. I make no profit from this.

SETTING: After Episode 25, to End of the Series.

WARNING: Really big spoiler warning for episode 25.

Roy gave up on his paperwork. He just couldn't concentrate on it anymore. He rested his forehead on his hand and sighed. Now mater how hard he tried, he just couldn't get his head around it. Maes wasn't just gone. He was more than gone; he was dead.

Rizza stepped into the office as Roy sighed yet again. Oh how he wished he could just erase that day, yet it would be forever seared into his mind.

"Colonel?" Rizza whispered. Roy still had his gloves on, and she didn't want to alarm him. He had become so jumpy lately.

Roy appeared not to notice her.

"Colonel, is anything wrong?"

"Nothing," he barked in a harsh whisper. "I'm fine."

She hated seeing him like this! "ROY!" she shouted, "Tell me! What's bothering you? That face isn't just a figment of my imagination. Now tell me! It won't hurt anything to trust someone."

Roy just glared at her. "You're in no position to give orders, First Lieutenant Hawkeye."

"Please tell me?"

That sobered Roy up. Great, now she was worried about him. He knew how ostracized she must have felt.

"ROY MUSTANG, stop pushing me away! If you need to tell someone, I'll listen!" she cried. Watching his eyes glaze over slightly, she lowered her tone. "Roy, what's happened to you?"

"I killed." It wasn't a question. It wasn't a plea. It was a statement. "Ishvarlans, hundreds of them," he whispered. "Hundreds of thousands."

He watched her face contort with horror, but he continued on.

"People say the odor of burning flesh and hair is one of the worst in the world. But they ever smelt it- a thousand fold?" He tone was growing more desperate now. "Entire cities off of the map, and it was my doing. My doing! And for that, I'm a murderer! A filthy, good for nothing man-slaughter!" He choked on the words. "And after that, after all of the stuff I did, it was Hughes who had to die. Hughes never killed a man in his life if he could get around it. He had family. He had a wife and a daughter. A daughter who probably won't even be able to remember him!"

"Roy, don't be so hard-"

"No, Rizza. It's true. By equivalent exchange, I should be the one dead; to pay for all of my sins. What did Hughes have to pay for? Love? Kindness? Friendship?"

Roy was almost sobbing now. Tears flooded from his coal black eyes, but he didn't make a sound. His chest heaved, and he felt like behind his eyes was on fire, but he couldn't break. Not in front of Rizza.

Maes. His best friend. In a sense, he had been his brother. Maes had always understood. He had even forgiven him about what had conspired.

"Oh, Roy. What have they done to you?" Other than that, Rizza was speechless. She wanted to hug him, to hold him and let his sob away all of his problems onto her shoulder. But she knew he wasn't like that. A gesture that large would only send him back into his shell.

So quietly she moved over to him and placed a tender hand on his shoulder. "You may not know why Roy, but you're still here. You're still here, and you can't give up. You're still a good person, Roy. You can't live in the past. Life still has a lot to offer you. Roy, don't give up on it. Don't give up on life."

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Five years later Roy walked groggily over to the crib in the nursery. It was the middle of the night, but someone's son was still cranky. He reached down into the bundle of blankets and was once again amazed at how something so small, so delicate, could have such a firm hold on his heartstrings.

"There, there. There, there," he whispered. "Shhh. Yes, stop that, Maes. You wouldn't want to wake your mother."

The small child snuggled against his chest.

As he gently cradled his son, he was reminded once again that Rizza had been right. 'Don't ever give up on life.'