Dinner With Voldie and the Escape of the Spies
Against All Odds
"Just why is it that I have to go see that monster again Shacklebolt? Just remind me once more before my death," said Tonks grimly as she rearranged herself to fit the Alice McColl persona.
Kingsley merely smiled. "He's not going to kill you Tonks. He likes you-and your pancakes too much." At Tonks' rather loud and rather childish "humpf," he continued. "Hard as that may be to believe, he likes you. Let's just hope that its not as much as Fudge liked you."
At that Tonks stuck her tongue out. Like her the way that Fudge had liked her-the very thought was revolting! She shuddered. She didn't even want to imagine Voldemort thinking about her-or anyone for that matter- like that.
Fortunately for Kingsley, they had managed to make it to the dining room. "Gotta go. Good luck," he muttered as he shoved Tonks into the Voldemort's chamber of doom.
Tonks chewed on her tongue while stumbling into the room. "Bloody hell! That damn stupid auror! That bloody hurt! She was still muttering to herself when she heard that thing's voice.
"Watch your mouth when in the presence of your betters Alice."
She inwardly rolled her eyes and thought, you're my better when hell freezes over and Snape reveals his undying love and devotion to Harry Potter. However, the space between your mind and your mouth can be either very wide or very small. Luckily this was one of those times when the space remained as wide as the Great Plains.
Tonks bowed submissively, "My Lord, please forgive me. I-"
"Save your apologies for bigger things Alice. I want to know exactly why it is that you were fired by Fudge."
"My Lord…there is no excuse for my failure…I …"
"I know that already. Now tell me what happened!" hissed Voldemort.
"He…well…Fudge hit on me and I gave him the rough side of my tongue I'm afraid Master. I couldn't allow that half-breed to think that he had any chances with me-an Irish pureblood and direct descendent of Hogwarts' own Bloody Baron."
Does the Bloody Baron have descendents? Merlin, I hope not. Otherwise I am in deep crap! Thought Tonks.
The bloody Baron has descendents? Thought Voldemort, sidetracked for just a second.
Voldemort's sneering voice reassured her, "Touching as that really is Alice, I am still spyless. And I'll have you know that the Fudge line is pure, much as it seems that it isn't. I like you Alice McColl…"
Tonks blanched. She had thought that Kingsley was kidding when he said that Voldemort liked her!
"…and that's why you must go back."
Tonks snapped back into reality. Go back? What the hell is this creep on? Its bad enough you look like some kind of snake-human Animorph. Now you want me to go back to work for that lecherous man who's our so-called beloved leader! Not unless its over his dead body! Fortunately the gap between the mouth and the mind was once again quite wide.
"But Master, I don't want to serve him. I want to stay he with you and serve you. You're my only Master," said Tonks, inwardly wincing at that double meaning that she didn't see until just then.
Voldemort chuckled. Apparently Tonks wasn't the only one to see the double meaning in her words. And just like a storm passing through he stopped chuckling.
"You will go back Alice or don't bother to show up here in my glorious presence again."
Yes! Two nasty birds gone in one day! Uh-oh Dumbledore's not gonna like this…Oh well he can go to hell with the rest of them! I'm free! Oh try not to look too happy Tonks, she thought scolding herself.
"Yes master, " she said tearfully. "I only hope that I can be of better service to you in Ireland that I could be for you here. My parents have, after all, been begging me to go back home and marry one of the McNair twins." And before Voldemort could say anything, she apparated away.
Sirius and Harry made their way back to the kitchen with smiles on their faces to the surprise of the gossiping gathered Order members. Everyone stopped what he or she was doing and jerked their heads to Harry and Sirius.
Harry ducked his head shyly and said, "I'm sorry for my outburst when we got here. And thank you, from rescuing me from the Dursley's."
Mrs. Weasley rushed over to Harry to give him a huge hug that almost caused Harry and early death.
"Molly, let the boy go before you kill him. He can't possibly breathe like that," laughed Remus.
