Scully nodded and took in a breath. "I'll try as much as I can."

Mulder gently took her hand. "Go ahead. You've been holding so much within you these past few weeks, Scully. It's time you let them go. Your mind didn't want you to remember at that time but now it does. Get rid of that Scully so you can try and move on." He paused. "So that WE can."

Scully lowered her head. "I remember…I was standing on the street corner and then I saw the riot start. I wanted to get to safety but there was no place to go except for an alley. So, I stepped into it, thinking I would just wait until things had settled down. And then the next thing I knew I felt this hand over my mouth and knife to my throat. And then a voice said for me not to scream or he would cut my pretty little throat. And then I was dragged through the alley."

"So, I was right, he did drag you."

She lifted her head. "How would you have known that?"

"Well, for one thing we found your ear piece in the alley not far from where you were. And then while I was investigating that area I found one of your earrings. I instantly recognized it as being a part of the pair I gave you for a gift. And…I basically thought that the one had fallen off due to force of some kind. So, I concluded that you had been dragged."

Scully smiled. "Your powers of deduction never cease to amaze me."

"But they weren't good enough to catch a serial killer." Mulder muttered under his breath.

"Mulder, you can't blame yourself."

But that wasn't true. He did blame himself and right now was struggling to keep his emotions in check. Before he expressed his true emotions, he needed to know exactly what Jeremy had done to her. "So, he dragged you to a room?"

"Yes. He told me how angry he was that the riot had taken place and spoiled his fun. He said I had been special there waiting for him. And he….he called me his Little Red. Then he dragged me toward this back room and said it was going to be time for my revealing."

"Revealing?"

Scully nodded. "Then he sat me on the bed and asked my name. He called me his goddess because I was named after one. And…he said he would never hurt his goddess." She swallowed. "And then….he…he started to touch me."

"Touch you?"

"He ran his hands up my legs and touched me under my panties." She closed her eyes tightly.

Mulder squeezed her hand reassuringly. He could feel how much this was hurting her. "It's ok, Scully. You don't have to go into detail. What happened after he touched you? Did he hurt you?"

"No. He started talking to me about how whores were nothing but a good fuck and nothing else. And to emphasize that fact he put the knife to my throat making me agree with him."

"But he didn't cut you?"

"Not at that time."

"Then what changed his mind to make him hurt you?"

"He was…moving his hands down my skirt and he pulled out my FBI ID from my pocket. I know it was stupid to have it with me. Believe me, I know that now." She paused. "After he saw that I was an FBI Agent I knew I had doomed myself. So…I tried to wrestle the knife away from him but he was too strong for me. He…ripped open my top with the knife and saw the wire attached to my bra."

"Oh god." Mulder replied in a soft voice as he saw the scenario in his head. Now he knew just why Jeremy had inflicted such pain upon Scully.

"He said he couldn't tolerate anyone who lied to him. So…he slapped me really hard across the face and I could feel the whole room spinning. Then he said that he was going to have to teach me a lesson for lying to him. He put the knife to my throat and told me to whisper softly or my death would be much slower."

"Jesus Christ." Mulder folded his hands and put his head on them. He was beginning to see more and more into Jeremy's mind and it was frightening. This was the very kind of serial killer that he had feared profiling. And to know that his partner was his innocent victim made it even worse. But he had to be brave for her. If it was difficult for him to hear this he could only imagine what it was like for her re-live it. "Go on, if you can."

"I passed out and then when I woke up I was handcuffed to a bed by my wrists in just my bra and panties. He was…waiting there with the knife to taunt me." She closed her eyes as she lowered her head again. "He..started asking questions about you."

"About me?"

"He saw the earring I had and asked if you had given it to me. Then he asked…if you had ever had sex with me. And then he…." She took in a breath as she trembled. "He started touching me and was claiming that he was showing me what I secretly…" She bit her lower lip.

Mulder didn't want to hear anymore. But he knew he had to know for his own sake. For his own peace of mind. He gently lifted her chin to look at him. "Scully, I know this is hard for you but I need to know." He took in a breath. "Did…did Jeremy rape you?" The words he spoke were like daggers to his heart.

