The Persistence of Memory
By
Deborah J. Brown

A Wild Arms III Alternate Universe story: Wild Arms III is copyrighted to RPG Dreamers and Sony.

Chapter 2: Aiding and Abetting the Enemy

"We found the person who attacked Mason." Virginia looked at the men and women of Ballack's Rise with a worried expression. "He's been badly injured by a quiller. We'd like to bring him in to get medical treatment."

"A quiller?" Mason's father, the middle-aged man who ran the ARMS shop frowned. "Hey, Judith, didn't you say Mason's jacket had a quill stuck in it?"

The old woman nodded. "Scolded that boy but good for getting anywhere near a nest. He said he didn't see one and didn't know how the quill got there. Musta been near the nest when that whatever it is attacked him."

Virginia frowned. "In his jacket?" She wondered if it were at all possible that Janus had been rescuing the kid from an unseen danger and decided that such an idea was ludicrous. It wasn't Janus' way to go off saving children from themselves. Janus was more likely to have laughed at the kid when he got quilled and told him it was his own fault for not having kept his eyes open. She shrugged the thought away. "The problem is, he really does look like a monster. He's in pretty bad shape, though and the four of us have beat him before. We can keep him from causing trouble, but we don't want to bring him into town if you don't want us to."

There was a long silence but, very slowly, the townspeople nodded. "You keep him under control, though. Anything he does here is your responsibility."

Virginia bowed in relief.

.oOo.

It took hours to remove the spines buried in Janus' rear. There were hundreds of the things, some thrust deep, others simply caught in the fabric of his pants. If Gallows hadn't been renewing the sleep spell he would have been screaming in pain as Clive and the town's doctor found and carefully slid each tiny spine free from Janus' flesh. Janus took advantage of Gallows' ability a bit more than might have been necessary, but he felt he could be forgiven. He'd been in agony for far too long not to value this respite.

Would have helped if this body wasn't such a mixed up mess, he thought bleakly, waiting for Gallows' next spell and whimpering a little as Virginia wiped sweat from his face. The spines wouldn't have injured a body covered entirely with the scales that armored his arms and legs, but most of his body, that part that had once been hidden by his clothing, was generally human. The color was green tinted, but the skin was softer and easily damaged. Thus many of the quills had pierced deep into the flesh.

At last Janus sensed Clive sit back. "I think that does it," he said quietly. "It helps that his wounds heal so quickly. I just hope they didn't heal over a broken off piece. That could get nasty for him later."

The thought sent a shudder through Janus, quickly settled as Gallows sent him deeper again. Admittedly, the tiny pieces wouldn't be fatal, might not even cause an infection in a body so transformed as his was, but he knew what it was like to get a tiny splinter stuck so deep that it couldn't be pulled out. The thought of even one remaining stuck in his posterior wasn't a pleasant one.

"What about the poison?" Virginia's voice asked, muted by the depths to which Gallows' spell had sunk Janus.

"I've tried giving him an antidote," the town's healer said quietly. "Though I am not at all sure it helped any. His body is so peculiar that I have no idea what's good for it and what's not."

Virginia's voice held a world of agreement. "That's for sure. I wonder how he eats with that weird grill-work over his mouth?"

Sugar-doll, you don't want to know, Janus thought as he drifted deeper. Not a true sleep, not when there was so much pain searing his system, but the closest thing to rest that he could possible get. At least the worst of the ordeal was over. The physical part at least.

"What do we do with him now?" Jet asked. "Can't exactly turn him in, considering our own situation." He sounded put out and Janus would have grinned wryly if he wasn't so deep. "Besides, as far as I know, he isn't a wanted man."

"I'm not really sure," Virginia admitted and Janus could feel her opinions of him flowing over his Self. She knew that she couldn't trust Janus Cascade, that if he could find a way to turn a situation to his advantage he would. "I suppose we'll have to wait until he's better. One of us should stay with him, just in case he tries something when he wakes up."

There was silence from the others and Virginia continued, plaintively, "What do you think I should do?"

