SWEET VANILLA

3

It was a hot day. The ice cream parlor, checkerboard-tiled and air-conditioned, had a steady stream of customers. I waited happily as Jien ordered an entire bowl of vanilla ice cream for me, and a cone of pistachio mint with chocolate sprinkles for himself.

I wrinkled my nose as he rattled off his order. "That's really gross, Jien."

"Don't knock it if you ain't tried it," Jien retorted amiably.

The girl behind the counter dimpled as she presented me with my bowl, and I grinned back. "Enjoy!" she chirped, handing Jien his cone.

"Thanks," replied Jien with a wink. She blushed.

He found us a table for two near a huge glass window that overlooked the busy, dusty streets outside. I dug into my ice cream with gusto, rolling it around on my tongue before swallowing so the flavor would last longer. "This is great, Jien!"

He smiled. "Glad you like it." Then he bit into his cone.

"Jien, you're gonna get a brain freeze," I pointed out as I scooped another spoon of ice cream.

"That's the point." A funny expression crossed his face for a moment as the brain freeze hit him, and I laughed. Served him right for being greedy.

We ate quietly for a little bit. I was eating a lot slower than I usually would. I had perfected the habit of eating quickly before my food was taken from me, but it was great being able to slow down. "Is today really my birthday?" I asked Jien after swallowing another spoonful.

He nodded. "Yeah. Sorry about forgetting it, little bro." He sighed. "I should have taken you with me so you wouldn't be in the house with her. That was so fucking stupid of me."

I shrugged, carefully. "S'okay."

The silence was peaceful, and my mind wandered as I sucked my spoon. It was my birthday, so I felt thoughtful. I never knew the two people most directly responsible for my existence, my mother and my father. Were they as bad as I was? Was my birth mother a whore, like Mother said she was? What about Father? Who had my parents been, really?

Well, sitting across from me working on his pistachio mint cone was the perfect person to ask. "Jien, what were my parents like?"

He'd been gazing out the window watching a tall girl swish past, but he glanced at me without looking annoyed, making a thoughtful noise in the back of his throat. "Well, I only met your mother a few times, and I was kinda young, but she was -- whoa. Just whoa." He tilted his chair back. "Her name was Kazusa. Amazing lady."

"You really met her?"

Jien nodded. "Yeah." A fond half-smile quirked his lips. "Dad liked showing me off."

"What was she like? Was she ugly, like Mom says?" I couldn't keep the bitterness out of my voice.

Jien snorted. "Hell no. Mom's bitter. I'll say this for the old man -- he had good taste. Kazusa looked like a princess from a human fairy tale. Big blue eyes and sun-yellow hair down to here." He gestured to his waist. "And as smart as she was pretty. Lotta pride. You disrespected her and she would beat your ass, youkai or not. She had a good sense of humor." He sniffed and scratched his nose. "She was always nice to me, even though I was the competition's son. Your mom was no whore, kid. She was a brave and beautiful lady."

I flushed proudly. "What about Father?" I persisted. "What was his name?"

"Tsuneji," Jien answered, placing the four legs of the chair back on the floor again with a loud thump that made the other customers eye us with disfavor. "He was a flake. I mean, I guess he was handsome, since he had a lot of lady friends, but he had the self-control of a teenager and no responsibility. I'm pretty sure I was a mistake, though I bet Mom was thrilled to have a hold on him."

"Who did he love more?" I asked, wide-eyed. "My mom or yours?"

Jien raised his eyebrows. "You don't bother with the easy questions, huh."

"You make weirder faces when I ask hard ones." I poked my nearly-forgotten spoon into my ice cream and licked it clean while Jien considered.

"He loved them both, man," Jien said with the customary fairness everyone knew and liked him for. He added in a lower voice, "But I think he loved Kazusa more. Mom kept bugging him to choose between her and Kazusa, and I think he'd made his choice. Then Kazusa died…"

"What killed her?"

"Uh." Jien looked uncomfortable. "Labor."

My mother had died giving birth to me? What a waste of a brave and beautiful lady... "So what happened after... after my mother died?"

Jien looked relieved that I hadn't gone into my shell on him. "Dad showed up at the door with a bundle in his arms. It was raining, so he was soaking wet, but he kept the bundle dry. He handed it to Mom and told her that she was holding Kazusa's son, that she had to take care of the baby, for his sake, 'cause he was leaving. She started howling at him, and he just looked at her with tears running down his face and said he had to leave. Last thing I remember him saying is 'if you ever loved me, take care of the baby.' Then it was out of the door and out of your life. Out of mine." The last bit sounded bitter, and I realized that while I had never known my father, Jien had seen him turn tail and run.

"Do you know why he left?" I questioned.

Jien shook his head. "No clue. I guess he just couldn't handle Kazusa's death."

I thought about that for a moment and was glad that I had a big bowl of ice cream. "Am I like them, Jien?"

He looked me over. "Sure you are," he said. A bit of ice cream sat like a little green hat on the tip of his nose. "I mean... you got Dad's smile. And charm. Kazusa's big eyes, though, and her smarts. Thank the gods." He gnawed on his edible cone and daubed his nose with a napkin. "Kazusa's badassery, both of their good looks -- I definitely got shorted.".

I was bright red and beaming. "Thanks," I stammered.

He shrugged dismissively, but he was smiling, and I knew he'd caught my mood .

I swallowed my ice cream and took another spoonful. "So when did you first see me?"

"Oh, I took you away from Mom the second she started carrying on. I was a little younger than you are now. You were crying pretty hard -- you know how babies get when adults are upset."

"I must have looked disgusting," I commented, making a face. "And wrinkly. Babies look like aliens."

"Yeah, well, you cleaned up real nice once I calmed you down." He smiled. "Big ol' ruby eyes and soft red hair. You were a real pretty baby, Gojyo."

I deeply doubted it, but let him get away with saying so. It did make me feel warm to hear. "Who named me?"

"Me." Jien shrugged. "Mom was too busy having hysterics, Dad wasn't around and he'd forgotten to mention if you even had a name. Gojyo was the first thing I could think of, so there you were, bro. Sorry if you don't like it."

"It's fine." I poked at my ice cream with my spoon. "Um, sorry if all my questions are annoying."

Jien waved his hand dismissively in a "don't mention it" gesture.

"I just always figured I was a foundling or something," I admitted, looking at Jien sheepishly.

He raised a thick eyebrow. "Don't be a moron," he said firmly. "You're my little brother, and don't you ever forget it." He grinned. "Tough little punk like you's gotta be related to me somehow."

I smiled but didn't reply. I was almost done with my ice cream, and I ate extra-slowly. It tasted so sweet on my tongue. I wanted to hold time at this moment forever.