Victims

-Spike's Hospital Room-

Angel walks through the doorway to see Spike with his arms bandaged. He's sitting on a bed wearing a white hospital gown, the look on Spike's face is somewhat sad and full of contemplation. If Angel didn't know better he might have mistaken Spike to be brooding, but then there was that classic smart ass comment that Spike always had to say which either proved that he had no concerns about the wrongs he had done or was just truly good at covering up his true feelings.

"Come to tap-dance on the patient, have we, doc? I'd give you the finger, but apparently I won't have the motor skills till the drugs wear off," Spike says.

"A lot of pain?"

"More than I'd like… But not as much as you would… Just what I deserve"

And then there were moments that Angel realized that there was more to Spike then his quirky comebacks and smart ass comments. He really did have a soul, and he did feel remorse for the things that he had done, and if anything he did realize that he deserved punishment.

"I didn't say that."

"No. I did. The lass thought I killed her family. And I'm supposed to what, complain 'cause hers wasn't one of the hundreds of families I did kill? I'm not sayin' you're right... 'cause, uh... I'm physically incapable of saying that… But, uh... for a demon... I never did think that much about the nature of evil. No. Just threw myself in. Thought it was a party. I liked the rush. I liked the crunch. Never did look back at the victims."

"I couldn't take my eyes off them. I was only in it for the evil. It was everything to me. It was art. The destruction of a human being. I would've considered Dana a masterpiece."

"What happens to her?"

"I don't know… Um, Andrew and the slayers took her… Didn't trust us to help her"

"Andrew double-crossed us? That's a good move… Hope for the little ponce yet. Though the tingling in my forearms tells me she's too far gone to help. She's...one of us now. She's a monster."

"She's an innocent victim."

"So were we... once upon a time."

"Once upon a time."

The room fell silent as the two of them reflect. It was hard thing for both of them to believe that with all the horrible things that they had done that once upon a time they had been just as innocent and those that they had victimized. They each think back to the days when they had been nothing more then human, mortal, and then it had all been taken away in an instant to become what they are now.

"So, I'm assuming that since we've lost everyone's trust and Andrew swindled us out of our slayer that…that Buffy's gone too," Spike says with a hint of sadness in his voice.

"Actually… I saw her in the waiting room."

"I swear if you're pullin' my chain…"

"I'm not…she has a flight back tomorrow."

Spike takes a minuet to think over just what that means, if it meant anything at all. All he really knows is that she's still there, and whether it was for him or not he guessed that being able to spend any more time with her was a good thing.

"Well… I have to go, there's always work to be done."

"Yea…guess I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Yea."

With that Angel simply turns and leaves. The room again feels quiet and empty to Spike, all he can to do for the moment is think. Forever seems to come and go before the door slowly opens again, and she walks in. She seems almost shy at first when she enters then their eyes meet and a level of comfort is met. Buffy stands before Spike like an angel glowing in all her beauty and strength.

"Hey…" she says softly.

"I see you stayed."

"Yea, but I'm leaving tomorrow."

"Right, gotta' get back to the slayeretts and what not, I understand."

"I was hoping that we could, you know talk… before I leave."

"Sure pet… anything you want."

Buffy walks over to the bed and pulls up a chair so that she can sit next to Spike. It was hard for her to try and say just what she meant, she had never planned on seeing him again and she didn't really know just what she was suppose to do.

"So… how've you been?"

"Fine I guess, I have my own place, there's stuff to do, people to save… it's not home, but it'll do for now."

"Yea… I know how that feels."

"So, this is what you wanted to talk about, how I've been?"

"No, I… Spike, I need you to know that I meant what I said that night in the Hellmouth… I did, I do love you, and I know that you think that I was just…"

"I believed you."

"You did?" Buffy says with surprise. He had believed her, confusion clouds her mind. Then why hadn't he accepted her feelings that night, Buffy wonders to herself.

"I know I said that… I said what I said because I had to do what I did… knowing that you felt, no, not just knowing it, actually hearing you say those words… it was easier for me to leave thinking that we could never be anything, because if I knew that I was giving up a chance to truly be with you I couldn't stand it."

The quietness returns to the room once again, Buffy just stares at Spike after he finishes explaining his feelings and she feels like she might cry. He had believed her, and somehow that admission sent a wave of relief through her. She had spent so many hours wondering just what he had really felt, even questioning her own feelings; and now he was back, and Buffy has no idea of what she was suppose to do.

"I just don't understand… if you believed me then why, when you came back why didn't you tell me…I mean Spike, just how long have you been here?"

"It's…complicated, but then again it always is."

"The story of my life."

"I want you to know… when I first came back all I could think about was finding you."

"so what happened, why didn't you?"

Spike takes a deep unneeded breath trying to contemplate just why he hadn't rushed off to find her. Buffy sits eagerly waiting for his response.

"Honestly I don't rightly know… when I first got here I was like a ghost, couldn't touch or feel anything…I hung around here until about three months ago when, actually I don't really know what happened but here I am all corporal and all…I wanted to go off and find you right then, nearly did, but there was trouble brewing and I was needed…I guess after waiting for the right time to go and find you I just started to feel like it wasn't meant to happen, and then I started to think about how after all this time you must have moved on and… I guess I just figured that it wasn't right for me to walk back into your life... I ended up here because I was stuck inside that amulet that I was wearing that night, someone sent it here and I came out of it… I just can't help but think that there's a reason why I was sent here."

"I wish that you would have told me…I've missed you, things have been hard without you…and then to see you again after all this time here is LA, I…I don't really know what I'm suppose to do now, ya know."

"Yea."

A silence passes over them once more, both are searching for something more to say, and it comes down to Spike trying to pick up the conversation again with small talk.

"So… you're leaving tomorrow then, you're staying some place here in LA for the night then?"

"Yea, I have a hotel room down the block; I thought about staying with my dad while I was here, but…well you know how it is between me and him."

"Yea, I never did like him too much…wasn't right of him to leave you and your sis the way he did, I met him once you know."

"you did?"

"Yea, it was back before Red brought you back…he stopped by, picked Dawn up for the weekend, it was the first time I'd ever seen him put any interest into anything that she's done."

Buffy just smiles, he had really been there for her sister when she had been gone and she appreciated it. No, more then just appreciated, she respected him for it. There had been so many times when he had been there for her, and the people around her. He had messed up so badly in his life but he had always pulled through when she needed him. She could count on him. Buffy reaches her hand out and takes Spike's hand in hers.

"Thank you…for looking after her…for everything."

"…Buffy… Will you… would you just stay here with me tonight, I know I have no right to ask but…"

"Yeah."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, I will."

Their eyes meet and they simply stare at each other as if they were looking for the answers to all life's questions in each other's eyes. Then Buffy finally breaks her gaze by glancing down as a smile forms on her face. She looks back at him and notices that there's a smile on his face as well, after another second she stands up and moves the chair that she was sitting in back to the corner of the room. Spike just watches her, then as she moves back over to him he moves over a little to give her room on the bed. She climbs in next to him and he clumsily wraps an arm around her as she snuggles up closer to him.

"I've missed this," Buffy says sweetly.

"so have I."

Spike kisses the top of Buffy's head and the two of them fall asleep in each other's arms.