Middle Earth Unleashed
Author's Note: Hey people of the fanfiction universe! Welcome back to Middle Earth: Unleashed. Sorry I haven't updated in a while, I was so busy at the end of the school year. I had four billion things to do seeing as I was preparing for my grade eight graduation, had to write thank you speeches and a valedictorian speech, and pretty much do the last of all of my student council stuff before I graduated. And then after school finished, and I was all ready to do some fanfic writing, my computer blew up! Now everything is back to normal, thank goodness. So once again it's time to thank the new reviewers.
the lone psychopath: Glad you are enjoying it! I was annoyed too when I noticed they took away Glorifindel's part from the movie and Arwen had it instead…he rocked! By the way, I loved your The Slade Show fic. I was actually rolling on the ground with laughter!
The Skeet: Thank you! Have one of Sauron's Special Sugary Snack-Cakes for your kindness!
jfjkf: Thanks very much! You rock! Hope you like this chapter.
TK FoX: Thanks! I enjoyed your highlights; those were some of my favourite parts of Middle Earth: Unleashed, too. Especially the part when Gandalf tries modern lingo. Keep reading!
Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans or the Lord of the Rings books or movies, or the movie script. I also don't own Grease or the song "Sandy" from it. I also don't own the BSB song "Incomplete" or any other song mentioned in this fic. Sue me and you will be forced to marry Control Freak from Titans if you are a girl and Kitten if you are a guy, neither which are a pleasant experience.
Now on to Chapter 6.
Chapter 6: Pretty Dress LegolasGollum was strapped to a lie detector that Cyborg had created using his high tech skills in just a few hours. He was at the kitchen table and surrounded by the members of the Fellowship and the Titans, who all wore similar expressions of fury. Well, except for Merry and Pippin who were singing and dancing to Don't Phunk With My Heart by the Black Eyed Peas (which I don't own either, by the way), much to everyone else's annoyance.
"Answer the question, you creepy little freak", yelled Cyborg angrily. "Once again, WHAT DID YOU DO WITH RAVEN?"
"Do we really have to try torturing you for the answer like they did in Mordor, Gollum?" asked Gandalf tiredly. "At least they got "Shire!" and "Baggins!" out of you. That's more than you have given us!"
Gollum remained silent. He was giving no answers, but a large, obvious and mocking smirk had appeared on his face.
"Alright evil blue dude, I'm going to have to resort to bribery," Beastboy said, turning into a green pelican and flying out of Titan's tower towards the lake surrounding it. He returned moments later and emptied two large fish from his beak into the kitchen sink, and turned back into a human.
"FISHIES!" crowed Gollum, salivating. "Preciouss….look!…raw and wriggling…But no…we must keep master's secret…master is our friend…but we is so hungry…alright!…We tells! We tellssss!"
"Good thinking Beastboy", said Robin triumphantly. Gollum ripped of the wires on his fingers and ran to the sink. Boromir grabbed him by the arm and pulled him back into his seat.
"You will not get your meal until we question you" Boromir said severely. Gollum cowered in his seat.
"Who. Are. You. Working. For?" Cyborg said patiently.
"Mustn't ask us. Not it's business", whimpered Gollum, trying once again to make a rapid escape. Gandalf prodded him with his staff and whispered a spell under
his breath. A straightjacket appeared on Gollum.
"I didn't know you could do that Gandalf!" exclaimed Sam, impressed.
"Neither did I," admitted Gandalf.
"Did you know, Legolas, that I am Princess of my home world Tamaran?" interrupted Starfire, batting her eyelashes.
"That's er…nice," said Legolas politely, even though it was plain to everyone else except Star that he didn't care at all.
"Ooo…you know what I have purchased at the mall of shopping, Legolas?"
"No, I do not." Legolas said, simply. He had no idea what a mall of shopping was, but he wasn't about to ask. The less he talked to this girl, the better.
" I have acquired the Legolas figures of action!" Starfire shouted triumphantly.
Legolas stared in horror as Starfire placed seven different Legolas figurines in front of him, each in various poses.
"I have obtained 'you with a bow and arrow in a heroic pose', and I have obtained 'poseable you' and I also have 'Rohan armour you', and 'Deep of Helm's you'…and 'Pretty Dress you'…" Starfire recited.
"Pretty dress? I do not wear pretty dresses! This is an outrage!" Legolas yelled, grabbing the action figure from Starfire. He took a closer look at it.
"This is not I! This is a figure of GALADRIAL!" he shouted.
"Dude…it looks like you to me." Beastboy said. The other Titans nodded in agreement.
"I DO NOT RESEMBLE AN OLD WOMAN!" shrieked Legolas, in a very unmanly voice. Gimli snorted into his beard.
"Oh…did I show you 'speaking you, Two Towers version'?" asked Starfire. Legolas groaned in response.
