The Persistence of Memory
By
Deborah J. Brown

A Wild Arms III Alternate Universe story: Wild Arms III is copyrighted to RPG Dreamers and Sony.

Chapter 4: The Tree of Life

"Y'know," Gallows muttered as they slipped past another group of monsters, "I really wish Lombardia could land in here. Maybe we should clear a landing pad for her before we leave?"

Virginia shook her head at her companion. Admittedly, getting to Yggdrasil had to be one of the more difficult journeys possible on Filgaia. The only way in was through Nidhogg pass, a long tunnel system that ultimately led to the center of the crater that contained the one still vital region of Filgaia and, at its center, Yggdrasil tower. The trip took most of the day to make and frequent battles. It might have gone faster with Maya's team, but the Schrodinger girl had felt that she had done about all she could in the matter, since the rest of Janus' cure was going to depend on what she referred to as 'boring old research'.

"Lombardia?" Janus frowned as he climbed a tree to make sure they were still going in the right direction. His claws made the procedure easy and it simplified their travel greatly.

"The dragon. Oh, of course. You weren't around when we met her. The last living metal dragon. She returned to her nest after our battle with Beatrice." Clive had been spending their travels updating Janus on what they'd been doing, but he'd only reached the point where they'd lost Maya. "One of the last weapons of the old days. She was a great assistance. Unfortunately, she would not have been able to land in a place like this."

"Must have been fun getting out of here," Jet commented as Janus landed. "It's no picnic with the five of us. Going through that place on your own can't have been easy."

Janus shrugged. "I didn't bother with the pass. Climbed up the side of the cliff 'n back down the other side. Actually, I sort of thought about staying but paradise is damned boring all by yourself." He indicated his clawed hands and feet. "Guess I shouldn't complain too much about these, should I, Ginny? Woulda been a lot harder to get outta here otherwise."

Virginia winced. "I said I was sorry." She recognized a mild reproof on Janus' part in his reminder that he was stuck in that shape until she could remember what he'd looked like before. "You know, they remember your face better than I do. Why don't you use their memories to rebuild yourself?" She pointed at her companions, rather regretting that none of them were artist enough to draw a recognizable picture.

.oOo.

Glancing Virginia's way, Janus managed a small wry grin. "Because, in the end, you're the one in control. I can keep you from changing me now, but you, m'love, are the only one who can change me." He paused, wondering himself why it was that was so.

Apparently Virginia shared his curiosity, for she demanded, "I don't see why. Maya said."

"Maya's ability may be similar to mine but it isn't the same thing. Whatever it is that makes me so malleable to your thoughts seems tied only to you." Janus shrugged. "Look, Ginny, I'm not beefing about the claws or the face or anything. I know I or the I that was earned them. Though I wish you could have imagined something more useful in the way of a mouth, I don't want you to get all upset because you stuck me with them." It bothered him to feel her guilt over what had happened and he really wished she wouldn't do it.

"Still"

"I said not to get your knickers in a twist, sweetness. It's not like you're not trying to do something about it." Janus took a deep breath. They spent so much time arguing and while some of those arguments he enjoyed, this wasn't one of them. "Come on, Ginny. Let's drop the topic before we start yelling at each other and attracting unwelcome attention." He gestured as they stepped out into a narrow clearing at the base of at tall building. "Besides, we're here."

.oOo.

Virginia gazed up at the tower and sighed. She wished she and Janus could find some way to get along. Yet at the same time I find myself almost enjoying the fighting. From Jet's innocent expression, and Gallows' efforts to avoid her or Janus' eyes, she rather suspected they were well aware of the dichotomy of her feelings about the man that she'd injured so terribly. Even Clive had an irritatingly knowing expression.

One thing I have to remember is he hates it when I feel sorry for him. I have to learn to keep my feelings to myself, no matter how hard it is. Virginia stepped forward and led the way into the tower. "Where should we start?"

"The top seems the most likely place," Clive murmured. "It's where their main computers were."

