Thanks so much to anmodo for betaing this fanfic and to everyone that has reviewed.
Chapter 10
Danny felt as though he had lost control of his body as well as his emotions as he continued to sob into Jack's shoulder. He felt Jack continue to hold him and tell him that everything was going to be okay. He didn't know why he had started to cry or when he would stop, but it felt good. It felt good to release some of his tightly guarded emotions. But he knew things would be different now… now that he had broken down in front of his boss. How could they go back to what they were?
Jack continued to hold Danny as he let the long overdue emotions out. He tried to reassure Danny that everything was going to be alright and that he hadn't deserved anything that had happened. Jack just hoped that some of what he was saying was sinking in. If just half of what he said sank in, then he would feel vaguely happy. Danny was part of his team, his family. He felt on the verge of tears himself, but he couldn't cry now. He had to stay strong for Danny. Danny had been amazing. He knew from the moment he had met him that he possessed an incredible inner strength that made him stand apart. That fact that some animal had damn near killed, damn near broken Danny, made him sick, made him… He could not think of the words that could describe his anger. He finally felt Danny pull back.
"I'm sorry Jack. I don't know what happened," Danny said as he tried to gain control of his emotions.
Jack closed his eyes for a moment and hoped he wasn't back to square one. "Danny what are you sorry for? You have nothing to be sorry for. You were…are amazing. I don't how you escaped or how you survived but I couldn't have done it," Jack replied as he tried to reassure Danny.
"But Jack, I-, I," Danny said as struggled to come up with words that would make Jack understand.
"I don't want to hear you say any more negative comments about yourself. Understand?" Jack said as he put his hand on Danny's chin so he could look Danny in the eye.
"Okay. I will try," Danny said as he tried to move his head so he wouldn't be in Jack's line of sight.
"Good," Jack closed his eyes as he remembered the purpose of his visit. "I have some information about- about Molotov."
At the mention of the name Molotov, Danny felt his body tense up as well as his heart rate and breathing increase, "What?" he managed to say in a shaky voice.
"Relax, Danny. It's ok. Just relax," Jack said as he laid his hand on Danny's arm, "its ok, we just have some information on-" Jack paused as he remembered his agent's reaction the last time he mentioned Molotov, "we have some information on that animal's new identity"
Danny took a sharp breath. Would that mean that he would have to face Molotov again? Because he really didn't think he had the strength. "Okay," he managed to say.
"Whatever you want to do is fine with me, and I will back you 100 percent."
"I don't know, Jack. I really don't know." Danny took another deep breath. "I mean—is weird that I don't know? That if-" Danny felt himself shake as he was about to mention Molotov's name, but he had to because if he didn't, it would just prove to Molotov that he was weak and worthless. "Jack, if Molotov walked through this door right now I have no idea what I would do. I don't know if I would beat the crap out of him, or just sit here, or I would curl into a ball and cry. Is that wrong, Jack? Is it?"
"No. It's not wrong. The only reason I want to beat the hell out of him is that he damn near kill you. You're part of my team, part of my family. But if I was in your position, well firstly I wouldn't be alive. But if I was, I don't think I would know what to do," Jack said still watching Danny. He had said that he would back Danny 100 percent, which he would, but he would be so tempted to go back and kill Molotov himself. But that would be selfish, because this was Danny's war and going against Danny's wishes would be beyond wrong. "You know if you want to talk to anyone day or night, we're here for you, and all you need to do is to pick up the phone."
"Thanks, Jack" Danny said, still with a little emotion in his voice. He couldn't wait until he was released from hospital, not because he had a small fear of all things medical – well that was part of the reason – but so he could deal with his hell in private.
Disrupting their tense silence, Jack nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard his cell phone ring. "Malone" he answered. "Ok... right... I will see you in 20 minutes… right bye". Jack ended the call and turned to Danny.
"New case?" Danny asked, relieved that he could change the subject.
"Yeah, a 30 year old, married male, works for some top law firm. He hasn't been seen or heard from in 2 days," Jack replied
"He probably felt trapped and took off for a couple of days," Danny said on instinct.
"Probably, but when he's the son of the owner of said top law firm, us mere mortals jump. Anyway I might drop by later for an opinion on why Mr David Newport is missing or, more than likely, took off." Jack turned to leave but stopped. He had to make sure Danny was going to be ok. "Danny, remember what I said. Okay? Remember."
"Will do," Danny replied, half lying with a clenched jaw as more tears threatened to fall. He watched Jack leave and started to think about what Jack had said. Maybe he hadn't deserved it, maybe it wasn't his fault, and maybe he wasn't worthless. Whatever he had said to the team when he tried to make them believe he was worthless and he had deserved it, it hadn't stopped them from visiting; if anything, it had increased the visits. Feeling fatigue take over, he closed his eyes and fell into a nightmare-plagued slumber.
