They haven't told me to stop helping Kaname-san, which is strange. Usually I am not allowed to talk to people on the 'inside' of the family; I don't think they want any of the 'outsiders' to have extended contact with them. I work every day tending to his house. I see him often. His beauty is blinding. Once, I saw him smile genuily. I could only look at him in awe. He is beautiful when he is…energetic, but when he smiles I have no words to describe how he looks. It's as though light shines from his face, blinding. He doesn't smile like that often. None of them do. I wonder why?
They
still haven't told me off. Dare I hope that he has noticed me and
wants me near? I am so silly. How could he want someone like me near
him? He should be with company as beautiful as he is. Perhaps they
have overlooked my extended stay here.
I stowed away my diary, stroking its leather cover fondly. This has been my salvation. It is the only thing I can truly depend on to cheer me up when I'm unhappy, except for Sohma-sama, of course. I have to go to his house today and pick up things, clean, do his laundry again, and other trivial tasks. But since it doesn't take long since Kaname-san has gotten better, I normally speak with Sohma-sama. Just as I think about these things, there is a knock on my door.
"Ri-chan! Get out here now! Your father and I have something to discuss with you!" Okaa-san yells. I sigh. I hope they don't make me late this morning to go to Sohma-sama's home. I get up and open the door with a smile, and my mother has a shocked look on her face. I don't know if that's good or bad, since the last time she was shocked was when I asked her about my brother, Hiro, after visiting Shigure-sama's home. That was about a week ago now.
They sit me down across the table from them. I sigh sadly. 'They've always kept me at arms length, but it's been taken to an extreme lately. I wonder why?' I think idly. My Otoo-san just looks at me with a face made of stone. That's not normally a good sign, since I usually get hit for something when he looks like that. My Okaa-san looks at me with sad eyes, and her hands seem nervous, they're constantly moving as we sit in silence.
"Um…Why do you need to talk to me? I can't be late in helping Kaname-san. She needs my help with the big jobs…" I say nervously, my faltering voice reminding me that I am still afraid of my father. He has always struck fear into my very core. It's been that way since Hiro was born. I was his whole world until I turned 11 and Hiro was born. Then I was forgotten, and often punished for my curiosity in my younger brother.
"That's exactly why Ri-chan…your father and I… your father and I think you're spending too much time at Ayame-san's house. There are so many things you could do to be useful, and you spend all your time helping some old servant clean his house! That's her place, not yours. You may be 'outside' family, but you're not a domestic!" Okaa-san says with fury in her eyes. Otoo-san's expression changes to remorse for a quick, fleeting second, then he returns to his stony demeanor. If I think about it, he is much like Hatori-sama. Always hiding the way he feels.
"Rini…you're an adult now. We can't vouch for your mistakes. But this is one we don't want you to have to go through, for once, don't try to learn the hard way…you'll only get your heart broken. If Akito finds out about you becoming close friends with that flamboyant, foolish, egotistical, doesn't have an I.Q. point to his name, and childish Ayame Sohma…you'll get hurt. We don't want that for you," Otoo-san says gently. My fists are clenched in my lap, and the hem of my black blouse is becoming frayed and stretched because of their tight grasp. I can see my knuckles turn white and I feel my face flush in anger, while tears sting my eyes.
"WHY NOW? Why do you care all of a sudden? The one time I find happiness, and you're willing to take it away! He makes me HAPPY! Something neither of you have made me since the day my younger brother Hiro, whom you have REFUSED to let me see the past 12 years, have given me! You don't make me happy, while he does! When I seem upset, he always comforts me. When I am tired, he invites me to talk and rest for a while. When I seem happy and at ease, he smiles like he's happy for me. You are never satisfied, you're never proud, you're never happy for me. Instead of saying, 'It's nice you've found someone who makes you happy, and makes your day light up with joy the moment you see him, who makes you want to spend forever with him,' you say 'I think you should stop seeing him"! I WON'T! I don't CARE what Akito-sama thinks! I don't CARE what you think. All I care about, is making Sohma-sama smile more often. To see him happy for once would give me meaning in life…and even if Akito-sama doesn't approve…I can say with a smile on my face, that I had the chance to be truly in love with him. And isn't that enough? Don't I at least deserve to be able to love one simple man?" I scream in an outburst, surprising even myself. In the spur of the moment, I walk out the door, but pause at the doorframe, throwing a comment back at them. "And Otoo-san? If you EVER say those horrible things about Sohma-sama again…I will not hesitate to slap the face that those ugly words come out of."