"Then let's go. It's a long climb. Hope nothing reset the traps." Virginia started up the steps and was startled when Janus moved to lead the way. "What is it?"

"Something doesn't feel right. Different from what it was like when I woke up earlier." His pointed ears twitched as he sniffed at the air, looking for all the world like a dog on the scent. "I think someone's been here."

Nodding, Virginia continued moving. "Everyone, keep your eyes open." She watched Janus sniff the air, his heightened senses had come in handy during their travels, allowing them to evade more fights. At his puzzled expression, she raised a brow. "More problems?"

"It's different but I don't smell anything – aside from the guardian monsters, that is." He dodged sideways, gesturing at the others and they followed suit, barely avoiding the passage of several such monsters – the clay men that had apparently been built for the express purpose of protecting the tower. "Just plain feels weird. I may be paranoid, Princess, but I don't like it."

Virginia had to agree with that much. Still, "Let's get moving."

.oOo.

The climb was amazingly uneventful. Even passing through the chamber where Virginia and the others had last met him didn't really bother him – much. It was just the place where he'd died and been reborn, after all, and the here and now had to matter more than the past. Janus had just decided that whatever weirdness was going on in this place was simply his overactive imagination when they stepped into the great chamber at the very top of the tower and a stabbing agony hit him in the chest.

"JANUS!"

Falling to his knees, gasping for air, Janus stared blankly into the past.

Answers demanded. Pain inflicted, agony like nothing else. Agony only too well known. Torture inflicted to force the truth from unwilling lips. Never. Never. Never. To answer is to give in. To explain is to let them win. Never... ...no more...

Torture set aside at last in favor of another battle. Her. She is here and must be stopped. One must fall now, though it gives him a peculiar pain to realize it. Still, if she wins, she can defeat the others. If she loses, he can be sure of his own success. By now he isn't sure which he would prefer. The savor of life has been lost along with the awareness of mortality. Damaged over and over again and never truly able to die. He'd feared death, once. Now he almost longed for it. ...ginny

Pain and a kind of triumph. Battle lost, but while there was life, no battle is ever over. If only he could believe that. "I created a shell and escaped." "Sacrifice? What are you talking about?"

Facing nothingness. Something not yet real but beginning to gain strength. Something being reborn. "I'll take you apart." "You want me to kill you with my bare hands. Okay"

Pain. Unlimited agony as his self is stolen from him. Everything he is. Everything he had managed to win for himself. Sucking away. Tiny bits of himself being torn away in the process, too small to matter to his enemy. Tiny bits of his Self, carrying his last moments.

"There is no afterlife. That's why I wanted to rule this world."

Death that was not death. One last little memory of something tall and blue forming out of his own substance, overwhelming his Self. Then Nothing.

"Janus! Janus, snap out of it! Wake up!" A hand slapped him across the face and he heard Virginia's voice as she gasped in pain. "Damn. His skin's too hard to get through."

"I can hit him with my gunstock," Gallows offered.

Slowly he opened his eyes. "Nonot necessary. Give me a moment." He felt stronger, just a teeny bit, but the change was measurable. Of course. Now I understand. He fought down rage. Fought back the fury that those moments regained instilled in him. They were over, long since over. No longer meaningful except as tiny bits of data defining who he was. "There there were some parts of me in here. Bits left over from my fight with Siegfried."

He could remember the fight only too well now. Could remember the feel of the Dark Spear driving its way through his back, called to its true master and not caring that it must pass through living 'flesh' in the process. No. Well aware of it. Requiring it. Stealing everything from me. He thought for a moment that he was going to choke and fall over again, but somehow managed to remember that – for all that he had been killed – he was alive now.

Virginia, Gallows and Jet were staring at him with identically confused expressions, but Clive suddenly nodded in understanding. "Some of the nano-machines got lost in your fight. They contain memories of what happened here, right?"

