AOU: I haven't updated in a while, huh? Oh well...

Neji: in that space of time, we of the Naruto show have been relaxing and enjoying the freedom we briefly possessed...but now...

Kiba: THE DARK WITCH IS BACK! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

AOU:...what?

Sasuke: nice going, Kiba. Now she knows her nickname

AOU: Dark...Witch...? (eye twitch, then brightens) Hey! Nice name for me!

Kiba: I know. Akamaru and I thought of it. Ne, Akamaru?

Akamaru: Arf!

AOU: Well. I dont own Naruto. You know da drill..FIC START!

Chapter 3

Everybody met at the lobby, bored. "I'm bored." Naruto said, always the one to state the obvious. Tenten suddenly clapped her hands together. "I know! Let's explore this place! it's impossible for it only to have five bedrooms!

(Gai grinned anddid the thumbs-up sign at the TV screen while his teeth went PING. "Ya! Tenten! Whoo!"

Kakashi didn't say anything while Kurenai gave Gai a good kick in the...sensitive area, you may say.)

Everyone stayed close together. Well, no one really stayed near Shino because of his bug problem. But, oh well. They went to the kitchen first and found some ramen on the table. But it was cold! Ah! Everybody hates cold ramen! Naruto especially. "Oy!" He waved his hands at the group (he had charged forwards as soon as he saw the ramen) "Sasuke-teme! I could use some fire here!"

Sasuke muttered something under his breath and performed hand seals. "Katon: Goukakyuu no Jutsu!" But, OH MY GAWD! The Mythical Fireball (is that what it's called?) did not hit the ramen like Sasuke was aiming for! It hit everything! The whole kitchen was on fire! Ah!

"Wtf? Why's the kitchen on fire?" exclaimed Kiba, hugging Akamaru close to him.

"Whoo...get out of the house..." A ghostly voice started to speak from behind Kiba, making him scream like a little girlie. Everybody was jolted briefly out of their fearstate to stare at Kiba. Kiba stared at them and shrugged. "I'm hitting puberty."

"I-I-I think you should l-look behind y-you, K-K-K-Kiba-kun!" Hinata stammered, taking a step back and bumping into Neji, who gave her a death glare. IT WAS A GHOST! BUT NOT ANY GHOST! IT WAS THE GHOST OF...St. Halloween! (insert Psycho theme)

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" Everyone save Gaara screamed.

("AHAHAHHAHAHAHA!" laughed everyone at the TV. "Good job, Kurenai!" giggled Tsunade. "If I hadn't known better I would've thought it was real! Nice Genjutsu." Kurenai looked genuinely confused (i've never seen her confused. only shocked, quiet, sad, unhappy and blank. other emotions too, maybe)

"I never turned on any genjutsu in that house." Kurenai muttered, but loudly enough for everyone to hear.

Everybody stared at her, then at each other. "So, that's a real ghost?" Asuma exclaimed. "Who cares? let's just continue!" Jiraiya muttered.

The Jounins and Hokage stared at each other again before shrugging and returning to watching)

Gaara stepped forwards and held out his arm. Temari and Kankurou stared at him in horror. "No, wait, Gaara! Don't tell me you want to 'get that feeling' before the Final Sleep!" exclaimed Temari, grabbing her little brother's arm.

"No." Gaara took a step forwards. "Sabaku Kyuu." Sand...arms exploded everywhere and trapped the fire and ghost thingy. "Sabaku Sousou."

CENSOR

UNCENSORED AGAIN

When everybody had calmed down and reopened their eyes, their was cinders everywhere. "That...went well." Ino gave a nervous attempt of a chuckle.

"Whatever." snorted Gaara.

Everybody stared cheering him, giving him pats on the Gourd and the like. "Gaara! Gaara! Gaara! Gaara!" Everybody save Shino, Sasuke, Neji and Lee shouted. Why Lee? Because Gaara is the reason Lee went through all that surgery shit! That's why!

"Was that a real ghost?" Tenten asked after everyone calmed down.

"It wasn't genjutsu." Sasuke growled. "I had my Sharingan on."

Tenten was silent for a few seconds, then, she gave a wide, maniacal grin. "So, THAT'S why Sasuke's Katon totally exploded! That's why there's a ghost! And cobwebs! Everywhere!"

Everyone stared at her. "I think Tenten's finally gone of her rocker jyan." Kankurou commented snidely.

"no!" Tenten exploded. She whipped out two kunai, two senbons and a shuriken, hurling them with precise aim at Kankurou. Had the Suna Puppeteer's reaction not been so fast, he would've been Kankurou-senbon-kunai-shuriken shishkabob now.

Tenten stared at everyone with wide hazel eyes. "I read in a book my mother gave me, that all haunted houses are like this. Ninjutsu going wild, Genjutsu not showing up, Taijutsu...still being Taijutsu, Ghosts everywhere..."

She let that sink in for a minute. Then, surprise showed on the faces on everyone save Shino, Sasuke, and Neji. "WE'RE IN A HAUNTED HOUSE!" Everyone save Gaara, Sasuke, Shino and Neji screamed.

(Kakashi chuckled. "That was pretty slow. I thought Sasuke would've figured it out when he turned on his Sharingan..")

"Didn't you guys know that?" deadpanned Sasuke. "I knew it as soon as I turned on Sharingan."

"Why didn't you tell us and make us go through all that extra trauma!" screeched Lee.

"Because I thought you guys knew." Sasuke shrugged.

("Oh")

AOU: Well? How'd'ya like that? I tried making everyone's requests as equal as possible in this. I think this is gonna be a bit darker than just wild slapstick weirdom in an old house. It's a-gonna be a haunted-house-slapstick-weirdom! But it's still gonna be kinda dark. I'm gonna start writing in darker notes soon, because I'm turning more and more to the black side. I dunno why.

Neji: Because the Devil is punishing you for doing this to us

AOU: In case you haven't noticed, I'm kinda Satanist/Atheist mix. So if I accidentaly type something in here that offends you, gomen!

Sasuke: you work on humor fics while typing dark fics. Nice

AOU: But it's gonna be hard for me...so, if you're planning on reading any of my darker fics, be forewarned! There will be moments of cheer and humor because all the fics and chapters I write reflect my mood. So, review well or you're gonna get a pretty down chapter and fic! Ja ne!