Sirius on the other hand saw this as an excellent opportunity to shine in the spotlight. He ran up to them and swallowed them in a huge hug of his own. He then promptly changed into his Animagus form and gave them each a wet, slobbery lick.
"Ewww!" cried Tonks laughingly.
"I totally agree," said Harry. "That is really nasty, Padfoot."
"Aren't you supposed to be somewhere right now, Alice McColl?" said Sirius changing back at Tonks voice.
Tonks blushed furiously. "Voldemort said go back to Fudge or leave. And I was not going back. So I left after making up some stupidness about being the Bloody Baron's descendent and marrying a McNair twin."
The whole kitchen positively hooted with laughter. They stopped a few seconds only to laugh even harder at Mad-Eye Moody's loud, "Snort!" The laughter continued until Albus Dumbledore walked into the kitchen drawn in by the laughter. It was not often that the gloomy, crumbling old house rang with such joyous, raucous laughter. However, upon Dumbledore's arrival, all laughter came to an abrupt halt.
"What'd I miss?" asked Dumbledore innocently.
"Nothing," chorused the whole room in such a way that everyone knows the other is guilty and probably doing something the intruder wouldn't like.
"Nothing," continued Sirius airily, "Except Miss McColl has managed to quit both of her jobs spying on Fudge and Voldemort in less than a day."
But instead of the anticipated reaction of the Order members and to Sirius' chagrin, Dumbledore chuckled. Perplexed the rest of the room followed, not in some sort of sick attempt to make the Headmaster feel pleased with himself such as with the Death Eaters, but more in confusion and embarrassment.
Once again the Grimmauld Place rang with laughter. Eventually the Order members calmed down enough for them to ask the question one another were all wondering. "What are we laughing for?"
Still laughing, but shaking their head in confusion, the other member would manage moan out happily, "I don't know."
Indignantly, for he thought the whole room was laughing at him, Sirius demanded, "You chuckle for her, but yell at me. How is that possible? Where is the justice? That is so unfair!"
Tonks responded first smugly, "It's because I'm smarter, prettier, and all around better than you. The Headmaster wouldn't dare yell at me. Isn't that so, Professor Dumbledore?"
"Well," replied Dumbledore, "I didn't actually expect Nymphadora to be able to keep up her double roles for a long period of time. Her temperament is not that of one with patience and discretion. Don't you agree?"
Completely mollified, Sirius nodded energetically and stuck his tongue back out at Tonks and every child's favorite words popped out by habit, "So there!"
Tonks however, pouted just as childishly as Sirius had not a few seconds ago and huffily defended herself. "I could too hold a job. I just didn't want to hold either of those jobs! Furthermore, you of all people should know that my name is Tonks, not Nymphadora. And if you weren't such an elderly old man, I'd hex you to Pluto and back!"
"Pax Caesar!" laughed Dumbledore. Putting on the "I'm Serious Face" he began, "I came to speak to Harry who I heard through the grapevine is back at Grimmauld Place." Silently all hands pointed to Harry who had a curious look on his face.
"Ah Harry. How are you my boy?"
"I'm fine, sir, now that Sirius is back. How are you."
"Very well thank you. Now let us forget the pleasantries." At Harry's nod of acquiesce, he continued, "I have some rather unpleasant news for you. We are going to bring your training now. I assume you know the reasons." Harry began to frown but Dumbledore took no notice of this. "We need to set up a training schedule. I will personally train you until I feel that you ready to face your destiny. I will begin your training when I feel that you are completely able to blick off Lord Voldemort. We do not under any circumstances want him to know of your training and we most certainly do not want him to know of the prophecy. Therefore, you will resume your lessons with Professor Snape until you are proficient Occlumens master."
The whole room stared at Harry, waiting for his reaction at the end of Dumbledore's speech. Some were nodding in agreement, whatever, the prophecy involved it made sense that Harry would train in Occlumency before training with Dumbledore himself. How lucky! To be talented and powerful enough to be trained by Albus Dumbledore-the greatest wizard of the past TWO centuries!
