The Persistence of Memory
By
Deborah J. Brown

A Wild Arms III Alternate Universe story: Wild Arms III is copyrighted to RPG Dreamers and Sony.

Chapter 1: The Devil in the Dark

"Damn, OUCH! damn, damn, YEOW! damn, damn! Aww (&$&#$(&#$(&!"

The muttered growls, grumbles and not at all well muffled curses echoed in the depths of the cavern known as the Den of Miasma, interspersed between sharp gasps of pain. The beasts that lived in that place were carefully avoiding the cave hidden in the depths and its sole occupant. They had long since learned to leave the source of the noise alone, lest they become its next meal. Only four living beings dared approach, and that with a certain level of caution.

"Well, if that doesn't prove it's something human," Gallows commented wryly, "nothing does." The Baskar tribesman coughed sharply as he avoided one of the poisonous creatures that clung to a grey stone floor, its acrid odor stinging the big man's nostrils, the bright pink color clear warning of deadly poison. The big man paused on the other side, bells in his braids jangling as he turned to wait for the others.

"The boy did not describe a human creature, however," Clive noted, clinically as he bombed a path through the things. "Hurry, Virginia, this type regenerates quickly." He settled his glasses, green hair looking more brown in the dim light.

"Thank you, Clive," Virginia Maxwell answered as she jumped past a group and regained her footing with the help of his steadying hand. "The description was familiar, though. Can't quite put my finger on it." She frowned as she straightened her skirts, pretty features serious, "Green scaly skin, fins on the arms, fangs and spiky purple hair."

It was Jet, whose memory of the recent past was much clearer for the fact that they were about the only real memories he had, who muttered, "Cascade."

Virginia swung around, staring at the white haired youth. "Janus Cascade? You're right! He's just the sort to have survived everything somehow." She shook her head, her mixed feelings about the Drifter turned demon leaving her – as always – confused and angry. From their first meeting until now she'd never quite known how to feel about the man.

He's smart, gutsy and glib. If he weren't also sly, sneaky and selfish he could have been a friend. There was more to it than that, but Virginia didn't really want to think about the other possibilities. She especially didn't want to think about the way those amber no, yellow eyes would look at her, or the feelings that they inspired.

Forcing her thoughts away from that line, Virginia wondered what Janus was doing here. She hadn't seen him since that day in Yggdrasil tower, when they'd fought their way past him in order to halt the prophets' attempt to 'evolve' Filgaia. Janus' reasons for fighting were different from that of the prophets, he was more interested in trying to defeat Virginia and her companions for his own self-gratification. After having been balked at every turn, he apparently had come to regard Virginia as his best enemy. What has he been up to since then? We thought we killed him, but.

Virginia was reminded of her certainty that he still lived, in those moments when the world was recreated by their memories. Whatever had happened to him must have left him incapacitated throughout their battles with Siegfried and the Dream Demon, Beatrice. One thing was certain. If he'd been in any state of mind to interfere, to try and turn the situation to serve his own selfish needs he would have. He used to be a man of honor. If only he could be again. I want to believe he could be. Want to, and dare not.

"If it was Janus," Virginia said finally, "Then that kid was lucky to get away." She remembered the way the boy had come running into the inn at Ballack's Rise, crying in absolute terror. Admittedly he'd been up to mischief, exploring the cliffs to the north of the town in an area that was still heavily populated with dangerous beasts, but that didn't excuse the way Janus had jumped out at him, yelling incoherently as he picked the boy up and dragged him away. He'd been wearing a cloak and hood, but the boy's struggles had pulled the cloth free of his face, revealing the demonic features.

Virginia remembered those features only too well. Better, perhaps, than the features that Janus Cascade had been born with. Their last fights had impressed the demon Janus' appearance on her memory to the point that she barely remembered the sharply handsome man that Janus had once been. That thought had to be suppressed again, forced aside along with regrets that she simply refused to acknowledge. Odd, though. If it is him, the guardians aren't reacting. Perhaps, then, it was just another monster.

"Almost there," Gallows said, drawing his ARMS and moving more slowly. The sounds of anger and pain and annoyance were echoing through the opening ahead of them.

"Hmmm. He seems to have made the nest of the goldrake his home," Clive murmured. He had – long ago now – been hired by the people of Ballack's Rise to handle the great poisonous beast and he knew the Den quite well because of that. "As I recall, there is a secondary exit from the main chamber. If we are to capture him, we must move quickly."