Getting to his feet and brushing off imaginary dirt from his pants, Janus marked the air in front of him with a clawed finger. "Point is yours," he answered, then stumbled and let Virginia catch him long enough to get him to a nearby piece of fallen masonry. He really didn't need her help, but he was perfectly willing to take it. You're such a rotten mooch, Cascade, he thought, amused at himself. "Looks like we were right about one thing. It was Siegfried who blew me away. Or rather, he took over. Sucked the life right out of me with the Dark Spear. Hurt like hell, too."

Light dawning in her eyes, Virginia put a hand on his shoulder and he cocked his head at her. Damn, but I like it when she does that. At his expression, though, a blush reddened her cheeks and she stepped back with a dignified air that amused him almost as much as his own reaction. "I'd tell you my last thoughts were of you," he said, "But you wouldn't believe me and I'm not sure they were. Things are a bit confused between that moment and when I woke up downstairs."

"I still don't get it," Gallows grumbled.

"Remember, Mr. Cascade's body is a nano-machine colony that mimics organic life." Clive's voice took on a lecturing tone. "Those machines – like the ones that make us capable of tuning in with our ARMs – behaved in much the same way as human flesh would have during his fight with Siegfried. In other words, he probably bled all over the place. That means that this room contained small quantities of Mr. Cascade's 'blood' scattered all over."

"And that so-called blood would carry his memories of what happened here. So when he came in the surviving nano-machines rejoined his body. I see." Jet settled on another piece of masonry. "Then maybe any place where Janus has been injured might have a few of his nano-machines scattered around. That might be useful to know."

.oOo.

Virginia looked at Janus worriedly. He was trying to look fairly calm but he'd just experienced the memories of his own dying and though he was hiding it well, she thought he was shaken. He glanced her way and shrugged. "Yeah, a bit," he agreed, without her having to say anything. "But I'll be all right. Honest."

"What did you mean about Siegfried taking over?" Virginia decided to change the subject.

Golden eyes gazed consideringly at nothingness. "I was the sacrifice," he said flatly. It occurred to Virginia that this had to be terribly difficult for him to explain, especially as she began to get an inkling of what he meant by being the sacrifice. With a great deal of effort she forced herself not to respond to her realization, not to think of him as embarrassed or humiliated at the way in which he'd apparently been used.

Gallows, not having to worry about somehow influencing Janus, was less discreet. "You mean they stretched you out on an altar and cut your heart out? That's"

"Not what I mean." Janus shook his head. "Kid, you have an overactive imagination. It's simpler than that. I'm betting that Siegfried existed in the Library in the same way everyone apparently does – but he couldn't do anythin' 'til he had a body ta utilize. A body properly prepared for him. The bastards set me up."

Making a sound of comprehension, Jet spoke up. "You were perfect for the purpose. A nano-machine colony they could alter enough to make compatible with him. In essence a home-grown metal demon. You even went to the trouble of gathering bunches of energy from the Guardians." As Gallows frowned darkly at the memory, Jet added, "You thought you were doing it for you, but in the end all you were doing was making Siegfried that much more powerful."

"And when he was summoned into this world, all he had to do was over-write your Self with his." Clive nodded in understanding. "That doesn't bode well for getting your full personality back, though, since Siegfried died."

It occurred to Virginia to wonder if it was possible for Siegfried to die. She hadn't thought about him in the process of bringing back Filgaia, but the fact that his physical form was – apparently – composed entirely of Janus' nano-machines might mean that when she and the others had 'downloaded' the world from the Hyades library the remnants of those machines still existed. At the bottom of the sand dunes, she reminded herself. Destroyed when we fought him that last time.. It was best not to give Janus too much hope.

"We'll do what we can, though," Virginia said firmly after a moment. "Clive? Let's start with these computers."

.oOoOoOo.

Janus was bored. Though he sort of understood the procedures Clive was using to research the data in Yggdrasil's computers, his comprehension was limited to what the archeologist had taught him. He was beginning to get a certain sympathy for Gallows, who was even less scientifically inclined than he was. Both men were restlessly sitting at their computer terminals, noting down filenames and struggling against yawns. Well, Gallows was, at least. Strictly speaking, Janus didn't really sleep. Not in the way humans did. He stroked a claw against the metal of the console and elicited a small screech from the metal.