"Excuse me," said Harry in a deadly calm voice. "You want me to train with Professor Snape in Occlmency when you know that we do not get along well and when you know that he hates me and I hate me. No, Dumbledore, I am through with you running my life. I am perfectly willing to be trained by you during the school year but I flat out REFUSE…to learn Occlumency with Snape."
"Professor Snape," quipped Dumbledore.
Harry gave the Headmaster a thoroughly disgusted look. Uh-oh, thought Dumbledore, better get everyone out of here before the explosion comes. This is not going to be pretty. Turning toward the rest of Order, Dumbledore said, "May you please excuse us and allow Harry and I discuss this privately?"
Reluctant to leave and disgruntled about missing to the good show, the Order members left. Shuffling towards the door, they all muttered about missing the "showdown" and wondered who would come out on top. It was obvious that something was happening, something that would make for excellent gossip at the end of the next meeting of the Order of the Phoenix. Nevertheless, they all left the kitchen. Well, all except one, Sirius Black, that is.
"Sirius," said Dumbledore, "may Harry and I please have privacy for our conversation?"
"No," replied Sirius resolutely. "This concerns my godson and you are not his guardian. You will not be making anymore decisions concerning him without my permission. It's time you learned and respected my role has Harry's guardian."
"You had a role in Harry's life. Problem is, its hard for a man in Azkaban to watch over his godson's life. Something g that I did! I took over your role of guardian of Harry when you proved yourself incapable of responsibility by chasing after Pettigrew without a shred of tangible evidence! I've been there for Harry. And where have you been? Rotting away in Azkaban."
"Stop!" yelled Harry. "Would you just listen to yourself Dumbledore? You haven't been there for me. If you had, then I wouldn't have been at the Dursely's lvigin as their slave and sleeping under the cupboard under the stair for 10 years! Sirius has been there more for me than you could ever hope to be! And I'm tired of you running my life. You're running my life has only gotten me running up and down and around every corner at Hogwarts trying to solve mystery or another that you know that you could solve perfectly well on your own!"
When Dumbledore didn't say anything, Sirius took up where Harry had left off, "We're leaving, Dumbledore," he said coldly. "And while we're gone, I want you to think about what was said here today and when we return, I want a full apology made to me and Harry. And be careful fo what you say, because it could very well end up in the Daily Prophet. And then we will you be- the world's most respected wizard revealed for the cold, unfeeling old man that he is."
"But what about the Order of Merlin ceremony, you have to," began Dumbledore somewhat weakly, for even he could sense his defeat in this particular argument.
"I don't have to do anything, Dumbledore. But I will be there, if only to bash Fudge's head into the ground."
"Well, where are you going to go. I'm afraid I cant let you leave this house without knowing where you're secure location for Harry and yourself is, Sirius. It's time you showed some responsibility."
"So much for what you know, Dumbledore. This is not the only house that the Black family owns. Nor is it the only house that I own. As for where it is-NunYa!"
"NunYa?" asked Dumbledore skeptically. "I have never heard of-"
"It means none of your business, Dumbledore. All you need to know is that it is a secure location, just as secure as Grimmauld Place."
Sirius then walked towards the door and yanked it open with Harry following. When they opened the door, Tonks, Remus, and a few other brave souls fell down from leaning on the door. Sirius laughed, but refused to answer all of their frantic questions. Harry only scowled. There were more people trying to butt into his life! However, taking one look at Harry's scowl, one man stormed into the kitchen to talk with one, Albus Dumbledore.
It was late evening in England. All around the country families, friends, and business partners were meeting up for dinner. Lord Voldemort and his minions were no exception to this ancient tradition.
Currently Voldemort and Severus Snape, or Barty Crouch Jr. as Vodemort knew him, were sitting down to eat dinner and plan an attack on the Ministry of Magic. Formal dinner with Voldermort, can you imagine?