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Sam pulled up outside Danny's apartment and hoped that the elevator was working because Danny wouldn't have the strength to walk up five flights of stairs without feeling exhausted – she felt tired when she did and she was fully fit. She glanced across at the sleeping Danny, hoping to see that he was relaxed but from his twisted features she could tell he was quite the opposite. She slowly and gently placed her hand on his shoulder. "Hey," she said flinching as he jumped back. "Hey Danny, it's me – Sam, we're here."
Danny felt a hand on his shoulder and flinched. He quickly opened his eyes to see Sam and looked out the window to see they were outside his apartment. "What are we doing here?" he questioned Sam in confusion.
Sam eyed Danny with concern. "We're at your apartment," she replied.
"But Sam, the rent expired. I haven't been here for five weeks and the rent was due three weeks ago," he responded still confused.
"Danny," Sam replied. "We paid your rent. We all had this undying belief that you were still alive, so we paid it so you would have somewhere to come back to."
"Oh," Danny said shocked by their compassion. "Thanks, what do I owe you?"
"You don't owe us anything; call it a welcome home present," Sam said as watched Danny slowly get out of her car.
"Sorry to keep you waiting," he said as he tried to bite off waves of dizziness as he slowly made inside his apartment block.
"No problem," Sam said as she held the elevator for both of them. Thank god it is working, Sam thought as she pressed the button for the fifth floor. It was a slow and silent ride up to the fifth floor, but finally the elevator shuddered to a halt on the fifth floor. They both stepped out and made their way down to Danny's apartment. Sam opened the door and watched Danny step in hesitantly, before collapsing on the couch. She crossed the small room and busied herself with making coffee leaving Danny for a couple of minutes to be alone with his emotions and let his surroundings sink in.
"Good to be back?" Sam asked as she pushed a mug of coffee into Danny's hands and sat down next to him.
"Yeah," Danny said distracted by his thoughts.
"You ok?" Sam asked in concern.
"Yeah, I'm fine…just thinking," he replied as stared into his coffee mug.
"What about?" Sam asked as she tried to get Danny to open up a bit more.
"Just things," Danny replied as he continued to stare into his coffee mug. In truth, he didn't know if he was happy to be back at his apartment. He was happy to have been released from hospital, but this was where his hell had begun.
"You know you can talk to me about it, Danny. I won't judge you," Sam said as she tried to persuade Danny to open up to her.
"When I was in hospital they sent this psychologist around, and I couldn't talk to him. I don't know why, but I couldn't. He diagnosed me with something; I don't what it was. I wasn't listening. It was a long complicated medical term, but I just wasn't listening," Danny said as he talked into this coffee mug. "The thing is—I don't remember all of what happened. I remember walking into my apartment and the next thing I remember was waking up in that place."
Sensing Danny just wanted to talk, Sam kept quiet but moved her hand so it was covering his--a simple act that would tell Danny that he wasn't alone and that she was there for him. She waited for him to continue.
Danny felt Sam move her hand to cover his; he felt this gave him the strength to continue to tell Sam what he remembered. "T-they burned a number on to my arm," he said stammering, "53459, that was my name." Danny stopped and unconsciously touched the still healing wound.
Sam took a couple of deep breaths to control her emotions; she looked at Danny's shaking hands, and took his coffee mug placing it on the table. Not moving her hand from Danny's, she put her arm around Danny. Who the hell could of done this to Danny? No one deserved this, especially not Danny.
Danny felt Sam gestures comforting and enabled him to continue. "They kicked me and beat me with iron pipes. I have forgotten how many times they either held a gun to my head or injected me with some drug. It was fun for them to give me electric shocks," Danny said near in tears as he remembered the torture methods that Molotov and Dropshot had inflicted on him. He took a couple of trembling breaths before he continued. "Then they drained some of my blood. I was in and out of it for days. T-hey, t-hey then told me Raphi was dead and I was the prime suspect and that you guys wouldn't want me anymore. I lost it. I gave up."
Sam bit back tears. It was worse than she imagined. She found this so distressing, but she continued with her comforting gestures so Danny could finish telling her about his days in hell.
"I can't really remember much after that, until Molotov threatened me with a mutated Ebola virus. I was so scared, but knew I had to escape. I remember walking and getting into the truck and driving. I don't remember anything else; I didn't remember the conversation in the office, until Jack told me what happened," Danny paused, "Sam, Jack told me about the information about Molotov. I don't know what to do. He also told me I still have a place on the team, but what happens if this shrink diagnosed me with a condition that won't allow me to work for the FBI? If that happens, Sam, I will have nothing; I just don't know what I would do."
