CHAPTER 2: BREAKING THE HABIT

Holy angels now are bending to receive thy soul ascending

Up to Heaven to joys unending, and to bliss which is divine;

While thy pale, cool form is fading under Death's dark wings now shading

Thee with gloom which is prevading this poor broken heart of mine!

(E.A. Poe)

I sense him in front of the bathroom door. He hesitates at first but he then turns the knob and enters. I'm lying in the bathtub with one of those vacant expressions of mine on my face. Without a word, he kisses my forehead and gently starts cleaning up my bloodstained face. He then shifts and touches the repulsive, festering marks that adorn my body like I'm some sort of morbid, apparently human X-mas tree. They stop hurting and oozing whenever Sirius puts his hands over them.

I remember that once, Padfoot and I went to a Muggle amusement park and there was an old gipsy lady that invited us both to get our future told. I was hesitant and prudent but Sirius didn't bother to take the time and think about it, so he pulled me inside the woman's grotesque caravan. She told us some abominable idiocies that reminded us both of Trelawney. But there is one thing she said that made me shiver when I realized how close to the truth she was. She said that there will be a time of great grief in my future and that the only one to help me was a "serious and brave paladin".

'What do They do to you, Moony?' he asks crestfallen as he felt a deep gash under his careful fingertips.

I refuse to tell him that. He doesn't need to know all the upsetting, disgusting details of how They come and immobilize me, rape me and then carve Death marks in my flesh with silver objects that look like some sort of broken scythe. How I wait for Them to stop and go away and then how I lay in my own wretchedness and blood and whimper hopelessly like a beat up puppy.

I look at him with wild, amber eyes and struggle to fake a smile. Of course, he doesn't buy it but knows that it means I put an end to the discussion. He smiles back at me bitterly and hands me a towel.

I miserably put on a black T-shirt, some bleached jeans and a pair of cruddy biker boots that I won at a poker game some time ago.

Sirius looks me up and down and grins widely. I smirk at him too. Somehow, it's impossible not to return him a beam, no matter how bad you feel.

'Don't give me that look! Unless...you want to make James's stomach churn when you tell him why we're late...' I say with an innocent look on my face, though my eyes always betray me.

'No, I don't want to be late but your fanny looks so hot in those pants.'

'Shut up, Sirius!' I tease.

'I didn't say anything...too offending...'

'Of course not, love! C'mon, let's go!'

A.N.: First I would just like to thank the people that (to my big surprise) reviewed. You guys rock! Plus, I checked out your stories (well, titles, cause my time is too limited to have already started reading but rest to sure that I will read all of them) and they all sound very promising. And I even found some fanfics about that show, "Passions"! Wow! I used to watch that with my Mom! Even my Dad watched it! I'm speechless...