A/N: Sorry about the lateness of this chapter. I didn't mean for it to take so long and I apologize sincerely. I'm on Easter Break right now and the whole week before, every teacher I had thought it might be fun to give out tests on Thursday. So I had to a lot of work to that whole week. Apparently, they all thought we'd forget the material and so had the tests before break, just to piss us off.
On to fic related news, I judge about five, six more chapters are left to this fic unless I get ambitious. I had only planned for this to about seven chapters long when I was plotting this but I'm happy with the way it's coming out. So, ONWARD TO THE ANSWERING OF THE REVIEWS!Reponses to the Reviews:
Lain the Fluff Master:: It's been a while…but it's all good, I hope this chapter meets your approval. I loved your last chapter on LWS…finally, Raven has admitted her feelings! You better update soon!
CelticHeiressFiona: Thanks!
Mysti-eyed: You're welcome, and enjoy this chapter!
Chica De Los Ojos Café: Thank you so much! I just love reading your reviews! They make me feel like I'm actually good. I figured that I was concentrating on just Raven and Robin a little to much and I wanted to use this chapter to incorporate one of the other characters but next chapter will probably just be focused on Raven I think. It's going to explain almost everything, but of course I won't give away everything, or those plot twists would just disappear. Btw, the chapter actually had to be cut in half so it won't be overly long this time around.
Digital – One Piece:: Well, I appreciate your review and your honesty but I think that you're somewhat wrong. I have some twists in mind that should change your mind. So stay tuned in so I can prove you wrong about the "typical RobRae story, with the one-falls-for-one-and-they-chat-then-fight-along-each-other whole thing." And hopefully you'll approve.
Majestical: It's nice to hear from new reviewers; I'm glad you think it's good.
Jordanals: Thanks for the compliment and I'm sorry this isn't all that soon but I was grounded from the internet for a week not to mention all the studying I had to do. The good thing is, I wasn't grounded from my computer and the next chapter is already written so that means, review, review, review!
Miraculasacies: Thanks for the review and enjoy this chapter!
Cygnus de hielo: Long time, no review! Thanks a lot, and even though that week was hell and I was grounded from the internet, I got a lot of work done like this chapter, and the next one. I hope I got Arella's character right, because I don't read the comics and all I had to go one was the TitansTower.
Witch01: I appreciate the fact that you took the time to read and review, thanks.
Pixiegirl13: Yeah, I had just a tiny bit of trouble with that scene and I had to do some research on Raven's mother of course…but I liked the way it came out.
AriesFalcon: Thank you, and as always, it's nice to hear from new reviewers.
Brittney: Ooooo, scary sands of Egypt….here's your update!
Sporkwoman: Thanks for the compliment, and I hope you enjoy this chapter :-)!Hell's Fury: The Beginning
Chapter Six: Faded Illusions
By: Amber Myst
You won't cry for my absence, I know
You forgot me long ago.
Am I that unimportant?
Am I so insignificant?
Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?
-Evanescence
A soft beeping filled the dimly lit room, only disturbed by the shallow breathing of the girl on the bed. Robin's masked eyes never left Raven's motionless body, never ventured from her pale face. She turned in restlessly in her sleep, her lilac hair drifting over her face and he felt the sudden urge to push the errant strand of hair from obstructing her beautiful face. Submitting to his impulse, he reached forward slightly, and brushed the strand of hair to the side gently. He leaned backwards against the cold, metal frame of his chair once more. Robin flexed his fingers as another insatiable urge overcame him as he stared at her parted lips. He could remember that same mouth smiling at him, earlier. Rarely had anyone ever been blessed with her smile, and yet she had been laughing almost freely...with him. How had everything gone so wrong so quickly?
His lips tingled with the memory of the brief feeling of Raven's soft lips pressing against his own only hours before.
