A/N:Hi everyone. This is my first fic on this account. I used to be called geranium. It's been a while since I've written anything. Kinda like a vacation.Anywho on with the story.
Disclaimer:I don't own FMA or Bowling for soup. Very sad facts but true. I also don't own Bowling for Soup's song Shut Up and Smile. I do love it though. It reminds me of my grandma.
Farman, Breda, Hawkeye, Havoc and Fury were all sitting in that little room they usually do. Most of them were staring off in to space and the others were just staring at the ones staring into space. What a fun time for military personel.All of a sudden Fury thought it would be a good idea to make the understatement of the century.
"There's nothing to do." he stated. Hawkeye shot him an annoyed glance.
"Aren't you a quick one." she retorted.
"Isn't there anything we can do?" Havoc asked.
"There isn't anything we can do. No murders, no scandals, no missions, no paperwork, no anything. There hasn't even been a report of someone littering. The Colonel hasn't been able to give FullMetal a mission in weeks." she explained. There was a groan from the group.
"Isn't there anything? A kitten in a tree? An old lady trying to cross the street? I'll do anything!" Farman whined. Everyone just stared at him.
"What?" he asked.
"No.Way. Did I just hear Farman whine?" asked Breda. Everyone just nodded their heads silently. Their shock soon passedand the fell back into their prison. The prison we all call boredom. Oh yes, such an evil thing boredom is. All consuming it is. Our favorite military personel were feeling it's all powerful spell.
Suddenly Havoc gasped. His eyes got wide like he'd just seen a 6ft salamander with 8 legs and 3 tails. An evil grin started to spread across his face. This got everyone's attention.
"What's with you?" asked Breda. Havoc's smile just grew wider.
"Edward." he said as if it would explain everything.
"What about him?" asked Hawkeye.
"You'd say he was a no nonsense kinda kid right?" questioned Havoc. Everyone just looked at each other.
"Yeah." replied Farman.
"Not one to do things most kids his age do." he continued.
" I suppose not."
" Especially not something as childish as singing." Havoc told the group. Hawkeye was obviously getting a little annoyed with Havoc's antics.
"Just tell us what you're getting at and stop being such a vague idiot." she replied heatedly.
"I found something to bring us out of this funk!" he exclaimed. Everyone just stared at him.
"Funk?" questioned Farman. He went unheard. They were much more interested in how to get out of this, as Havoc put it, funk. So basically no one cared he used the word funk, as weird as it is.
"What did you come up with?" asked an excited Fury. Once again Havoc dawned a maniacal smile.
"We are gonna get our dear Edward to sing for us." he announced. Everyone's eyes lit up at this idea.
"It's perfect!" exclaimed Fury.
"There's no way we could be bored then!" Breda said. Farman, ever pessemistic, decided to rain on their happy little parade.
"Uh... How are we gonna get him to comply with our demands?" he asked. Everyone was seriously brought down by this thought. After a few minutes of silent thinking it hit them like an intergalactic hunter hits his bounty head.
"The Colonel."
Colonel Mustang was sitting quietly at his desk doing something he rarely does, relaxing. He was silently rejoicing the fact that the country was at peace and that Hawkeye wasn't standing there with a gun forcing him to do paperwork. Oh how he revelled inthese times. Little did he know that these times would soon end, for there was a storm of stupidity heading his way.
As he leaned back he let out a contented sigh. These truely were good days. not even Mayes had called to tell him something his daughter had did. He wished it would never end. To bad, huh?
Suddenly his door flung open and in flew the previously mentioned storm of stupidity. Havoc, Breda, Farman, Fury and Hawkeye were standing over his desk with some of the dumbest, yet creepiest, looks on their faces. He shuddered at the utter weirdness, for he knew there was more to come.
"Colonel!"they all shouted in really excited high pitched voices. Mustang cringed in terror. Hawkeye spoke up for the group.
"Colonel Mustang, Sir!" Hawkeye barked. Mustang sunk back further into his chair. The looks on their faces terrified him to no end.
"Yes." he squeaked.They all moved a bit closer. Most of them had quite the evil smileon their faces. Mustang thought he was gonna die.
"We have a favor to ask of you." Farman announced. Mustang was both curious and scared, which is quite on odd combination. He finally mustered up enough courage to give a reply.
"What kind of favor?" he asked. Hawkeye, self appointed group speaker, leaned a bit closer to him.
"We need you..." she started.
"Yes?" he inquired.
"To get FullMetal to sing for us. We asked you cause we know he'd never do it if we asked him so we thought he'd do it for you so could you please?" Hawkeye pleaded. It took a minute for it to sink into Mustang's head. Once it did Mustang felt sweet, sweet relief. They weren't gonna kill him after all! Then he decided to address his subordinates.
"What makes you think that he'll do it if I ask him?" he questioned.
"You know like all of Edward's secrets and stuff. Can't you like blackmail him or something?"she asked. Mustang leaned back in his chair to contemplate what they had just asked of him. There was no way he was gonna refuse their request.
"Alright. Lt. Hawkeye, call Edward and tell him I wish to speak with him." Mustang commanded. She rushed off to give Ed a call.All of the aforementioned subordinates looked thoroughly pleased and filed out of his office. Mustang leaned forward and rest his arms on his desk.
"How interesting this will be."
About an hour later none other than the FullMetal Alchemist strode into his office and plopped down on the couch. He crossed his legs and turned to look at Mustang.
"Well?" he asked. Mustang rested his head on his hands and just asked...
"Well what?" Now Edward was thoroughly annoyed. He didn't like wasting time.
"You called me here. What do you want?" he questioned. Mustang leaned back in his chair.
