RumpleStella
Do you remember the story of Rumpelstiltskin? I am sure you have. Well, we have created a very funny parody of the fable called RumpleStella, a new version, that takes place in the year 2005, and is about a gambler, who lives with his son, in a shack. The father then sells him to the big boss of the Rottisserie Factory, to make money out of poop. Without further ado, sit-back, and enjoy.
Scene 1: Dad is talking to Larry King in his office. He is very desperate for gambling money. He would do anything for some cash as he lives in a poor ghetto community. It is late at night.
Dad: (Slams the desk) I want money! I want to gamble again! Give me some money! (Holds his head tightly; moaning)
Larry King: How much are we talking about here?
Dad: SO YOU"RE GONNA GIVE ME THE MONEY (says this while smiling)!
Larry King: Probably not…just tell me your price
Dad: Let's see. How 'bout…3000 dollars?
Larry King: (sarcastically) Very funny. Now get out of my office you ghetto boy.
Dad: Wait! Hold on. I can sell you something.
Larry King: (pauses) I'm listening. (Dad leans in to speak with Larry; he whispers)Oooohh….sounds gravy, just gravy, bring him to my office tomorrow, and we'll talk. (Dad walks out giggling; Larry goes too).
Scene 2: Dad is talking to his son. What did Dad say to Mr. King when he whispered in his ear? We are in the early morning now. Watch and see what happens.
Son: YOU DID WHAT!
Dad: (faces other direction) Son, I only did it because I though it you deserved a better life.
Son: Is making me a slave going to give me a better life!
Dad: (faces back)But you don't want to forget the best part—you are going to be making money out of poop!
Son: WHAT? How could you! I hate you! HAAATE! (He runs into his room)
Dad: Fine, shed your tears. ♪ Money, money, money…uh huh… lots of money in a rich man's world ♪ (walks off stage humming the song).
Scene 3: Dad brings his son to the office to negotiate the sale of his son.
Larry King: (walking around Son)That's it? Well, I'm not impressed.
Dad: But…why not?
King: He doesn't look like he's ready to do the work. Can you say the same?(points at Son).
Son: (looks enraged) I didn't agree to it in the first place! It was the MORON(points at his father)!
Dad: (saddened)How can you say that to your father my son? I love you.
Son: (spits on his father while Dad tries to hug him) Nuuuuu! Don't touch me! Germs!
Dad: OOOOOKKKK. Bye then. See ya. Wouldn't wanna be ya!
Larry King: Here (gives him an envelope). Enclosed is the money. If he can't do the job, then your bumbouklat is sued.
Son: C'mon daddy, don't do this. Don't you love me? (Begins to cry)
Dad: (sarcastically) please just shut it now. I have to go to the slots (puts his hands up in the air). KA-CHING. MONEY, MONEY, MONEY (carries while walking out)!
Larry King: Come on now (holds Son tightly).
Son: (begins to cry) NOOOOOOO! (dragged of stage by Mr. King)!
Scene 4: King is with Son and is ordering him around. David will also meet a magical creature for the first time. It is early morning.
King: Get in there. (pushes Son forward)!
Son: (Frowning) But I can't do…
King: Don't speak, it's not in your job description.
Son: Really I… I have a job description?
King: I don't quite know yet, anyway, this needs to be finished by tomorrow. Get to it. (Leaves and closes the door behind him)
Son: He can't do that! I have rights! And, sniffle now I have the sniffles…(begins to cry)
(Enter magical creature)
Creature: gasps What happened?
Son: Sadly, I have been ordered to make money out of…that. (points to pile of poop)
Creature: Oh? Well every morning I have to take a shower, do my nails, take another shower, straighten my hair, eat breakfast, brush my teeth, shower, and put on some nice clothes. We've all got problems.
Son: Well, you look like a magical creature, can you do it?
Creature: If I can get myself to look this beautiful every day, then there's nothing I can't do cutie.
Son: Err, yeah. Can you do it for me?
Creature: Well, I have noticed how repulsive it looks… mmkay, I'll do it!
Son: That's great! Uh, do I have to give you something?
Creature: No, I'm too (flips hair) extravagant, to be a jerk.
Son: (shocked)That's great!
Creature: Okay here goes. (snaps fingers) (the poop turns into money)
Son: (amazed)How do you do that?
Creature: I watch Queer-eye. Alright then hunny, buh-bye! (rumple leaves)
Son: Wow, that doesn't happen everyday. No, it doesn't really happen at all. (Yawns) Good, the job's done, and I didn't have to do it. I think I deserve some sleep. (falls asleep as the curtain closes)
Scene 4: Mr. King goes to the son's room. It is early morning. Due to the sound of the door, Son wakes up.
Larry King: Wow! To think you could actually amount to this. Especially from the family you came from. You get…5.
Son: Really? How much is that?
Larry King: I'll pay somebody another 5 to work that out for me. You'll get it in the mail, now go home, or, wherever you live.
Son: Alrighty. (gets off the floor, and starts to walk out the room)
Larry King: (pauses) Wait a minute, this money is…fake! They're all 4 dollar bills! (sniffs the money) Gahh! It even smells like poo!
Son: Uh-oh… (begins to run)
Scene 5: While running out of the rotisserie making factory, the son runs into Rumple on the way.
(Enter magical creature)
Creature: Oh wow, long time no see.
Son: Uh, we saw eachother last night.
Creature: Really? Mabye I forgot while I was turning this poo into money for some kid…
Son: Yeah, that's me. Um, can you tell me your name please, I didn't get it yesterday.
Rumple : It's Rumple Stella, but you can call me Rumple for short, mmkay?
Son: Well hello there Rumple, you know that money you made for me? It's counterfeit! I suppose you learned how to make them on Queer-eye too?
Rumple: That show teaches you everything! Isn't it amazing?
Larry King: (walks in) I'll have you put in jail for this child!
Son: It was her, Rumple! She made the money! I was trying to tell you that I couldn't do it earlier.
Larry King: (looks at Rumple) Is this true? I hope you know that the poo cost me money. So turning it into counterfeit money is technically stealing. I'll have you arrested for this!
Rumple: Uh, technically it's turning poo into dollar bills. But I thought a little green would look nice in that room. Because, your carpet and drape scheme, eeww!
Larry King: Fine, then you're coming with me, and you're going to jail. Not the fun jail with the pool and recreation. The man jail.
Rumple: I get to go to JAIL? The man jail! That's amazing! I get to be around guys 24/7, guys with nice bodies, and the influence to take their shirts off! TAKE ME! (Rumple holds out hands. Larry grabs them, and exits the stage from the left side with Rumple)
Son: Well, that's over…but I don't really have anywhere to live…
Narrator: (xr) Poor guy, what ever will he do? (puts arm on son) Well, luckily for him, he gets a happy ending. Larry King eventually sues the gambler for cheating him. But then the Gambler has a sudden Heart attack, and dies! But, he leaves with his son his will. The gambler had a happy ending too, because he got to gamble one last time before death. Over the years when he was gambling, he'd been putting his winnings away, and they were to go to his son, which was written in his will. There was 1,000,000 dollars, that went to the son. He was able to pay Larry, which made Larry happy, and it was enough money for the son to buy a new home, and start a successful life.
(Curtains close, all players come to center stage. Curtain opens. Cast bows, curtain closes. The End. W0rt…)