"I pushed him off of me and he cut me. I turned toward the window and screamed for help. And then he gagged me and used the knife to tear off my panties. I could feel his erection on me…" She grabbed onto the sheets of the bed as she tried to control her emotions. "And then….he entered me."

His worst fear had just been realized. "That son-of-a-bitch!" Mulder screamed not being able to hold back any longer. He threw his head back and clenched his fists before slamming them on the bed.

Scully raised her head with tears streaming down her face. "Mulder…"

"That fucking bastard!" Mulder answered as his voice started to break. "How could he…" He looked upward and closed his eyes as tears streamed down his cheeks.

Scully reached forward and touched his shoulder. "Mulder, I tried to fight him. I swear I did. And I didn't want you to know. Oh god I didn't want you to find me like you did."

"But he raped you, Scully!" Mulder answered moving away from her touch. "He pushed himself into you by force! He hurt you!"

"I know he did. And he's dead now."

"I should have let that son-of-a-bitch suffer!" Mulder rose from the bed as his anger consumed him. "Death is too kind for him!" He sank to his knees. "I should have….I should have…" He swung his fists in the air as if he were aiming at some invisible intruder. He then buried his face in the carpet on the floor as sobs wracked his body.

Scully could not believe what she was witnessing. She had never seen Mulder act like this over her not even when she had been close to death from her cancer. The anger he was exhibiting was something she had never seen before. Was there some secret reason for it? She carefully eased herself off the bed and took a seat next to him on the floor. "Mulder, there was nothing you could have done."

Mulder raised his head. "I should have shot his damn head off! Sent his blood splattering against the wall!"

"And if you had done that, you would me a murderer. You would be in prison and not be here with me." She placed her hand on the side of his face. "Is that what you want? To be a murderer? To put yourself down to his level? You're better than that, Mulder. I know you are."

Mulder pulled away from her. "Don't tell me what I should be feeling!"

"And just how do you think I feel?" She asked as she laid her hands in front of her. "I'm the one who actually went through this! I'm the one who was cut and fondled! I'm the one who was violated! I'm the one who has to live with this experience forever! I'm the one who will be haunted by that face as long as I.." She turned her head as her lips trembled once again. "Please don't do this to me. You…are the one person I want to count on to help me, Mulder. You're the one person I believed wouldn't treat me like a victim. The person I believed would take care of me. And now here you are screaming and yelling about splattering some one's brains against the wall? What's happened to you?" She turned back around to face him. "I've known you for six years, Mulder. I know when you are trying to hide something from me. What is it? Please tell me."

"You want to know what it is?" Mulder asked as he ran a hand through his hair. "All right, I'll tell you, Scully. When I was sitting in that surveillance van watching you on that street corner.." His eyes took on a glazed look. "I made a decision right then and there. That after our stake-out was done that I was going to take you out to dinner."

"Yes, I know we both agreed on that before I left."

"But I also decided on something else too." He reached over and cupped her face. "After everything that's happened now, I know I can't hold it back any longer. Almost losing you has helped me to realize that." He sighed. "All right, I'm not going to beat around the bush here. I'm just going to say it. I care about you more than anything, Scully. You're….you're everything to me. My life would be empty without you. If you had died, I wouldn't have wanted to live either. What I'm trying to say is…" He looked deep into her eyes. "I love you, Scully."

Scully found herself at a loss for words. "I…" At this point it was like the English language was a foreign thing to her much less language in general.

"Don't…don't say anything. You don't have to tell me if you feel the same way or not. It doesn't matter to me. I just…I had to tell you. The reason I was so upset about what Jeremy did to you was because of what I feel for you. This….bastard nearly took away the one person I love. And you would have died without me ever telling you. That…is what hurt me the most. But then to hear that he had violated you…taken something that wasn't his. It…it destroyed me."

"He may have done that but that doesn't mean that he defeated me. You taught me that, remember? You said that I had the most courage of anyone you had ever seen. I believe that." She placed her hand over his. "And now so do you. We can't be at each other's throats like this. It's a terrible thing that happened we both can't deny that. But…we both need to move on and be strong. And I don't know about you…but I can't do this alone. You told me in your hallway when I was ready to quit that you didn't want to go it alone. Now I'm asking the same of you. I can't….honestly admit the same confession you did to me. But I promise you that if that time comes, I will tell you. But I don't want you to think that I don't care deeply for you because I do. It's just that with the L word…"

"Scully, it's ok. I understand." He caressed her hair, tucking it behind her ears. "I'm just glad I could tell you. But I never want to do anything to make you uncomfortable."

