A/n: Yay! An update! Hoorah!

Thank you all for your wonderful reviews. I feel kinda bad, cos I was all excited and going to congratulate and thank Miss Mimsy-Borogovefor being my 100th review (yay!) but then, on a whim, went back and read them all, and discovered that there is one that was a double post. So, really, there is only 99 reviews, not 100. Poop. Still, Mimsy rocks. Hardcore. To the max. Yo. (Man, I need sleep.)

I wonder who will Really be number 100, then. Hmmm…

An of course, my internet decided to go all wonky right when I want to post this. Stupid internet.

But, again, thank you all for your wonderful reviews and for sticking it through this long. I'm up to 380 pages. Hooooly Crap. Also, thank you to Dibsthe1 for beta reading most of this chapter.

DISCLAIMER: Yes, I own no Zim. I own no Zim, today.

You Only Live Twice

PART ELEVEN: In which Dib finds perfection.

Main Entry: sloth

Pronunciation: 'sloth, 'släth also 'slOth
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural sloths /with ths or thz/
Etymology: Middle English slouthe, from slow slow
a disinclination to action or labor : INDOLENCE

b spiritual apathy and inactivity the deadly sin of sloth

Zim's base was dark, the only source of light coming from the many screens and monitors that lined the walls of the room. For some reason the light from the screen where he was working caused the colours of he features to reverse, making his skin a blood red colour and his eyes shine like emeralds instead of rubies. His hands moved at a frantic pace, claws tapping away a mile a minute on the keyboard, his eyes scanning the lines of text that flowed across the screen in a language that I couldn't read or comprehend. As I moved closer to him, his face contorted with a look of helpless agitation and he slammed his fists into the consol, causing to sparks to fly as it short circuited.

"Owwww!" The computer whined, "What'd you do that for!"

"There is NOTHING! NOTHING I can use to revive the Dib-Human!" Zim raged, kicking at the computer a few more times to further demonstrate and work out his anger and frustration, "The knowledge of the universe at my command and I can't find a single thing that will make the filthy wormbaby WAKE UP!"

I was confused. Zim? Trying to find a cure? For me? There was something seriously wrong with this situation. Why in the world would Zim want me to get out of my coma? His entire purpose in life was to destroy me so that he could take over the Earth, so why wouldn't he be taking this opportunity to wreck havoc?

"With all due respect, Sir," the computer breached, "why are you even bothering? The Dib is your enemy, so why would you want him well?"

At least the computer was thinking clearly.

Zim glared at the ceiling, "Do not question the judgment of the almighty ZIM!" He shouted, shaking a fist, "My reasons are far beyond your inferior comprehension!"

"But…I'm a computer. An AI. That automatically means that—"

"IMMA GONNA MAKE CHURROS!" Gir screamed, sliding out of a transportation chute and running full force across the room and into a wall, causing him to fall onto his back. Staring at the ceiling, he shouted, "Look! Macaroni!" before giggling insanely to himself and singing a little song about crab people.

Zim rolled his eyes, "He's AI, as well," he stated, jerking a thumb in Gir's direction, "what's your point?"

"Touché."

"Now, then," Zim began, "Computer, run another search for any possible cure for this Coma that the Dib has found himself in. There has to be something we can use!"

"But sir, we've already run this search twenty—"

"SILENCE!" Zim shouted, "Run the search AGAIN, Computer."

"Yes, sir." the computer grumbled as Zim moved to another station.

Suddenly I felt a strange presence behind me, and I turned to face it, gasping at what I saw. The space behind me faded into pitch black nothingness, the only light being two red glowing eyes.

"You shouldn't be here." the creature in the darkness rasped, it's voice consisting of a hundred pained screams. I caught a whiff of an unfamiliar stench in its breath, sweet and rancid, like decaying meat.

I backed away from it, scrambling to get myself to safety as it reached a thin arm out of the darkness, the flesh melted away in some parts to show rotting bone, and grabbed onto my shoulder, claws digging into my flesh. I struggled and fought, trying to pull myself out of its grip, but it hung on tightly, dragging me into the darkness.

I awoke, jerking up in bed, gasping for air, a scream on my lips. I looked around wildly, trying to place where I was. I recognized the dimly lit walls and floor of my room and allowed myself to fall back on to the pillows, closing my eyes, again. A dream. It was just a nightmare.

As I was willing my heart and breath to return to a normal speed, I felt a cool, dry hand wipe the sweat and hair away from my forehead.

"Shhh," a voice whispered, "It's ok, Dib, it was just a dream. You're alright, now, you're safe."

The voice was familiar and comforting, yet something I hadn't heard in a very, very long time. It made pleasant memories run through my mind: hot chocolate after a snowball fight, a dry kiss to cure a skinned knee, a warm hug to sooth tears, a lilting song while washing dishes, handing them to my sister to dry and to me to put away. Fragile moments so far gone that it was hard to tell if they were real.

I cautiously opened my eyes, squinting in the dim morning light, "Mom?" I whispered.

Her face came into view, slightly blurry, but smiling, "You had a nightmare, darling, I could hear you screaming from downstairs." she shook her head, "You always have such vivid dreams."

"Mom?" I whispered, again, not fully believing what I was seeing. Her face was exactly as I remembered it, save a few added laugh lines at the corner of her eyes and mouth. Her long purple hair was pulled back into a pony tale, her blue eyes—a feature that neither my sister nor I inherited—sparkling with worry. I sat up, slowly, reaching out a hand to touch her face.

"Yes, Dib, what is it? What's wrong?" she asked, her brow furrowing in a worried frown.

My hand reached her cheek, and I hesitantly touched it with my fingertips, feeling its warmth. That broke whatever spell I had been under and I threw my arms around her, burrowing my face into her shoulder as I felt the tears begin to flow. "Mom! You're alive! Oh thank god, you're alive! I thought that—"

It was then that I realized that something was terribly wrong. There was no way that my mother could be alive—I was there when she took her final breath, when we lowered her coffin into the earth. I was the one who packed up her belongings and sent them to the proper family members or the Salvation Army, because Dad was never around to do it and Gaz had a tendency to burst into tears whenever she came across something of our mother's. This was before she threw herself so far into her games and walled herself off from the rest of the world, of course.

I pulled back, fighting against the little voice in my head that screamed for more contact, and held her at arm's length, studying her face as much as I could without my glasses.

"Dib, what's wrong?" she asked, "What are you talking about?"

I shook my head, feeling more hot tears form behind my eyes, "No. No, this can't be real. You're dead. You died of cancer. I watched you. I felt you leave us, this can't be real. You're dead."

My mother shook her head, tears of her own starting to form, "No, honey, you're wrong. I'm not dead, I'm just fine. I'm right here." she raised her hands from inside my arms and placed them on either side of my face, "See? I'm real. It was just a dream, honey."

Again, I shook my head, closing my eyes to block her from view. If I didn't see her, she wasn't real and this hallucination couldn't fool me any longer, "No, no, you're dead. I watched you die, we buried you, you're dead. You left us alone and died and we couldn't stop it and this isn't nice why are you trying to trick me like this?" I was crying full force, now unashamed in my confusion.

My mother pulled my face towards hers and touched my forehead to her own. "No, Dib, you're wrong. It was just a dream, okay? Snap out of it, baby, it was just a dream. Just a dream."

A dream? My eyes shot open. A dream. The Tests. This was a Test. But how could that be? I was told that I wouldn't have any of my prior memories during the Tests. Why did I remember my mother dying, then, if she was obviously alive in this Reality? Was that another thing that J and Erin had lied to me about? Had they just erased my memories in the Tests that they controlled? Had Stan, Stephanie, whatever the hell its name was, just neglected from erasing my memories, thinking that it would give it an advantage?

I pulled away from my mother's embrace, consciously slowing my breathing in an effort to calm myself. I needed to keep full concentration so as to not miss the decision that needed to be made. I needed to focus.

My mother continued to look at me, worry crossing her delicate features.