Well, actually it was more like Voldemort sitting comfortably and Snape squatting. Snape would never dare sit in his Master's presence without his expressed permission. Niether would he ask for his permission to sit. Not only would it probably get him cursed, but he would never relinquish his pride. Never would a Snape sit on the floor in deference to another wizard like some common house elf! Therefore, he squatted through the entire meal
For the first quarter of an hour there was silence-with exception of Voldemort's ridiculous chopping. Honestly it's the most annoying thing in the world to eat with the person next chopping like a beaver, thought Snape. If I didn't already know that Voldemort was a half-blood, I would've known that he wasn't a pureblood by his atrocious table manners! All of that "vast" knowledge of magic and he doesn't even know how the cast the simple charm to prevent the noise from chopping and the clattering of silverware?
"I want to attack in the middle of the speech that Dumbledore will have our esteemed Boy-Who-Lived-Only-Because-I-Let-Him reading," said Voldemort, finally taking a break from his meal.
Politely Snape put down his fork and knife, wiped his mouth, and rose his original standing position. "But my Lord, they will have protection. There will be bodyguard at every entrance! Can we afford to lose more people, especially now that everyone knows that you're back?"
"Tosh Barty. You worry about the simplest problems. We will have our contact within the ministry know that we need passes into this grand ministry event that they have forgotten our invitation to." Eyes glinting evilly, Voldemort laughed at his own pitiful joke in his infamous high-pitched laughter.
Weakly, Snape chuckled along with the Dark Lord. He's amused. That's one good sign. Maybe he'll tell me for real who his contact is, thought Snape.
"Who is that contact, my Lord? Is he trustworthy?"
"As if I would stoop so low as to tell you who my contact is," Voldemort stopped laughing and frowned. "I made that mistake once. Everone knew more people than he or she needed to know." He was obviously remembering when Igor Karkaroff eagerly ratted out his fellow Death Eaters for a chance to escape Azkaban prison.
"My Lord, I am not such a traitor as he," said Snape while inwardly laughing at the irony in his head. He was a bigger traitor than Karkaroff could ever hope to be.
Voldemort smiled, reached out, and petted Crouch's wispy reddish-blonde hair as if he were a beloved dog. "I want to catch Serverus Snape. That slippery snake has eluded me for far too long for my taste. And he is required to go to Potter ceremony for the Order of Merlin."
Snape could not hold it in any longer. He burst out laughing before he could feel the horror of what he'd done. Laughing in the most terrifying Dark Lord's presence without his permission? Unheard of! But the irony was simply too much for even him to handle. He was planning his own death sentence with a monster who thought of him as a beloved pet and faithful servant.
Voldemort frowned. "And just what the hell is so funny? Let me tell you something now, Crouch, if I fail to see Snape dead in my chamber the night of that ceremony, you will pay."
Crouch, or Snape rather, blanched. This was a predicament indeed. How to plan one's own death without being caught by the person you are spying on and without getting punished terribly.
Hastily, although with bits of his amusement making it way through his face, Snape said, "I meant no disrespect Master. I only laughed at the idea of Snape's look of suprise at being caught…he always did think himself above the rest even while in Hogwarts."
At that Voldemort laughed. "Then I will give you the honor of first torture." And with that he waved his wand and there were oompa loopas singing and dancing to 'Let's Get It Started' by Black Eyed Peas. For a Muggle-hater, thought Snape, Voldemort sure does seem to be a huge fan of Muggle music as he and Voldemort began to plan the attack.
Albus Dumbledore was a troubled man. All his plans were foiling. First Harry wasn't going to be staying at the Dursleys in his depressed state and therefore be more suspectible to his will and judgement. Then Sirius was refusing to stay in the Order without a job to do for the Order. And now Harry and Sirius were both leaving his presence to do Merlin-knows-what at Merlin-knows-where. He sighed once again.
However, Dumbledore did not have long to dwell on the problems at hand for one angry wizard flew through the door as if Lord Voldemort himself were after him under pain of death. Dumbledore was surprised at who it was who came storming in, although he should not have been. Who was it you ask? Well of course it was our favorite werewolf, Remus Lupin.
