Raven: Good gods, people, STOP DOING THAT! This is the second time I have received a review regarding my character bashing. Okay? This is my policy!

Policy that I had since I started writing fanfics: I will try to make everybody happy, however, any character I see that is un-important in my plot and the TV plot automatically gets bashed.

Raven: That's the way it is and WILL stay. This review is for chapter 1 but I am crazy and mad enough to put it in here:

Crazy4u: What kind of name is THAT? Anyway, I'm not taking time out of my fanfic-writing schedule to diss your name. You should know if you watch Naruto that Tenten is THE mother of un-important characters, okay? I like her voice, I like the fact she's Chinese, but she's NOT important! Why am I bashing her then? READ MY POLICY. Got it? If you've got a problem with how I deal with idiotic un-important people who lots of people THINK are important, don't read my fic and stop taking up space to tell me 'i hate your fic, screw you'. Okay? I've got ENOUGH problems in my life to bow down to you and say, 'I'm sorry I'm bashing Tenten. Will you forgive me?' I was given CRAP by people a long time ago about my lack of respect for Tenten and look, I MADE her important. You just review the first chapter and say 'this sucks cause you're bashing Tenten', well you know what? Lots of people like it and I like them! Okay? I'm sticking up for this story AND my reviewers! I'm not going to waste space anymore but you get the message: I can create a series of titles regarding my hatred for un-important characters, people who LIKE them, and people who flame and stop reading stories just cause their favourite charrie's being bashed or killed. This is my second flame in my LIFE. saki-kun beat you for number 1 flamer.

Nightwolf: Wow, she's mad. That's longer than the saki-kun tirade, I think.

Raven: This is a special review answer for nejithecagedbird:

nejithecagedbird: Wow, I feel special! You're pretty famous on the Naruto humour section! Yay! (big hug) Thanks for sticking up for me against the saki-kun thing. And for staying with this fic!

Raven: That was short, compared to the one for Crazy4u

Nightwolf: Special cases, Raven. Special cases

Raven: I don't want this story deleted so lets get on with the chapter...

FIC START

"NOOOOOOOOO! THE ONE TO KILL ITACHI IS ME!" Sasuke yelled while pounding his head. Hinata and Chouji, who were beside him, backed away nervously. "Ooookay, my freak-o-meter is going off. Hear that? That's my freak-o-meter." Kiba started making these annoyingly loud and obnoxious 'beepbeepbeep' noises and Sasuke glared at him with his eyes all Sharingan-y.

"Gai-sensei, fight ME!" Turning to Itachi, Sasuke continued his rant. "Itachi, after I kill off Gai, YOU'RE next!"

Itachi looked confused. "Little brother, why the sudden rage? Am I not your caring brother?"

Sasuke deflated. "Wha-?"

Itachi looked down at Tenten with a confused expression on his evil but cool face. "And why is that girl out cold? I only meant to glare at her. Is it because of my un-deniable sexiness?" He turned to the two remaining girls (Hinata and Ino) and asked, "Is it?"

Hinata and Ino stared at him and Ino pointed at Shikamaru, "I have him!"

Shikamaru got this 'man, is this troublesome' expression while Temari practically turned red with rage. She whirled out her fan, shouting out, "Ninpou: Kamaitachi!" Ino reacted quicker than you could imagine, dude! "Ninpou: Shintenshin no Jutsu!" She transferred herself into Naruto's body, which was closest, while her own fell to the ground, the wind shooting past her head. Thank god I'm not really that tall! Ino sighed in relief, and disgust that she was in the body of THE Naruto.

"Kai." Forming the Kai seal, she was back in her body before you can say, 'Kagemane no jutsu'

In case your wondering where the hell Shino is, he's still back somewhere in chapter 2 or 3, in Room 1. Yes, he STILL hasn't moved from there. Why? He's doing a head count of his bugs because he's worried some of them might have disappeared during the time he had been drugged. Well, you don't want to hear a story just about Shino doing a head count of his absolutely disgusting kikkai bugs so should we get on? Then again, Gai VS Itachi...Oh well! That is SO the anticipated battle!

And the most anticipated battle of all began.

Well, half-battle.

Gai kept trying to punch Itachi but Itachi, with that super-unnatural speed of his, kept dodging while looking confused and asking Sasuke. "Little brother, why is this eyebrow-man-in-green-and-red-spandex attacking me? Have I dont anything wrong?"

Sasuke sweatdropped as he listed off all of Itachi's horribly evil deeds. "Um, duh. First you kill our clan, turn me pretty much mentally unstable (which by the way, taught me Chidori), show up in Konoha, don't even stop to visit me to ask whether or not I wanted revenge, went after Naruto instead, broke my wrist, pretty much mind-killed me AGAIN, mind-killed my teacher and is currently fighting Naruto and Kakashi and Sakura and some random old woman in the manga version. Need I go on?"

