It was going to be one of those days, Phoenyx could feel it. She was going to have to face Murdoc, and she had no idea what to say. She had tried to think of a plan, she had done everything short of writing a script to try to work out her explanation, but none came. The time was ticking ever nearer to breakfast, and she knew it could be the last breakfast she would ever eat. Her mind strayed now and again to MacGyver. What was going through his head right now? What was he thinking, and what would he do if she failed to explain her actions, if Murdoc killed her? Finally, with a resigned sigh, she slipped out of her room and took the long walk to her car.
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He was standing at my car, leaning against it, sunglasses perched on the bridge of his nose. My heart nearly exploded from fright seeing him there. When he saw me approaching, he straightened, and took off the glasses, slipping them into a pocket before reaching for my hand. I placed my hand in his, nervously, and I felt him squeeze it gently. He opened the door for me, watched me get in the car, then took the seat beside me. He said nothing until I had started the car and drove a few blocks.
"I'm sorry…" I barely heard him over the wind whipping by. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do anything to hurt you. But…" he dropped off, miserably.
"Penny Parker…" I said, simply. He looked up at me. "I understand why you did what you did. This has happened to you before." I was astounded at the words coming out of my mouth. I hadn't expected him to behave as he was, and I didn't expect to feel so terrible for him about it. I became suddenly aware that my hand had left the wheel and was touching his, gently.
"I just thought… I didn't want to lose you… I know you didn't think I really cared about you, but I do. More than you'll ever know. Do you know why I've hunted him for so long?"
"No." I said quietly. It occurred to me that I didn't really want to know.
"I saw him, and I knew. He was my polar opposite. But he had strength, and courage. Not many truly good people have that. He's like you. And at the time, I knew that he would be the greatest challenge for me to overcome, but I had to prove that I could. That I was, in fact, the strongest. Only now I'm not so sure. I've had to die a few times to realize that…" He chuckled, still the creepy, unsettling chuckle, but his eyes had changed. There was no harsh light of malice glinting there now… I turned to look out at the coast, and realized it was the same place MacGyver had taken me to, that first day in the car. I almost started to cry, but held back, mustering all my courage to face Murdoc again.
"I'm not just concerned about you for your sister's sake, you know. The first time I saw you, I loved you. I didn't even know I could feel like this. I tried to tell myself, when I found out about MacGyver, that I could use you to get to him, but I know now that I can't do that. Not to you."
I was having a hard time judging whether or not he was being truthful. If he was, he was exposing his greatest weakness. And if I had the courage to do so, I could exploit it. At the same time, if he was being truthful, I knew I could no longer do what I had to do, because he would be crushed. But if he were lying, that meant he knew about the trap we had laid, and he was using me even yet. Lulling me silently like a cobra does its prey, into a silence from which it would never awake. But my heart twinged for him, and what he must have had to suffer sometime in his life, to make him the person he had become. If this was his trap, I had fallen into it, I already knew, and the flames would consume me. But I had to continue, for the sake of my sister, my self, and MacGyver.