True Love (Forever?)

Disclaimer: Harry Potter (or Kit-Kats, for that matter) doesn't belong to me. The number 42, however, does.

Author's Note: My first post-HBP fic! Hee. It seems like lately all of my writings have been serious, and I needed a break from that. Break as in break me off a piece of that Kit-Kat bar.

Oh, forget it.

Count Reginald swooped Elsadora into his manly, huge, man-like, really big arms.

"Oh, Weg-Weg!" Elsadora exclaimed, her generous bosom rising up and down against her painfully tight corset that gave her a perfect hourglass shape.

Reginald gave a lofty smirk that twisted his chiseled, god-like, generally good-looking face into a grin that would have coaxed any woman into a puddle and replied, "Only for you, baby."

Lavender sighed. Oh, what it would be to have a guy like that!

Of course, as of last night, she had somebody that had the potential to be quite special…

Ron Weasley was going to be Lavender Brown's boyfriend!

Well, he asked her out, anyway.

Er…if by asking somebody out you mean grabbing the front of their robes and start snogging them noisily in front of their two best friends.

Well, it didn't matter anyway how exactly it was executed. The fact was, they were dating.

They started to kiss passionately, their tongues intertwining to form a perfect union. After a while they broke apart, Elsadora still in Reginald's arms. She stroked his handlebar moustache and batted her extremely, almost grotesquely long eyelashes at him.

"Let's get married!" cried Reginald, his glorious blond curls shining in the sunlight.

Their relationship would be glorious; Lavender knew that was for sure. Of course, they hadn't really talked…ever…but that would change, right? Boyfriends had to talk to their girlfriends at some point. It was only logical.

Well, he had spoken to her quite cheekily, that one time fourth year. How naïve she was to have not noticed that, "Can I see Uranus, Lavender?" was a declaration of very deep feelings!

Oh, Ron. It had only been a day, and she already missed him terribly. With the same fierce resolve that put her in Gryffindor, Lavender stormed across the common room to where Harry and a disgruntled-looking Ron were playing chess.

"Hi," she said brightly. Neither of them seemed to have noticed. Lavender cleared her throat. "Hellooooo!"

Harry gave her a bored look while Ron looked at her as if she were a piece of lunchmeat. Not particularly delicious, but mildly interesting. "Hey," he spoke quietly.

Lavender couldn't hide her beam. She then noticed a series of what looked like pecks all over him. Cooing, she took a seat in his lap and started fussing over his wounds, taking time to brush back his hair and give kisses to his "boo-boo's".

"What happened?" she cried dramatically, throwing her arms around his neck and giving him an uncomfortable squeeze. When letting go, she winced—his sharp shoulders collided painfully with her neck. She would be brave though, because he needed her.

"I…erm…" he stuttered for a while, trying to find words. Harry, meanwhile, was trying hard not to laugh. Lavender shot him a dirty look. What an awful friend!, she thought. "I got attacked. Surprised. By, y'know, someone very powerful." By now, Harry had to stuff his knuckles in his mouth.

"By whom?" she whispered, noting that her face was about an inch from his. Score!

"A…erm…Montague. You know that huge, burly Slytherin? Yeah. Him," said Ron, trying to sound nonchalant. Harry, from across the table, was holding his stomach, doubled over in laughter.

"Why don't you," said Lavender acidly to Harry, "go away? Won-Won needs support, not your behavior!"

Harry gave a highly amused grin. "Sorry, Ron. I'll go, Lavender…just take care of Ron, alright?" There was a slightly evil twinkle in his eye that she didn't quite understand, but whatever. She was glad seeing him walk away to talk to Ginny, who suddenly erupted into giggles.

What was with this place?

"Well," Lavender tried to sound saucy, "now we're—OW!" She nearly fell out of Ron's lap, fervently rubbing her forehead. The pain was so great, Lavender imagined seeing canaries fly around her head.

"Oh God, I'm so sorry, Lavender."

"Wha—"

"I thought, er, we were going to get up, and I guess that's when we bumped heads—"

"Ow."