"You could never do that, Mulder." Scully answered with a soft smile.

Mulder reached forward and kissed her forehead tenderly. "I'm sorry about what I said to you. It's just that a bastard like that deserves the most horrible punishment possible."

She leaned her head on his shoulder. "Sometimes justice isn't fair. But there is one thing I know."

"What's that?" He asked as he picked up strands of her hair between his fingers.

"Well, Melissa used to believe in something called karma. Do you know what that is?"

"Yeah, I think so. It has to do with how you get back what you give or something?"

Scully gave a small giggle. "You're close. It basically means that whatever action you perform whether it be of good or bad intention that it will come back to you three times that. Or…something close to that. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that Jeremy will pay in the afterlife for what he did in this one. He will pay for his crimes."

"Yeah but I just wish I was there to see it." He kissed the side of her face. "Hey, you still haven't told me about what happened in the hospital bathroom and the tub."

"And you still owe me a dinner."

"What? Oh shit! I forgot!" Mulder put his hand to his forehead. "So much for your gourmet meal."

"Actually I think pizza sounds pretty good."

"Half pepperoni and half veggie?"

"Ooohh, you know what I like." She replied with a coy smile.

"You've been hanging around me too long."

"Well, I don't think that's such a bad thing."

Mulder laughed. "All right we have pizza and Coke." He noticed her giving him a look. "Ok, DIET Coke. And then you tell me about what happened to you in the bathrooms all right?"

"Sounds good. I can talk better on a full stomach."

"Here. Let me help you up." Mulder leaned down and put his arms under Scully's before pulling her up. He helped steady her on her feet and realized just how close they were to one another. "Scully?"

"Yes, Mulder?"

"I know this may sound childish but…may I kiss you?"

A smile spread across her face. "I don't think a small kiss would hurt."

Mulder returned her smile and then slowly leaned down to her face. He closed his eyes and then closed the gap between them with a gentle kiss. He had just confessed his love for her and now he was tasting her lips! And even though the moment was brief, it would be forever etched in his memory. And it was more wonderful than he could have imagined. He reluctantly pulled back as he didn't want to push things. "Well?"

Scully tilted her head slightly. "I would say that was worth waiting for."

Mulder grinned. "Me too. You want to call in the pizza while I uh…take care of the kitchen?"

"The garbage bags are in the bottom left cupboard. Oh and uh don't forget to disinfect the counter where you had the food on."

Mulder teasingly saluted her. "I'm on it, boss." He turned and headed toward the kitchen. He then stopped and looked back. "Oh and I ah guess the apron worked."

"Apron?"

Mulder pointed to the apron. "Kiss the Cook?"

"Had I known you were wearing that I might have reconsidered. Where did you get that anyway?"

"Oh just something I picked up. And you really would have reconsidered?"

Scully walked up to him and nodded. "No."

"Why I outta…"

"Go clean the kitchen?" She quickly interjected. "Yes, I think that's a good idea." She walked away from Mulder and over to the phone. She pushed one of her memory buttons. "Yes, I can hold." She then looked toward the kitchen and a smile came to her face. She couldn't believe that Mulder had confessed his love for her. She wanted so much to return the gesture but there was still that small part of her that was afraid. She was still so uncertain about things at this time. And she kept wondering just how she was going to explain to Mulder what happened to her in the hospital bathroom and the bathtub when even SHE didn't know? At this point, it didn't matter to her. The entire trauma she had suffered these past few weeks was now behind her. She had confessed to Mulder everything she had been holding inside. And it was like he said, that her mind had decided that the time was finally right. Would it also tell her when the time was right about something else? She then heard a voice come back on the line. "Yes, I'd like one large pizza half pepperoni and the other half vegetarian please?"

"Shit!" Came a voice from the kitchen followed by a loud thump.

Scully shook her head at Mulder's obvious clumsiness trying to put the food in the garbage. "What? Oh yes and I need a liter of Diet Coke."

"Regular!"

Scully sighed. "And add a liter of regular Coke as well."