"I don't know either," Jet admitted. "If we were going to shoot his brains out – such as they are – we should have done it back at the cave." He sighed. "So, who gets to watch him first?"

.oOo.

The worst part of Janus' ordeal came late at night, while Virginia was on duty. The poison in his system might not have killed him, but it sent him into a raving delirium. Most of what the man muttered seemed meaningless. Gasps of pain, mixed with incoherent words. "Bastards Stupid why? Everything everyone gone. Wiped away Changed... Keziah... ...damn you to hell, Bryant..." The last was a broken whisper, a sob of pain from a soul that might shatter any moment.

Putting a hand on Janus' forehead, Virginia realized that he was burning up with fever. Tossing and turning, the Drifter turned demon growled and cursed, thrashing wildly. At Virginia's touch, however, he opened his yellow eyes and blinked blearily at her. "Ginny." His voice was low, raw and hoarse. "Sweet, darling, Ginny. So beautiful. So very beautiful."

Wondering who Janus thought he was seeing, Virginia got up and soaked a cloth in water. "Shhh. Don't try to talk," she told him. "You need to rest."

On the demon face, the smile he tried to give her was strangely pathetic, a rictus grin that failed utterly to convey the pleasure he obviously wanted it to show. There was something horribly sad and pitiable about the expression that it hurt for Virginia to look at him. "So brave. So strong. Love you so much I can't stand to look at you." He turned his face away.

"Go to sleep, Mr. Cascade." Virginia wished she knew who he was talking to. Wished she understood the man at least somewhat better. There were so many things that had shaped him. The life of a Drifter had twisted him in ways that had left him utterly unable to care about anyone but himself. What was he like before? What made him into this conscienceless monster? She watched him close his eyes and continued wiping his forehead as he slowly drifted back into sleep.

.oOoOoOo.

"So, Janus Cascade. What am I supposed to do with you?" Virginia sat across from the man leaning against the wall, keeping her eyes resolutely on his face and obviously trying to ignore the fact that most his demonic body looked more like that of a human male – aside from the coloring – than the scaled monster. The slight pink tint to her cheeks, among other clues, made it clear to Janus that she wasn't exactly unmoved by the sight.

Of course, it probably doesn't help that all I'm wearing are these lousy oversized shorts. The things had had to be tied tightly around his waist to keep them from slipping down to reveal far more of him than Virginia apparently wanted to see. As if she hadn't already when they were healing me up.

Arms crossed over his chest, Janus shrugged. "I gotta idea. I go back to my cave sweet cave and you go on your merry way and never the twain shall meet again." He had low hopes of this working out. Virginia had a way of pushing things into the direction she thought they ought to go and leaving someone hiding out in a cave wasn't something she'd consider reasonable. Especially someone she didn't trust as far as she could throw.

Virginia shook her head angrily. "No. I leave you on your own and the next thing I know you'll be trying to take over the world again. Or getting into some sort of mischief." She glared into Janus' eyes as he watched her with a sarcastic air. He could feel her conviction that he always managed to get under her skin and find every button that she had to push. Wish I could play you like a flute, sweetheart. Then I could get things fixed and make it all better. If only. "You've caused me more than enough trouble."

"So? Why did you go and drag me here?" He spread his hands, face thrust towards her angrily. He hated the situation. Hated the way she looked at him. Hated what she did to him whenever he was near her. Hated it and wanted it at the same time. I need her but I can't have what I need. Not when the price is so high. "You think I'm going to be that much trouble you should have shot me in the head back at the cave." Virginia's brows drew together in a frown and he realized he might have made an error, using the same phrase Jet had used the night before.

"That is not how we operate, Mr. Cascade," Clive said quietly from his position near the window. He, like Gallows and Jet, were keeping their hands on their ARMS and their eyes on the demonic Drifter. "We can't kill a person out of hand like that."

"I'm sure you don't understand that," Gallows continued. "But we have some principles."