A howl of pain made Jet shake his head. "I doubt he even knows we're here."

"THE HELL I DON'T! GET OUT OF HERE! I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR YOU BUNCH OF." The curses that followed came close to setting the air on fire with their rancor. "SCAT PRINCESS! YOU'RE THE LAST PERSON ON FILGAIA I WANT TO TALK TO!"

.oOo.

He curled up, agony searing its way through his body. Senses far more receptive than human made him only too aware of her presence. He could feel her through them, feel the pressure of her thoughts, the force of her regrets and her angers and her memories. He'd wanted to avoid her, wanted to keep as far from her as possible, but fate seemed to have different plans. Maybe this was inevitable, anyway.

The sound of someone stalking closer, into the cavern that surrounded his bolt-hole, echoed in the shadows. Anger flowed over him, almost enough to push the physical pain out of his thoughts. Anger that forced him to yell, "GO AWAY!"

"I will not!" Virginia growled. "What the hell do you think you're doing, Janus Cascade? You scared that boy out of ten years growth."

There was a moment of silence, broken only by the sound of Janus' breath, echoing harsh and angry in the depths of his sanctuary. "Oh. Good to hear it. That'll give his parents ten extra years to teach the little brat some manners. I hold absolutely no hopes of him achieving a lick of sense." He couldn't help but blame the boy for his current predicament.

Virginia didn't yell her response, but her anger was palpable. "Bastard."

"Yeah? And you're only just coming to that conclusion, Princess?" A agonized groan accompanied his question, then a growl as Virginia stepped closer. "Back OFF, Princess!" The Dark Spear scraped the stone as he staggered to his feet, leaning desperately on it, trying not to fall. He glared out of the shadows at her, seeing the strength and annoyance in that face, lovely despite the faint tinge of green and pink cast by the luminescence in the cavern. He managed to growl through gritted teeth, "I told you. I don't want to talk to you."

Virginia shook her head. "What are you up to, Janus? What kind of trouble are you trying to cause?"

An exhausted and exasperated sigh escaped Janus' lips. "Sugar doll. You're the one who unh should know. Now get the hell out and leave me alone." Please go away, woman. You're only making it worse. I can think straight when you're not around me.

"Not until you answer my question! Why'd you attack that kid?"

"Going to kill me if you don't get the right answer?" Janus asked sourly. "Going to come in after me? You got me trapped, Princess. There isn't a thing I can do right Awww shit OUCH! right now." The pain of his injury forced him to hold still again as he clutched at the Dark Spear and struggled to remain upright.

.oOo.

It was beginning to dawn on Virginia that something was wrong with her old enemy. No. Tell the truth. You knew something was wrong when he started that yelling. You were just so pissed at him you didn't want to think about it. "Come out of there."

"NO."

"We could always go in and drag him out," Gallows suggested, causing Jet to roll his eyes. "Well? I mean, he didn't actually hurt the kid. Unless we're going to just up and shoot him up from here, we either leave or we make him come out." He paused, adding, "Besides, I think he's hurt."

"What was your first clue?" Janus grumbled angrily. "Gods, Princess, how do you put up with that kind of stupidity?"

With a long slow breath, Virginia forced herself not to answer. Instead she marched forward, causing Janus to stand a bit straighter, swaying slightly as he glared out at her. "I told you to back off!" Ignoring the man's protests, Virginia kept walking, aware of her friends' concern, sensing them preparing to attack if Janus did anything at all that might hurt her.

Tense, almost certain that her cornered enemy would attack, Virginia could only hope that instinct was right, that Janus had hurt himself somehow and was simply too injured to fight. She climbed up into the hole, ignoring Janus' frantic orders for her to back off. His breath was coming fast and shallow now, as if he were terrified. "GET AWAY FROM ME!" The Dark Spear trembled in his outstretched hand.

"No." Virginia stepped up to Janus and pushed his hand down, feeling the hard scales through the fabric of her gloves. "You're hurt. Come out. Let us look at you."

A sob escaped Janus' lips. "Damn you."

"If you insist. Now come" She dodged backwards as Janus' left hand came up to backhand her. She would have attacked in return, reacting to the physical threat, but Janus' motion apparently put him entirely off balance, for he toppled forward with a frustrated growl of pain, landing against her and bringing them both down. The Dark Spear clattered to the ground, the sound echoing loudly in the close confines of the cave.