Itachi paused, but ducked as Gai kicked at where his head had been a second ago. "Ah, yes, I remember now. Well, if that's it, I suppose I should just end it here and now."

"Wha-?" Sasuke jumped forwards, trying to stop the Dynamic Entry thing Gai was doing. Sasuke jumped with so much fear that...yes, he flew right over the two and crashlanded on the floor.

Itachi however was currently getting the hell beat out of him and after Gai slapped his hands together and said, 'all done!', Itachi faded in a cloud of pyreflies, like the fiends in Final Fantasy X do after you kill one. Sasuke freaked. "OMFG! Itachi! Where are you? I need to find you so that I can kill you!"

Ino sweatdropped. "He's still your brother, Sasuke-kun. You should at least feel a little compassion he was killed by a man with eyebrows ressembling pieces of furry duct tape stuck to his face." Ino looked to Gai, then back at Sasuke. She was about to say something else when she caught the evil Sharingan look in Sasuke's eyes and decided to stay shut up.

"Gai-sensei, fight me here and now!" Sasuke pointed a finger and Gai.

"It's not GAI-SENSEI, it's SUPER GAI!" Gai gave a wild maniacal laugh and Lee jumped forwards, declaring, "Sasuke-kun, if you want to fight Gai-sensei, you have to fight me too!" And...he ripped off his spandex and revealed an identical Super Gai outfit except he had a blue cape and a big 'L' on his chest.

"I'm SUPER LEE!" Lee yelled, displaying the Superman pose while on the ground.

Everybody sweatdropped.

"Um..." Sasuke stared at Lee in that funny anime style. "You're not really...who I want to fight right now..." Lee gave this really really odd look of triumph as he stuck out a finger and declared once more, well, more like he was yelling and his main objective was to bust out Sasuke's and everyone else's eardrums.

"SASUKE-KUN! YOU'RE ONLY SAYIN' THAT CAUSE YOU'RE TOO CHICKEN TO FIGHT! FIGHT ME OR BE CALLED SASUKE-CHICKEN FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!" Lee laughed maniacally while yelling out for the world of Naruto to hear, "YES! I'M SUPER LEE! MY VOICE IS TEN MILLION TIMES LOUDER THAN NORMAL! MWAHAHAHA! THIS IS A SPECIAL JUTSU KNOWN ONLY TO BIG-EYEBROW-MEN KNOWN AS..." He paused, struggling to remember. "Ah yes! THE MEGAPHONE NO JUTSU!"

"that's not a real jutsu though." Neji pointed out slowly as if giving a 2-year old a lesson in how to pee properly. Lee scowled.

"THEN WHY IS MY VOICE SO LOUD?" He demanded. "IT'S THE MEGAPHONE NO JUTSU!"

Neji twitched. Lee was seriously getting on his nerves. Walking up to stand next to Sasuke, he declared. "Tag team battle. Me and Uchiha versus you and Gai. Winners gets to act like gods in here. Losers have to bow down to our every whim." After a pause, he turned and pointed to the bystanders. "Inform Tenten this when she wakes up: All of you will be considered losers no matter who wins." Loud protests from the not-so-innocent bystanders. "Deal?" The white-eyed kid turned to his teacher and his teacher's mini-me.

"DEAL!" Lee agreed by spitting on his hand and offering it out like they always do in a very sickly fashion in those Redwall books.

Neji looked at the hand. "What am I supposed to do? Spit on it?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

Sasuke, who I forced to read Redwall with me, informed him, "You spit on your hand and shake it, sealing a pact."

"Ew. I'm not doing that." Neji grimaced and Lee frowned. "WHATEVER. LET'S JUST GET DA BATTLE STARTED!" And they charged at each other, Sasuke and Neji with their bloodlines activated and Super Gai and Super Lee with their Super Eyebrow Powers activated and...

(STOP)

Raven: Yesh, I'm stopping da fic there! Mwahaha! Bathe in my evil glory!

Nightwolf: Vote on who you think should win!

Raven: Main reason I'm stopping the fic? Simple. I have a life and I'm using it by reading fanfiction! If you think your story is REALLY good (if the story is SUPER good, then I leave a review, you see) and you want us to review your story, tell me in your review! Or if you find one really good and think I might like, cause I'm reading my eyes out on RobRae (teen titans) fanfiction, here, with the occasional dash of Red X and Raven, along with MalchiorxRaven...so...

Nightwolf: Anyhoo, Shino's Birthday, Shinobi Specialties and other works will be put on hiatus until we get this fic finished...I know, really lame, working on one fic at a time...

Raven: we tend to forget...also, my account, Storm Neko, is back on running with a nice little fic to celebrate our return. So, if you want something more on the action side, go and read 'Can Traitors Love?'.

Nightwolf: Yes, I never knew Raven could write romance. Yes, I better stop because Raven is seriously glaring at me...bye!