As Mulder made his way back toward his apartment, his mind was teeming with images and thoughts. The past few days all seemed like a blur to him. He glanced down at his hands and saw a quick image showing blood on them. Another image then flashed of him slamming Isabelle into the headboard as he fucked her relentlessly. He shook his head. Had he done these things to Isabelle? What was he doing with her in the first place? He loved Scully not Isabelle. He was trying desperately to remember what had happened when he and Scully had last spoken. He could see Scully standing by the door with tears in her eyes. Was he the reason for her crying? And now he was coming from the home of another woman, which would cause even more pain to her. How could he explain these things to her when even HE didn't understand himself? He had heard of cases with people suffering from unexplainable bouts of memory loss, waking up in places not knowing where they were. Another thought then came to him: was this a case of alien abduction? Is that what was happening to him every night? Did Isabelle have something to do with his abductions? Were they connected somehow? That had to be the reason for there could be nothing else between them. What other possible reason could there be for him to be with another woman? He didn't know just how he was going to explain things to Scully but he knew he had to try. He took out his key from his pocket and went to unlock the door but found it had already been done. He swallowed slightly as he realized there was only one other person who had a key. "Scully?" He called out as he opened the door. As he glanced around the apartment he could see many candles lit and picked up the faint smell of incense. This was not what he had expected at all. He had planned on some time to get himself together before having to deal with Scully. He closed the door behind him.

"I'm over here." Scully called back from the kitchen.

Mulder turned and walked toward the kitchen. "Scully, what are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?" Scully asked as she looked back at him. "I'm cooking, silly."

"I can see that." Mulder answered. "I guess the question I meant to ask is WHY are you cooking and what are you doing here?"

"I just thought I would surprise you. I mean, I know I could have just brought you over take out or…or even made this for you at my apartment but….

"I guess I just didn't expect you to be at my apartment, Scully. I had…planned on cleaning things up a bit before you got here. As you can see it's quite the mess."

"Mulder, remember I've seen your apartment MANY times before. It wouldn't be the first time I'd seen it in a state of disarray."

"Point taken. What are you making anyway?"

"Well, I thought we might take a second take on that gourmet meal." Scully answered. "Since the….unfortunate incident in my apartment which resorted to pizza."

"Hey, I tried."

Scully went back to making her chicken dish. "I have to admit I was surprised to find that you weren't here."

"Yeah, I uh stepped out for something."

"Must be a record for you because I've been here for nearly an hour." She turned to look at him. "Long errand?"

"Yeah, you could say that."

"Look, I know we didn't leave on good terms, Mulder. And I just want to…"

Mulder put his hand. "Look, Scully if you don't mind I need to clean up a bit. I had actually planned to do that when I got back here."

"Oh."

"Let's just say it's been a hell of a day and leave it at that." Mulder muttered. "Look, I promise I'll be quick ok? It won't interfere with your food plan, I promise."

"Well, it is your apartment after all, isn't it? It's only fair you get to use your own bathroom. I am technically a guest here."

"Scully, I'm not trying to make an issue here. How long till the food is ready?"

"Fifteen minutes."

"Perfect. Fifteen minutes is all the time I need to clean up."

Scully sighed. "All right but one minute longer and I eat your food."

Mulder smiled back at her and then headed into the bathroom. He quickly closed the door behind him and took deep breaths. He had truly not counted on Scully being here so soon. He was still trying to get things together in his mind on what had been happening. It almost appeared as if she already suspected something. What if Isabelle tried to call his apartment? She didn't have his home number did she? He moved away from the door and looked at himself in the mirror. 'It's ok, Mulder. Get a hold of yourself. You can't let yourself be upset over this or she will see right through you.'

Scully continued making her chicken dinner in the kitchen. It was true that she was kind of wondering just why Mulder was acting a little peculiar. But she mainly just rubbed it off due to the fact that is was she who had just shown up at his apartment unannounced. It was obvious that he had not expected that so how else would she have expected him to act? She was now beginning to wonder if showing up unannounced and making dinner was such a good thing. At this point, the last thing she wanted to do was make him upset. As she stared at her chicken in the pot, she kept getting the feeling that she was forgetting something. She pulled out her cell and called her mother. "Hi Mom. It's Dana."