"Oh yeah," Janus grumbled. "Principles. And are those principles goin' to help you decide what to do with me? I'm not the one with a price on his head right now. So you either kill me or you let me go." He grinned humorlessly at the group. Principles were what had made him what he was, after all. Principles and circumstances entirely out of his control. And that I hate more than anything else, the knowledge that – in the end – all I am is a puppet on a string. Again.

"Or he comes with us," Jet interjected quietly.

.oOo.

Virginia watched the others do double-takes. She wasn't quite so startled at the idea. There wasn't much else they could do, after all. Leaving Janus wandering around free wasn't possible. There was no way they could turn him in when there was no one actually wanting him for any crime and – finally – killing him was simply not an option under the current circumstances. If anything, she felt relieved that it was Jet who'd proposed it, rather than herself.

"Kid, have you got a screw loose or something?" Janus stared at the boy in frank amazement. "Me? Go with you lot?"

Jet nodded. "Way I see it, Virginia needs someone new to reform, now that she's got me all nice and goody two-shoes. You'd make a perfect fix-me-upper."

Now it was Virginia who did the double-take. "Jet!" she protested, but saw the twinkle in his eyes that said that he was joking. At least I hope he's joking. He grinned and shrugged at her.

Gold eyes closed momentarily with a look of utter pain and disgust. Well, as much pain and disgust as a face that doesn't convey much in the way of emotion can show. Then, with obvious effort, Janus seemed to regain control over himself. "All right. Three things. One – Do you honestly think you can drag me around with you if I don't want to go? Two – What makes you think I want to to be reformed? Three – In case you hadn't noticed, I sorta stand out in a crowd. Considering you four already have a price on your heads, why drag someone along who looks like this?" Janus spread his arms out in a wild gesture at his face and body. "Well?"

Puzzled, Virginia couldn't help but ask, "Well, why don't you go back to the old you? You were able to do that before." She'd figured he'd gotten caught by the quiller halfway through the change and the pain had made it impossible for him to shift either way. "You may not have been very good looking, but it was a long sight better than what you look like now."

"Sweetheart, you don't even remember what I looked like then," Janus growled.

That startled Virginia, especially when she realized just how true it was. She had a vague impression of a sharply pointed pale face, of pale blue tinted hair, but nothing much beyond that. Well, aside from his eyes and those haven't changed. Those golden irises still gazed at her with a peculiar mix of sardonic disdain and ironic humor – and some other emotion that she never had identified. Not wanting to admit how well he'd scored, Virginia shrugged. "Maybe so, but that still doesn't explain why you don't make an effort to look human again. Afraid someone will recognize you?"

.oOo.

Janus sighed expressively. "No, Princess. I don't look human because I can't. What you see here is what you get. A bit stronger than humans. A bit faster. Got regeneration down pat. Nothing can kill me – at least as far as I can tell nothing can. Even that thing," he gestured at the Dark Spear, "isn't as powerful as it ought to be. You could probably take me on in a one on one and blow me away without too much trouble. Want to give it a try?" He half hoped she would. It would solve so much, if she took him out of the picture. Hope it and fear it at the same time. It's not much of a life. Pretty much the least a life can be and still be called a life. But it's mine, damnit. It's all I have left.

Closing her eyes for a long moment apparently did nothing to make Virginia feel less like smacking Janus upside his pointy haired skull and he grinned at her expression. "No. I do not." She sighed. "All right, so you're stuck like that. Then you can stay out of towns when we go in for supplies."

"Or even better, Princess. We can part ways right here and now and never meet again!" Janus stepped forward, ignoring the way the others straightened. Couldn't she understand? He didn't want to be near her. Didn't dare to be. Not after what she'd done to him.

"As for your other questions. I don't expect to reform you. I have absolutely no hope of reforming someone as incorrigibly troublesome as you are." He stared into her eyes, half-angry, half achingly sad and saw her wince, felt her pang of uncomprehended guilt. She had done this to him and while she didn't know it, her subconscious did and wasn't going to let her rest. Damn her and her 'Justice' anyway. She continued, "Not unless you were willing to change and I don't see that happening."