"Albus, I know you're not going to tell me anyway but just for chance's sake I'm going to ask-what the hell happened with Harry and Sirius just now?"
Grimly Dumbledore replied, "You are correct for I will not answer. That is for Harry and Sirius to tell you if you should so choose. But they have ruined everything in their choices."
Remus scowled at Dumbledore's response. "What choice did they make. At the very least, you owe me an explanation of that."
Defeatedly Dumbledore said aloud his thoughts earlier before Remus's loud interruption, "Harry has left the Dursleys and isn't depressed anymore over Sirius' death. Therefore he is not as vulnerable and unwilling to hear and accept my good judgment. He failed to listen to me and instead has preferred to listen to Sirius' rather impromptu ideas. And now Harry and Sirius were both leaving to do Merlin-knows-what at Merlin-knows-where."
Remus laughed raggedly. "Is that all? And here I thought there was a real problem at hand. Like Harry not being willing to go through the process for his magical enhancement."
Dumbledore said nothing. Why oh why did they not understand? This ruins everything! Harry wasn't supposed to know about the magical enhancement process and now it was more likely than ever that he would figure it out. And judging by the way that Harry has been reacting to everything that has been going on around him lately, I doubt he will be pleased by a dramatic increase of magic which will bring him even more attention.
Remus, however, continued what he was saying. "I mean, its not as if you were so stupid as to not tell him that he was going to be going through this process. Especially when you know how much Harry hates to be not included in the decisions that are affecting him directly."
At Dumbledore's continued silence, Remus stopped. He had a dumbfounded look of complete and utter shock upon his face. If the situation weren't so serious and out of Dumbledore's control, Dumbledore would have laughed.
"You haven't told him yet? You promised that you would tell him the moment he arrived back at Grimmauld Place! Were you ever going to tell him? Was that ever in your head? That maybe Harry Potter might want to be involved and included in the discussions about his own freaking life!" Remus stopped ranting due to lack of breath.
Dumbledore sighed still not saying anything. It had simply been a crappy day and it would be best if all those who had an issue to take up with simply just said, or yelled, their piece so that he could get on with his life…maybe he would eat a whole bag a lemon drops-that always seemed to lighten up his day…
Taking another deep breath, Remus continued more softly, "You know what Dumebldore? I used to admire you. You were such a great wizard, loyal and true to the end of the reign of fear caused by Voldemort and his Death Eaters. But now I'm not so sure. I think that you've begun to see things in numbers and not in what they are-people, people with feelings…I'm not going through the process without Harry's full knowledge, Dumbledore. A So you had best get your act together because Harry's not even going to want to see you much less hear what you have to say judging by the way that he stormed out of this room a few minutes ago." Remus looked at Dumbledore for a few moments more before turning away slowly and walking out of the room as if in a daze. For who had ever dared to yell at Dumbledore and point out his faults in such an obvious way… and since when did it actually look as thought that Dumbledore was listening.
End of Against All Odds, Dinner With Voldie and the Escape of the Spies Chapter 5
It is summer break-finally! Luckily Dinner With Voldie and the Escape of the Spies only has a few chapters left-simply because I have a the concentration level of an amoeba and the determination to see things through of a lioness! So this is what you get as a result of those 2 qualities combined-an extremely short story. If you just so happened to be reading Musings and Heartbreak then be happy, hakuna matata, because I only have one more chapter to write where Sirius goes to Azkaban…much as I wish I could change it :sniff:
Wishing you lots of laughter, love, and Harry Potter,
wannabewitch610
p.s. if you see that phrase written anywhere in publishing know that I wrote it first and Scholastic stole it from me when they read my essay on Why In Love Harry Potter and I have it copyrighted by Witches Incorporated Copyrighting Company (WICC) and many other "real" copyrighting companies!
And if you skipped my entire authors note-don't feel bad-I do it too sometimes! Just catch this last line and REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!