Author's Note: Hey, all. Sorry this one's a bit short, but it really needed to be by itself. I think the next chapter will be the last. We'll tie everything up and see how it ends. I already have the ending written and it is soooo totally cute!

Chapter Nine

Logan tried to concentrate on his driving as he pulled out of Veronica's apartment complex, but he was finding it difficult to do so. He couldn't stop himself from scrutinizing every detail of his encounter with her. On the whole, he thought it had been a positive experience. He chuckled and rolled his eyes.

'Listen to me,' he thought, 'a "positive experience" indeed.' But it had been unexpectedly . . . unexpected. He hadn't really known how Veronica would react to his surprise visit after the fiasco at the arraignment. Or his gift.

Anna Steadman had given him a full account of all that had transpired the night before, including details not released to the public. She'd wanted him to be fully informed to make his decision. She'd even shown him the infamous video tapes. Stupid thoughtless imptetuous devastating Lilly. Whatever residual feelings he had for her had disappeared in that moment. She was still his first love and always would be, but she had made her own decisions and so would he. If he'd been somewhat reluctant before, the information that Mrs. Steadman gave him had wiped away any doubt that remained.

He'd tried not to let himself focus on too many details, they just sickened and disgusted him, but one stood out. Veronica's car. A material possession. Material possessions were his specialty. One of the few things in this mess he could fix for her. But he knew she wouldn't accept such a gift unless there was no alternative, hence his making it legally impossible for him to take the car back if she refused it.

At the Chrysler dealership, he'd been disappointed that LeBarons were no longer manufactured. The salesman offered to procure him a "previously owned" one in excellent condition, but Logan quickly vetoed that. Used wasn't good enough for Veronica. Then he'd spotted the new Sebring convertibles. All smooth sleek lines and leather upholstery. Veronica would look good in one of those. He imagined her driving one down the coast, hair blowing every which way, singing along to the radio, and gracing him with one of her brilliant smiles as he sat in the passenger seat soaking it all in. Perfect.

Of course, he'd only be at her side if she wanted him there. And that was a humongous and doubtful 'IF'. Oh well, even if she didn't accept him as part of the package, at least he'd feel better about her driving a car with anti-lock brakes and an air bag.

He was feeling fairly confident on that front now though. Well, sort of. At least she hadn't yelled at him. Much.

He still felt a chill at the mention of his history of abuse. He'd completely forgotten Trina had brought it up at the hotel. He couldn't believe Veronica had picked up on it. Had she been thinking of it all this time? He shifted in his seat uncomfortably. He was more than embarrassed, he was . . . ashamed. It made absolutely no sense, but there it was. He hated weakness in anyone, especially himself. And those moments at the end of Aaron Echolls' hands were his moments of weakness.

He did feel better about the murder suspicion now. 'She trusts me in her heart,' he thought, grinning. It almost made him giddy. She had just been going by the evidence. 'Right house, wrong occupant.' But he was about to remedy that.

He was in a quandary about Duncan. Obviously, he wanted Duncan to be happy, especially after the past year. He'd lost his sister, he's pushed Veronica away because she may have been his sister, he'd been drugged out most of the time because his parents thought him capable of murder, and now Jake and Celeste had legal problems because of the cover-up with Abel Koontz. Yep, the one bright spot for Duncan was being able to pursue Veronica again without the possibility of it being incest. Logan wanted Veronica more than anything, but Duncan deserved her. When it came down to the nitty gritty though, it didn't matter what he and Duncan wanted. The decision was ultimately Veronica's to make - her choice. He just hoped she chose him.

Veronica was getting ready for bed, thinking about Logan and what he could possibly be up to. She was worried and she couldn't say why really. But if it had something to do with his father . . . oh, she hoped he wouldn't be that foolish. Then she rolled her eyes. 'Girl, we're talking about Logan here.' She'd considered following him, but for all she knew, he'd planted a tracker on her new car. Well, she would have. But he was probably just going home anyway, there was the big welcome home party to think about. She stopped brushing her teeth and stared at herself in the mirror.

'I miss him,' she thought suddenly. Maybe she'd give him a call. Just to see how the hor d'oeuvres were. Finger foods were a very important subject. She could be all dreamy eyed on the other end of the phone while he went on about cucumber slices and pimento spread. He wouldn't be the least bit suspicious that she was stalling him to keep him away from his father. She finished brushing her teeth and picked her up cell phone from the night table. Before she could hit send, she heard a knock on the door. She quickly pulled on a pair of jeans over her sleep shorts and went to answer it. A check through the peep hole revealed Duncan Kane. She frowned slightly, then shrugged and smiled as she opened the door.

"Hey, Duncan, what's up?" she asked pleasantly.