"I'm okay, now, Mom." I stated, not wanting to worry her any further and feeling like an ass for reacting the way that I had, "I just…you're right, I had a nightmare and it just…it just seemed so real, and—"

She placed her hand, again, on my cheek and smiled, softly, "It's alright, dear. I understand. Sometimes it's hard to tell the dreams from the reality, huh?"

I nodded. She had no idea.

There was a sound from the hallway; someone coming towards the room.

"Hey, Dib, are you ready, yet? We're gonna be late." my sister stated coming into view in the doorway. Taking in the scene before her, she stopped short, frowning in a worried way that mimicked our mother. I never noticed how much she had grown to look like her. Strange. "Hey, bro, what's wrong? You okay?"

I was taken aback. Gaz? Caring about whether I was alright when it had nothing to do with herself? The hell?

Our mother stood, moving away from my bed. "Your bother had another one of his nightmares. I'm surprised you couldn't hear him screaming."

I blushed, slightly, in embarrassment, but it went unnoticed as Gaz blushed, herself, "I had my music up really loud." she stated, looking at the floor.

Our mother chuckled, ruffling my sister's chin-length hair. "Figured as much." She then clapped her hands together, getting both of our attention. "Up and at 'em, Atom Ant!" she said to me. Shooing my sister out of the room, I heard her say, "Come on and let your brother get ready. I'm sure you guys have time for some waffles before you go to school."

"Waffles? Come on, Mom, no one lets their moms make breakfast for them, anymore. That's for kids." My sister whined, sounding all of her thirteen years old: too 'cool' for anything she attributed to her childhood.

"Well, then," my mother started, her voice growing fainter as they reached the stairs, "guess I'm just gonna have to eat a batch of chocolate chip ones all by myself, then."

"Hey, you didn't say anything about chocolate chips." Gaz stated before their voices grew too quiet for me to hear.

I sighed and laid back against the pillows wondering what to do next. In every other Test I didn't remember who I really was, so I could easily just go about my business like normally because I had the other Dib's memories. With this one…I had no idea how this version of my family, or for that matter, the rest of the world functioned. There was no way for me to get out of here without making an idiot out of myself. Great.

I sighed, again, realizing that I really had no choice but to get up and go about my day as normally as I could. I wouldn't have a chance of passing the Sloth Test by staying in bed the whole time, would I? Besides, I thought, taking in a deep breath, there were chocolate chip waffles waiting for me, downstairs.

Yum.

oooIIIooo

I followed the delicious smell of waffles down the stairs and into the kitchen, my mouth watering the whole time. However, my appetite quickly diminished as my stomach curled itself in a tight little knot in shock at the scene that lay before me.

My entire family was seated at the table, enjoying the waffles and having a rather pleasant morning conversation. My entire family. My father included. It was all I could do to keep my knees steady as I stood in the doorway, watching them all interact. It made sense, I guess: with my mother still alive, my father had no reason to hide in his lab all hours of the day. Would also explain my sister's odd behavior, because without my mother's death, there would be no reason for her to turn into the introverted grump that she became in my reality.

I had just come to terms with all of this when I noticed the fourth person seated at the breakfast table. It had taken me a moment to notice him because his disguise was different—the wig a better hairstyle and normal clothes instead of a uniform—but the green skin eventually made something in my brain connect and I made a surprised sound in the back of my throat which caused both my family and the intruder to look up.

"Hey," Gaz greeted, her mouth full of waffley goodness. She pointed to a plate in the middle of the table with her fork, "we saved you some."

"Oh, that's nice, Gaz. Isn't it considered rude by your species to talk with your mouth full?" Zim scoffed.

Gaz smirked and then opened her mouth wide in his direction, showing him a healthy dose of the nastiness of partially chewed waffle. He recoiled, the force sending his chair tottering backward and he fell to the floor with a pained "Oof" as his pak hit the ground below him.

Gaz snorted, but then was cut short by a scathing glare from both of our parents.

Our father shook his head, "Gaz, I thought we raised you better than that."

My sister had the decency to look sheepish as she rose from her chair and offered Zim a hand up, which he accepted graciously. "Sorry." she mumbled.

Zim shrugged and brushed himself off. Then, after a moment, a mischievous look crossed his face and he quickly darted out his long, snakelike tongue, licking the side of Gaz's face with the tip. Gaz recoiled and feel backwards onto her backside as our parents laughed.

"Sure, it's funny when he does it." she grumbled, rubbing her butt where she landed.

My father chuckled, putting his paper down on the table and taking a swig from his coffee, "Yes, well, ahem." He cleared his throat, focusing all of his attention on his mug.

"Oh for the love of…" my mother muttered, shaking her head. She addressed my sister who had finally gotten up from the floor and was scooting her chair back up to the table, "Gaz, it was only fair: you pulled a trick on him and he pulled one back on you. It's even, now. Eat your waffles."

"Whatever." Gaz grumbled, shoving another fork full into her mouth. She looked back up at me, her face scrunched in an expression of confusion, "What are you still doing standing there? What's wrong with you? Your breakfast is getting cold."

I could feel myself standing with my mouth agape at the scene, and I knew that I looked like an idiot, but I didn't care. They were sitting there. Eating. With Zim. Didn't they realize the danger they were in? What was wrong with them!

I pointed frantically at the alien, who had again made himself comfortable at my family's table, "An alien! There! Look! He's an alien!" I shouted.

Gaz looked at Zim and then shrugged, turning back to me, "Yeah, so?"

"An alien! With the green and the antenna and the alieny...stuff! There! Right there!"

She let out an exasperated breath, "Yes, Dib, we know, now will you come eat so we can leave for school? You know Mom won't let us leave before you get some breakfast in you."

"It's the most important meal of the day!" My mother chipped in, cheerily.

I turned to her, my mouth hanging practically to the floor by now, "Mom! What's wrong with you! You have an insane, homicidal alien bent on world domination sitting at your table and you're more worried about me having a healthy diet!"

"Whoa, now, wait a moment." my father interjected, holding up a gloved hand, "I knew nothing of this world domination. I thought you were just here for research purposes." He stated, addressing Zim.

The alien shrugged, furrowing his brow in confusion, "I am. I have no idea where Dib got the idea otherwise. Perhaps he's malfunctioning."

"I. Am. Not. Malfunctioning!" I shouted. I resumed my frantic pointing, "He! Is an Alien!"

"Yes, Dib, we KNOW, already!" My sister insisted. She pressed one hand to her forehead, desperately trying to keep her temper. After a moment she pushed herself away from the table and stood, "Whatever, I'm getting my backpack." she stated as she pushed past me and left the kitchen.

Zim stood as well, walking slowly towards me with one hand outstretched cautiously, the way one would act while approaching a strange animal, "I don't know what's gotten into you, Dib Human, but—"

"Get away from me!" I shouted, backing away as he advanced.

"Dib!" My mother interjected in a tone that normally would make me feel ashamed of myself.

"Mom, you don't get it! In my reality—" I cut myself short, realizing that I had already said too much. Any more and I would end up in a straightjacket.

"Your reality?" Zim asked, confused, stopping his approach, "What are you talking about, Human?"

"I mean…umm," I had to backtrack, quickly, "These…dreams I've been having…in them—"

"Are you confusing your dreams with reality, son?" My father asked, his voice filled with a mixture of fatherly concern and scientific curiosity.

"No! What I mean is—"

"Dib, look." Zim interrupted, "I don't know what has gotten into you, but you're acting crazy. You know just as well as everyone else in your family does that I'm here on a research mission from Irk to decide whether or not this planet is the right location to build a space port. In fact, you should know better than anyone, seeing as you're the one who saw my disguise in the first place. We've been over this, before, and I've let you in on all of my findings and reports. I figured by now you would trust me." He gave me a hurt looking glare, then, the corners of his mouth pulling down into a frown, "I guess not, though."

He shook his head and started past me out of the kitchen, "I'll wait for you in the living room with Gaz. Hurry up and eat, we're going to be late." he stated as he passed.

I stared after him for a moment before turning and facing my parents who were looking at me with matching expressions of worry on their faces.

"Dib, honey, maybe you shouldn't go to school today. I think that you need some rest. You're obviously under a lot of stress—" my mom began.