"I'm what you make of me, Princess. Just exactly what you make of me." Janus couldn't meet her eyes. It hurt too much. He turned away. "So, that still leaves the question of what makes you think I'd come?"

It was Jet who answered. "Because you aren't the sort to like living all by yourself in a cave. Face it, Cascade. You don't come with us you'll be all alone for the rest of your life – and weakness aside, how long do you think that's likely to be, considering you regenerate?"

.oOo.

Silence followed Jet's question and it seemed obvious to Virginia that Janus had no satisfactory answer. The demonic head was lowered and the fists were clenched tightly with some unknown emotion. Sensing a chance at coming out on top for once, she pressed the point. "C'mon, Janus. Are you trying to tell me that you like living like that? Hiding away from people? Forced to eat the Gods know what? I may not be able to remember your face very well but the Janus I remember wouldn't have wanted to slink off with his tail between his legs like this."

Janus shrugged. "Yeah? Maybe so, but that doesn't mean I'd want to hang around you either, Princess."

Exasperation filled Virginia and she shook her head. "You act like I'm to blame for your situation."

"Really? You think?" Janus mocked. "What makes you think you aren't?"

Gallows put a hand on his shoulder. "Look. Everything that happened back then was your choice. You chose to betray everyone you came in contact with. You chose to work with people like those prophets. You chose power over everything else."

Looking at the hand on his shoulder, then at Gallows, Janus raised what passed for a brow on his face. "Move it or lose it," he growled and as Gallows, after a moment's hesitation, did so, continued, "As for all that, yeah. I'll take the blame if that's what you want. I know what I was exactly as well as you do. But that's not what I'm talking about."

"Then what?" Virginia's question was plaintive. She wanted to say that his anger at her didn't bother her, but it did. It was really beginning to hurt that he seemed to regard her with such rancor. "What exactly did I do that messed up your life?"

Once again those golden eyes met Virginia's. Once again she found herself unable to breath momentarily, shocked by the expression in them and unable to identify it. Once again she simply stared as he said, "Ginny, when you figure it out you can come and tell me."

It took Virginia a second or so to catch her breath. "What did you call me?"

The mocking look in Janus' eyes answered her question. A look that waited, confidently, for her response. So, that's all that was last night. An effort to manipulate me again. To make me think I could reach the soft part of him. All he wanted was to make me do things his way. I bet he wants us to take him with us after all. He used that nickname to make me think he loves me so that I'll force him to come along. She didn't know why it hurt so much but it made her all the angrier. Before he could say anything more, she flung her hands up. "Fine. If that's what you want, then go. Go back and snuggle into your little cave and never ever come out to face the light of day. I thought you had more pride than that, but obviously I was wrong."

Rather to her surprise, the satisfied look didn't change. "Good. Then I'll be on my way." Janus turned to pick up a blanket off the bed. "Guess my outfit was ruined? Yeah, figured. Don't really need it anyway. Not like I'm Going to be hanging out in polite society, after all." He wrapped the blanket around him, tossing one corner over his shoulder with an insouciant gesture. "Ta ta, kids. It's been nice knowin' you." With that, he walked towards the door.

"Hold it!" Virginia grabbed Janus by the elbow, feeling the demarcation between the scaled flesh and the human thru the fabric of her gloves.

"What is it now?" Janus demanded, heaving a huge sigh and glaring at the door, refusing to look at her. At Virginia's hesitation, he pulled his arm free and grabbed the handle. "Give it up, Princess. I am not coming with you."

"Then we'll follow you."

Four pairs of eyes blinked at Virginia but it was Janus who shouted, angrily in her face, "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE TRYING TO PROVE? YOU WANT TO SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE SITTING OUTSIDE MY LITTLE CAVE THEN BE MY FLIPPING GUEST!" He pulled the door off its hinges with the force of his anger, glared at it for a long moment, then set it aside with almost elaborate care and stalked out. From somewhere on the stairs they heard him growl, "Get out of my way, kid! And next time stay away from quiller nests!"