"Hello, Dana. I didn't quite expect to hear from you so soon. Are you at Fox's?"

"Yes, Mom and I'm making dinner just like we discussed."

"The chicken dish I told you about? Oh good! It's nice to know that my mother's recipe is making the rounds. Did you have a question about something on it perhaps?"

"Actually, yes I did." Scully paused. "I couldn't remember if you said to put the cherries in the sauce before I bake it or after?"

"Oh of course, that is an important part of the dish." Margaret replied back. "Well, actually you take the cherries and you place them in the sauce before you bake it. See then when the chicken is baking in the oven, it allows the cherries to soften up and give it that special taste." She then noticed Scully's silence. "Dana? Is something wrong?"

"How did you guess?"

"This isn't because of your cooking is it? Is it Fox? Did you tell him how you feel yet?"

"No, I haven't and to be honest we have not exactly 'gotten off on the right foot' so to speak."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I shouldn't have just come here unannounced, Mom. It's very clear to me that he is uncomfortable with this situation." Scully sighed. "If he is feeling this way then how he is going to act when I tell him that I love him?"

"Regardless of the situation you have created you are in it now, Dana. You said that you love, Fox and now is the time to prove it. If you truly do love him then you will look over these negative feelings you have. And if he loves you the way he claims then he will look over any uncomfortablness he has as well. Walk away from this opportunity, Dana and there may not be another. And then you will question the rest of your life with 'what ifs'. You don't want that do you?"

"No. No, I…I don't." Scully paused. "All right, Mom. I'll…I'll go through with this."

"That's my girl. Now I'll leave you to your dinner. And Dana?"

"Yes, Mom?"

"You call me later and let me know how things went, all right?"

"I will. Thanks, Mom."

"Anytime, Dana."

Scully hung up her cell and placed it on the table. She thought about what her mom had told her and then cleared her throat. "Now, let's see about those cherries, shall we?"

Mulder stood in front of the mirror, shaving off the last of his stubble. In the time that Scully had been gone, he had not shaved once. He actually wondered why she hadn't said anything to him about it. He had gone before with 'five o'clock shadow' and she had practically lectured him. So why not this time? There were so many things he didn't understand right now and he just hoped that Scully wouldn't question him or he wouldn't have any answers. As he stood there wrapped in a towel, he let out a sigh. Normally taking a shower helped to relax him but not in this case. If only the water he had been standing over could really wash away pain and worry. If only the water could wash away this person he had become and allow the old 'Mulder' to re-emerge. But no, he was stuck with this person he had created and nothing could change it except the one who made it. He then heard a knock on the door.

"Mulder?"

"Yeah?"

"Your meal is ready."

"Ok, Scully. I'll….I'll be right there." Mulder rinsed his face and took a towel to wipe it. He knew there was no going back now. It was time to face his 'demons' so to speak. He unwrapped his towel and pulled on his boxers and blue jeans. He winced as more images came of him violating Isabelle. And then the image changed slightly as it became composed of blood. He could see blood on the sheets and the walls. He could then see a figure standing over Isabelle holding a knife. "No!"

Scully could hear Mulder's cry from the kitchen. "Mulder?" She walked back up to the bathroom door and knocked. "Mulder, are you ok?"

Mulder stood against the wall struggling to catch his breath. "Yeah, I'm fine." Oh great she had heard him. He would have to think of something quick. "It….it was just a big spider that came down from the ceiling while I was shaving."

"A spider?" Scully asked in a confused voice on the other side of the door.

Mulder opened the bathroom door and was now fully clothed. "Yeah. You've never had that happen before? I mean, I may be a man Scully but when an eight-legged spider comes down from nowhere and dangles in front of me while I'm trying to shave, it tends to startle me."

"Well, judging by that scream, it must have been a pretty large spider."

"Bite your head off man." Mulder replied back with a grin. "And I did NOT scream."

Scully gave him a look. "Sure. Fine. Whatever." She then headed back to the kitchen.

It appeared that things were back to normal between them. She had obviously bought the spider incident even though it had made him look like a wuss. Mulder walked after her. "Hey, I didn't!"