"Oh for heaven's sake, you two. Why don't you go take a nap?" Virginia was bent over her own terminal, expression intent as she scanned the file and tried to work out what it all meant. It occurred to Janus that she wasn't doing a lot better than he was, though she wouldn't admit it. Really the only one enjoying this search was Clive and maybe Jet.

Gallows coughed. "Er y'know, I hate not to be helpful, but I think I will." He got to his feet, stretching his arms wide. Janus, watching him, reflected that if the Baskar's personality had ended up in a body more like Jet's, it would probably be easier to understand the childish behavior. One didn't expect someone as tall and bulky as Gallows to act like an overactive teenager. Like you have a basis for comparison, Janus mocked himself. His comprehension of human behavior was pretty damned limited to what he'd been given through Virginia's thoughts and she was a little on the naïve side.

As Gallows wandered off to the room they were using as a sleep chamber – a former storage room near to the main lab – Janus got up too. "I don' sleep," he said to the others, "But I don' think what I use for a brain is workin' too well right now, either. I'll do some wandering around. Maybe I'll find a few more cells hanging around somewhere. Or something we missed on the first go through."

Clive and Jet nodded absently as they studied their terminals. Virginia looked up, however and Janus could feel her concern. "You be careful. We still don't know if what you thought you sensed on the way in was real or not."

Janus chuckled wryly, "Yeah, and we've already proved my smarts in keeping out of trouble aren't exactly operating at full speed." He recollected the ease with which Maya's traps had caught him back at the Schrodinger's home. Virginia's memories of him had given him the intelligence to work things out pretty quickly, but not the experience that had once been his, meaning he was having to relearn tricks that his original Self probably knew. He shrugged. "Won't touch anything, Princess. Promise. Scout's honor."

"You don't have to promise, Janus. Just don't get in trouble."

.oOoOoOo.

It was getting close to dinner time when Virginia realized that she hadn't seen Janus for over an hour. Telling the others where she was going, she left the room and started down the hallway. Her steps echoed through the empty halls and she squinted in the green tinted light, wondering how her father and the others had stood it. Setting that thought aside, however, she looked around, wondering where she should look first.

The trouble is, this place is a maze. We haven't lucked into a map or anything. At least this level seems monster free. Hopefully he didn't go wandering downstairs and get himself in real trouble. Admittedly, having seen Janus fight on the way through Nidhogg pass, Virginia was fairly sure that her unexpected responsibility was capable of holding his own against most of the creatures that lived in this place. Even with the Dark Spear unable to help him cast any of the spells he'd once used, he was a skilled fighter. At least my memories gave him that much. I think he'd hate it if he felt he was supposed to be capable of protecting himself and couldn't.

It was going to be a bit of a pain searching Janus out, though. She called his name, listening closely for any sounds, and only heard her own voice echoing back at her. We've never been down this hallway, she thought, moving cautiously along a darkened corridor. I'll try it first.

At last she found herself in another terminal room, similar to the larger one they'd been working in. Intriguingly, though, one wall was filled smaller monitors, all darkened. Virginia wasn't really sure why she did so, but she searched the console below the monitors and found the switch, flipping it.

Above her, lights flickered and the screens blinked into life. She stared at them, some showed rooms she'd seen before. Clive and Jet busily getting supper together. Another of Gallows snoring, arms and legs sprawled as he slept. He's such a child, sometimes, she thought indulgently. Yet another showed her Janus, curled up on what looked like a bed with a book. Well, at least I know he's okay, if not where that is. He looks pretty happy, actually. Wonder where he found the book?

As Virginia scanned the monitor screens she spotted one that looked oddly familiar. Not a room she'd ever been in before, of that much she was certain, but at its center an object glowed that resembled something she knew she'd seen in her travels. After a moment's thought she realized, "Oh, of course. Mimir's Well. That looks like the access point to the Hyades Library."

