A/N: Okay, a little thing to those who took offence to when I said the sick thing about Redwall: I read Redwall. Isn't that grand? Unless this is your first experience with my fics, you should know I've had two little fanfics about Redwall that I deleted due to lack of interest and proper usage of REVIEWING (glare glare). I'm sorry, dudes. I really like Redwall and all but the whole spitting-on-the-hand thing is sick. I mean, I don't know if it's just me and I had a bad experience somewhere in my life but whenever I read a line about something like that, I feel SICK. As in, 'holy crap, grab a garbage, I'm gonna hurl!' sick. Rakkety Tam was just awesome though, because not only did Brian Jacques actually REALIZE that a good amount of readers were just NOT laughing at his humour, and snapped in with humour that actually made me SMILE a bit (which is pretty easy depending on my mood), it was about SQUIRRELS! Yes, I just love squirrels. Moles are SO hard to understand, I just skip them. As for hares...um...can't say too much without dissing Redwall again!

Amberfox and Lyell: Naruto cast birthdays? Um...well, I have this manga book about all of them. E-mail me as to which characters, I'll flip through it, and I'll re-e-mail you! Or, you can do the simple way, and just look up Anime Birthdays like I did. I don't know how, but I got some radical sites off that search, like, a year ago or so. 0.o weird

FIC START

"Katon: Housenka!" Sasuke spat out all those pretty fire thingies, hoping that his Katon wouldn't explode like when he tried using Goukakyuu a few chapters, or minutes, or whatever, back in time. Lee and Gai just dodged them with that inhumane speed I would like to have. I SUCK at gym. Seriously. I get a C in it EVERY TERM. You know how traumatizing that is? That's the same mark I had since grade four and now I'm in grade six! At least I got a B last term but still!

"SUPER MEGAPHONE NO JUTSU!" Lee yelled. He paused, stopping in mid-air. It was pretty comical unless you were Neji or Sasuke. Then it wasn't THAT comical. He paused, thinking of what to say now that he had amped up his already super loud voice by ten million. "SAKURA-SAN, I LOVE YOU!" He yelled.

I do feel sorry for Kiba. I mean, he has super-human hearing and all! And all he could do was yell, 'make it stop! make it stop!' and revel in the glory of being comforted by Hinata.

"Um..what's going on?" Shino had just finished his head count and come downstairs, expecting warm arms and cuddles like, 'Shino! I knew you would be able to beat that forfeiter Kankurou so we decided to rebel against him and the senseis and make you a Chuunin! Just for you! And did your bugs do well? Yes, I hope those ikkle kikkai bugs did well! After that nasty wasty Kankurou killed off so many of your supply!" But nooo! He walked downstairs to see Gai and Lee in twin spandex costumes, Neji about to Jyuuken the living crap out of his teacher and Sasuke about to punch Lee, who was about to punch him.

"Did I miss something?" He asked, looking around in confusion.

"No, Shino. You didn't." Kankurou said sarcastically. "By the way, 'what's going on' are the first things you really said in this fic. How does that make you feel?" Kankurou's voice had a very mean jeering tone in it. Bad Kankurou! Don't you think I'm a bit too harsh on Kankurou lately? I wish it would be Temari and not him who rescued Kiba. Then we could see more of Temari's radical wind-control! I mean, Kankurou gets an entire CHAPTER devoted to him! Two of 'em! Fighting Sakon/Ukon and then Sasori! Poor poor Temari. All she did was summon and warn the Konoha people.

Shino got all mad at that. "Kikkai-jutsu: Yasuri." In case you're wondering, I THINK this is one of Shino's big attacks in Narutimate Hero 2. I mean, it's been long since I last played that game (still waiting for that transfer, Jenny!) and I don't really pay attention to what Shino's saying mainly because I don't like using him much (when he shoots out his bugs, they go too slowly and the honing system barely works! He SUCKS in the game! Chakra can be repaired manually so it's just a waste of my own Chakra and time!)

"Kuroari!" Kuroari jumped out and sucked all the bugs in him. But Karasu didn't go all spider-man and seperate and then jab into Kuroari and make blood come out and Sakon/Ukon/Kikkai bugs scream all scary-like. I just loved Sakon/Ukon! They were cool!

"Hello, people? The real fight's THERE!" Ino informed everybody, pointing to where Neji, Sasuke, Gai and Lee were still fighting dilligently, ignoring the sudden and very expected tiff between Shino and our dear kitty cat Kankurou.

"Dynamic Entry!" Gai yelled, kicking Neji backwards. "Neji!" Tenten yelled in that way she has. Jumping out of the Mangekyou Sharingan stupor, she ran over to him and got all mad. Whipping out a kunai, a senbon, about two hundred shurikens and one of those sickle things Kohaku from Inuyasha uses, she yelled, "Gai-sensei, what are you doing?"

Gai puffed out his chest. "Fret not, dear maiden. I will soon rid the world of that white-eyed menace!"