"You repeat movie phrases when I push this miniscule knob on your back!" Starfire exclaimed. "Observe" she pressed the button.
"They run as if the whips of their masters were behind them," said the Legolas action figure.
"You would die before your stroke fell!"
"This forest is old. Very old. Full of memories and anger. The trees are speaking to each other."
"A red sun rises. Blood has been spilt this night".
Legolas was shocked. "Do I really talk like that?" he asked in amazement. Everyone nodded, concealing smirks.
"Dude, you are a pretty-boy nerd. Deal with it." Beastboy said sensibly.
"But I do not want to be a pretty-boy nerd!" Legolas moped, tossing his long blond hair over his shoulder absent-mindedly.
"Okay y'all, can we get back to the matter at hand here?" said Cyborg, gesturing to Gollum, who was swearing under his breath and writhing in his straightjacket.
Robin glared at Gollum through his mask. "Okay, we'll try this again, and we'll make it simpler for you. All you have to say is "yes" or "no". If you cooperate, we'll give you those niccccce fisshiiess. Got it?"
Everyone stared at Robin. "You-you just said "niccccce fisshiiess"!" stuttered Sam.
"No I didn't. What are you talking about?" said Robin, confused.
"He is beginning to feel the power of Frodo's ring, even though it is not in his possession. This is exactly like what happened to Boromir, that moron…" said Gandalf wisely.
"Need not I remind you that I am right here and resent that remark!" growled Boromir.
"Do you happen to have an axe sharpener around here?" Gimli asked Beastboy, glaring at Boromir. "I have a feeling I'm going to need it…"
"Is that a threat, Dwarfie?" Boromir retorted, taking a sword out of his sheath.
Beastboy was getting bored of all this fighting and headed over to Gollum to question him. He was getting quite worried about Raven.
"Take it off us! It burns us, precious. This straightjacket chokeses us! Take it off us and gives us our nice tasty fishies!"
"Okay freaky dude, answer yes or no. Are you working for Slade and/ or Sauron?" Beastboy said, angrily.
"Yess, prescious."
"Both?"
"Yess."
"Is Raven with them?"
"Yess."
"Did you send her there?"
"Yesss."
"How?"
"Not a yes or no question, precious."
"Fine. Are Sauron and Slade in Jump City?"
"Yess."
"Is Raven okay?"
"No. Sauron's…evil cookies. Pink and ssssprinkled. Scares us, precious."
"What the heck does that mean?"
"Not yes or no question, stupid green hobbit. Now gives us our fishies!"
Beastboy sighed. He had at least gotten something out of Gollum. He helped Gollum out of his straightjacket and watched as he bounded towards his fishies. He turned away from the now battling Boromir and Gimli, and the other Titans and Fellowship members who surrounded them cheering and taking bets. "Hang in there, Raven" he said quietly. "We're coming."
Meanwhile….
"Sladey, can't you see, I'm in misery…we made a start, now we're apart, there's nothing left for me. Love has flown, all alone, I sit and wonder why-y-y oh why, you left me, oh Slaaaaaaadey!" sang Sauron in a voice filled with emotion.
Raven sighed. "Sauron, it doesn't really count as writing a song if you take the song "Sandy" from the famous musical Grease and just change the word "Sandy" to "Sladey"."
Sauron wiped a tear from his helmet. "But the words are sincere."
Raven tried to control herself from laughing. "I know. Don't worry. Slade will be back. He's just cranky because his Sphere of Azar is gone." Raven was being oddly kind, but she thought it would be better to stay on the good side of a dark lord, even if he was wimpy as Sauron.
Sauron sniffled. Suddenly, he threw his arms around Raven. "You're my best friend!" he wailed. Raven patted him awkwardly on the back, which was quite difficult to do seeing as she was still tied up, though the bonds had been loosened a little.
Raven didn't understand how the most feared person…well, most feared eye- spirit- guy in Middle Earth was really such a softy. As Sauron toddled off towards his Easy-Bake Oven to make some of his Tasty Tater Tots, an idea struck Raven suddenly. Slade wasn't around to hold her captive, and Sauron was occupied. Even though she was tied up, it would be quite easy for her to escape. She hobbled over to the door, ignoring Sauron who was singing a Backstreet Boys' song (that Shadow Evenstar doesn't own and never will, got it?) very loudly in the kitchen, though he didn't exactly know the words.
" I try…to go on like I something….something else. I'm awake….lalalalala asleep! I pray…for this heart to be unbroken. But..uh…yada yada yada…INCOMPLETE!"
Raven chuckled darkly. "Incomplete-you mean like your brain, Sauron?" she said to herself. She turned the knob of the door slowly and opened the door wide. She jumped as she saw a familiar figure in the doorway.
"Going somewhere?" Slade sneered, his eyes flashing dangerously.
A/N: Liked it? Didn't? REVIEW!