Middle Earth: Unleashed
Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans or Lord of the Rings. I also don't own Monopoly, well I do have the game…but I don't own it. Sue me, and you will get Sauron's Easy Bake Oven chucked at your head.
Author's Note: Hey people. Sorry I haven't updated in a while, life has been hectic, but now that the summer's here I have all the time in the world. I'd like to thank the people who very kindly reviewed. All four of you rock!
MuggleBuddy: Thank you very much! You're right, mush is a word. Forgive my stupidity.
Robinfan: Thanks! It's always great to meet another LOTR and TT lover.
Lena: Thank you! Yup, they should make those Easy Bake Ovens bigger. I used to have one when I was little, and I didn't get as much sugar as I deserved. Thanks for reviewing.
Inglor Nolatari: Cool penname. Yes, there are nine fellowship members, but the Fellowship plus Gollum is ten characters that tumbled out of the screen. Sorry, I should have specified that more clearly. I agree with you, Gandalf totally rules! Pippin's my favourite though.
Okay on to chapter 5.
Chapter 5: Hobbits and Titans and Villains, Oh My!
"Splendid! I just won a beauty contest!" Gandalf exclaimed, reading off of a little card.
"How many times do I have to tell you freaks, just because the card says you did something, it doesn't mean it's real! You, Gordorf or whatever, collect your ten bucks and be quiet!" yelled Cyborg. He had quickly lost his patience with the Middle Earthiens. Where the heck was Beastboy? Once Cy got his hands on that little grass stain for leaving him alone with these freaky people…
" Greetings, Friend Cyborg and new friends Frodo, Samwise, Aragorn, Legolas, Gandalf, Gimli, and Boromir. Tell me, where are friends Meriadoc, Peregrin and Gollum?" Starfire said, entering the room. She was carrying many shopping bags and was batting her eyelashes at Legolas.
" I saw Beastboy and those hairy-footed garden gnomes filling up water balloons in the kitchen sink. I don't know about the scary, blue dude though…hopefully he's leaving Raven alone." Cyborg responded. He knew that if Gollum got in Raven's way again she'd send him on a one-way ticket to the moon. Not that he'd really be missed around here.
"You landed on my Baltic Avenue square you foolish mortal. Pay up or you will feel the wrath of my bow!" yelled Legolas, his acute elvish eyes narrowing.
" Need not I remind you that my father is the Steward of the Great Realm of Gondor, and therefore I am much too important too pay you. You should be paying me! And besides, I rolled a six!"
"I know everything and I know that you rolled a seven. I command you to pay Legolas seventy five dollars!" retorted Gandalf.
"Now, now lads, let's not bicker. Isn't that right Mr. Frodo?" asked Sam, trying to keep the peace. Frodo nodded.
"If I am being forced to pay by you rule-abiding cretins that are beneath me, I shall ROB THE BANK!" shouted Boromir, grabbing a couple of five hundred dollar bills from the bank.
"Aye! That's cheating! I'm putting you in the jail of misfortune!" yelled Gimli, moving Boromir's piece (the racecar) to the jail square.
" I, Legolas Greenleaf, have hereby just won the lottery! All this coloured parchment with the little human on it belongs to me!"
"Silence! I am Gandalf! I'm in charge! Submit to me!"
"You cannot put me in jail! My ever-powerful father will have your head if you do not release me this instant. I would cut off your head, dwarf, if I had a half decent weapon and it wasn't so icky!" screamed Boromir. In frustration, he picked up Gimli's player (the little hat) and chucked it as far as he could (which wasn't very far). It landed in Frodo's glass of soda.
"News flash, Boromir…No one likes you!" yelled Aragorn. As you can see, the Middle Earthiens were already picking up modern language.
"Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun,Can't touch this," sang Legolas, who had watched an M.C Hammer music video with Beastboy before lunch.
"I am enjoying this peculiar drink. The bubbles are excellent," said Frodo, drinking his soda, not noticing that Gimli's little hat was in his cup. "Wait…something does not taste right." Frodo quickly swallowed, Monopoly playing piece and all. "Blehh…that tasted worse then Sam's rabbit stew."
"What's wrong with my rabbit stew? I'll have you know, Mr. Frodo, I worked very hard on that stew. It wasn't my fault we had no taters-"
"Laddie, YOU DRANK MY PLAYER?" roared Gimli, as Frodo backed away from him. "Now I'll never beat Boromir, that self-centered daddy's boy…"
"At least I take baths once in a while, unlike you, you smelly dwarf!" retorted Boromir.
"I resent that comment. Aragorn doesn't take baths either," snapped Gimli. He ducked immediately after as Frodo, being thrown by Aragorn, was hurled at him. Frodo crashed into a wall. Gimli, with a swing of his axe, began hacking up the Monopoly board in aggravation.
"Mr. Frodo! NOOOOOOOOOOO!" shouted Sam, a little too desperately, as he ran to help Frodo who was in a crumpled heap on the floor.
"ALRIGHT, WILL Y'ALL JUST SHUT UP, yelled Cyborg. Everyone was hushed, and Gimli momentarily stopped chopping the game board into bits.
"Perhaps this game of boredom was not the best idea after all," suggested Starfire, who was watching fearfully from the other side of the room.
Suddenly, Beastboy, Merry and Pippin ran downstairs looking terrified yet laughing their heads off.
"Okay, what did you do now?" wheedled Cyborg, shaking his head.
"We just got Raven bad!" cheered B.B, giving high fives to the hobbits.
"I presumed you had given up the 'not truly practical jokes' after what you did to me", said Starfire angrily.
"Yeah, but this opportunity was too good to miss, Star. It was three-on-one!" said Beastboy.