"Virginia!" Her friends leapt into the nest quickly, Gallows grabbing Janus off her and Clive helping her to her feet while Jet took up a guard position. Angrily, Gallows lifted Janus up off his feet and swung him up against the wall, eliciting a scream of anguish that set their ears ringing in the confines of the nest.

Startled, Gallows dropped their old enemy onto the ground, stepping back with his hands in the air. "I didn't do anything!"

If Janus' curses had been imaginative earlier, they practically blistered the air now. "WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO GET YOU STUPID JERKS TO BLOODY WELL LEAVE ME ALONE!" he screamed at last, struggling to get his knees under him and failing. "JUST GO THE HELL AWAY!"

Clive lit a lantern, brightening the darkened area and revealing what Janus was so desperate to hide. "Oh dear" he whispered, while Jet fought back a snigger and Gallows guffawed outright. Even Virginia, while sympathizing with the transformed Janus' plight couldn't hold back the small giggle.

"Oh yes. It's a barrel of laughs. Couldn't get much more funny than this." Janus knelt with his head buried in the crooks of his arms, wrist fins bent at an awkward angle, entire body shaking. "Why don't you go sell some tickets while you're at it?"

Virginia bit her lip, staring down at her former enemy and at the cause his angry embarrassment. He had every reason for it, too. Somehow he'd run afoul of one of the beasts that haunted the cliffs and mountains in the area. Worse, he'd apparently been ambushed, for the damage was entirely to his backside. Long, fine, quills had turned his hind end into a literal pin cushion. There were hundreds of the things and his once beige, now grey and ripped, pants were stained a bright red. Over half of them were broken off, shattered by the force of Gallows' attempt to teach Janus some manners.

"What are they?" Jet asked after a long moment.

"Quills. Likely from a spiny pill bug. They're called a quiller out this way. A fairly rare and usually timid species, but dangerous to disturb." Clive knelt beside Janus. "The poison they inject would kill an ordinary human being. Obviously his demon nature saved his life, if not his dignity."

The low growl from Janus' throat would have been more terrifying if it hadn't been broken halfway through by a sob of agony. "You've had your laugh. Now. Get out. Go away and leave me alone."

Virginia looked at the others. Even Gallows, who'd found the situation most amusing, had a rueful expression on his face. "We can't. Let us help you."

"GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU BITCH! HAVEN'T YOU DONE ENOUGH TO SCREW UP MY LIFE?"

Virginia took a deep breath and looked at the others. On one hand, she hated to leave any living creature in pain. On the other, Janus Cascade had done more than enough to earn her enmity. "All right then. Fine. We will." To the utter surprise of her companions she jumped down and headed for the exit. After a moment the others joined her, their puzzled silence questioning. She shook her head, holding her hand up to tell them to wait.

Once the four had reached a quiet place, Virginia stopped to look at them. "He's got to realize he needs help," she said softly. "I think he'll be calling for us any minute now." She wished she sure about that. It was a question of whether Janus' masculine pride was stronger than his self-interest. She knew that she could count on the latter. Much as she might wish him to be otherwise, Janus was a self-serving, calculating, bastard. Once he realized that the only help he was going to get was from the one woman he hated most he'd change his tune. At least enough to try and sweet talk me into getting his butt healed up.

"I dunno," Jet said. "He seems pretty mad at us. I wouldn't want t'place a bet on that."

"What's his beef, anyway? It's not like we went out of our way to beat him up," Gallows grumbled. "He got himself involved with those so-called prophets, after all. Everything that he got, he pretty much asked for. Double-crossing everyone in sight and just plain being a nuisance."

"While I agree with you whole-heartedly, it is true that we have balked him at every turn. It is not, perhaps, surprising that he regards us with a certain amount of rancor. He is not a man to take frustrations well." Clive shook his head. "What I would like to know is why his demon form took so much damage from something so small. I would have thought him less easily injured, considering how much he seemed able to take from us."

Virginia shook her head. "I don't know," she whispered. "It doesn't matter. Let's wait him out."

.oOo.

The pain took entirely too long to subside, but in a way it was preferable to his awareness of her sitting outside the cavern and waiting for him. Her belief in what he was, was an ache inside him that left him confused and unable to deal. It had been bad enough, waking up alone in Yggdrasil, unable to define himself and unable to defy the definitions that had been placed on him.

He'd tried, tried very hard to get past what had happened, tried to live up to all the expectations and – confused by what he ought to be and what he'd been – had been forced to hide away, to conceal himself from the rest of the world. Was it, he wondered, a matter of inevitable destiny that had brought him to cross paths with her again, or was it simply a matter of ill-luck.