I cut her off, "No, it's ok. I…I just feel a little off. Didn't get much sleep last night. I just…need to wake up a bit. I'll be fine, don't worry."

I walked over to the table and grabbed a waffle, taking a bite out of it as I moved to the other side of the table to kiss my mother on the cheek. "I gotta go. Don't wanna be late. I'll see you after school." That said, I grabbed my bag from where I dropped it in the doorway and started out of the room.

"Dib—" my mother's voice pleaded from behind me.

"I'm fine. Don't worry. I'll apologize to Zim. I'll see you, tonight." I stated and left the room.

Fitting into this reality was going to be harder than I thought, and I didn't even know what the actual challenge was, yet.

Great.

oooIIIooo

"So, really, what's gotten into you, Human?" Zim asked as we made our way to school. Gaz was walking a few paces ahead of us, blabbing on her cell phone to one of her friends who she would no doubt see in a few minutes, but she was thirteen and I guess what thirteen year old girls did was run up minutes on their cell phones for no reason.

I looked at the alien out of the corner of my eye, his features becoming blurry in the blind spot where my glasses didn't cover. "What's it to you?"

He let his breath out in a frustrated huff. "Whatever. I'm tired of trying. Catch up with me when you're normal again." he muttered, and quickened his pace to catch up with Gaz, leaving me alone behind them. My sister, noticing Zim beside her, must have made an excuse to her friend on the other end of the phone, because after a few seconds she clicked it closed and slipped it into her pocket.

I sighed, tugging a little harder on the straps of my book bag as I trudged along behind them. At least this gave me a few moments to myself in order to collect my thoughts, but the last thing I wanted to do in this reality was alienate (haha, funny, Dib) anyone. Still, this strange place that I found myself dropped into was a little more than I could handle at the moment. My family being whole and stable? Zim not being bent on world conquest? My sister being a decent human being? Next thing you know, I'm going to wind up having—

"Hey, Dib, wait up!"

--friends.

I stopped, turning to see who had called out to me. A boy in a rather baggy black t-shirt was running full speed towards me, his head down to make him that much faster seeing as one of his arms was plastered at his side to keep his messenger bag in place. I patiently waited for him to catch up, more out of curiosity than anything else.

He reached me after a few seconds and raised one hand, silent requesting a moment to catch his breath as stood with his hands on his knees. After a few seconds he straightened up so I could see his face.

It was not at all who I was expecting.

Though, come to think of it, I really don't know who I was expecting.

But this defiantly wasn't him.

I could feel irritation building up in my chest as Erin gave me a lopsided little grin. "Hey." she greeted me. It was all I could do not to hit her with my bag.

"What are you doing here?" I hissed.

She looked hurt for a moment and ran her hand through her now short and choppy hair. "Look, Dib, I don't have a lot of time—"

"Dib?" Gaz's voice interrupted from behind us. I glanced over my shoulder, surprised that she and Zim had stopped when I did to wait for me. I didn't think they had been paying attention, what with the whole Zim being mad at me thing and all. "You coming?"

I glanced back at Erin who shook her head almost imperceptibly. Frowning, I turned back, "I'll meet you guys there, I need to talk to…this person…for a minute."

Both Gaz and Zim's frowns looked surprisingly alike at my answer, but they shrugged and continued on without me.

With them gone, I tuned back towards my misguided former Guide. "Well?" I asked, wanting to get this conversation over with as soon as possible.

She scowled at me, rubbing her nose where her glasses no longer rested, a recognizable trait of someone not used to wearing contacts, "What do you mean 'well'? What are you all grumpy about?"

I was trying very hard to keep my temper. While I didn't really believe all of Stan's 'explaination' as to what all was going on and J and Erin's motives for helping me, that didn't mean that I wasn't a little perturbed at the fact that I hadn't been told the whole truth.

"What do you think I'm all grumpy about? You lied to me!" I hissed, barely able to control my voice, my hands in tight fists at my side.

Ok, so maybe I was A Lot perturbed.

Erin at least had the decency to look surprised. "What? What are you talking about, Dib?"

"You. You and J. You lied to me. You lied to me about being alone in this Test, about me having to have my memories erased for all of them, about, about everything!" I was very close to shouting, now, gesturing wildly with my hands and arms.

Erin glared at me in a way that was very much like my sister, "Look, Dib, I'll admit that we might not have told you everything but that doesn't mean that we lied to you about anything."

"Oh yeah? Well what about the fact that you're even here? Huh? You told me that I would have to be alone in this Test because you couldn't get into it, but you seem to have made it here ok, after all." I was shouting, now. Screw it if anyone overheard. Most of the town probably thought I was crazy anyhow. This reality couldn't be that much different from my own.

Erin ran a hand through her hair. I sensed that she was mentally counting to ten or something close to it. "Dib. Look at me." she began, her voice dangerously quiet, "Remember what we told you about this Test? Androgynous energy. Look at me. The only way that I could get in here was to chop off my hair and almost kill myself by binding my breasts under this shirt so that I could pass for something like a sexless twelve year old kid from far away. Even this way I have very limited time before the Powers realize that I'm not really Androgynous and zap my ass out of here. I put myself in a very dangerous situation here for you, and I'm not going to just sit here and let you accuse me of doing anything but keeping your best interests in mind!"

We locked eyes for a moment, both our jaws stubbornly set. I didn't want to believe her. I didn't want to not believe her, either. I wanted to just go home and forget that any of this ever happened—wake up and find out this whole thing—the accident, the coma, the Tests, all of it—was just one giant bad dream.

"Why?" I asked.

Erin shook her head in confusion, "What?"

"Why are you even bothering if you have so much at risk by being here? Don't you and J think that I could handle this on my own?"

"Look, Dib, that's—"

"No," I cut her off, "No, I don't want to hear any excuses, and reasons. Forget it. You told me that I'm going to have to do this on my own, even though Stan told me otherwise—"

"But—"

I held up a hand, not wanting to be interrupted, "—Even though Stan told me otherwise, and I am going to keep on that train of thought and do this myself. Actually, the way things look to be going here, I might not even want to go back when the moment presents itself. This world is perfect, why would I want to go back to hell?"

Erin threw her arms into the air in frustration, "Because if you don't you'll end up in Hell for Real! Don't you understand, Dib? There are great things planned for you!"

"No! Shut up! I'm tired of hearing about these Great Plans you and J keep alluding to! I'm not going to be your pawn, Erin. I may not be real, but I'm still in control of my own destiny. I'm still in control of myself."

"You're not our pawn, Dib, but if you choose to believe what Stan has told you, and ignore everything that J and I have done for you, I guarantee that you will be his."

I glared down at her, "And when that time comes, then we'll see who's the one really in control."

We stood in silence a few moments more, and then Erin suddenly raised a hand to her ear, her features freezing in shock. "Shit! That's J. They've discovered my signature. Dib, you have to listen to me: you're running out of time. Ignore anything this world shows you—it's a lie. Everything is a lie, you—"

I could feel my gaze growing colder as I looked at her panicked face, and turned away, "And you know all about lies, don't you, Erin?" I called back to her as I started to walk away, "I have to go, now. I'm gonna be late. Good luck with the police or whatever the Powers are sending after you."

I blocked out the sound of her calling my name as it grew fainter behind me. A few minutes later I thought I heard a scream and turned back to see what had happened, but the sidewalk behind me was empty.

She was gone.

I stood looking at the place where she had been standing for a few moments, my heart pounding out a wild rhythm in my chest. Maybe I….No. No, I was in the right here. They wanted me to do this on my own, I was going to do it on my own. I didn't need their help.

I didn't need anyone.

oooIIIooo

The school day passed by relatively quickly. I noticed that, while I wasn't the most popular kid in school, I wasn't being harassed by anyone, either. A few people had actually even made the effort to say hi or wave to me in the halls.