"We better go see if Raven's okay. You are so gonna get it," responded Cyborg eagerly. It would be much easier to stomp B.B at video games if he had two broken arms.
The Fellowship and the Titans, excluding Raven and Robin went up to Raven's room. Cyborg pounded on the door. "Raven! It's us. Are you okay? And Beastboy wants to apologize." After receiving no answer, he nudged Beastboy. "Yea, uh Raven, I'm sorry we played a joke on you. You're not mad, are you?"
Beastboy received more silence as a response. "She's mad", he confirmed. "Alright, Raven, we're coming in." Beastboy nodded to Cyborg, who blasted down the door with his Sonic Cannon. As the door fell, the Titans and Fellowship rushed inside Raven's room. They gasped as they saw Gollum jumping on the bed with glee, and no Raven in sight.
Robin's Room"Mmmphthgh!" yelled Robin through his bonds. "Arrghhth!" Translation: "I'm stuck! Help!"
He had been lying on the floor for the past twenty minutes. That stupid Gollum was doomed. He hoped everyone else was alright…well, everyone except for that Legolas guy. He had seen the way Starfire was staring at him. Robin wondered how Legolas would look if his hair was mysteriously shaved off when he was sleeping.
Suddenly, his roommates pushed open the door. In stampeded the Fellowship members and three fifths of his team. Aragorn was holding Gollum by the throat. "Robin! Raven's go-", began Cyborg. He stopped as he saw Robin tied up on the floor, looking absolutely ridiculous.
Gandalf started to snicker into his beard. Starfire hit him with a starbolt and went to help Robin. Frodo assisted her by using Sting, his sword, to cut through the bonds.
"Dude, what happened?" asked Beastboy, once Robin was mostly untied.
"It was that little blue monster! He tied me up with that creepy ball of his! Wait…Raven's gone?" Robin asked.
"And I have a feeling that Gollum here has something to do with it," responded Gimli. Everyone glared evilly at Gollum. He giggled to himself.
"What did you do to her?" Beastboy said, oddly aggressively.
"Ssshe wasss not being soo nice to uss, precious. We had to teach her a lessssson yessss?" Gollum answered.
"Where is she? And don't call me precious…it creeps me out" said Beastboy, shuddering. Gollum continued to giggle and laugh to himself. Beastboy sighed. This was all his fault. Actually it was mostly Gollum's fault, but Beastboy still felt partly responsible for this disaster. Wherever Raven was, he hoped she was alright.
Meanwhile…
"Cookie?" offered Sauron politely.
"No. Thank. You." Raven stated slowly and clearly. It was the forty sixth time he had asked her that. She was sitting at the kitchen table, still wrapped in the bonds that Gollum had tied her in. The two evil villains had removed the gag in her mouth so she could talk, but she could hardly move anywhere else, let alone use her powers to escape.
"Now, back to business" said Slade. "Will you assist us in world domination, including the destruction of your pitiful friends and the annihilation of all?"
"Now what do you think the answer to that question is, you idiot?" Raven retorted.
"Yes?" guessed Slade hopefully.
Raven rolled her eyes. "Look, why did you get Gollum to bring me here? I have nothing to do with either of you."
"On the contrary, my dear, you have plenty to do with us. We want to obliterate you and your pitiful friends, and you want to stop us. The only way you can save yourself is if you join us. C'mon Raven, we know you still are daddy's little girl. If anyone can help us take over the world, Trigon's daughter can." Slade responded, grinning.
"We've been down that road before, Slade. And this is not about my father, this is about you two wanabee super villans and the fact that you have too much time on your hands. Seriously, who takes over a couple of worlds for fun?" Raven pondered.
"Fine. If you will not help us, you are now our hostage. The Titans and the Fellowship will be led here to rescue you, and it will be their destruction." Slade said in a hoarse voice. "Earth and Middle Earth will burn and all will flee in terror, unless they are ready to bow down to the almighty Slade and Sauron! No army can withstand us! WE WILL RULE ALL!"
"How 'bout one of Sauron's Special Sugary Snack-Cakes?" Sauron interrupted, putting a chocolate cupcake, covered in thick layers of green frosting and adorned by pink candy hearts in front of Raven.
"No." Raven said simply, glaring at the cupcake in disgust.
"Sauron, how many times do I have to tell you…do not interrupt me when I am scheming evilly!" Slade yelled.
"Sorry, Slade. Here, have a sugary snack-cake. They'll bring down your blood pressure." Sauron answered sheepishly.
"Oh yea, I have a question." Raven began angrily, looking at Slade. "How did Gollum get his hands on a Sphere of Azar?"
"WHAT?" roared Slade. "Gollum has my Sphere? The one that Trigon gave me back when we were friends that accentuates powers?" (A/N: By the way, there's no such thing as the Sphere of Azar, I just made that up. It has nothing to do with why Slade is so powerful in Season Four. Also, as you can see this story is post- The End, but I won't spoil it for anyone by revealing the ending of the End part 1, 2, or 3, which aired in Canada last week. Though I will tell you that I thought all three episodes were awesome. After this chapter, this is all you will hear about Trigon. Now I'll be quiet.)
"Um yeah, Slade, old buddy, old pal, I forgot to mention. I sorta gave your Azarathian globe thing that Trigon gave you as a gift when you were partners to Gollum for the time being. It was part of our deal, he spies on the Titans and the Fellowship and he gets to be all powerful. No big deal, right Sladester?" confessed Sauron quickly.
Sauron didn't receive an answer. Slade had fallen to the floor in a dead faint.
A/N: Pretty long chapter, eh? Hope you liked it. Review and I will be eternally in your debt.