Doesn't matter. Can't let her have her way. Got to get away. Got to lick my wounds somewhere else, where she isn't there to make me miserable. He forced himself to his feet, feeling all too human sweat dribble down his scalp, salt stinging his skin. The mix of demon and human didn't work very well. His body was awkward, as if built by a committee that simply couldn't agree on what was and wasn't necessary. He ignored the pain, ignored the trembling exhaustion that said that he would be better off giving in, better off giving way to Virginia's expectations, and forced himself to move.

Using the Dark Spear as a prop, Janus stumbled slowly down the pathway, fangs gritted beneath the exo-skeleton grating that covered his mouth. They were agonizing, not made to fit a human mouth and he wondered why he needed them as he struggled to make his way out. She'd be there, of course, he couldn't help but pass her, but he was not going to ask for help.

As Janus stepped out into the cool night air a step attracted his attention. Virginia stood forward. "Well, it's about time you" She stopped as Janus turned a look he knew to be terrible on her. I don't want your help. I'll throw myself into the abyss rather than accept it. "Janus I"

He turned away, continuing down the path, silent and radiating fury. Every motion was agony, will alone was holding him to his course. "Where the hell are you going?"

Janus ignored Virginia's question, stumbling and falling over several rocks and struggling to find his feet again. Only when Virginia rushed close to him did he pause to growl, "Got places to go and no one to see. Leave me alone, Princess. Go find someone else to inflict your good deeds on. You've done quite enough for me as it is." He stumbled, gasped in pain and tried in vain to break free when Virginia reached out to steady him. "I mean it! I don't want anything more to do with you! Just leave me the hell alone!" He flailed at her, pathetically weak.

.oOo.

Glancing over at Gallows, Virginia mouthed the word 'sleep' at her companion. It took the big Baskar a mere moment before he nodded, lifting his hand and casting a sleep spell. Virginia wasn't certain it would work, but she thought that – as badly injured and exhausted as Janus was right then – it had a reasonable chance at success. She wasn't disappointed. With barely a sigh, Janus collapsed and Virginia barely caught him before he fell backwards and did more damage to himself.

"Now what do we do?" Jet asked. "We can't take him back to Ballack's Rise. Not looking like that."

Virginia shook her head. "We're going to have to. Those quills have to come out. I don't think we can do that here. Not when we could get attacked any minute by the other critters in this place. They may have been lying low because of him and all his wailing but now they're going to be on the prowl."

Clive looked consideringly at the unconscious figure. "While we could cover him up, I think it might be wiser to let the people in the town know that we are bringing him in. They're already accepting a lot, allowing us to stay when there's a price on our heads. We shouldn't push their tolerance by sneaking what they will see as a monster into their town."

Though she would have liked to disagree, Virginia could see Clive's logic. "All right. Let's go, then. Gallows, please make sure he doesn't wake up again. Jet, you and I will go ahead and do some talking. Clive? Do you think you can carry him?"

Pulling the limp form over his shoulder, Clive nodded. "He's not especially heavy. I'll be fine. Let's go."

.oOo.

Janus was dimly aware of being carried. The spell Gallows had used was powerful – apparently he'd gained some strength since the last time they'd met – but Janus' body wasn't entirely human and wasn't as susceptible to such magics as a human's would be.

The nice thing about being stunned, though, was that the pain in his rear wasn't quite so agonizing. Blanketed by Gallow's sleep spell he could let go of the pain, maybe even get a bit of rest in. Relaxing into the circumstances seemed to be the only option.

Not that it's much of an option. A part of him, he wasn't sure which part, hated the situation, hated being helpless and forced to submit to Virginia's decisions. He was torn, though, between wanting to gain her regard and the recognition that he couldn't possibly do so, that he wasn't the man he used to be. Not when he was such a mixed up confusion of memories and desires.

"So, why do you think our leader's so interested in him?" Gallow's voice seemed to come from a distance, though he knew the big Baskar with the white streaked hair was standing right beside him, renewing the sleep spell anytime he stirred more than a few inches. It was convenient, actually. If the pain got too bad he groaned, acted like he was going to wake and Gallows would send him back into the depths to wait for the next wave to carry him back up onto the beach.

"I admit to having suspicions," Clive murmured. "However, I think it should be up to our Leader to determine what she feels. We should not interfere, simply support her as needed."

All well and good, green-hair, Janus thought wryly. Given she ever figures out what she feels.

To Be Continued...