He sighed and shook his head. Here Raven was, lying in her bed and he could think of nothing else than jumping her bones. He slumped slightly in his chair as he felt despair began to suffocate him, its soft tendrils wrapping around him and squeezing. This was all his fault…if only he had been faster, or stronger maybe Raven wouldn't be in a coma.. He ran his hand through his dark, unruly hair as he thought. He had failed her….it was all his fault.
"Robin…"
A soft voice interrupted his musings and he jumped slightly, but did not turn and acknowledge that anyone had shattered his silence.
"Friend Robin?"
Robin sighed and answered the alien, barely audible. "Yes Starfire?"
"Do you not think it wise if one of us kept watch of Friend Raven now?" Starfire asked, her usually effortlessly joyous voice was still bubbly but with a false mirth that didn't quite reach her eyes, although she tried. Her sharp eyes had not missed Robin's action as she entered the room.
Robin shook his head. "No thanks Star."
Starfire's face fell but she was not deterred as she continued. "Then I shall I accompany you?"
"No, Starfire. I'd prefer to be alone if you don't mind."
Her face scrunched up slightly as she contemplating what to say next, the early stages of desperation and sadness sinking in. Robin had been in here for a while now, and she wanted him to come out. Her eyes traveled over to Raven's tore leotard and an idea sprang into her head. "Friend Robin, would it not be wise to change Raven from her torn garments?" Starfire continued quickly before Robin could answer her negatively. "You will have to leave while I tend to Friend Raven."
"Star." Robin started, his patience quickly slipping away. He could feel the headache he had worsening as the beautiful Tamarian violated the slight peace of mind he only when he was around Raven. "I am not leaving."
Star's sadness was swiftly evaporating, only to be replaced with anger. "Fine!" She retorted as she stormed over to Raven's bedside. "I shall change her whether you are there or not!"
Starfire reached out and a hand roughly gripped her wrist and yanked her away. "Robin…" She whimpered slightly as her voice wavered. "You are hurting me. Release me now!"
Robin's mask was narrowed and his face stoic. "You won't touch her Star, now please leave." His voice was cold and possessive, hard enough to cut through steel and despite the quietness of his voice, she knew he was no where near serene. It was probably more for Raven's sake than hers and that made her almost livid with rage. There was a tacit threat in his voice and mannerism that almost frightened Starfire. She reasoned with herself as she convinced herself that Robin was her friend. 'Some friend he is being!'
Starfire wrenched her wrist from his iron grip and her eyes began to glow green as anger and jealously began to swirled in their depths. She glared at him sharply. "You will not tell me what to do Robin!"
Robin rose with a fluid and dangerous movement as he maneuvered himself smoothly between Starfire and Raven. "I will, and I did. You will not touch her while I am standing here!" As this whole ordeal escalated wildly out of hand, he wondered faintly to himself why he was acting in such a way.
Starfire was startled at that statement. What did it mean? "Do you mean to fight me Robin?" Starfire sneered.
"Why is it that Raven has occupied all of your thoughts and time? Do you care for her that much that you would ignore the rest of us?" She hissed accusatorily, her face darkening as it twisted. He was hers! Robin belonged to her, not Raven! "Why won't you open up to us…to me?"
Robin didn't even blink at the questions and his silence answered her question. "You wouldn't understand Star so I suggest you just leave."
"I wouldn't understand!" Starfire almost roared, her blood pounding in her ears. "What is it I wouldn't understand? One can not comprehend a single thing if it is not explained to them!"
Suddenly Robin was in front of Starfire as he pushed her back against the wall, glaring deeply into her still glowing eyes. Robin's breath was hot on her face and she shivered involuntarily as her own breath was caught in her throat. Her heart kicked against her ribcage as she waited for what seemed forever. Although she was tall than Robin, in that moment he seemed to tower menacingly over her.
"Keep your voice down." Robin demanded quietly. "You weren't the one with Raven when Slade attacked. You didn't see her fall from that building and wonder if you would catch her in time. You didn't she the way she looked. I'm the leader, she looked up to me, and I failed her.
