A/N: I am a really big liar. I am like the blue dude in Big Fat Liar. Rory and Jess' date is being postponed till next chapter. Sorry. Just for clarification Derek was born on February 18, 2006.If Lorelai and Jess seem to have a sexual connection, it's not intended! Lorelai isn't like that! Neither is Jess! Big thanks to JoEySaNgEl1534! YOU ROCK! This chapter is sad. Really sad.

The Meltdown

She couldn't believe where she was. She turned to Rory who had momentarily put down The Fountainhead and gave her a get-me-out look. She only smiled and returned back to the text. She was fine really. She was stable, in no need of help, yet she was sitting in a shrink office.

" Lorelai Danes," Danes… that wasn't even her last name anymore. Lorelai got up and followed the nice nurse to a clear door, which read, Daisy Arujo. Lorelai opened the door to revile a girl of about her height and caramel colored hair.

"Hello. I'm Daisy," she stretched out her right hand.

Lorelai shook her hand while saying, " Lorelai,"

" So how are you today?" she said while she walked over to a chair and sat down. Lorelai sat opposite her on a black leather couch.

" I'm fine and you,"

" Good. Thanks,"

" I have never done this before," she confessed with an awkward smile.

" Ok. Well we basically just talk. Not necessarily why you're here, but just about whatever you feel comfortable."

" Ok, umm I have a 2 year old son whose name is Derek. I can barely look at him anymore. He's just so Luke,"

" Who's Luke?"

" My husband. He was hit by a drunk driver and died,"

" I'm sorry. How long ago was that?"

" Almost a month,"

" Do you have any other children?"

" Yeah my daughter, Rory, is 23 and she's graduating Yale next month."

" You must be very proud,"

" I am." She sat nervously and her eyes wondered around the room. She hated this stupid small talk. She just wanted to get this over with.

" Lorelai, do you want to talk about what happened?"

She nodded and the memory flooded back.

It seemed like a normal day. Just Lorelai, Rory, and Derek sitting at a table. Lorelai and Rory were drinking coffee and Derek was drinking apple juice out of a sippy cup. Jess approached him said, " Lorelai, my stuff from New York came in today."

" Oh great!"

" Yeah so if you guys want Luke's stuff, you should get it today or tomorrow."

" Umm today's fine for me. Rory?"

" I have a 10:00 class today that should be over by 11. So I won't be here until 12."

" You both could come in then. It's the rush hour though."

" That's fine Jess. We're perfectly capable ladies. Right, Rory?"

"Yes," she nodded and sipped her godly nectar.

" Do you have any boxes?"

" No,"

" Ok well I have to find some,"

"I might have extras since I am moving out of Yale soon."

"Perfect,"

" So do you guys want to order?"

" I'm having pancakes with a side of sausage,"

"Umm" Rory thought for a moment, " a chocolate doughnut and pancakes with a side of bacon."

"Derek will have a chocolate doughnut,"

That was it. Jess eventually brought them their food and they ate it. They paid and went off for the day.

As the clock struck 12, Jess scrambled about the diner taking orders, serving orders. It was pure chaos. Lorelai and Rory walked carrying flat boxes while Derek waddled behind them.

He saw Jess and said, " Hi S"

" Hey Derek!" he replied. They both went on their way and Jess continued his this 'dance of the diner' for about 15 minutes before going upstairs. The room was a vision of boxes: open boxes, closed boxes, written on boxes, and taped boxes. He couldn't even see people. All he could see was boxes.

" Guys, where are you?"

"Down here," Rory replied.

" I am so glad you give such vivid direction, Ror."

" Your welcome. Just follow the sound of my voice."

He attempted this while Rory rambled on about figgy pudding. "Rory, Christmas isn't for another 7 months,"

" So, when has figgy pudding become a strictly a Christmas dessert,"

He was getting closer, " Since the beginning of time." He found the trio sitting over a black baking pan that was in scripted with 'Derek's pan September 2006-September 2007' in silver sharpie.

" Why does that say Derek's pan?"