"Hi, Veronica. I wanted to talk to you. Is now okay?"

"Sure, come on in," she told him, holding the door open for him. He smiled and entered, looking around curiously. Veronica realized he'd never been to the apartment before. They'd broken up before the move. "How are you doing?" she asked.

"I'm good. Really good," he assured her, then grinned. "I'm no longer heavily medicated, so my outlook on life in general has sort of improved." Veronica chuckled.

"I'm glad to hear that," she told him sincerely, then grew more serious for the next question. "How are your parents?" Duncan frowned.

"I don't know, really. Dad just seems sad most of the time. And mom . . . well, you know Celeste. She's a rock, no matter what." Veronica nodded knowingly.

"Yep, she is that." Duncan slid his hand down her arm to hold her hand.

"Listen, I wanted to thank you. And I know my dad does too, he just can't bring himself to face you."

"For what?" she asked. Duncan looked at the ground, then back to her face.

"For finding out who killed Lilly." Veronica patted his hand, then pulled out of his grasp.

"Well, I didn't do it for you or him, but you're welcome. Pass the message on to your dad." She opened the door for him.

"It was nice to see you, but it's been a long day and I'd just like to go to sleep." Duncan hesitated.

"There's something else I wanted to talk to you about." Veronica looked at him a moment before closing the door.

"What is it?"

"It's about us. Now that we know for sure we're not related, we could start seeing each other again." He made a move to hold her hand, but she shifted them behind her back. Duncan frowned.

"I don't think that's a good idea, Duncan."

"Why?" he asked, the hurt evident in his voice. Veronica closed her eyes briefly.

"Because there is no 'us' anymore. There's too much behind us and too much between us. Do you even realize how much I've changed? I'm no longer pom poms and teddy bears. I'm social outcast and rebel extraordinaire. I'm all sharp edges." She took a deep breath. "I'm just not the girl for you." She paused. "And what about Meg? She is wonderful and she really cares about you." Duncan shrugged distractedly.

"Meg's all right, but she's not you." Since he couldn't get to her hands, he improvised. He grabbed her waist and pulled her towards him, placing his forehead against hers.

"Please, Veronica, our first time was together. I've never been able to forget that." Veronica stiffened. She couldn't help herself. She pushed him away roughly and slapped him. Hard. She was pissed.

"Our first time?" she yelled. "I don't even remember our first time! For the past year, I thought I'd been raped. I felt dirty and used and bitter. I'd look at those smug 0-9er faces every day at school wondering, 'Was it him? Or him? Was it all of them?'" Veronica took a deep shuddering breath and realized she was shaking and crying. Duncan was frozen where he stood, looking her incredulously as a red imprint of her hand slowly materialized on his cheek. He blinked and shook his head.

"Veronica, I'm so-"

"Don't," she told him, "just don't." She opened the door wide. "Please, go." He obliged her, hesitating before walking out. Veronica thought a moment, then bit her lip and stepped outside. "Duncan!" He stopped and slowly turned, looking at her cautiously.

"Yes?"

"I don't want to leave it like this. I thought I was okay with that night, maybe I'm not. It was a long year." She looked him in the eye. "I'd like us to be friends again, but that's all we can ever be. Do you understand?" He nodded.

"Yeah, I think I do." Veronica gave a nod of her own.

"Good night."

"Good night." He gave a final wave and disappeared around the corner.

Veronica closed and locked the door, then headed back to her bedroom. Backup was laying at the foot of her bed, paws sticking up in the air, snoring.

"Fat lot of help you were this time," she told him. More snoring was her answer. She removed her jeans and crawled into bed, turning off her lamp. As she lay there, the faces of her previous boyfriends floated through her head. Duncan, Troy, Leo, and Logan. All fucked up boys. Except for Leo. In that relationship, she was the fucked up one. She sighed. "Why couldn't I have been a lesbian?"

I posted a message earlier, but for those who didn't see it:

I just wanted to ask if anyone is going to the Comic Convention in San Diego this friday (7/15) to see the cast of 'Veronica Mars'. Cause I am! Hahahahaahahahaaa! Flying in from Houston that morning, flying back to Houston that night. Gonna see all my major hottie boys! Woohoo! What an inspiration it will be. Anyway, if anyone else is going to be there, let me know, maybe we can sit together and scream our lungs out! E-mail me tripetta at ev1 dot net. Oh, by the way, if you want some 'Veronica Mars' stuff, go to cafepress dot com and search 'mars investigations'. It's not official stuff, but still very cool. I'll be wearing my t-shirt and hoodie;) Will also be getting messenger bag, mousepad, coffee cup, buttons, am even considering the thong issue.

P.S. Buffybot, sorry I was so mean to Duncan, but it couldn't be helped;)