Sam couldn't hold it back any longer. She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him towards her. "Oh Danny!" she said as she felt tears fall down her face.
Danny felt Sam pull him towards her; he felt her head rest against his and her tears soaked into his hair. He felt as though a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He relaxed his tense body into Sam's arms and let the tears fall.
"I'm not a shrink, but maybe you just didn't trust the hospital shrink. Maybe you needed closure and coming home is part of your closure," Sam said as she stroked Danny's hair. "Don't worry about the FBI shrink thing. Jack will sort it out for you. I don't know what you should do about Molotov, but maybe that is part of your closure."
"But I am scared Sam. I really am."
"I know. I am too. But you're not going to have to do this alone. We will be there for you every step of the way," Sam said as she tightened her grip around Danny.
Danny felt himself slightly smile. He knew what to do now but he was still terrified. He sat up slowly and returned Sam's hug. "Thanks Sam. I now know what I have to do."
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Viv stood outside JFK airport with Jack and Sam as they waited for the boys to turn up. She knew that Jack and Martin would look after Danny while they were out there but she needed to make sure. Danny wasn't 100 percent physically or mentally by any stretch of the imagination. She knew that nightmares plagued his sleep, anyone could tell that by just looking at him. "Jack, are you sure we are doing the right thing?" Viv asked questioning him.
"Danny wants to do this and it's Danny's choice," Jack replied.
"Yes I know. But the poor boy barely sleeps or eats. Are you sure this is the right time do this?" Viv asked as she continued to question Jack. She needed to make sure that Danny was going to be ok.
"Viv, Martin and I will look after him. I won't let him push himself. We'll protect him; I promise you Viv. I will protect him," Jack said just as Martin's car pulled up. They watched as the boys stepped out. Jack eyed Danny with concern. Was he really making the right decision? Danny was skinnier than before, paler and had large dark bags under his eyes. Jack wondered when Danny had more that two hours of undisrupted sleep. They walked through the airport, quickly checking in before making their way to the security checkpoint.
Viv watched as Jack and Martin made their way through security. She glanced across and quickly grabbed Danny. Pulling a hat from her bag, she put it on his head and hugged him. "You look after yourself Danny and make sure you keep an eye on Jack and Martin," she said and slowly pulled back to look at him.
Danny looked at Viv while pulling off the hat to look at it. He slightly smiled. "You didn't have to, Viv," he said looking down at the Mets hat. "But thanks. It's really great"
"My pleasure," Viv said hugging him again. "You better go; your flight is being called." Viv broke apart again not before kissing him on the cheek. Viv watched as Danny walked through security and out of slight.
"He'll be ok."
Viv turned to see Sam; she had completely forgotten that she was there. "Yeah, I hope so." The two women started walk out of the airport both hoping that this trip would enable Danny to rest his demons.
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Jack was concerned since hadn't spoken a word since he had gotten on the plane. He just sat there staring out of the window lost in his thoughts. Jack watched as an attractive blond air stewardess walked down the aisle pushing the lunch trolley. She offered Danny lunch, which he politely declined. The Danny Taylor he knew would have flashed a killer grin and flirted a bit, but not this Danny Taylor. "Danny you're not going to have anything to eat?" he asked.
"No, I'm not a great fan of airline food," Danny replied not taking his eyes off the window, a gaze that would continue throughout the flight.
As the plane touched down at Duluth International Airport, Danny continued to stare out the window at the snow covered land. It was somehow tranquil unlike the storm that was raging in his head. He felt someone gently shaking him and his name being called. He turned to see Martin.
Martin looked at Danny staring out the window. He looked so lost. He began to wonder if they were doing the right thing. Was Danny ready for this he questioned himself? Reaching over he gently shook Danny. "Hey. We're here. Let's go." He watched as Danny looked at him with lost eyes, before he grabbed his stuff and started to walk down the aisle. "Hey man, are you alright?" Martin questioned, his concern mounting for his friend.
"Yeah, I'm fine," Danny said as he tried to get his bearings. Walking to the exit, he was met with a bitterly cold wind that felt like it had been blown straight from Siberia. He coughed violently as the icy wind stung his still healing lungs. He grabbed the side of the plane as the world spun wildly. He felt someone take his bag and grab his arm, steadying him.
Martin watched as Danny walked to the exit and stopped as he started to violently cough. He noticed how much the coughing fit took out of his friend as he held on to the side of the plane for support. Martin quickly stepped forward and took his friend's bag and grabbed his arm, trying to prevent Danny from making a head long dive down the steps. "Are you sure you're alright?" Martin asked his concern continuing to grow for his friend.