Smiling at the thought, Lorelai responded, " One day I forgot to put toys in the baby bag, and Luke took him that day. He gets to the diner and realized he had nothing for him to play with, so he tries his key, his baseball cap, and his measuring spoons. Nothing was keeping this kid occupied, so as a last resort he used this pan and Derek thinks it the best thing in the world. So until last year this pan went everywhere with him, and I mean everywhere. Friday night dinner, the inn, the diner, the car, his crib. And it was only this pan too, no other pan could replace his 'fan'."

Jess snickered asking, " What would he do with it?"

" Bang on it, sit in it, and he attempted to wear it a few times."

" God your kid had serious issues!"

" Hey," Rory slapped him playfully, " That's my brother you're talking about!"

Lorelai became silent and tears suddenly dripped from her face.

" Mom?"

Lorelai faced was now a bright pink and her make-up smudged. " Why Rory? Why me? Who did I hurt so bad that they took him from me?" Rory, crying, wrapped her arms around her mother and rocked her back and forth. Jess took Derek downstairs, where the world was operating normally. Lorelai continued, " I miss him so much. I miss his face. I miss everything about him, Ror. I can't function anymore. I NEED HIM. I can't raise Derek without him. I can't breathe without him. It hurts so bad, Rory."

" Shhh. I know." She tried to comfort her.

" No you don't. No one does. I can't keep putting on this mask anymore. I can't pretend I'm happy when all I can think about is him not being here. I need him." She sobbed heavily for almost an hour repeating 'I need him' until she fell asleep in Rory's arms. Rory then moved her to the bed, called the inn, and went down stairs. The diner was empty except for Jess and Derek, who was asleep in the playpen.

" How is she?" He asked while taking off a fresh pot.

"Asleep,"

" How are you?"

"Awful,"

" I'm sorry," he said while coming around the counter and giving her a hug.

" I just can't see her like this anymore," she said in sobs.

" You both are going to be fine," tightening his grip while taking in the smell of her hair.

" No we're not. You should've of heard her. She kept going on about how she couldn't survive and she couldn't breathe."

" I know,"

"She's such a mess," she continued sobbing into Jess, sweet caring Jess. Who'd turned into her Luke as soon as he entered the town limits, " Oh god. I'm a mess."

Jess pulled a tissue out of a nearby box and handed it to her.

" Thanks… for all of this," she said as she blew her nose.

" It's nothing,"

" No it's something. I mean ever since you got here you've been like Superman,"

" You're welcome," a few seconds of silence passed, " What do you think caused it?"

" Probably just being in there. All the memories."

"I came down the stairs and that was it and after we got home Rory told me I had an appointment with you,"

"Wow," Daisy said as she wiped a tear of her face, as did Lorelai.

" Yeah,"

" How are you feeling?"

Lorelai contemplated this for a while, " It's a whole mix of feelings really. I'm so sad because he's not here. I'm relieved to have actually broken down."

" Why?"

" Because now it's off my chest. I don't have to keep smiling. I know that if I need to I can break down. I don't have to just fight through it."

" Well that seems to be it for the day." She stated while standing, " Lorelai, it was very nice to speak with you today."

Lorelai followed suit while saying, " You, too."

"If you choose you may make another appointment next week or whenever you see fit,"

" Thanks," Lorelai went to the waiting room to see Rory had moved on to Please Kill Me.

"How was it?"

"Fine,"

" How do you feel?"

" Much better. Thank you for sending me here without my approval."

" You're most very welcome,"

" Well let's get out of here! I know someone has a date with a very special someone."

Rory blushed, " Yeah"

"Come on you only have 3 hours to get ready,"

" Oh god. We're getting out of here." With that she grabbed her stuff and went for the car. When she got home, Rory would be preparing for one of the most romantic nights of her life. If only she knew.

A/N: Ok I know she really randomly broke down, but I had the same experience recently so I wrote it of that. I know it was really sad. I was even crying during this chapter. Lorelai's shrink is named after Julia Robert's character in Mystic Pizza, which is set in a small town in Connecticut. I'm the biggest Julia Roberts junkie, so that's why she's in there. Rory and Jess' date is next chapter, I PROMISE. I know how everything is going to happen and it truly will be one of the most romantic dates of her life! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!