Lunchtime arrived and, after I received my tray of that day's "fine gourmet cuisine", I made my way to the usual table where Gaz and I usually sat. I wasn't really all that surprised to see Zim at the table as well, though the addition of Gretchen, The Letter M, Dirge (who had thankfully gotten over his "look at my toes" stage), and Brian was a bit of a shock. No one at the table was considered "popular" in my Reality by any means, but there they were still higher on the social ladder than I was. Not that I was complaining by any means, it was just different.

I took the empty seat by Gretchen, who smiled at me shyly, displaying a perfect row of teeth that years of ridicule and thousands of dollars in orthodontist bills had provided. I smiled back, which, for some reason, caused to her blush a bit and then focus adamantly on the consumption of her roast beef sandwich. I shrugged and turned my attention to the tray of food in front of me. At least one thing was the same in both this Reality and my own: girls were strange.

"Hey, Doofus, have you stopped being crazy, yet?" Gaz's voice broke through my thoughts. I looked at her, cocking my head a bit in confusion.

"Huh?"

"Are you feeling better from this morning? Do you know whether or not you're dreaming, anymore?" She clarified, an impatient tone in her voice, though the look on her face was one of good natured amusement.

"Dream? Ha. This place is a nightmare." The Letter M piped in, before taking a bit of his Twinky.

I joined in the chorus of chuckles, and then shrugged, "Yeah, I'm ok. I don't know what came over me. Must have still been partially asleep."

"Good," she answered, "I'd hate to see you get locked up for being all crazy like—then I'd get stuck doing your half of the chores."

Zim snorted, "You make that sound as if you even bother doing your half of your household's chores."

Another round of laughter as Gaz's cheeks coloured, indignantly, "Shut up, Tongue Boy, I do my share!" she protested, "'Sides, not everyone can have a little robot to clean their houses for them."

Now it was Zim's turn to turn a bit darker, "Yeah, well…I have important work to focus on."

"'Tongue Boy'?" Brian cut in, "Whoa, now, what have you two been up to?"

"Well, you see—"

"No, you don't get it, this morning—" both Gaz and Zim spoke at the same time, stammering in the face of Brian's insinuation. Again, everyone laughed. I took a deep breath, relaxing. I never really had a group of people I could laugh with. It was nice.

As my sister and Zim continued to protest, arguing good naturedly with the others at the table, I let my eyes wander around the room. So this was what high school was like for the "normal" kids. This is what it was like to go through a day without ridicule or scorn or an extraterrestrial death ray pointed at your head. This was what it was like to be accepted and cared about. I didn't know how to really react to it all. I was overwhelmed.

As I let my eyes scanned the room, I found myself unconsciously staring at another boy across the room. There was something…wrong about him. Something…off. The distraction slowly pulled me from my thoughts and I found myself squinting to get a better look at him. Yes, there was something defiantly wrong about him. Something having to do with his clothes, or maybe his strange lock shaped necklace, or was it hit too pale skin colour, or his fangs and horns and the fact that he had the number six-six-six written across his forehead…Holy Crap!

"Holy crap, guys! That kid is the Anti-Christ!" I shouted, standing up so quickly in my chair that it fell over with a clatter, and pointing wildly.

The cafeteria fell silent as the kid in question looked up at me, surprised, then at the wide eyed boy next to him, who let out a frightened squeaking noise.

The Letter M snorted, "Yeah, right, Dib, just like Zim's an alien."

The cafeteria broke out into a roar of laughter. Looking around I saw that everyone was pointing at me, their mouths open and gaping as they laughed. A few kids were banging on the table with mirth. I could feel my face heat up as the blood rushed to my cheeks in both embarrassment and anger.

I turned towards Zim and pointed, "But he is! He is an alien!" I shouted.

The cafeteria was suddenly quiet again. Letter M looked at me, his brow furrowed in confusion, "Dude, I know. That's what I just said: that kid's the Anti-Christ, just like Zim, here, is an alien. This is a magnet school for the strange and unusual. You know that. How else would Dirge be here with his fucking freak toes?"

Dirge threw a grape at M's head, which bounced off and landed in my sister's coke.

"Ew, Gross!"

"Good shot, man." M stated, rubbing the side of his head. He turned back to me, "Anyhow, Pepito's a year or so under us. His dad is Satan. You went to the Barbeque they had on Labor Day—don't you remember?"

I sat back down, feeling that familiar heat in my face, "I…uh…" I stammered, trying to come up with a viable excuse, even though inside I was celebrating. The paranormal was accepted here? People in this Reality not only accepted and understood the unexplainable, but it was a day to day occurrence? Amazing!

"He's been sick. That fever that's been going around," Gretchen spoke up. Everyone turned to look at her, "Right, Dib? Did you like that soup I brought over the other day?"

"I…um…" I still couldn't seem to get my mouth to work as I tried to understand Gretchen's motives for coming to my rescue, "Uh…yeah! Yeah, I liked it, a lot, thank you! Guess it made me feel so much better that I thought I could come to school today, but I guess I'm not as better as I thought. Heh."

Everyone turned and looked at Gaz, as if for conformation of Gretchen and I's story. She shrugged, "Hey, Zim and I were at MegaCon all weekend, how would I know whether or not he was sick?"

Just then, the bell rang, and everyone started getting their things together to make their way back to class. I let out a relieved breath and hurried towards the mass of kids to catch up with Gretchen, who had somehow managed to get up faster than me.

I finally reached her and grabbed onto the strap of her messenger bag to get her attention. "Thanks, I owe you one." I stated, smiling.

She smiled back , blushing, "Don't worry about it." she replied. Then, with another smile, she hurried forward, turning the corner to get to class.

"Somebody's got a girlfriend," Zim's voice sing-songed from behind me. I paused long enough to let him catch up.

"I do, not." I protested as Dirge and Letter M caught up with us.

"Hey, man, you could do a lot worse than Gretch." M chimed in.

"Yeah," Dirge agreed, "You could realize you're gay and go out with Zim!"

I groaned as Zim and Letter M stopped mid stride, "Is…that even possible?" He turned to Zim, "I mean, are you really even a guy?"

Zim looked indignant, "Yes, I am a male, you filthy human!"

Dirge laughed, "Man, you're so lying, you wore a dress all through elementary school!"

"I was not a DRESS! Dare you insult the masculinity of the great ZIM!" the alien shouted, sounding much more like the Zim that I knew back home.

"Oh, come on, Space Boy," I laughed, feeling a bit more at ease, "I've seen those eyelash curlers you hide in your bathroom cabinet!"

"I don't even HAVE eyelashes!"

"Excuses!" Letter M scoffed, sending us all back into another fit of laughter. Zim's irritated expression softened a bit, now that he realized we were just teasing him, but before he could say anything else in protest, the bell rang, signaling that we were all late for class, and sending us running down the hall at full speed.

I chuckled a bit as I ran, feeling good about things for the first time in a long time.

Boy, was I in trouble.

oooIIIooo

I put my dirty glass into the dishwasher, and noticed that it was full. Well, if nothing else, at least Gaz's laziness was as consistent in this Reality as it was in mine, unless our chores had been switched. Out of habit more than anything else, I pulled open the door to the cabinet under the sink, and grabbed one of the gel packets from their box, placing it into the designated compartment on the dishwasher door. Closing the appliance and flicking the switch to turn it on, I grabbed another gel packet from under the sink and hopped up onto the kitchen counter. For some reason, squishing the gel around beneath its dissolvable plastic packaging always helped me think better. Calmed me down or something. I didn't really know.

What I did know, however, was that I was royally fucked, and that I did not, by any means, like this Test. At least in the other Realities there had been some sort of conflict, something that made me want to change who I was or what my situation in life was becoming. Here, there was…nothing. No conflict, no problems, just the Dream that I had always had of my parents being happy, and my sister being humane and of having friends and being respected and everything that I had always wanted. There had to be some sort of catch—something that was a complete and total farce put up there for my own and others' benefits, something completely and utterly Wrong in a universe that was so Right.

I began to focus my thoughts on who was acting the most out of character from what I knew. Zim was, of course, the first person that sprung to mind, but then again, he had shown himself a valuable ally as well as an enemy on countless occasions. While we hadn't always gotten along, it had been proven that we could cohabitate the same area and work for a common cause relatively well, so really, seeing as how he didn't have any reason to take over the earth, the fact that he and I were friends wasn't really that unbelievable.