It occurred to Virginia that such an access point would have been extremely useful to the Council of Seven and that they'd probably built the thing here to make travel to the Well unnecessary. The funny thing was that this point looked like it was still in some form of operation. She'd destroyed the access point at Mimir's Well to prevent the Dream Demon from using it as an entrance into reality. She had thought that her father had blocked this one too.

Well, for whatever reason, it looks operational. I should check on it. Virginia left the room and continued through the hallways, searching.

.oOo.

A muffled sound made Janus look up from his book. An adventure novel, one of a set that he'd found in the shelves in this small bedroom, it held a certain amount of amusement for him. Quite a bit, in fact. Engrossed by the story, he'd lost track of time. Damn. Shoulda brought it back with me, instead of hanging out here. Bet Ginny's looking for A strange panic came over him. Ginny. Ginny was in trouble.

He stuffed the book in the pocket of his pants and rushed out of the room, following his sense of Virginia's presence. Left, then right, then another right and he found himself skidding through a doorway and into a small room. At its center was a golden object that he'd have sworn was an impossible shape. Around the object was a console similar to all the others in this place and on the other side was a glowing orb. Inside that orb he could just make out a feminine figure. GINNY!

Before he could react, he found himself trapped in another orb. Sound deadened and he realized that the air was slowly being sucked out of the thing. Good thing I don't need to breathe Aww crap. I don't, but Ginny does. He focused his thoughts on his version of the Dark Spear. His memory of what Siegfried could do with it made him certain he could do the same with what was – in essence – a copy formed from his own substance. "Come on, baby. Come to papa."

He felt its approach. Felt it colliding against walls and shifting its direction as it came up against various blockades. Then, with a loud crash, it broke through the orb containing him and he caught it up. "Goood baby!" He rushed around to the orb containing Virginia. She was collapsed on the floor, unmoving, and he swung the weapon as hard as he could.

Then he was on his knees beside Virginia and shaking her, terror rising. "GINNY! GINNY! WAKE UP!"

.oOo.

Virginia moaned, feeling the air rushing into her lungs with blessed relief. Something was shaking her, big, powerful hands with claws that were digging uncomfortably into her shoulder blades. A harsh howling cry in her ear, screaming her name. "J Stop that." She forced her eyes open, saw his expression and was instantly sorry for her anger. His face might not be able to show his feelings but his eyes did and they held a fear so deep that she knew she'd frightened him terribly. Maybe as much or more than I frightened myself. What a stupid thing to do, to go poking around in here without someone as back up. I got over-confident, too sure that the security in this place was off. "Sorry. I did a stupid thing." She fought back a fit of coughing, sitting up slowly.

Sitting back, golden eyes calming, the half-demon sighed in relief. "Did the same thing. Rushed in here so fast it nearly got me too." He grabbed her up and dragged her to through the door. "Let's make sure it can't get us again." Leaning against the wall and obviously trying to cover up his earlier fear with an insouciant air, Janus grinned at Virginia. "What were you doing, Princess?"

Forcing herself to a sitting position took most of Virginia's energy and it wasn't until she was leaning on the wall across from Janus that she finally answered. "I found a monitor room that showed this room. It looked like an access point to the Hyades Library and I thought I'd check it out while I looked for you. Saw you reading, by the way. Where was that?" She glanced around the hallway, noting dents and huge scratches in the grey metal walls that hadn't been there before. What happened here?

Janus pulled a book out of his pocket. "Inkapilia's quarters," he said, grinning an oddly wry grin. Tossing the volume to Virginia, he added, "I think I found out where he got his inspiration. Or at least the name."

Virginia blinked at the cover. "The Adventures of Janus Cascade. Volume five." She raised her eyes to her companion. "You were a character in a book." An old one, too. At least 25 or so years if the date on the inside was right.

A small snigger escaped Janus' lips. "Yeah. Think you woulda liked him, though, so something musta really screwed me up between the time Inkapilia created me to when we met. He" A long claw pointed at the novel, "is always going on about justice and doing the right thing. Talk about your sanctimonious little prigs, really." With a self-conscious laugh, he added, "Sorry. Guess maybe it's what you would have preferred me to be."