"I'm fine, Martin," Danny replied wheezing "just a little cold, that's all," as he pulled his coat tighter around his aching body, continuing to curse his weakness.
"Ok then" Martin replied. "You're not going to pass out on me?"
He heard a mumbled reply, as Danny started move off. Martin followed, always staying close behind in case Danny made a dive for the ground.
Jack just finished with the rental car company and turned. His brow knitted in concern as he was his two agents approach. Danny was as pale as the snow outside and unsteady on his feet, while Martin was walking just behind Danny as if to catch him if he fell. Jack chose not to bring this matter up now, but would interrogate Martin about it later. While waiting in line, he had called his 'contact', who had given him Molotov's rough location and the description of his car.
"Here's the plan--" Jack said walking towards the rental car park, "We can either check in to the hotel now and deal with Molotov tomorrow, or deal with him now." Jack eyed Danny, as he tried to gage a reaction from pale younger agent.
Danny looked at Jack and then at the floor. He knew Jack was waiting for his answer. He wasn't waiting for Martin's but his, but he didn't know what he wanted to do. He was exhausted and could barely keep his eyes open, but if he waited until tomorrow to confront Molotov, then he wasn't sure he could. "Can we do it now?" Danny asked.
"Are you sure?" Jack said eyeing Danny in concern, noticing that he could barely keep his eyes open.
"Yes."
"Ok then," Jack said as he walked towards the rental car. As they all got into the car, Jack pulled out of the parking lot onto Rice Lake Road and followed it south to Molotov's last known location. He quickly glanced across at Danny, who had his head resting against the window and was staring out. He wondered for the hundred time that day, whether or not he was doing the right thing, whether or not Danny was up to this.
After a short drive, they arrived at the banks of Lake Superior – Molotov's last known location. Jack and Martin watched as Molotov walked to his car, and pulled off – completely unaware of their presence. Molotov took the small lake-side road and drove towards French River. Jack kept his distance as Molotov passed through the small town of French River, and turned onto a dirt road pulling up by a lake-side cabin. Jack often dreamed about this lifestyle – a small lake-side cabin. It wasn't fair that Molotov had this handed to him on a platter, after what he had done. He stopped quite a ways back from Molotov and observed him, only taking his eyes off Molotov for a second to glance at Danny – who was still staring out of the window.
Danny continued to stare out of the window. He was completely aware of Jack tailing Molotov, but he didn't felt he had the strength to look at him. He tried to think about his actions, when he met Molotov again; should he kill him or… Danny felt himself fidget with his gun, as if he was envisioning himself emptying round after round into Molotov's head.
Jack noticed two vans with government plates pull up behind them. He watched as a couple of men in suits stepped out. Jack opened the door and got out identifying himself. "Jack Malone, FBI, New York branch," he said in a soft voice so not to alert Molotov.
The agent looked at Jack before identifying himself as well. "Roy Andrews, FBI Minnesota." Roy looked at Jack again, as he remembered where he had heard the name. "Hey Jack, forget we are here. I don't care what happens to Molotov. We can always make it look like a boating accident."
"Thanks, Roy"
"How's the guy who got tied up in all of this, who prevented the attack? Isn't he one of yours?" Roy questioned Jack.
"Yes, he's on my team and he's-"Jack paused, "He's fine."
"You must be damn proud to have an agent of that calibre on your team. I would be."
"Yeah, I am proud of him. He's amazing really," Jack said glancing at the car.
Roy watched Jack glance at the car. "He's here? Do you know what he's going to do?" Roy asked Jack.
"Yes he's here, but I have no idea what he's going to do – that's up to him," Jack replied.
"Oh right, look we are going to back off and let you guys have your space. But we will still be in range, if things go bad," Roy said as he signalled his agents to back off.
"Thanks," Jack said again, genuinely warmed by the Roy's compassion. As he stepped back into the car, he glanced across at Danny. "Are you ok?" He asked.
"Yeah, I think so," Danny said as Jack's question pulled him deep out of his thoughts.
"Danny you don't have do this, it's not still not too late to walk away," Jack said as he tried to reassure Danny. "No one will think less of you," he added.
"I'm fine, Jack," Danny said staring at his feet. He didn't believe what he had just said so what chance was there of Jack believing him?
"Ok, whenever you're ready," Jack said.