I storm out, but once outside, I break completely. 'I cannot go back to them anymore. I understand what I've done, this feeling of love I've developed, is unforgivable in their eyes. Why should someone like I, a shallow mockery to the very name Sohma, be allowed to fall in love with someone as kind, and thoughtful, and sweet, and needy as he? Should I really be able to fulfill that need in his heart? No. I must keep my feelings hidden from him. He mustn't know. No one can know anymore, my parents already know. I must try to forget him. I must will myself away from him.' I think as I run to the garden by Momiji-kun's home, then fall to my knees as I stand among the pink and yellow roses in his garden. 'But I can't.'
A pair of soft footsteps comes up behind me, and I realize the same small hand on my shoulder as the last time I had a breakdown at Kazuma-sama's house. I look up and see the same sandy-haired boy with the deep brown eyes and I smile through my tears. His features soften and he breaks into a weak smile as he hugs my arm fiercely, burying his face into my sleeve.
"Onee-san…don't cry. Don't let our mother and father make you cry. It hurts every time I see you cry, or they tell me you've been crying or upset. I'm sorry. I'm sorry they wouldn't let me see you…I'm sorry you were hit so many times just because you asked to see me…" the boy said, his voice shaking, and I think he was almost to tears. But then my mind registered what he had called me.
"Y-you're my brother? You're Hiro?" I say, my voice shuddering through the tears of pain that have turned to slight joy. He nods into my sleeve and I lay my head on top of his with a smile on my face. My hand finds its way to his hair and I run my fingers through his soft, sandy locks.
"Go to the stupid rabbit's house Rini-chan…you can stay there, and Kisa and me will get your things for you, okay?" he asks weakly, more of a command than a suggestion. I hope beyond hope that Kaname-san will forgive my absence. But I cannot go see Sohma-san today. My heart cannot take being crushed with the memory of my parents' cold words, and I should be happy, since I have finally found my little brother Hiro. I nod and he leads me into Momiji-kun's care, and then runs off with that same little girl as before to our home. I suppose she's Kisa. I hope I get to know her in the future, my brother seems fond of her.
"What happened Rini-chan? I'm sorry I couldn't help you…but that's ok! Since Hiro was there to bring you to me! Let's call Ha'ri' and Diana! They'll come over today when they hear it's for you!" Momiji-kun chirps ecstatically, making me smile once more. Perhaps…perhaps I CAN manage to stay away from Sohma-sama…but I'll need so much help from the people I love.
(Ayame's POV)
I tap my fingers on the table impatiently. 'Where could she possibly be? What could be keeping her? It's been 7 hours now. It's 5:00 pm now. Kaname-chan came on time,' I think. 'But Rini-chan wasn't with her.' Kaname-chan must be noticing my reaction to her absence because she just smiles in this odd, faraway manner. It's like she knows something I don't. I'll have to find out what she knows. I get up and look for her, if only to take my mind off of Rini-chan's absence. The house fells a bit empty without her around, and I definitely don't want to make this a regular occurance.
"Sohma-san? What's wrong? You look troubled," I hear her soft, sweet voice, and I spin around. But to my surprise, I only see young Kagura, and with her Hatsuharu. My mind must be playing tricks on me, and I'm sure they noticed my face fall a bit. At least Hatsuharu did.
"Oh, don't mind him Miss Kagura. He just thought for a second you were his little 'maid-chan', as her now permanent nickname is. He's just got a case of Spring Fever, so he thought you might be her since she's not here helping me ta' day!" Kaname-chan says with a bright smile, as she brings in a laundry basket, that Hatsuharu presently takes away and takes to my room. Kagura smiles and takes my arm, leading me to the table again to lounge and chat. Kaname accompanies us, and Hatsuharu is making a mess I think, since I hear more than necessary rustling of clothes from upstairs.