This got Hinata on edge. Walking over to where Tenten and Neji were, she puffed out HER chest proudly. "We are not white-eyed menaces!" She declared, not stuttering for about the third time. The first and second being somewhere in the Konoha Sports Festival (Thanks to Link and Luigi for the site!)

"Konoha Senpuu!" Lee yelled, tripping Sasuke in that way he tripped Naruto near the beginning of episode 22. Or somewhere around 22. Ah, so long ago. So many bittersweet memories of Sasuke. At least he was STILL IN KONOHA! AND HE DIDN'T GO BERSERK AND TRY TO KILL NARUTO! Grrr...

"Sharingan!" Sasuke copied the move and re-used it on Lee. Yes, mah friends! Even though Sasuke is evil and is currently living with a gay psychopath and his dumbass companion, he still knows the three R rules! Repeat it after me: Re-use, something and Recycle! I think. I dunno, I can't remember! Oh no!

"Konoha Senpuu!" Lee gave that squeak Naruto let out during episode 22 after Lee used Konoha Reppu on him, which was really odd.

Gai, although he sounded reluctant, he said. "Neji and Sasuke will both be able to become Chuunins after we get the freakin hell outta this place!"

Neji and Sasuke began to cheer, however, Kiba noticed something odd. "Gai-sensei, what are you doing here in the first place?"

Ino got really excited, and she began to hop up and down. "Gai-sensei, maybe you can rescue us and get us out of here!" But Gai puffed out his chest.

"No can do, mah friend! Toodle-loo! By the way, Lee, when you get out of this house, you'll have to do 200 laps around Konoha because you lost to SASUKE!" He looked VERY disappointed in Lee although I must say you can't blame eyebrow-man.

"Is it just me, or was that just really fishy?" Temari asked, raising an eyebrow and looking at the others around her.

"Man, that's just troublesome." sighed Shikamaru. Temari frowned. "You know, I'm beginning to get a little annoyed by that." Shikamaru, being Shikamaru, had a 200 IQ as everybody knows. That's the main reason he became Chuunin while Shino, Sasuke and Neji didn't! "I know." He sighed again. Because of his 200 IQ, he had already caught on to Temari and Ino liking him but what was his whole look on the thing? Three guesses. Ooh, times up. Answer is: 'How Troublesome'. At first, it was also, 'Ew, INO?' but then that faded cause it was pretty troublesome.

You know, as I'm typing this, I noticed that my hair is VERY silky now! Amazing! Y'all should seriously try this shampoo: Herbal Essences. It's great! Unless you're a boy or you just don't like Herbal Essences. Then I can't really force you. You know what Herbal Essences should do? Use fanfics and amazing young authors! Like, 'Use Herbal Essences shampoo: It gives great fanfic authors and authoresses great inspiration just when they need it!'

So, what's my inspiration? Absolutely nothing.

Anyway, back to the story! Kiba sighed as he stroked Akamaru's head. "I'm getting bored. Can we go to sleep?"

Everybody save Shino mumbled an agreement. Akamaru twitched an ear and barked shrilly in indignance. Kiba agreed loudly, "Shino didn't say anything! It's not unanimous unless Shino says something!"

"You can at least say 'aye aye' like they do in Redwall!" complained Chouji.

Everybody looked at him and Gaara commented coldly, "Judging by your IQ, I seriously doubt you can read Redwall."

"I don't." Chouji said, looking confused. "I just look at those mini-pictures at the top of every new chapter!"

Gaara and everybody else sweatdropped, even though the only people to have HEARD of Redwall were Gaara, Temari, Kankurou and Hinata, because Hiashi often made her read it to learn some fine leadership skills for when she became leader of the Hyuuga clan.

"So...let's go to sleep?" Suggested Tenten. Everybody mumbled agreement, including Shino, and they all went to their rooms and were all sound asleep within seconds.

Except Gaara.

Gaara looked at a permanent marker he had brought with him, then at his sleeping roommates. Shukaku was telling him to do it while Gaara said it was just plain mean. After a while, he decided Shukaku WAS cooler and stronger than himself so he did anyway.

You can so tell what Gaara did if you watched Pokemon and saw what Jigglypuff does whenever someone sleeps. By the way, doesn't my grammer just SUCK?

Anyway, you can safely say that if there was a contest for which anime character can act like their polar opposite from another anime, I'd say Gaara'd take the cake with this wondorous, full marks Jigglypuff act. Although it wasn't REALLY an act...

Raven: Mwahahaha! Gaara! You are EVIL!

Nightwolf: Guess what? Raven's family is accepting a homestay! We don't exactly count.

Raven: We have a financial crisis and although my mom's telling me not to tell anyone, you guys don't even know who the hell I am so there's no fault in THAT!

Nightwolf: So we're helping Raven's dad find work otherwise we'll have to move to a smaller house!

Raven: And all the bonds I've spent so much time on to build will be for nothing!

Raven and Nightwolf: SO HELP US, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!