Opening the book, Virginia read a few pages and winced. "Do I sound like this?" she asked plaintively. Based on the few paragraphs she'd just read, the Janus Cascade in the story seemed almost painfully smug and self-righteous.

Janus looked consideringly at her. "Well, you do a bit, but remember, this ain't exactly a complicated book. Good guys, bad guys, they're all pretty apparent." A claw tapped the cover, "This Janus lives in a black and white world. The world we live in ain't so obvious."

.oOo.

Looking at Virginia, Janus could feel her regret for the world's grey areas, that the right paths weren't easily found if you just looked and he smiled wryly. "Ginny, you remember what I said about you being naïve? About how I hated seeing in you what I used t'be?"

The girl nodded slowly, blue eyes on him with a solemn expression. "Well, I don't remember exactly how I used t'be, but if I was based offa this book, I probably felt pretty much the same as your feeling now. But the thing is, the world ain't black and white and wishing it were ain't enough to make it be. Or, even if it is, maybe it ain't a good idea to be trying."

Virginia's blue eyes turned away from his and she sighed softly. "I know that. After what I did to you, I know that only too well. But I want to make it as right as it possibly can be." She leafed through the book, stopping at an illustration and he grinned at her expression. "Now I know you never wore anything like this!" At his laughter, she grumbled, "I was hoping it would have something that would remind me of what you really looked like."

Remembering finding that image and deciding that if he really had worn that great big white hat and white and silver outfit he wasn't terribly anxious to go back to being human in shape. Though the face under the hat – what you can see of it – isn't that bad. I just can't believe I ever wore a white mask. He repeated the thought aloud and Virginia shook her head. "You didn't," she denied. "White pants, black shirt Your hair was blue then too, but not so spiky."

"And that red jacket?" Janus asked, getting to his feet. It had been too badly messed up by the quiller attack to bother with, but he remembered feeling its lack pretty badly in the days that had followed. Not so much for the warmth but because he'd felt like he'd lost something treasured.

Virginia moved to look into the room that had nearly killed her. "Yes, and that ring on a chain" she agreed, tapping the piece of jewelry hanging around his neck. "I got the feeling you liked to stay tidy. Your friends, Dario and Romero seemed like the usual toughs, but you stood out. To tell the truth, that was one of the reasons I thought there might be something more to you than just another ruffian."

Remembering how he'd left Dario and Romero to be cast to the winds in his attempt to take the Dark Spear for himself, Janus felt a sharp pang, even as Virginia continued, "I think, or at least I hope that I've learned not to look at just the outside of the person anymore." She winced a little as she spoke, continuing. "Let's never mind that for the moment. The face in the picture might be familiar, but I can't make out the features well enough. I'm sorry. I remember the eyes and the way you dressed but I really can't seem to see your face." There was a faint regret in her voice.

Janus shrugged. "Well, this version is pretty unforgettable." He gestured at his scales. "And at the moment, maybe, more useful than a human body would be. You want me to go in there? The trap can't hurt me and my buddy here," he patted the Dark Spear lovingly, "was able to break me out."

.oOo.

Virginia hesitated. "On one hand," she admitted, "I'm worried about letting even you go in there. You got out of one trap. You don't know that you can escape any others. On the other You're the only one who might be able to get in and out of there safely."

A soft laugh escaped the fanged mouth. "I value my partially demonic skin too much, Princess. Far too much to do something unsafe. Besides, I've got to start earning my keep around here. I can't do research, so I'll just do those nasty little dangerous jobs that need doing." He paused, frowning. "And why does saying that seem strangely familiar?"

There wasn't an answer Virginia could give and she shrugged as Janus continued. "Okay. You wait right here and I'll go in and see what I can see." He stepped through the door, dodged sideways as a bubble of energy tried to roll over him. His Dark Spear swinging, he crashed through the defenses until he was standing near to the console surrounding the core of the room.