"You are to give a concert in which you will sing a song for us." Mustang stated. Edward's jaw dropped for a second before he got really mad.
"Like hell I will!" he roared. He stood up and walked over to Mustang's desk. Mustang just grinned.
"Yes you will FullMetal. Or would you rather the entire military find out about your brother and you. What you did. What do you think would happen?" he inquired. Edward ground his teeth and gripped the desk until his knuckles turned white.
"Bastard" he spat. He was seething with anger to the point that would even make grown men cry in fear. He turned to leave until Mustang stopped him.
"There are conditions. I will pick the song and you are not allowed to use any alchemy to improve your singing voice." he stated. Edward shot him a glare so venomous that most people would drop to their knees and beg for mercy. Not Colonel Mustang, he knew there was nothing FullMetal could do.
"You will sing tomorrow at 6 o' clock." he stood up and handed Edward a CD. He snatched it away and kept glaring.
"There is only one song on that disc. Learn it. That is all. You're excused." Edward turned and walked out, slamming the door behind him. It was reported that anyone who came in contact with Edward in the halls that day was sent into therapy.The physical kind.
(A/N:The parts that the backup singers sing are in parenthesis. That is all.)
As it turns out, tomorrow at 6 o' clock came all to quickly for our short tempered alchemist. He was walking to the place he would perform at and saw there was a huge stage set up. Backstage standing there was Havoc, Fury and Farman.
"What are you guys doing here?" asked Ed. They turned to face him.
"It turns out that the song requires like backup singers or something so Mustang got Mayes to dig up some dirt on us. We're getting blackmailed now too. We have to sing with you." he explained. Ed was severly annoyed.
" I hate Mustang so much." Ed stated. It was time for them to go on. When they walked out they were greeted with the cheers of thousands of people.
"Did the entire military show up?" he asked. Havoc walked over to him and said...
"You are the FullMetal Alchemist kid. This is like a once in a lifetime chance. Besides, there's civilians here too." he pointed out. Sure enought in the first row was Al, Winry, Pinako and Den. Edward exploded.
"What are you doing here?" he screamed.
"We're here to support you Ed!" Winry replied. Edward was once again fuming. He tried to calm down at least a little bit.
"You even brought the dog?" he asked heatedly. Winry just smiled and nodded. He then turned his sights on Al.
"You too?" he questioned. By this time he was shaking with rage.
"I'm sorry brother!" he wimpered. Just then Mustang, Hawkeye, Breda , Armstrong, Ross and Mayes showed up behind them.
"Now, now FullMetal. No need to take it out on him." Mustang retorted. He smirked.
"Don't you think it's time for you to get started?" he asked. Ed turned on his heel and walked over to his microphone. The "back up singers" did the same. Once they reached the mics the crowd grew silent. Hawkeye turned to Mustang.
"What song did you pick?" she asked. Mustang grinned.
"You'll see." he replied. The music started to play and Hawkeye smirked in realization. Ed lifted the mic to his mouth and started to sing.
Its not the end of the world
In fact its not even the end of the summer
But thank god the tv is on
Cuz theres no way we could know
Anything that's goin down
Or how were supposed to be feeling about it
I cant tell you how much I wish we could shut up and smile, yeah
Sail around the world and tell them all to keep singing it
la la la la la la
all we needs a harmony and we'll convince the world to sing
la la la la la la
throw your arms around someone (throw your arms around someone)
maybe spread a little love
I know it sounds a little dumb (or maybe I'm a little drunk)
But all we need is some ice cream and a hug
I'm sure there's no need to tell you that Mustang's jaw dropped open.
"No f$!ing way. FullMetal can SING?" Mustang exclaimed. He dropped down to his knees and screamed...
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he exclaimed. His beautiful plan was ruined. How could this have happened to poor Mustang? It turns out he was interrrupting the performance with his screaming so someone knocked him out.
Take a good look around
Does life really suck
Are we just complaining
I hope that this mic is on (testing 1, 2)
Cuz im on a roll here
I hope this is making some sense
I hope that you'll throw up your hands and sing it
And tell all the haters that they should just shut up and smile, yeah
Everyone was enjoying themselves thoroughly. The girls were swooning over Ed's major hotness. Even like really old ladies. Creepy, huh? Not as creepy as the fact some guys were too.
Sail around the world and tell them all to keep singing it
la la la la la la
all we needs a harmony and we'll convince the world to sing
la la la la la la
throw your arms around someone (throw your arms around someone)
maybe spread a little love
I know it sounds a little dumb (or maybe I'm a little drunk)
But all we need is some ice cream
All we need is love and beer
And old school metal and holiday cheer
TO be happy
(All you need is someone near)
like ben and jerry
(to hold you close and pretend that they care)
can we all just, get along now
we found something that we all have in common now
we can hold hands, do keg stands
water skiing sounds great to me now
Sail around the world and tell them all to keep singing it
la la la la la la
all we needs a harmony and we'll convince the world to sing
la la la la la la
throw your arms around someone (throw your arms around someone)
maybe spread a little love
I know it sounds a little dumb (or maybe we're a little drunk)
But all we need is some ice cream and a hug
As Ed finished the song the crowd could be heard chanting.
" ALL WE NEED IS LOVE AND BEER!" they chanted. It was like a cult, dedicated to Ed. After the music stopped the crowd roared with applause and cheering. Bouquets of flowers were thrown on stage. Some girls even threw their bras. One particularly lacy one landed on Ed's head. Ed threw it and ran off stage. Because of that song everyone got wasted and the entire military took the next day off. Hangovers are a real pain.
By the way this was a one shot. Bye now!