Disclaimer: Not mine.
Summary: Remus Lupin's thoughts as he prepares to leave. R/T.
The suitcase closed with a resounding snap, the sound reverberating throughout the small room. It sounded so final, so permanent.
It's not though, Remus Lupin reminded himself, not for the first time.
It was risky, doing what he was about to be doing. The werewolves wouldn't exactly be friendly to one of their own who had attempted to live a normal life as a wizard. There was no doubt in his mind that they would be hostile, especially if they were being led by Fenrir Greyback.
But it had to be done. The werewolves were too strong, too powerful an ally for Voldemort to have. Remus would do it for the Order, for the cause of good.
You know thats not why, a voice inside him whispered snidely. You asked Dumbledore. You asked him to let you go...
Remus deflated, sinking to the bed with his head in his hands. It was true. He couldn't stay here, Tonks was here. Young, vivacious Tonks. Lively, clumsy Tonks. Remus shook his head, urging his mind to clear of the images of the younger woman. He was being a coward, he couldn't trust himself to be near her..
He was a werewolf. She was not. He wanted to be with her- but he wanted her to stay safe even more. He would hurt her, he was sure of it. If he didn't attack her one moonlit night, there were other ways, more horrible then just a bite, worse than just the passing of a curse. He could kill her, maim her, permanently injure-
Enough, he instructed himself firmly. He was taking care of the problem. While he was gone, Tonks would forget about him. She would find a younger wizard, one her age, and one entirely human.
Although the thought was meant to comfort, it wrenched at his heart painfully. Somehow, Tonks forgetting him seemed like the worse fate of all.
A/N: Thoughts?