Mulder wiped his face with a napkin. "Well, that was definitely better than pizza."

"Well, I'm glad you liked it." Scully replied as she took a sip of her wine. "And we even managed to have wine without getting drunk."

"Yeah but remember what happened the last time we did that?" Mulder asked giving her a wink.

"Actually…that's what I wanted to talk to you about."

Mulder took on a bewildered expression. "Oh?"

Scully took a deep breath. "That night that we made love…it changed things forever."

Mulder swallowed. He should have known this happy atmosphere was too good to be true. "Are…are you saying you regret it now? Is that what you're trying to tell me?"

"What?" Scully shook her head. "No. No, that's…that's not what I'm trying to say."

"Huh?"

Scully put down her wine glass and reached over taking his hand. "That night….was the most wonderful night of my life, Mulder. It…it showed just how much you truly cared for me. And…it allowed me to be free for one of first time in years. It meant more to me then you will ever know."

Now he could feel the guilt settling in about being with Isabelle. "Scully…"

"Please, now it's your turn to let me finish." Scully replied with a half smile. "While I've been at Mom's I've….I've been doing a lot of thinking. I've been trying to trace through things in my mind that involve us. What we've been through together and how we've conquered so many challenges. And I've come to the conclusion that I wouldn't have made it this far without you."

"Scully, without me you could have been a medical doctor. You would have still had a sister…"

"And if it wasn't for you I would have died at the hands of a serial killer." Scully replied back. "I would…be lying in a morgue as the latest victim of Jeremy Reinsfeld. Instead, I am sitting here on a couch in your apartment, expressing to you how I feel."

"How…how you feel?"

Scully stroked his hand, as she looked deep into his eyes. "I know some terrible things have happened to us along the way but I don't blame it on you. I never did, Mulder. Without you my life would have been boring. I would have been living a normal, every day life with no kind of adventure. Not to mention you have opened up my eyes to so much. You've allowed me to see that there are more things out there beyond the realms of science." She chuckled. "And to think that the first time that I met you, I told you that there were no answers beyond the realm of science."

"Yes, I seem to recall that."

"What I'm trying to say is…" Scully took a breath. "I love you."

Mulder's eyes widened. Oh no she was NOT doing this to him! Not now! He couldn't let her confess such a thing to him before she knew the facts. He cared too much for her to let her get hurt. "Scully, listen to me."

"Did you hear what I said? I love you, Fox Mulder." Scully replied as her eyes twinkled.

"Scully, when you left….things changed."

"It was wrong of me to leave you the way I did."

Mulder sighed. "Scully, my behavior is inexcusable."

"I forgive you." Scully answered as she touched the side of his face.

Mulder blinked his eyes at her in disbelief. "I….you….what?"

"I know you acted the way you did because you've been stressing out. Because…we've been through so much lately. It was wrong of me not to be sensitive to your feelings, Mulder. And….I acted the way I did toward you because I was in denial of what I really felt for you. Sometimes….it takes some solitude and soul-searching to discover what is deep within us. But I know now." She then reached forward and kissed him gently.

Mulder returned her kiss for a moment and pulled back. "Scully, there's some things you don't understand about me."

"Then we'll discover them together." Scully whispered back before taking his lips again.

Mulder pulled back from her breathlessly. "You don't know what you're asking."

Scully ran her finger down his chest. "Yes, I do know." She then kissed him again passionately.

As Mulder felt her passionate kiss, he could feel his uneasiness melting away. There were no images in his head, no screaming. The only thing he felt was the love he had for this beautiful woman in his arms. Nothing else mattered to him now except spending this night with her. Tonight, he would spend his time reconnecting with her and remembering just who Fox Mulder was. His arms snaked around her until he was able to gently pick her up. He looked back at her for a moment before taking her lips in a fiery kiss. He then carried her back to his bedroom and closed the door.

NOTE: Just wanted to say thank-you to those of you who continue to read this. Again I apologize for not updating every week but RL makes it hard. I am hoping it will improve though as I am anxious myself to finish this!lol. I am going to be going on a MUCH needed vacation this week but wanted to get this chapter up before I left. I hope you enjoy it and there will be more to come I assure you!

Dana