And That's Why We Should Leave These Things Alone Chapter 1: Why One Shouldn't Annoy Cosmic Entities, a lord of the rings fanfic

Ouch. This waking up in places other than my bed thing has got to stop. I open my eyes to see a floor that's distinctly not that of my bedroom. Raising my head a little farther I can see that the marble floor I'm lying on is part of balcony overlooking a gorgeous landscape. Closing my eyes again and sighing I think, 'The end of the waking up in alternate dimensions thing would be nice too.' Honestly, you piss off just one little cosmic entity and boom…

I'm guessing you'd like a little back story?

As little as a year ago I was your ordinary seventeen year old. Okay, so not perfectly ordinary. I have my little eccentrics (0). You don't really want to hear about how my life was okay but boring, etcetera and so on. Anyway ... I liked to take hiking trips with a couple of friends. One weekend we were trying out a trail we'd never done before, and… well it seems silly now. Don't laugh, but we fell into a classic magic portal, a la The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe. (1) No, like seriously. I still don't know what happened to Claire, Katyln, or Lyra, but I ended up in a place I've come to know as Enigma-verse. (2) And man was its ruler, Enigma herself, upset with me. Are you familiar with the Phoenix force? None of you? Shame, its very cool and hang on a sec I am too going somewhere with this. Guess I'm a little too much of an X-man fangirl. But it's a cosmic force that can be accessed by certain people. Enigma is like that. The current avatar is a real character, and if you were wondering she is exceptionally intolerant of trespassers. I wandered around a while there, (it's a place best described a Dali painting, pink deserts and bizarre structures and wildlife, all surreal and at the time very creepy) until she found me. Apparently I'd somehow messed up the portal system and it was going to take her a while to fix it, so she wasn't pleased. And now, I wake up in different dimensions sometimes, whenever she's feeling sadistic. Which is often.

Usually it's a place not too far different from my home-verse, I've gotten adept at finding portals and not being seen by locals. Or she'll 'take pity' on me by returning me home…usually to some undesirable time, like right after being asked a question in Biology class or before a dentist appointment. She's nice like that. Not. (Although if we didn't have this little history I'd actually probably like her, she's got a wicked sense of humor that I'd enjoy were I not on the receiving end.) It's an interesting way to live though. But we can recount my adventures during those incidents later.

So now I'm a little confused. This place looks nothing like Philly. I sit up to get a better view of my surroundings. This place is gorgeous. And frighteningly familiar. I'm wearing some sort of flowy gown thing that is most decidedly not mine. "M'Lady, are you alright?" That's not English…but I understand it. That in and of itself is scary as my only other language is a bit of high school Spanish which I suck at. This wasn't Spanish, it was too…pretty, melodic almost. I turn my head slowly, not sure what to expect. There were too women behind me wearing garments similar to my own, though considerably less rumpled. Their hair was pale blond and flowing; they regarded me warily from bright blue eyes. They were freaking elves. I think you'll be understanding if I tell you that my brain sort of froze up. Unable to draw a conclusion as to what the existence of elves and their apparent belief that I was some sort of 'Lady' meant, I got up and nodded. They exchanged a glance and walked off the balcony into the room it was attached to. I began to follow them when I noticed a mirror set by the door. I was about to pass it when I stopped and did a double take at the girl in the mirror. She did too, indicating even to my shell shocked senses that she was me. But…she was gorgeous, as I most assuredly am not. Long wavy black hair framed a beautiful face with dazzling green eyes, not the reflection that I'm used to seeing in mirrors obviously…. The pieces began to add up: Foreign language, nobility, gorgeous-ness. Imagine videotaping a jigsaw puzzle falling of a table. Now play the tape in reverse as the pieces fly back together. (3) That's what happened inside my head. This was Rivendell. These were elves. This was the LOTR-verse. I am a freakin' Mary Sue. "Enigma! What the hell have you done?"

In the distance, an ethereal voice is laughing maniacally. Damn her. This is going to be really awkward.

…and therein ends the beginning of the soon-to-be-epic story of… Gabriella, whose name did not work its way into the story, as it was told in first person and all. I might mess around with POV later, idk. Not hooked yet? Sorry. Please check out the next chappie which will explain ever so much more, and thank you for reading!

A/N: Enigma is entity I came up with for one of my other stories, 'X-men Redefined'. Don't worry though; I'll explain everything you need to know about her soon. And btw, she's in no way based on me, (what with my user name and all), I just like the word.

Response to Reviewer-y type people:

OGreatRandom: Thanks for letting me bounce ideas off you! And btw…We ALL Have Our Little Problems! Ha-ha mine's published I win.

(0) See the character profile to follow, hopefully, in coming chapters.

And (2) Anyone want to read these stories? 'cause I'll post them if you're interested and ask me nicely.

This lovely bit of imagery is from 'How I Spent My Last Night on Earth' by Todd Strasser. I sort of cough borrowed it cough. Great book, by the way.