"Warning, intruder. Please exit information room immediately. Security is authorized to utilize deadly force if you persist in attempting to access the Library." The voice that spoke through the speakers was strangely familiar, but Virginia couldn't identify it. She watched as Janus used the Dark Spear to shatter another bubble, then deflected a laser shot into a wall with the weapon's flat surface. "It is not my desire to injure you, intruder. You must leave."

"Who the hell are you? Where are you? Show yourself!" Janus stared around the room wildly, defending himself from the attacks with precise swings of his weapon and swift dodges where necessary.

An image was forming over the core. An image Virginia knew only too well. Knew and loved. Knew and missed so much sometimes – even now – that the sight of him left her breathless. "DADDY?"

For a moment there was shocked silence as Janus blocked another laser shot. There was a strange whirring sound and motion from somewhere in the ceiling. Virginia, looking upwards, spotted an blocky object that seemed to be aiming towards her. She dodged sideways, but nothing happened except that the voice spoke, "Virginia?" There was a world of puzzlement in the voice. "What are you doing here? Do you have any idea how dangerous it is to access the Library? Could you come out? I promise, the weapons are deactivated."

Virginia moved to a position near the edge of the door, prepared to dodge if it seemed necessary. "Daddy? What are you doing here?"

.oOo.

Janus chuckled as the image of Werner Maxwell shook his head. "I asked that first, now didn't I?" the voice said in a mildly scolding tone through the speakers that Janus had only just noticed attached to the walls of the room. That's right. She said his memories had become part of the Hyades Library. I guess he's able to communicate through the access point.

Virginia flushed, accepting the reprimand as a dutiful daughter would. "We came here looking for information."

"Honey, you know the Library mustn't be accessed," Maxwell scolded. "I warned you of that when you were restarting everything. This point has to be open, or Filgaia wouldn't exist at all, but." He gazed at his daughter sadly. "Whatever made you think it was a good idea to come here? Please don't tell me something horrible is trying to happen again."

"Depends on what you mean by horrible, Maxwell," Janus answered as Virginia slowly came forward. "I'd sort of like to be put back together with a bit more than what Ginny here remembers of me." He cocked his head at the holographic image and wondered how he knew what it was in the first place. For that matter, his face is familiar.

The whirring sound from earlier occurred again and Janus found himself thinking, Of course. He needs the camera to see me. Yet another word that ought to be meaningless to him and yet wasn't. He glanced upwards at the black blocky object and waved at it. "Janus Cascade, or what little is left of him, at your service, Pops." The bow that accompanied his speech was faintly mocking, as much due to his own discomfort with the situation as his natural insouciance.

There was a moment of silence as the cameras scanned Janus' face and body. A moment that left the half-demon feeling more than a little like a not quite satisfactory potential boyfriend that daddy's little girl had brought home. Heh. Not far off. Does he have access to a shotgun? Should I be hauling my demonic ass outta here?

"Janus Cascade. Inkapilia's project?" It rather surprised Janus that Maxwell's tone hadn't become especially tense or angry, just terribly puzzled. "Weren't you assisting Leehault and the others?"

To Janus' chagrin, Virginia hurried to excuse him. "We don't know why he was doing it, Daddy. And I messed him up badly when we restarted the world. I want to try and help him get back who he was."

"I think perhaps you should explain, Virginia," Maxwell said, turning to face his daughter.

.oOo.

It took half an hour to describe what had happened to Janus and what they'd discovered so far. When she finished, though, Virginia concluded with, "I know he may turn out to be" she faltered and Janus cheerfully continued her sentence, "a nasty piece of work better off left to rot in some dank cave."

An odd look crossed Maxwell's face and Virginia wondered what was going on in his head. At last he said, "You've gotten something more of an attitude than you had before the Crash, I see."

It was no surprise that Janus had to laugh. "You might know better than either of us, Doc." Janus eyed the man for a long moment and held up the book he'd found. "Please don't tell me I dressed like this."