My parents…well, without really remembering that much about my mother, and with my father being away at work all the time, I really didn't have much to go on, there. I could only assume that they had been happy before my mother's death and could only therefore assume that they would continue to be happy if she had never died.

Which led me at last to…Gaz. Now there was someone who was acting completely different than I would expect. Granted, she still had her moments of bitchiness and anger, but with our parents around to balance it all out, as quick as she was with an insult, she was just as quick with an apology. If only I had a way to test her without out parents being around to see how she would react in this Reality to something that would normally get me killed in mine.

It was then that I conveniently noticed the note on the bulletin board that my family kept on the wall next to the kitchen table. It was signed Mom and Dad and stated that they were going to be late coming home because they had a dinner engagement with another couple after they both got out of work, so they would be headed straight there. It also reminded both my sister and I that it was my turn to cook, and Gaz's turn to do the dishes. The persistent clunking of the dishwasher running made me wonder whether or not Gaz would adhere to these rules later on in the night, seeing as how I was the one who noticed that the dishwasher was full from breakfast.

I realized that tonight would be my best chance out of any for me to run my experiment. A quick glance at the clock showed that I had an hour before she returned from her after school gamer meeting, which really only gave me a limited time to figure out what trick to play on my unsuspecting sister. As much as my self preservation instincts were telling me otherwise, I knew that I needed to do something that would surely invoke her wrath enough to get me killed. Nothing mildly annoying would do.

While I thought, I must have pressed onto the small gel packet a bit harder than I had originally intended, either that, or the sweat from my fingers was dissolving the water soluble packaging because before I knew it I felt the pressure of the packet give, and heard a small squirting sound as it exploded. Looking down I saw that the front of my shirt was now drenched with the stuff. Great.

I pulled the shirt over my head and ran it under the tap in the sink to try and get the majority of the gunk off. I was surprised that the detergent didn't create the amount of bubbles that normal dishwashing soap did and found an even greater surprise when the spot where the soap had been was revealed to have become discoloured. Great. My favorite shirt had a giant white spot on it now thanks to a little…bleach? There was bleach in the dishwashing detergent?

My mind started moving a mile a minute, trying to connect this new found information to what I knew of Gaz's daily habits. Her routine couldn't be that much different in this world, and I knew that the first thing she did whenever she got home, always, was to take a shower, because the grunginess of our school and having to touch the world's filthy reality for six hours made her feel gross. This knowledge, mixed with the newfound discovery of the contents of the water soluble gel packets made something click in my head, and in a flash, I had grabbed another one from the box under the sink and made my way upstairs to the bathroom.

If this didn't get me killed, nothing would, but it would defiantly be worth it.

oooIIIooo

5:07 pm.

Gaz walked in the front door, slamming it behind her as she shook off from the rain. Glancing up from the book I had been reading on the couch, I began to wonder if this really was that great of a time to pull my little trick, based on the fact that she was soaking wet and didn't seem the least bit happy about it. Guess it had started to rain since I had been home. It nothing else, this almost guaranteed the she would head straight to the shower in order to get warm and into a change of dry clothing.

"Is it raining?" I asked, knowing the response that I would receive. I was surprised, however, that she only shot me an irritated glare, and not a scathing comment or punch to the kidney to accompany it.

Dropping her book bag into the corner, she made her way through the living room and to the stairs, pausing only long enough to look around and ask, "Where's Mom and Dad?"

I didn't even look up from my book, determined to irritate her as much as I possibly could by taking advantage of every pet peeve I could think of, "They went out to dinner with some friends. We're on our own for dinner."

"Oh yeah," she answered, "who's turn is it to cook?"

I caught myself before I showed that I was startled by her question. I figured that she would just assume I would cook dinner for her, "Umm…mine, I think. What do you want?"

"Just make some pasta or something—will be less for me to clean up afterwards." she replied. Before I my shock could register or I could reply I heard her heavy boots clomp up the stairs.

I forced myself to not have any second thoughts. This was in the name of science, after all…or something.

5:16 pm.

I heard the water start to run in the upstairs bathroom.

5:18 pm.

The shower curtain shrieked closed and I could faintly hear a few lines of song as my sister sang some metal song off key. Guess she had gotten the shower radio to work. If she didn't kill me, I would have to ask her the secret, since all I could ever get out of it was static.

I read the same sentence in my book over and over again, not really understanding the words, with anticipation of my sister's reaction crawling up my throat like some angry creature. Even if I did manage to find the composure to keep reading, my hands were shaking too badly to keep the book still, anyhow.

5:39 pm.

The water was shut off. The curtain shrieked open.

5:41 pm.

The silence in the house was shattered by an ear piercing scream.

I could hear the door being flung open and my sister's small, but angry footsteps on the stairs.

Looking up from my book towards the landing, it was all I could do to keep from laughing.

Gaz had obviously taken the time to dry off and start to get dressed before looking in the mirror, because she stood at the bottom of the stairs, seething with fury, in a t-shirt which wasn't quite long enough to hide her black underwear. Her long hair was soaking the shoulders of the shirt as she stood with her fists clenched at her side, her chest heaving with anger.

"What. Did. You. Do. To. The. Shower. Dib?" she hissed.

I tried to pay attention, but my focus was solely on her hair. Her poor, distorted hair. The bleach from the detergent packet had done a pretty good job in pulling most of the colour from it, and it hung in thick, wet, tangled, blond chunks, which made sense, because if she hadn't had the presence of mind to put on pants, I doubted she decided to expend enough time and energy to run a brush through her hair.

I really couldn't stand it much longer. There was very little of Gaz to be frightened of when she looked like a prissy blond cheerleader who had been caught in the rain. I decided that she was probably going to kill me no matter what and let a snort of laughter pass my lips, followed by a full out onslaught of the stuff, which made me think that I probably needed to laugh more because, man, it was fun.

I held my side as I laughed, pointing at Gaz in all of her bleached blond fury. "You…" I gasped, trying to form words, "you look like an idiot!" That said, I lapsed into a fresh wave of mirth, almost falling off the couch it was so strong.

I settled myself down enough to notice Gaz's eyes close in a glare, her brows furrowed dangerously. I had time to think only the word 'shit', before she lunged, tackling me to the floor. I braced myself for the impact of her small body, and even more so for the onslaught of punches that would surely follow, but then noticed that what she was attacking me with wasn't making me scream. No, in fact it was making me laugh all the harder, this time against my will.

Gaz had countered my joke and ridicule with…tickles? That was this Gaz's ultimate weapon? Tickling?

After a few moments I realized how effective of a weapon it really was because no one really likes to be tickled. I tried to catch her hands in mine, in an attempt to pull her off of me, but managed really only to open myself to further poking.

"Gaz…" I gasped, "Stop…you win…stop..."

"Say uncle." she growled, though from the look in her eyes she was having a hard time continuing to be mad. Looks like this Gaz didn't really hold a grudge, either. Strange.

"U…un…uncle!" I shouted, and she rolled off of me, sitting cross-legged on the floor, a satisfied smirk on her face as she waited for me to catch my breath.

After a few moments I was able to sit up, and did so, leaning against the side of the couch.

"How?" my sister asked, glaring, again, though it held little of it normal malice.

I tried to keep myself from chuckling, again, "Dishwasher packet-thing."

She looked confused for a moment, "There's bleach in those?"

I shrugged, "Looks like it. If it makes you feel any better, in order to discover that, I ruined my favorite shirt."

She frowned a bit, "The blue one?"

I nodded.

"Shitty."

"Yeah."

She caught herself in her moment of empathy for my lost shirt and glared again, "Why?"

Again, I shrugged, not wanting to reveal my true motives, "Why not?" I countered.

She glared a few moments longer and then shrugged, "Makes sense. You know this means war, now, right?"

I chuckled, "I figured as much."

She smiled evilly and stood up. I joined her. She ran a hand through her hair, frowning. "What am I supposed to do with this, now?" She muttered.