There was a long moment of silence, interrupted only momentarily by the town's Mayor, looking in to make sure everyone was all right. Seeing the group's expressions, and the door ripped off its hinges, however, he very carefully left them to their thoughts.

"Er Virginia?" Clive gave her a questioning look. "Did you mean that?"

"I think he's up to something. I don't trust him and I don't want him where I can't keep an eye on him. He's been doing everything he can to manipulate me into something. I don't know what but I want to find out." Virginia gave the others an apologetic look. "If you don't want to be involved, I'll understand. But someone has to keep that man out of trouble."

It was Jet who asked, "Any particular reason why it has to be you?" There was something pointed about the question, as if he were implying something. At Virginia's shrug, he sighed. "Well, it's not like we have anything pressing to do – aside from working on a way to convince the Ark of Destiny people we didn't kill Lamium."

Virginia nodded. "And that's something we still have to work out, so we can talk about it while we keep an eye on him." She looked at the others and was relieved when both Clive and Gallows agreed.

.oOoOoOo.

The fire crackled as Virginia poked it with a stick, pushing the logs into a better position. Across from her, Gallows was gnawing on a chicken bone, while Clive and Jet vied with each other over a makeshift chessboard. Clive had taught the younger man the game, having determined that Gallows was utterly hopeless and that Virginia – though well meaning – simply lacked the interest. Jet found it intriguing enough that while he wasn't yet able to beat Clive he was showing signs of future skill – much to Clive's satisfaction.

Cocking her head, Virginia glanced upwards. The shadows were thick and deep, but she was pretty sure that they had company. Somewhere up in the clefts of the rocks, something moved stealthily. Something that – she suspected – had green skin and scales, purple hair and the most incredible yellow eyes. It wasn't the first time that Janus had spent the evening watching them. If anything, she was almost sure that he'd been there every night for the last two weeks. Each night coming a little closer, as if daring her to notice, daring her to react. She'd very determinedly refused to do so.

"Y'know," Gallows said. "I still have no clue how we can convince the Ark of Destiny people that we didn't kill Lamium."

"The difficulty being that once people are convinced of something they're very hard to unconvince," Clive answered. "Er Jet, I don't think that you want that move."

"Awww, damn. Yeah, I forgot. King can't threaten King, can they? What is a King anyway? In fact, what are knights, queens, bishops castles? The only name I recognize is pawn."

That was probably because if anyone knew about being pawns it was the four of them. Virginia shrugged. "They've been the terms we've used forever," she said. "I think King must be some sort of ruler."

"Like 'President' Maya?" Gallows laughed.

Now Virginia was sure Janus was watching them. Ever so faintly, half-hidden by the night sounds, she was certain she heard a small snort. Apparently he found Maya's plans for the future as hilarious as Gallows did. Virginia wasn't so sure she liked what Maya wanted to do. The Drifter girl was trying to become the ruler of Filgaia, one town at a time. She'd started in Claiborne, but so far word was that she'd had little success convincing anyone that it was a good idea.

"Something like that," Clive agreed quietly. "Check and mate, Jet."

"Awww, damn. Lost again. Someday I'm going to get around that defense of yours." Jet sighed, leaning over to grab a piece of chicken from the plate. "Another game?"

Clive nodded. "It's almost time to sleep, but we can start one up if you'd like."

Virginia got to her feet. "I think I'd like to take a little walk. I won't go far."

"Yell if you run into trouble," Gallows answered and Virginia nodded. If there was anything she appreciated about her companions it was their confidence in her abilities. They would come to her aid if she called them, but they didn't fall all over themselves trying to keep the weak female out of trouble either.

Walking into the darkness, Virginia let her eyes settle enough to allow her to see where she was going. Carefully avoiding looking in the direction where she was certain Janus was hiding, she moved away from the campsite and sat down on some rocks. She had a lot to think about.

The problem was, all this sitting around was getting boring. Janus hadn't made a single move out of his cave, aside from his forays to watch them from the shadows. Considering how annoyed he is with us, I'm surprised he hasn't tried to sneak off. Irritated with herself for having returned to the subject of Janus rather than considering how to get the group off the Ark of Destiny people's wanted list, Virginia shook her head. It was as if the man was becoming an obsession for her, one that interested her far more than in making sure her team was taken care of.