Rather surprisingly, Maxwell laughed as well. "No. We were able to convince Pete that making a perfect copy of a man like the Janus Cascade in the book might not be a good idea. I'm afraid your creator was very fond of the series." His expression turned serious. "To be honest, I never had many dealings with you, aside from donating the nano-machines from my ARMs for your creation. I was busy investigating the library."

Janus raised a brow, but before he could say anything, Virginia interrupted, "Is there anything in the library that could help us fix his memories, though?"

The tall figure of Virginia's memories gazed at her soberly. In the gold tinged light from the library, his features were kind but showed little in the way of helpfulness. "Virginia, honey, the risk of copying information into him from the library is just far too high. Beatrice may have been defeated, but this is a place where demons dwell. I can block them, keep them from accessing reality, but not if you offer them a sacrificial lamb – and that's all he would be."

Virginia wanted to protest that that wasn't what she'd wanted at all, but the thoughtful expression on Janus' face confused and distracted her. He was so temperamental that she would have expected him to take such a description as a personal insult. Instead he nodded, arms folded across his chest. "That's what I was already, wasn't it? Not Inkapilia's idea, maybe, but someone must have figured me for a perfect patsy." He cocked his head at Virginia's father. "Right?"

Virginia felt sharp sorrow at the pain in Janus' voice and he shrugged at her. "I'm sure I walked right into whatever it was that happened, Ginny. It's not like I'm entirely blameless – at least I have this feeling I wasn't." He turned back to Maxwell. "But what little I remember of those times tells me I was feeling pretty well helpless and pushed around. I was grabbing at chances every time I could and not realizing that I was fully expected to do so." His horror of a mouth twisted slightly into a perverse version of a grin. "So Leehault and the other two probably restored me just so they'd have something nice and compatible with ol'Siegy – once I had the requisite amount of energy for big and clunky to use."

Another silence from Maxwell, then a slow nod. "You are, I think, correct. Then you understand why it is I cannot permit you access to the Library"

.oOo.

Janus rolled his eyes. "Man, oh man," he muttered, glaring at what was left of Virginia's father with an impatient feeling. "When did either of us say a word about downloading my personality – such as it was – from the library at all? Given, of course, that it ever existed there in the first place. No offence, Pops, but there's no way I'm risking getting another demon sticking its nasty little claws in what's left of my brain. I don't even know that you're really her dad"

Noting Virginia's discomfort, the former Drifter continued as calmly as he could. "To tell the truth, if it weren't for the fact that there's so many little bits and pieces bouncing around up in my head, the only thing I'd be concerned about would be figuring out how to look human again. I don't mind not remembering much." Except it isn't just what's in my head, but everyone else's. Knowing why people think I'd react a certain way would be nice. Especially knowing what it was that made me into what Virginia remembered.

Virginia put a hand out and touched Janus' arm and he gave her a wry smile, even as he wished she weren't quite so understanding or kind about it all. That was probably what bugged me most about her. I didn't want to admit I let myself get all messed up inside. He remembered the mixed feelings he'd had towards her, as mixed up in their way as the feelings she had about him and was suddenly very glad she couldn't read him the way he could her. And lordie how unfair she'd think that is.

"Looking human again may be the easiest of your difficulties." Maxwell's image was flickering out of sight and another was forming. "And your concerns regarding my nature are understandable. Thus I will only offer two things; First – I suggest that you and your friends examine Pete's laboratory in Little Twister. Second, Virginia, if you need to remember what Janus looked like before he became demonized, look here."

The image of Maxwell disappeared, replaced by the face and form of a slimly built man. Youngish, with blue-white hair slicked back from a face that Janus thought might be considered relatively attractive. No heartbreaker, but not something a girl would run from either, he thought. Keziah always liked he stopped, shaken by the brief flash of memory and forced himself to look closely at the Janus Cascade that had once been.

Beside him, he could feel Virginia beginning to remember what her mind had tried to forget. Could feel her image of him – physically, at least – provide the impetus to his body's change. With only a momentary qualm, he let that change take over, accepting it.

In a few short minutes the demon shape he wore was gone.

To Be Continued...