I shrugged, "Just dye it back your normal colour." I suggested.

She looked at me like I was an idiot, "You expect me to go out in public looking like this!"

"What, do you want me to go buy the dye for you?"

The look she gave me was answer enough.

"Huh-uh." I stated, crossing my arms, "It's pouring out there! I'm not walking in the rain to get you hair dye."

Gaz glared at me for another moment and then snapped her fingers. The onslaught of rain on the windows ceased and I could see the faint, fading light of day through the windows. I had forgotten she could do that.

I gave her a confused look, "Wait, why didn't you just do that, before, when you were caught out in it?"

She looked confused for a moment, and then huffed, agitated, "Damn it."

I had to laugh. "Anyhow, what about dinner? If I go out to the store, you're just gonna have to wait that much longer to get fed."

Gaz shrugged, "I'll cook, then. I'll have it waiting when you get back and then you can clean up."

I considered. It seemed like a good deal. Still… "Ok, but only if you cook pasta like originally planned. I don't want to have to clean a million pots and pans."

She smirked, "How bout this: I'll make chicken parmesan, and I'll help dry whatever doesn't fit in the dishwasher. I'm in the mood for a little more than pasta, anyhow, but you're right that it wouldn't be fair."

She looked confused at my obvious expression of shock at the word 'fair' escaping her lips, but shrugged as she continued, "'Sides, if I made you clean a million dishes, that might count as my revenge, and that's a boring counter attack."

I chuckled. "Alright, deal, then. I'll be back in a little while. Do we need anything else from the store while I'm there?"

Gaz was already making her way to the kitchen, "Umm…I think we could use some milk. Mom used up a lot of what was left with the waffles this morning." she called back over her shoulder.

"Right. Milk. Okay, be back soon." I made my way to the door, grabbing my coat on the way. As an after thought, I called back over my shoulder, "You better have dinner on the table by the time I get home, woman."

A dishtowel flew out of the kitchen with enough speed and force to smack me in the face. I laughed and set it on the table by the door as I left.

oooIIIooo

The next week or so went by relatively uneventfully. My life resumed its previous routine of school, chores, paranormal research (though at this point there really was very little left undiscovered, which bothered me slightly for a reason that I couldn't really explain). I became accustomed to this new and improved version of pretty much everyone I knew and felt more at home than I had in my entire life.

Maybe I didn't have to go back, after all. Maybe I could just "fail" this Test and live a few more weeks in paradise before my dad pulled the plug on my body back in the Waking world. I figured that this might be as close to heaven as I was going to get, so why not make the best of it while I could?

The phone rang.

"I got it!" I shouted in the direction of the rest of the house as I picked up the cordless that sat in its charger by my bed. "Hello?"

"Dib. It's J. I don't have much time, so—"

I could feel the anger and irritation at my former Guide's voice welling up within me, "I don't want to talk to you, J." I growled.

"Yes, I figured as much, but you don't really have a choice, here."

"Choice? Oh, I think I have a pretty big choice, here. I could just hang up, how's that choice for you?"

I heard J sigh on the other end, "Look, Dib, I know you're a little upset—"

"'A little upset'?" I laughed without much humor, "I think that's putting it mildly, dude. I'm pretty pissed. Didn't your little spy give you the memo?"

"My little…" he trailed off, a bit confused, "Oh, you mean Erin. No, she didn't get a chance to tell me anything. She's been…detained."

I was a bit confused, "Detained? You mean she's in jail?"

"Breaking into a Test isn't an offense to be taken lightly up here."

"Huh." I was silent for a moment and I thought about what he had just said, "But still, if it was so dangerous, why didn't you do it? Why did you send her?"

J sighed again, this one sounding a bit more irritated than the first, "Do you really think that I could have made myself pass for Androgynous? Erin is a girl, chop the hair, stick her in baggy clothes, and at first glance you can't tell if she's a skinny girl or a pre-pubescent boy. It was just easier that way. The plan was fool proof. If you would have just listened to her—"

"Oh, so now it's my fault." I interrupted.

Another sigh, "I'm not saying that. It's no one's fault, but we're wasting time arguing about this."

"You're right, we are, because I already made my decision: I'm not going back." I stated.

"Don't be so quick, there, Dib," J warned.

"Really? Why? Did I fail the test now? Is my Soul eternally damned?"

"Well, no, not yet—you still have a bit of time before the actual challenge presents itself, but you need to have your mind focused on what your goal should be, and your goal should be getting back to your Reality and the Waking World, not sticking around in a some mockery of perfection."

"Well, maybe I want perfection, whether it's a mockery or a lie or not. Did you ever think of that?" I was almost shouting, now, and I had to consciously control my breathing lest I let my anger get out of hand.

"Everyone wants a perfect life, Dib, but—"

"But nothing. I don't want to go back, J. Maybe when the time comes for me to actually make the decision, I'll change my mind, but as it is, I doubt it. I'm hanging up, now, I'm tired of this conversation."

"Wait, Dib—"

"Goodbye, J." I stated, and clicked the button to end the call.

My mom poked her head into my room, "Who was that, Hun? You sounded kind of upset."

I shook my head and replaced the phone on the charger, "Wrong number." I replied.

She smiled, oddly, "Ah. Well, I'm about to make some dinner. You wanna help me with the meat balls?"

I smiled back, thankful for the normalcy of her request, "Sure, Mom, I'll be right down."

She smiled again, in parting, and left the doorway. I could hear her footsteps on the stairs. Walking towards the door, myself, I chanced one more glance at the phone, expecting it to ring; expecting J to be persistent that I listen to him.

The phone stayed silent.

Figures.

oooIIIooo

A year went by. Two. Life fell into a pattern of normalcy. Gaz remained placid (even though her hair ended up turning and staying a cotton candy pink colour after the bleaching incident. She had been so preoccupied with de-blonding herself that she didn't read the instructions on the dye box specifically warning her about colouring newly bleached hair. She got me back by putting itching powder in my boxers. All of them), Zim moved ahead with his research and it was looking more and more certain daily that Earth was going to be home to the newest Irken Space Port, my parents stayed happy, everything was great.

Everything was a bit Too great.

The longer I stayed in the Test, the more I realized that there was no adventure in this world; no challenge. After spending two or three years having your life threatened by alien technology on a daily basis, the ho hum routine of normal living becomes a bit…dull.

Before I knew it, it was my Senior year and my desk was piled high with brochures and letters from different universities all across the country. Some of them were begging to have me come (nothing like perfect SAT scores to open up a college's wallet), throwing scholarships and grants at me like there was no tomorrow. All I had to do was choose.

Choosing seemed to be the hardest part.

Every time I would mention it to my family, while Gaz would call dibs on my room, and Dad would continue to talk me into choosing Real Science for my major instead of journalism, Mom would…become oddly silent. Oh, she would smile and laugh and encourage me to apply to as many colleges as I thought were necessary, but there was something wrong with her; something behind her eyes that she wasn't showing.

Every day, it seemed, she would come into my room with another packet or envelope from yet another college wanting me to sign up, and as she placed it on my desk, we would have the same conversation:

"This is a nice school, but are you sure you don't want to just go to the University in town? It's a very good school—both your father and I went there, and I'm pretty sure that's where Zim said he would be continuing his research mission…"

I would put down whatever book I was reading or turn my chair away from the computer so I could see her better, and reply, "Yes, Mom, I know, and I'm thinking about it, I really am, I just want explore all my options, first."

She would smile and nod, saying, "Yes, I know dear. You've always been the curious one…just…ah, never mind."

And on that note she would leave the room, shutting my door partway behind her, leaving me with a stack of college brochures and a strangely guilty conscience.

oooIIIooo

"So you decide on a school, yet?" Zim asked me as we lay on the roof of my house some point towards the end of Senior year.

I shook my head, "Nah, I can't make up my mind."

"Why not? I mean, you have schools throwing money at you. You could go anywhere in the country."

"I know," I replied, sighing, "believe me, I know, but…"

Zim rolled over so that he was lying on his side, facing me, "But…?"