"You weren't there…the night Raven screamed and we all went running. You wouldn't understand the way my heart was pounding or the feeling of dread that coursed through me. You didn't see her face, you didn't hear her, you didn't see her body trembling…" His voice broke slightly as he closed his eyes as he remembered the horrible occurrence. He took several deep breaths to compose himself as he continued. "You didn't see the tears. Raven doesn't cry, at least, not from what I know of her. It was scary to see her like that. Unbelievably scary. Raven's always strong…to see her that way…I don't know. It just seemed surreal, and made the fact that Raven was a person like that rest of us seem so much more real.
"Raven's always so secluded from the rest of us and I never pushed her to do things with us, leaving her to her own devices. We all took for granted the fact that Raven would always be there for us, that she would always be the one who would help us with our problems, that she would always be the strong one. When we wanted to do something with Raven and she refused, it was okay, because there would always be tomorrow. But there might not be a tomorrow, not anymore. I guess I'm just afraid that if I leave her, I'll come back and she won't be there. You have no idea how much that frightens me, Star. You have no idea how much I-we need her."
Tears were slipping steadily from her face as she turned it aside from his. Her knees were trembling as she took in everything. She had lost him now…at one point she may have had him, but now he belonged to Raven and it hurt more than she could have ever thought possible. It felt as if her heart had been torn out of her chest and stomped on by the one person she never thought would do it. She loved him so much it hurt…it hurt so very much. Her heartbeat felt constricted and it became harder to breathe.
Her sorrow was quickly dying, adding fuel to her all encompassing fury and jealousy as she pushed the Boy Wonder away from her roughly. He stumbled backwards but caught himself before he tumbled onto Raven's bed.
"Raven will never be able to love you!" She hissed at him, her eyes narrowing as she let her emotions take over completely, ignoring the little voice that was screaming at her to cease and desist in the back of her head. It bade her to stop before she said something she couldn't take back. But she ignored it as she continued. She hoped every barb she shot his way wounded him at least half as much as she was hurting. "Her father is a demon! She is incapable of feeling anything. She will not love you, and I hope you have realized that. She is dark and evil, and a snorgnalck-"
"SHUT UP!" Robin roared at Starfire, the barely restrained anger in his voice scaring her almost as much as the glare he was sending her way, through the curtain of hair obstructing his eyes. His whole body was shaking and his fists were clenched tightly, his fingernails biting into the palm of his hand, a few drops of crimson fluid dripping from his fists. His eyes were narrowed and his breathing was erratic, his voice hoarse when he spoke the words: "You're a stupid bitch if you believe any of that shit you just said! Now, get out before I do something both of us will regret."
Starfire backed away from his slowly as if were a volatile, dangerous animal that was about to rip her throat out, something she believed he was very capable of at the moment. Her back was to the door as she watched him carefully with wide, teary eyes. What had she done? She whirled around and tore from the room, a sob escaping her.
Robin turned around, not even bothering to wipe the tears from his eyes as he looked down on Raven's lifeless figure. The things Starfire said weren't true…they couldn't have been. He collapsed back into his chair and buried his face in his arms on the unused portion of Raven's bed.
They couldn't have been.
Rhythmic beeps and blips filtered into her consciousness as Raven was slowly roused from a deep and thankfully dreamless sleep. Eyes closed, she simply concentrated on the somewhat comforting sound, anticipating the next beep in her head in a bid to control her arising thoughts of disarray. Breathing in, sterile chemicals invaded her senses, tickling her nose and throat. The electronic noises now hastily forgotten, her eyes fluttered open as it took several moments for her to focus on the dark, unfamiliar surroundings. She could feel her head pulsing slightly with a dull pain but ignored it.
Her heart quickening, Raven became aware of a shape curled up in the shadows beside her bed. Had it not changed position, she wouldn't have noticed it at all. The figure stirred again, shifting uncomfortably in the metal chair before turning and resting his head and arm on an unused portion of her bed. Even in the dim light, she immediately knew who it was: she could pick Robin out blindfolded.