Danny took a couple of deep breaths and looked out the window; this was his chance. He just hoped he wasn't going to blow it. He opened the door and stepped out, hearing Martin and Jack do the same. He started to walk towards Molotov, not knowing how. He saw Molotov turn and look at him. He felt his body freeze up in fear. He closed his eyes to try and block the image before him, but this only made his nightmares envelop his daydreams. He opened his eyes again and his nightmares started haunt his reality. He stopped. He didn't think he could go any farther.
Jack watched as Danny stopped, but he hadn't turned back to the car so Jack stood his ground. He stood and waited for Danny continue or to turn back. He could see that Danny was trying to prepare himself for the impending confrontation. He could see Danny blink as though he was checking this wasn't a dream or more accurately a nightmare. Although Jack was waiting, he was as tense as racehorse before a race, just waiting to spring forward into action.
Molotov stopped what he was doing and looked up to see three FBI agents walking towards him, one of which was very familiar. He straightened up and leaned against the cabin wall. He started to taunt the familiar agent hoping to see the spoils of his work.
Danny watched as Molotov started to taunt him. He knew it was Molotov's way of breaking him. Trying to succeed in where he had previously failed. Then he felt it, he felt as though something had snapped inside him, and before he knew he was striding towards Molotov. He didn't realise he was there until he felt Molotov's throat in-between his hands. He then looked into Molotov's eyes.
Molotov watched as Danny suddenly approached him at a near run. He tried to back up slightly but the wall prevented him. The next thing he knew, Danny had slammed him against the wall and was staring at him with an intensity that scared him. "Kill me then…if you are going to kill me," Molotov yelled at Danny, "or are you weaker than I thought you were."
Danny backed off a little and loosened his grip on Molotov. He knew everyone was watching, but did he want to kill Molotov? He thought for a little while and now knew what he had to do.
"Molotov, unlike you, I have class and morals. Why would I want to lower myself to your level? You're not worthy of the poor people that will have to clean up your stinking body. I am not going to kill you, but mark my words—if you lay a finger on anyone, especially my friends, I will kill you, and it won't be a shot to the head. No Molotov. I will shoot you in the gut and watch you slowly and painfully bleed to death," Danny said as he stared at Molotov. He released his grip from Molotov's neck and turned away.
"Is that all you are going to do? Threaten me? It wasn't even a good threat, " Molotov yelled after Danny, "come on you useless piece of crap, come on. Kill me."
Danny carried on walking as felt his façade cracking. He had some how held it together in front of Molotov and the other agents but he didn't how much longer he could keep it together. He wanted to run back and shoot Molotov in the knee caps, but then he would be no better than Molotov. He quickened his pace as he felt he was about to throw up, turning he leaned against one the vans. He felt a hand on his shoulder and someone pushing a bottle of water into his hand. He looked up to see Martin looking around.
"Don't worry man. They are all dealing with Molotov," Martin said as continued to look around. Although there was nothing embarrassing about throwing up after Danny had confronted Molotov – he was sure no one else could have handled themselves like Danny just had – he knew Danny would feel embarrassed if anyone saw him like this.
"Thanks," Danny replied as he uncapped the bottle and took a long swig. He tightened his grip around the bottle and tensed up his arm, so Martin wouldn't see the tremors.
"Are you alright?" Martin asked in concern.
"I'm fine, thanks"
"Are you sure? I mean you didn't listen to a word Molotov said, did you?" Martin said still looking at Danny in concern. He was worried, that all of their work over the last couple weeks had come undone by a couple of words. That Danny would go back to the state in which he believed that he had deserved everything.
"I know you and Jack and everyone wanted me to kill him, but I just couldn't bring myself to do that. I'm sorry."
"Sure—Jack or I would have killed Molotov, but then we don't have that inner strength that you have. Man, I have no idea where you get the strength from but can I have some of it?" Martin asked, still watching Danny as he tried to gauge a reaction.
"Strength?" Danny said half smiling, "Strength?"
"Yes. Strength, Danny—something you have a lot of," Martin paused, "It takes a strong person to confront their tormenter, a stronger person still to kill them, but what you did Danny was amazing. I don't know how you did it…how you refused to lower yourself to his level. That… that was incredible. That's why you are stronger that any of us"
"Maybe," Danny said, the truth be told he felt better than he had in ages. It was as though the black cloud that had been following him was being broken apart by rays of sunlight. "Maybe."
"No maybes about it man. You should be proud of how you handled yourself out there. Jack and I sure are," Martin said as he leaned against the van next to Danny. "So are you alright?"
Danny felt himself smile, "I'm fine, Martin. I promise you--I am fine."
Martin watched Danny as he said those words that he had repeated countless times over the last few weeks, but this time there was something different about those words. He watched as Danny smiled. It was a true Danny Taylor grin and with that simple action he knew that Danny Taylor was back.
Fin.