Engaging

Jitters

Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me, they belong to J. K. Rowling. Except for Sara Sweets, she belongs to me . Author's note: This is based upon what I have taken from the Harry Potter stories, and is totally in my head. And I seriously believe that Voldemort is either in love with Lily or is her half-brother, so that is in this story. If you are easily offended by vulgar language or sexual content you should not read this fanficiton. Please review.

Lily was so nervous. She was in her wedding dress, the dress was long and white and very pretty. Underneath she wore a corset that was a touch too tight.

Sara laughed as her best friend began to hyperventilate and grabbed a paper bag and instructed her to breathe into it, a Muggle trick that Lily had informed her about long ago when they had watched some movie.

"It's okay Lily, what do you have to worry about? Certainly not the wedding night, seeing as how that's nothing new for you." Sara teased.

"This isn't funny!" Lily said sternly,

"Stop overreacting, it could hurt the baby." Sara said, a gentle smile on her face. Lily had waited so long for this day and it was a beautiful day to have a wedding on.

Lily stopped immediately, she never wanted anything to happen to James's baby, she would protect it with her life, but at the moment she had to protect herself first, for if she died or was hurt, so was the baby.

Sara laughed more at this, then restrained herself, "I don't see what you're so nervous about, you love him, he loves you, neither one is going to run away at the alter, and you're already pregnant with his baby. What do you have to fear?" Sara asked, playing with her bouquet of red roses.

Lily shook her head, "It's not so much James as everyone else that I'm afraid of." She said, "It's not the man or the alter, it's the eyes that follow you there."

Sara gave her a comforting smile, "Mine will be one of those pairs of eyes that will be on you too, but I swear I won't go mass murderer on you and kill everyone here so long as you promise not to faint."

Lily gulped, "But…what if I do faint?" she asked, fear in her voice. This was supposed to be the best day of her life, what if she ruined it?

Sara shrugged, hiked up her dress, and sat on the pink vanity on one side of the room, "Then I'd have to carry your ass the rest of the way there."

"Wouldn't that be the greatest picture to paint?" Lily mumbled, angry with Sara for being so unladylike in her bride's maid dress when Lily herself could not even sit down properly in her heavy wedding gown. "You know I doubt you can. I now know the reason brides always walk so slow."

Sara blinked, "Really? How come?"

"Because the stinking dress weighs at least a hundred pounds!" Lily said frustrated, poking at the lacy fabric. It really shouldn't be as heavy as it was.

Sara smiled, "Well we can charm it if you want," she suggested.

Lily smiled then shook her head, "Nah, the heavier the better. It makes it harder for me to bolt."

Sara cocked her head to one side, "Are you really that afraid of this audience? Why didn't you simply get a small wedding?"

Lily chuckled a bit, "I wanted one. Not many of the people in the audience are from my side. But James had so many people that he 'had' to invite that we 'had' to go with a larger wedding."

Sara smirked, "I think he'd invite the whole world if he could, just to let all of its occupants know that you are his and his alone." She froze when she saw the sadness in Lily's eyes as she looked at the hem of her pretty white dress, "What is it Fox? What's wrong?"

Lily shook her head and closed her eyes, "It's okay, I'm fine."

"What is it that you want?" Sara persisted worriedly.

"Something that simply can't be done." Lily answered.

Sara frowned, "You want him here don't you?" she asked, her tone serious, her emotions blank. She knew that Lily loved him, though she couldn't see how.

"He's my brother, Sara," Lily answered, "it feels strange not to have him here. I always thought that he would be the first person to dig into the cake, or the first person to throw the rice, or the one who catches the garter. It feels so empty now, without him there, his smile upon me. He always said that I would look lovely in a wedding dress, that the man I marry had better take good care of me 'or else'. He used to make me laugh about this day. And now I don't even really feel like smiling without him here, tugging my hair and telling me that if I ever need to get away from the groom I could go to him."

Sara sat there and listened as tears streamed down Lily's eyes. She watched as Lily's hands covered her face and her entire body began to tremble.

She wanted to feel sympathetic, to feel sad for her best friend. But all she could feel was anger, and fear. She never wanted to see Lily's brother again, and she couldn't be happier that he was going to miss the wedding, but Lily missed him, sought him out in her heart.

Sara looked away, "Lily, he is no longer your brother. He's different, changed. I don't know how he was with you, but he's evil now. I'm sorry that I can't comfort you when you really need me to, but I just can't…I can't even think of what I'd do if I were to see him again."

She took a deep breath as the news she had been hiding needed to come out, Lily needed to be told the truth.

"Lily," she began.

A knock came to the door.

"Who is it?" she called annoyed.

"It's me," the voice was Remus's.

"Come on in Rimi, we're just having girl talk." Sara said.

"Are you implying that I am a girl?" he asked as he stepped into the room and shut the door behind him. He looked up and smiled, "Lily you look lovely. And Sara looks wonderful in that bride's maid dress." Then he sensed the tension that filled the air, most of it radiating from Sara. "Did I come at a bad time?" he asked.

Sara forced a smile, "No Rimi, you came at the perfect time." No, Lily did need to know, just not now. That was something for later, not something to ruin such a wonderful occasion with. Lily might even call the wedding off if she knew. But Sara knew that that could not be so. It had been in her nightmare. Everything had.

She had seen things that made her cry, things that made her scream.

In the length of a single night se had seen a lifetime, her dreams had never been so clear.

This dream was a reality, and no matter what she did it could not be helped.

"Remus, do you think this is a good idea? Me marrying James so soon after school?" Lily asked.

Remus smiled comfortingly and offered her chocolate, something that would have normally made Sara call him "feme" and say that it was that time of the month for him, but Sara remained quiet, he had, indeed, come in at the most inopportune of times.

"Lily, if your heart tells you that this is the right choice then you must follow it. Do you love James? Do you want to be his wife? Do you want him to be your husband?"

Moments of silence followed. A strained silence, for Sara was watching Lily intently and Remus was watching her calmly, they both knew the answer that Lily wanted to say. The thing was, would she say it?

Lily raised her chin, "Yes, this is what I want."

Sara could have cried, but instead she smiled and attempted to be herself, if just for one day, "Well then lets get this wedding started!" she smiled through her fears.