AOU: i have decided NOT to answer reviews now...

Neji: It's finally become too troublesome, huh?

AOU: Yeppers!

Sasuke: whoopee...

AOU: I love Teen Titans again! WHOOPEE!

Neji: For once, I'm happy.

Sasuke: This means she'll get off our backs

AOU: I'm starting to not watch Naruto because shonen-anime isn't up! It's suspended! OH NO!

Sasuke: yay...

FIC START

"MANDA?" screeched Ino, who, for some reason, knew the giant snake's name.

"KATSUYU?" screeched Temari, who, for some reason, knew the giant slug's name.

The two summons stared at everyone. "Well, this is awkward..." said Katsuyu in the voice that doesn't fit her.

"No, duh." Manda said in the voice that everyone knows means 'i wanna eat you!'

("Oh, dear." sighed Tsunade. "They must've been using the 'bite-me-and-i'll-summon-Katsuyu-and-Manda' forks!" Jiraiya and Orochimaru looked at her with funny and awestruck expressions. Jiraiya spoke first.

"Tsunade, you're still manufacturing those things?" The white-haired sennin cried. "Looks like I'm not the only one of the Sannin who've become a major hit with manufacturing..."

"What have you manufactured?" Orochimaru asked in surprise.

Kakashi and Jiraiya looked at Orochimaru as if he had just said he was straight. "ICHA ICHA PARADISE!" They both screamed, waving the pink books rather obsessively over their heads. Asuma, Kurenai, Tsunade and Orochimaru just stared at them funny.

In case you're wondering, I haven't forgotten about Kabuto. He's still unconscious...)

"This is...surprising..." Gaara said quietly. Naruto, not really getting, decided to just do something cool and get everyone's attention. He bit his thumb and began performing hand seals. "Kuchiyose no Jutsu!"

("Naruto, you idiot! Summoning at this time..." Jiraiya shook his head. "He really isn't like Yondaime...")

There was a poof and Gama Bunta was sitting there. Sasuke growled and, yep! ANGSTY SASUKE! Damn that Naruto...I wish I knew that technique...Angsty Sasuke faded away as Kill-Itachi Sasuke came on full-force. Then, I can summon something cool like a snake or a panther or a giant purple slug or something and kill Itachi...Hahahaha...

$Sasuke's Dream$

Itachi and Sasuke were standing by that Uchiha cemetary mound thingy and Itachi was standing there, looking all cool with one hand in his jacket and one hand in the sleeve. Sasuke was ranting about kiling his family and crap while Itachi just stood there, all bored.

"I have a new technique, by the way!" Sasuke added, after pausing a bit in the middle of his speech. Itachi looked mildly interested. Perhaps, he could copy it with Sharingan! Ooh hoo, he was evil! Insert maniacal laughter and psycho theme.

"Kuchiyose no Jutsu!' Sasuke yelled, putting his hand on the ground. Since he was all cool and sexy, he didn't need a blood sacrifice!

A panther came running out and before Itachi could react, the panther ate him whole.

"Good boy!" Sasuke squealed, petting the panter. Then, there's this little soft, fluffy insert of Sasuke and the panther running in slow-mo in the middle of a field and running to each other, finally hugging and with this really dramatic music in the background.

(back to reality)

Sasuke began laughing maniacally out loud. Everyone just stared at him as he spouted nonsense like, 'Panther! Itachi! Kill! Flowers! Field!"

Ino and Tenten looked at each other and Temari whispered into Shikamaru's ear, "Do you think revenge has made his brain nuts?"

Shikamaru shrugged. "It's a possibility," He sighed and spouted his trademark quote. "Geez, how troublesome."

"Um...we'll just poof away now..." Katsuyu mumbled nervously. Manda poofed off, giving a 'feh' and Katsuyu followed suit, without the 'feh'.

"GEEZ!" Screamed Ino, hoping Alchemist of Uchiha could hear. Which she could. "STOP ADDING STUPID NONSENSE IN YOUR STORY! YOU'RE PROBABLY JUST TRYING TO MAKE SASUKE SUFFER BECAUSE HE LEFT KONOHA TO JOIN OROCHIMARU! STOP! YOU'RE MAKING EVERYBODY SAD! THINK ABOUT HOW NEJI WOULD FEEL! THINK ABOUT HOW TEMARI WOULD FEEL! THINK ABOUT HOW HAKU WOULD FEEL IF HE WAS HERE!"

"Um, we actually don't know whether or not Haku's a girl or boy. So, you can't really call him a 'he' right now until Masashi Kishimoto-sensei gives us further clues as to Haku's true gender." Tenten pointed out, sweatdropping.

"But Haku died, like, eons ago. So, Kishimoto, like, forgot about him or something." Kiba sighed in a voice that screamed 'duh'.

Naruto and Sasuke glanced at each other after Sasuke had calmed. "How do you guys know Haku?" They asked in unison.

"Alchemist of Uchiha." Was all they got...ooh...a mystery!

("I hope this Alchemist of Uchiha person adds something nice and steamy!" Jiraiya laughed wildly.

An elementary school-girl with shoulder length black hair and glasses popped up and hit Jiraiya hard on the head. Yes, that is what I look like in reality. FEAR ME!

"Wow, I thought you would be blonde." Tsunade remarked airily.

"Or at least be a real alchemist." Gai chuckled like Kureno. I forgot all about Gai! Sorry!

"Gee..." Alchemist of Uchiha sweatdropped, then poofed right out of the picture in an explosion of blue-and-black smoke.

"I'm really not used to people doing that in front of me." Sighed Orochimaru.)

"Wanna...keep singing?" Kankurou suggested. Shino glared.

"..." T: I hope you burn in hell, puppeteer!

"Wha-? Shino, did you just say 'I hope you burn in hell, puppeteer!'?" Kiba asked, turning to the bug-manipulator.

"..." T:..no

"S-S-Shino-kun! I know you're upset b-but.." Hinata eeped and hid behind Lee as Shino turned to glare at her.

"..." T: Don't try to comfort me.

"I know your pain." Sighed Sasuke and Neji. They were mad they weren't made Chuunin too.

So, we'll just save...the CHUUNIN EXAM between NEJI AND SASUKE...

FOR NEXT CHAPTER!

HAHAHA, I'M SO EVIL!

REVIEW!