"Really? Who is she? What's she like? Do I know her? Is she a Sohma? Does she know about the curse?" Kagura fawns, asking more questions than even I ask when I'm curious. Kaname-chan smiles and laughs in that manner like she knows something again. And what is with this 'Spring Fever' talk?
"Yessum. Her name is Rini Sohma. She's such a sweet, yet timid girl. she's the kindest thing on two legs, you probally don't know her, but I heard from Young Master Shigure that she's Young Master Hiro's older sister. She doesn't know about the curse, since her parents forbade it for fear of Akito. She matches to Ayame-san's manner and demeanor so well, and she sits there for hours listening to every little thing that comes out of this foolish mouth of his!" Kaname-chan says.
I frown. 'I am not foolish. And she doesn't hang to every word I say. She's only keeping me company when I'm not at the store, and eats with me when Kaname-chan leaves. She's nothing more than a companionable friend…isn't she?' I think uncertainly. Hatsuharu comes down, a placid look on his face as usual. He sits across from me and studies me in that strange, quiet manner of his, with his chin perched in his hand. He looks like Gure-kun when he looks at you sometimes.
"Uh huh…I get it….so that's how it is…" he says. He's really a confusing boy. He gets up and turns to leave. "Ayame-san? Be careful…I have some researching to do…"
"Ahhhh! Haru's getting involved too! How nice! Before you know it, we'll be hearing two sets of wedding bells!" Kagura squeals happily. Kaname-chan looks confused.
"Whom might those other pair of bells belong to? Diana-san and Hatori-sama?" she says quizzically. I smile, she has yet to hear Kagura's "Speech of Devotion", as I call it. Kagura gets up and smiles, then looks skyward, throwing her arms out.
"Why, me and Kyo of course! I'm going to marry him, and we'll live happily ever after! Just like in a fairy tale! My love for him never wavers, and no one can change my mind or take me away from him! Every time I see him, so much love wells up inside of me I fell like I'm going to burst, and I can't hold it in anymore! He's the only man in my life, and he always will be! I'll grow old with Kyo until the end of time, and nothing will separate us, absolutely nothing! And since we're both zodiacs, we can even hug each other!" Kagura titters on happily.
I have to smile and commend her devotion in the face of adversity. I clap softly, and she smiles. She is obviously happy that she's won my approval of her and Kyonkichi's unyielding love. Well, it's more like her unyielding love for Kyonkichi, but things may work out in the end. Life has a funny way of working out in your favor if you wait long enough.
"But…does Master Kyo even return your feelings, Miss Kagura? If he doesn't, you can't force your love on him. Maybe I can help if you lend your ear to me. There's two things I know like the back of my hand, love, and housekeeping. And if you force a love on him he doesn't want, you're just pushing the lad away. And the more he runs, the more you'll chase, until all you have is a broken heart once you realize he's got it in for another young lady. And besides, I always thought he fancied that young Miss Tohru Honda that Shigure-kun brings around every once in a while," Kaname-chan says.
I scoot away silently. She doesn't know what wrath she may have just put upon us. Gure-kun and Hari-kun have tried to tell Kagura the same thing, but she just throws a temper. A very violent temper that tends to break things. And not trivial things like Gure-kun's door either, things like MY door.
"Hm…" Kagura says, a sad tenor in her voice. "Maybe you're right…I should let him come to me more often…ok! I'll try it Kaname-san!"
"What? You never listen to Gure-kun, or Hari-kun, or even ME, the foremost expert on romantic fantasies, when we tell you the exact same thing!" I say in disbelief. She shrugs and goes into one of her 'feminine moods' as Shigure-kun calls them.
"Well yeah, but you're men. It's different when it comes from a fellow woman! You're all really good at giving advice, but it means more when it comes from a girl. And you don't follow advice very well either! Hatori-san told me that you always turn all of Shigure-san's and his advice into words and actions that just push Yuki-kun away quicker! You should take Kaname-san's same advice too!" Kagura snaps, finally showing her temper, but it's directed to me.