She looked down at herself and noticed that she hadn't been changed; her battered body was still clad in the torn, although clean leotard from last night. Suddenly the events from what she assumed was the night before flashed through her head, rising from the depths of her conscious unbidden. Slade, her mother, her friends, barely getting home…and she briefly remembered coming to once and seeing Robin's worried face glancing down anxiously into her own before surrendering to the blessed dark of unconsciousness.
Seeing Robin's brought all sorts of emotions bubbling to the surface. She sighed, remember what her mother said last night, Robin will die if you don't. After that she could no longer deny the fact that she cared deeply for Robin, maybe even loved him, but having few experiences with love she couldn't tell for sure. Besides, her mom did say that she shouldn't ignore her emotions, especially if she wanted to ever be able to function harmoniously with them.
As her thoughts spiraled forth without her consent, her emotions became harder to control causing the lamp on the night table next to her hospital bed to implode with a resounding crash. She looked over anxiously at Robin, to see if her outburst had awoken him, but he continued to sleep uneasily. She sighed again, and next the heart monitor exploded, and she reacted quickly and covered Robin with a shield, protecting him from any errant pieces of metal. The shield also doubled as a way to keep the sound of the explosions from awakening him. This was getting way out of hand…
She examined him closely and her usually emotionless eyes softened considerably; she could tell that he had been with her the entire time. His clothing were still singed, burned completely away in some areas and his hair was extremely unkempt. She snorted softly, not like his hair was ever neat exactly, but it could have been considered stylish or something like that.
She sighed again, out of habit and looked around anxiously to see if anything exploded…nothing did. Without warning, the dull pulsing in her head began to throb with intense pain and she stifled a cry as she gritted her teeth. There was something extremely wrong with her mind. That seemed to be the understatement of the year as she cried out in pain again, bringing her knees up to her chest and rubbing her forehead furiously against them in a bid to stop the pain. She was dimly aware of a soft moaning next to her but she didn't have time to worry about Robin's nightmares. She concentrated and started to chant her mantra and soon the pain dissipated slightly, although it still felt as if a furious bull was rampaging through her mind, ripping it apart.
Something was in her mind that shouldn't be there and it was waging war with another part of her, causing a big enough disturbance that her emotions simply couldn't deal with it, not to mention herself.
She would have to go into her mind like her mother suggested after all. Raven sighed. She had been avoiding using the mirror for a reason. She was afraid of what she might find, or what state her mind might be in. Which in the end should have strengthened her resolve in the first place.
She got up to leave when she heard Robin whimper in his sleep and cry out her name, his face contorted. Raven frowned slightly before stripping her bed of the blanket and wrapping it around him. She smoothed back his disheveled hair before placing a soft kiss on his forehead. Robin smiled in his sleep and snuggled deeper into the warmth of the blanket she provided. 'He's so adorable.'
That perked up Raven's thoughts considerably as she began to melt into the shadows. But before she was completely gone, she remembered the last time she hadn't informed anyone of her intents and the panic it caused. She didn't want to worry Robin if she could help it. She gathered a piece of paper and a pencil before quickly jotting down:
I shall be back soon, don't worry ok?
Raven.
She frowned as she scrutinized her plain handiwork…true she was no Shakespearealthough she did love his workbut it got the message across. She looked out the window and saw that the sky was a dark blue. It was day, but the dark clouds still cloaked the sky, although no rain was falling at the moment.
This time she melted into the shadows completely before materializing in her dark room. She stumbled and gasped slightly at the strain it took to simply teleport to her room. Something was definitely wrong. She stood still and calmed her breathing as she passed her eyes over her dark room. She had managed to fix it up somewhat, although she had yet to fix her lights and so didn't bother to flip the switch. She really didn't have much energy to put into restoring it back into its once dark and gloomy glory but she'd get around to it sooner or later…probably much, much later.
She picked up her ornate mirror, a gift from Azarath, and concentrated before ending up in a nearly unrecognizable place.
Spread your wings and fly…Butterfly