So why is that? Virginia forced herself to look at her motives, even though doing so hurt. The truth of the matter is, I wanted very much to like him. I want to find some reason to like him again. But I'm afraid to. I know him too well by now. He's betrayed me too often. Well, to tell the truth, he only actively betrayed her the once, but Virginia couldn't help but feel that once was once too often.

Then there was the question of Janus' motives. There was no doubt in Virginia's mind that the Drifter-turned-demon could have slipped off any time. He seemed to know the hills better than any of them and she was beginning to suspect that there were hidden passages in the caves where he lived that no one but other monsters knew about. Possibly some that only someone in his condition could reach.

He was doing absolutely nothing. Waiting her out, no doubt, but what would he do if she left? And why, if he hated the sight of them, did he spend so much of his time watching them? Night time wasn't the only time she'd spotted movement where none should be, not the only time when she'd had the strong feeling of being watched. The way I feel now. He's watching me. Not the others. What is he up to?

"Janus?" Virginia kept her voice low, not wanting to draw the others' attention and fairly sure that the demon could hear her.

There was silence for a long moment. Then she thought she heard something moving in the rocks above her. A voice spoke, as quietly as her own. "What?"

"Why? Why do you hate me so?" Virginia wasn't sure why her tone sounded so plaintive but she really wished it didn't.

.oOo.

Janus watched the slender figure, his night vision showing her clearly. So damned beautiful. "I don't hate you." His tone was flat, emotionless, but only due to an immense effort at control. "I told you before. When you understand what it is you did to me, then we can talk about it. And I ain't telling. Your a smart girl, Ginny. Figure it out."

Apparently that struck Virginia as patently unfair and she said so, much to Janus' amusement. His short sharp laugh echoed in the darkness. "Yeah. It ain't fair, is it? But then, that's what you think I am, right? Something utterly unfair and not very nice. No matter how much you might want me to be different." If only wanting alone could make me what you need. If only wanting alone were what I need.

She shook her head, obviously not wanting to make such an admission, no matter how true. "Why? Why not just answer my question?"

"Do you trust me? Do you believe one word I say? Didn' think so. So if I outright tell you whatcha did to me – and it ain't the fact that you beat me at every turn – then you won't believe it. Y'all will think I'm tryin' to work things out t'my benefit." Virginia peered into the darkness at him, frowning at his words, at what little she could see of his monstrous distortion of demon and human flesh and he sighed, adding, "'Course, truth is, I am. I always do. You know that." Second guessing oneself had to be the worst part of his situation. Never knowing if what he was doing was because he wanted to, or because he was made to, dancing to the tune of the puppet master.

"I know it. I don't want you to be like that."

Janus laughed softly. "Tell me something I don't know." A faint motion, a shrug, was visible in the shadows. "Goin' hunting now, Princess. You should go back to the others. I'm not the only monster out here."

"If you're hungry."

"Can't eat cooked meat anymore. Don't worry, Princess. I'm a quick killer. I don't go in for the long slow tortures." A small chuckle escaped Janus' lips. "Messy, though, so don't follow me." It was a pain trying to eat, really. His mouth wasn't really made to bite things in a normal fashion, forcing him to subsist on what bits of flesh he could rend with his fingers and stuff between the exoskeleton grill that covered his mouth.

The sound of his moving away was soft, but he wasn't really trying to hide his steps. Just as he got about five yards away, Virginia called out, "Wait. Janus?"

"Hmmm, Princess?"

"We're going to be moving on tomorrow. There's no point in sticking around here and we have things to do." The decision had obviously come suddenly and Janus wasn't sure if he was glad or sorry. Sorry. Oh gods I can't live like this. How can I stand this? All alone.

"Oh." The word had a depth of meaning to it but he hoped Virginia couldn't figure out what. "As you wish, Princess. Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I'll go teach a few quillers a lesson." Then he was gone.

To Be Continued...