Kaname-chan just has this look on her face that screams 'I told you so'. I just can't even believe that'd she'd be so smug. I mean really! I don't act that way when I'm right. I am the most humble of humble persons when I give advice, or when I take it. Or even when people are showering me with praise, as they often do. I take it all humbly with a nod and a smile and a polite, "Yes, I know. I AM one of the most talented, and definitely one of the best!"
"Hmph. Anyways, what's all this 'Spring Fever' talk about, and wedding bells. I don't follow you Kaname-chan…" I say, changing the subject abruptly.
"Really? That surprises me, since you boast about being the best in romantic ideals. Do you really not understand? Oh well, Kagura-chan, I think we should leave him to his thoughts. He's man enough now at this age to figure it out, at least I hope so. Even Master Ritsu and Master Momiji would've figured it out by now!" Kaname-chan says with a laugh, and they leave, since Hatsuharu did Kaname-chan's last chore.
I go to my workroom, but I cannot muster the energy to make anything. Rini-chan's absence has affected me in a more dire way than I thought to begin with. What shall I do, if I can't even work without her to tell me how beautiful something is as she looks over my shoulder as she's straightening out everything? I look around the room. It really does look more professional now. The patterns are all in a file cabinet that I didn't even know was there since it was buried under fabric. The fabric spools are hung up on racks on the far wall, and are much easier to find now. The pins, needles, and thread are in their sewing kit box and aren't constantly getting lost. And my dresses and finished creations are hung up in a closet that was also undiscovered until she uncovered it. I still remember how surprised she was to see this room was so large. And quite frankly, that was the first time I was surprised myself in quite a while.
"Oh! Sohma-san! Look how much room you have! I thought this room was very small before, you were just being messy it seems!" Rini laughed. She has the most beautiful laugh.
"Yes, it seems like it. I honestly didn't think it was that big myself Rini-chan! And how many times do I have to tell you to call me Ayame?" I scold, though I'm not too demanding or rough, just a bit playful.
"At least once more, Sohma-san!" she smiles. Her eyes are beautiful when she smiles. They're like a green lake, and it shines when she's happy. I hope I never see those eyes in discontent, or her delicate lips turned in a frown. I just want to see her as happy and as excited as she is now.I shake my head of these thoughts. I shouldn't be thinking like that really. It'll only make me miss her. 'But…I wonder. What if what Kaname-chan and Kagura-chan were implying was true? What if…what if I DO feel something more for Rini? Could that be why I feel so incomplete without her here? No.' I resolve. 'She's only a dear friend, that just happens to brighten my day. Just like Hari-kun and Gure-kun!'
I can only hope that my suspicions are wrong. I don't wish to make her unhappy, like Hari and Kana. I want to see her smile always. I want her to be near me only so I can protect her and make sure she's happy. That's what a friend does…isn't it?
(Shigure's POV)
I sit by Akito as he watches the birds, like usual. I'm waiting for his orders on Ayame and Rini. I don't wish for their just now budding affection to be stamped out, but Kisa says that she's already found Hiro. So it's only a matter of time until she's learned about the curse. I can't help it if Ayame's hurt by this. He'll thank me one day, for nipping this quickly. This way, they won't be hurt. Akito sighs and looks at the setting sun.
"Let them be Shigure…we'll watch for a while…then, when the time is right …we'll end it all. So just watch them and report to me," Akito says.
I bow my head obediently. All I can do is obey. I'm curious to what Akito has planned, but I suppose he'll make that known to me eventually. He always does. Always. He wouldn't make me hurt Aya, and Rini seems like a sweet, harmless girl. Just like Tohru-chan. Perhaps he'll let her stay around just like Tohru. Who knows Akito's motives. All I know, is that if the time comes that Ayame's loyalty to this family and to theJyuunishi falters, I won't be able to make the choice to stop whatever feelings he may have. I will have to do my duty as the dog, the protector of the family, to keep her from endangering us. And I won't be able to spare his heart from breaking if it comes to that.
I just hope he's not foolish with himself.
"Yes, Akito."
(An: I've been forgetting the disclaimer, so yeah. I don't own Faruba. But I own Rini, her parents, and Kaname…duh. Anyways, sorry if Shigure, and Ayame for that matter, were a little OOC. Keep reading and I'll post chap 5 soon!)