Again, I shook my head, "I don't know, man, I think I might just stay here. Go to school in town. What do you think?" I turned my head to look at him.

"I think that you need to have your brain meats scanned."

"No, Zim, I'm serious," I started, leaning up on my elbows.

"And so am I. Why would you want to stay here?"

"I…" I laid back down, "I don't know. It's just that, I mean, everything I need is here, right? I mean, I have Gaz—"

"Who will be graduating next year, and you know she has her heart set on the video game design program at that media school in Florida." Zim interrupted me.

"And the guys—"

"Who are all going to different schools around the country."

"They are?"

Zim raised a nonexistent eyebrow at me, "Yeah, Remember? Brain's going to that school in Michigan, Dirge to Chicago, Letter M to NYU…don't you pay any attention?"

I shrugged, "Yeah, but…guess I forgot. Anyhow, Gretch is staying here. We were talking about maybe getting a place together in the city—"

"And let me guess, you guys are gonna eventually get married and she's gonna pop out 2.5 crying, screaming, pooping worm babies, and you're gonna bring home the pig strips, right?"

I scrunched up my face in disgust, "Well not if you put it that way." I paused, considering, "Though, ya know, that might not be that bad…I mean, Gretchen is a nice girl. I wouldn't mind maybe settling down, starting a family—OW!" I rubbed my arm where Zim had just punched me out of my dazed daydreams, "What the hell did you do that for?"

"You were talking craziness, again. You, of all people, should not breed."

I scowled at the alien, "Like you should?" I countered.

"My species doesn't have to. All of our smeets come from synthetically genetically engineered DNA. You know that." Zim explained, smirking.

"Yeah, well…" I started, still rubbing my arm, "you suck."

Zim laughed, and lied back down.

We were silent for a few moments, staring up at the sky above us.

"Zim?" I asked, breaking the silence.

"Yeah, Dib?"

"You…you ever wonder what's out there?"

The alien shrugged, "Filling stations, mostly."

I looked over at him, sharply, before I realized that he was still looking up at the stars, and probably thought I was speaking literally. "No, that's not what I mean." I replied, shaking my head, "I don't mean out there, out there. I don't mean the stars, I mean beyond this city, in other towns in other states, in other countries, even. What else is out there in the world to be discovered? What adventures could be waiting…"

He shrugged, again, "I've seen it all, mostly, so I don't really have to wonder. You forget, I'm a good three hundred years older than you. You can do a lot of traveling in that time." He turned his head to look at me, "Why don't you go traveling yourself? Go see the world? Take a year off school and just roam around?"

I sighed, "I would love to, but…"

"…But?"

"But…there's my mom. I don't want to really leave her. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to be a momma's boy or anything," I explained quickly at Zim's sharp look, "but she just…gets so upset whenever my leaving is brought up. She always looks so sad…" I shook my head, "I don't know. It's stupid."

Zim shook his head, as well, "No, Dib, it's not. Finding a place where you belong, having people who love you, feeling wanted and needed, for once—that'd be hard for anyone to leave behind." His voice grew softer, and he started again up at the sky, "There are some people who can only dream of having something like that."

"Yeah…" I agreed, thinking back on the Reality I had decided to leave behind. I was still ever watchful for the Pinnacle Moment, the true Challenge, as it were, but in my mind and heart, I had pretty much decided against ever returning.

We were quiet another moment, before I decided to speak up, again. "I'd have you. You're staying here."

Zim sighed. "You're right on that one, Dib Worm. I'm still gonna be here when everyone else is gone."

I looked over at him, surprised by the sudden morose tone in his voice. "Why do you sound so upset?"

"Huh?" He looked over at me, startled, "Oh, well…the Tallests sent me a message yesterday. About the whole space port thing."

"Really?" I leaned up on my elbows, anxious for the news, "Why didn't you say anything, before? What happened? What'd they say?"

He sighed, again, moving his head so that he was facing away from me, "They told me…they said…there…there isn't going to be a space port, here. There…there were never plans to build one in the first place."

I was taken aback, "Huh? What are you talking about?"

"The Tallests…they sent me here on a false mission. On my home planet, I'm considered a nuisance; a screw up. They sent me here to get me out of their hair. There was no plan for a Space Port—Earth is too far away from any planet that my species have colonized or traded with to be of much use, and the people here, well…" He shuddered, and shrugged, still not facing me, "You get the idea."

I didn't know what to say for a moment, so I didn't say anything, letting the information slowly sink in. Zim's…entire reason for being here was a lie? I began to see a bit of a flaw in the perfection of this Reality. Maybe the Test was only a perfect version of my life. For other people, it was still pretty much the same. That didn't quite seem fair. Why should I be happy and content with my life while the people I cared about were suffering?

I reached out and laid a hand on his shoulder. He stiffened under my touch for a moment, and then relaxed.

"I'm sorry, Zim. I didn't know. For what it's worth…your leaders kinda suck. They don't know what they're talking about. I mean…they think that sock puppet shows are a viable form of entertainment."

Zim chuckled a bit at that, and then rolled back over toward me, "Yeah, they are kind of idiots, aren't they?" He asked, laughing a bit.

"You know…with your mission ending up, well, not really a mission, you don't have to stay in this town. You could go other places, do other things…" I mentioned.

Zim shrugged, "Well, yeah, I guess you're right, but—"

"Come with me!" I offered, "We could go explore, find some adventures! It would be great!" I was started to get a bit excited in my effort to cheer my friend up. The idea of going off on my own didn't seem that interesting, but the idea of anyone coming with me had never actually crossed my mind, before, and was getting more and more attractive by the moment. It was the perfect plan: it would get Zim's mind off of his banishment, and cheer him up, and I would get to explore the world without being bored and lonely. I would have a friend by my side, a reminder of my perfect life in my perfect dream.

Zim thought for a bit, and then smiled that cheesy zipper toothed grin of his, "Yes! Ok! I'll do it! Let's go!"

He stuck out his hand, I took it and we shook, sealing the deal.

At that moment the ground and the house beneath us started to rumble and shake. We both grabbed on to the roof with both hands, trying to steady ourselves as we bent and swayed with the force of the earthquake. After a few moments it stopped, the only sound being that of the neighbor's car alarm which had been set off.

Zim and I looked at each other, wide eyed.

"What the hell was that?" I asked, trying to steady my voice.

Zim looked as confused as I felt, "Earthquake?" he offered.

I shook my head, "We've never had one, before. That's just weird."

The alien shrugged, and then stood, making his way to the ladder, "Whatever it was, we should probably go back down to check if everyone's ok. Plus we really shouldn't be up here if it happens, again."

I nodded, agreeing, even though he couldn't see me with his back turned, "You're probably right." I replied, and got up, myself, following him to the ladder, and down the side of the house.

oooIIIooo

"Hello!" I called into the darkened house as Zim and I made our way though the living room, carefully stepping around fallen furniture and broken glass. "Mom? Gaz? You here?"

"We're in here," my mom's voice answered from the kitchen.

Zim and I slowly made it to the doorway of the kitchen to see my mom and sister both leaning up against the fridge, trying to push it back into it's place, because it had decided to wander a good three feet away from where it should be. Seeing us standing there, they both gave up and moved away from it, breathing hard from the exertion.

"What was that?" I asked.

They both shrugged. "I don't know," my mother answered, a strange look on her face as she looked at me. Her eyes were almost piercing, an emotion that I couldn't quite place lying beneath their surface, "I just hope your father is alright at the lab."

"I'm sure he's fine," Gaz stated, attempting to reassure her.

My mother nodded, and then looked back at Zim and I, trapping me again in that piercing gaze, "So, what were you boys talking about up there?" she asked.

I smiled, getting excited again about the plan, "Oh! I decided what I'm gonna do after graduation." I answered, moving to pick up a chair where it had fallen. Everyone else in the room followed suit, picking up chairs and closing the cabinets.

"Oh, really?" my mother asked.

I nodded, "Yup. See, I decided that I'm gonna take a year or so off to just…travel around, see what all is out there. Zim's gonna come, too, since he—" I paused, and glanced towards the alien, who was finding something very interesting about the toe of his boot, "—since he is so far ahead on his mission." Zim glanced up at me, quickly, flashing me a surprised little smile.

The ground gave another little shake. Everyone quickly grabbed onto whatever they could to steady themselves, but it passed, quickly.

"Oh." my mother replied, sitting down hard in her chair, "I see."

"Um…yeah." I looked around the room, wildly, paranoid, "Are…are you ok with that?"

She shrugged, "Well, I guess, I mean, I can't stop you, really. Though I don't know why you would want to leave, I mean, you have everything you need right here."

I reached a hand from across the table, placing it lightly on hers, "I know that, Mom, but…but I want to see what else there is out there. I want an adventure. This place is perfect, and will always be perfect, but I want to see if it is also perfect somewhere else. You understand."

Another shake. Zim and Gaz dropped to the floor with this one and just stayed there, holding their hands above their heads.

"What the hell is going on?" Gaz asked, scootching across the floor to the corner of the room. Zim just shrugged.

Our mom didn't even seem to notice. She sighed, "Of course I understand, I mean, we love you, feed you, give you whatever you want or need, and now you want to go see what else there is. You're bored, I understand."

I shook my head, becoming a bit disheartened and irritated with the response I was getting, "No, Mom, you don't get it." I insisted, thinking that if she was trying to talk me out of leaving, she was doing a piss poor job at it.

Another quake, this one stronger than the last. I could hear the dishes vibrating in the cupboard. I gripped the table hard with my free hand.

"No, no, I get it. It would be boring here, with just your old Mom and Dad, wouldn't it? Wouldn't be enough adventure, no danger." The shaking was getting stronger, "You know that if you leave here, you won't find this sort of perfection anywhere else, right? If you go, others might not understand. They might laugh and point and scorn you because you're different, because you're special."

I gulped, unnerved by both the incessant shaking of the house and the fact that my mom was seriously starting to creep me out. Some jagged thought was gnawing at the back of my brain. Something about my mom's voice, about the underlying tone of it. It was something that I had heard before, something that was making the hair on the back of my neck stand up.

"If you leave here, Dib, you may never find this sort of perfection, again. You will have to give all this up. If you leave it may never be the same. Are you willing to take that risk?"

The shaking was growing worse by the minute. The bookshelf in the living room fell over with a crash that resonated through the rest of the house. A few dishes started to fall from the cabinets.

"What are you…" Something was defiantly wrong. This wasn't any normal earthquake. There was something too intense about this moment, something too real.

I went to move my hand from atop my mother's, but she quickly grabbed it and held on, squeezing at a rate that was almost, but not quite painful, her face still turned away from me. Gaz was whimpering in the corner, Zim's arm around her shoulders as dishes and glasses fell and exploded around them.

"You're never going to have anything like this ever again, Dib, if you go, you will have to give all this up. This that what you want? To give this all way? IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?"

I tried to pull my hand away, so that it could join the other which was currently clapped against my ear, trying uselessly to drown out the increasing volume of the world falling apart around me and my mother's voice.

Something was wrong, something was making this all happen, something having to do with me wanting to leave, with me wanting to find some imperfections in my perfect world: something to discover, to explore; something Real.

"YES!" I shouted above the rising noise, trying to ignore the pain in my hand as my mother gripped it harder, "YES! I WANT TO LEAVE! I WANT TO FIND OUT IF ANYTHING ELSE EXISTS! I'M TIRED OF PERFECTION! I WANT ADVENTURE! I WANT REALITY! I WANT…" I took a deep breath, realizing, finally, what I was doing, what this all meant.

I stopped struggling and grabbed onto my 'mother's' hand, tugging her towards me across the table. She gasped in surprise and instinctually turned to face me, trying to pull free and right herself. In that moment, I saw why she was turning away from be, before. I saw her eyes. They where the same as I had dreamt them, before this whole charade began: red, glowing, evil. The eyes of a demon, of a devil.

The final piece fell into place, the final card making the whole house fall down around us. I strengthened my resolve, pulling her close to me, so I wouldn't have to scream over the noise of the world tearing itself apart.

"I want my life back," I whispered into the struggling form of my mother's ear, "I want to go home."

My mother's body screamed in rage, and turned on me, swiping at me face with a hand that had grown fierce claws. I instinctively let go, allowing myself to fall to the floor.

"FOOL!" the creature screeched. I could hear Gaz over it all, screaming in horror at what was becoming of the woman she knew as her mother, "IT IS TOO LATE! IT IS ONLY A MATTER OF HOURS BEFORE YOUR BODY IS DESTROYED! YOUR SOUL IS MINE! I'VE WON!"

I could feel myself growing paler as the blood drained from my face. It was too late? After all that I was going to lose, anyway? I wasn't going to make it? No, no, not after all this, not after all this! I shook my head, fighting away angry, defeated tears.

"No, no you're wrong! I passed! I want something more! I passed the test! You have to let me go! It's the rules! You made a deal!" I shouted.

The creature grinned, showing me a mouthful of yellowing, sharp teeth that looked even more grotesque in my mother's face, "You shouldn't make deals with the devil, kid," my mother's body hissed, "Didn't all that reading you do teach you anything? The bad guys. Never. Play. Fair."

There was a noise from the door way. I looked up to see a man standing there, his features hidden in shadows, "And lucky for you, kid, when it comes down to the line--" The man stepped forward, showing himself. I couldn't help a smile as the creature gasped in surprise. "—neither do a lot of the good guys."

"J!" The creature hissed, "How did you get here? You don't have the right Energy! This is breaking all the—"

J chuckled, "Rules? Yeah, well," he shrugged, a maniacal grin spreading across his face, "A little rule breaking never hurt anyone."

The creature screeched, and moved to attack me, reaching out with it's clawed hands. J leaped forward, jumping in between the creature and myself, taking it by surprise. It screamed in anger and slashed out with its claws. J grabbed its wrists, struggling as the creature fought to over power him.

"Nnnggg, Dib! Go! Run!" he shouted, trying to keep the upper hand on the creature.

I just sat there in shock, "No, I can't just run, what about you?"

The world continue to shake, the house creaking with the force as J struggled, "Don't worry about it, I can handle this! Go! You're running out of time!"

I realized that he was right, and slowly climbed to my feet, still hesitant about leaving him there, "But—"

He turned to face me, slowly, the expression on his face a mixture of pain and urgency, "Damnit, Dib, just get the fuck out of here! Run!"

I hesitated only a moment longer and then broke free of whatever internal bonds were holding me, running for the front door for all I was worth, jumping over furniture and dodging knick knacks as they flew from the shelves. I felt a piece of porcelain shrapnel cut into my cheek. Finally I reached the door. With one last look towards the kitchen, I took a deep breath and opened it, stepping over the threshold, into the world beyond.

Suddenly, everything was quiet. I found myself in a completely white hallway, devoid of any distinguishing detail. Surprised, I turned around, back towards where I came, but was greeted only by a white wall. There was no way to go back. I could only go forward.

I turned back around, and noticed, far, far away, at the end of the hall, there was a door. In the door was a key.

Suddenly, a noise broke through the silence:

the constant and unwavering beep of a heart monitor.

A/n: Dear god, it's 430 in the morning and I have to wake up for work at 9. Crap. Damn my muse for bugging me incessantly till I type exactly what is on my mind. Pooh.

At any rate, there is only one more chapter left. The next one is the last, not including the epilogue/final authors note, where I will be answering any questions that I have received in reviews and not gotten to and any other ones that you guys might have. I also might post up a link to the scrapped Envy chapter for anyone that might be interested. We'll see how that goes.

I have to admit here, that the "filling station" joke is not mine. I stole it…I mean, it's a reference to (hehe) this (http / www . deviantart . com / deviation /17233428 /) piece of fan art by "Windchaser". Go check out her stuff, it's awesome.

Yeah, so, there you go, people. Not much for me to say about this one. I'm anxious to get started writing the finale, but need to get some sleep. Stupid sleep.

As always, R and R and all that, and thank you all for reading this far. It really means a lot to me.

-j