Ron grimaced, helping Lavender to her feet. "I'm sorry, I really am, I—" He suddenly cut off, staring at something in the distance. It didn't matter to her—she saw that kind look in his eyes, he really meant it! Trying to hug him where it wouldn't harm her, she proclaimed the first thing that popped into her head.

"Chivalry isn't dead!"

And she threw her arms around him in a most awkward place, somewhere between his chest and his stomach. His…sternum? She was practically crouched down, and desperately trying to hold onto him.

"Err…Lavender…what are you doing?" Ron asked.

"Listening to your heartbeat," said a muffled voice from around his stomach.

"Right."

"I mean, it's like with each thump, our souls are getting closer…"

"Oh…okay," Ron said, obviously not listening. Quite suddenly, he lifted her to her feet and threw an arm around her shoulders. Lavender was bewildered until she saw the person in front of them. "Hello, Hermione," he said coolly.

"Hi," she replied stiffly. There was an uncomfortable silence as Lavender tried to wriggle her head into the nook of Ron's neck and put her arm around his waist.

"How are you, Hermione?" she asked kindly.

She gave Lavender a condescending look. "Fine, thanks."

Ron stepped away from Lavender, giving Hermione a pleading glance. "Hermione, this is silly, I'm—"

"I—I need to go, I think there's something in my eye." She stalked off, bumping hard against Ron's shoulder. His eyes followed her, and his brow was terribly furrowed. Lavender didn't quite know what to do. She patted Ron's chest, asking, "Are you okay?"

His eyes were still far off. "Fine, thanks," he whispered softly, grabbing her hand. Snapping out of a trance, he stared at her determinedly and planted a firm kiss on her lips.

Lavender had seen many Muggle films to prepare her for moments like these. Pinching one of his cheeks and clutching his arm rather roughly, she cried, "Oh, Ron!" and proceeded to stick her tongue down his throat.

Until he started gagging.

She pulled away, hastily wiping away the enormous amounts of saliva on her face. It wasn't supposed to be this messy, was it? "What's wrong, Ron?" she cooed.

He coughed a few times, thumping his chest. "Oh…erm…I've just…"

Lavender sighed. "You've never truly snogged anybody before, have you?"

Ron turned an alarming shade of pink. "No."

Neither have I, Lavender thought. It might turn Ron away though, and besides, what he didn't know couldn't hurt him. "We'll just…practice, I guess?"

He swallowed a lump in his throat. "Yeah. Practice."

She led him a couch in a more deserted corner of the common room. They sat down, a large space between them. Lavender scooted closer to a terrified-looking Ron. Her knee brushed against his and he flinched slightly. They couldn't quite look at each other, and Lavender had to decide quickly what to do.

Maybe to break both of us from our shells, Lavender thought, I could…play it a bit rough! That's what Elsadora had to do with Reginald…or was it Girvelad…

No matter what romance novel it took place in, that seemed to do the trick.

"Ron, are you ready for me?" she asked huskily.

"I…erm…I guess so."

She practically tackled him, his head knocking hard against the armrest. She straddled him, tickling his stomach.

"Oh, stop that…haha!" He was squirming and twitching violently, and a gleeful Lavender tickled him even more.

"No, really…haha…quit…"

One of his long legs shot out swiftly, kicking a coffee table nearby, crashing it to the floor. Everyone in the room stopped chattering, instead turning around to stare. Ron's ears were redder than his hair at this point, and Lavender would reflect on this later as possibly the most embarrassing moment of her life.

Silence. Lavender gave a pleading look across the room to Parvati. Fix this, and I swear I will make it up to you. Besides, that's what friends do, and it's way too late to back out now!

Ron, meanwhile, was wondering if this was all worth it. There were other ways to make people jealous, to teach them a lesson…

With a very audible sigh, Parvati Patil slowly walked over, and with the help of Seamus Finnegan, set the coffee table upright. "Did you hear about Malfoy and Parkinson?" she asked Romilda Vane across the room loudly. The crowd went back to normal, while Lavender and Ron both made a note to get Parvati a very nice birthday gift.

"Now that we're alone again," she whispered sultrily, "we can take up where we left off…"

Ron sat up suddenly. "No, not the tickling—"

"I, erm, meant the kissing. The practice, I mean."

Ron leaned back. "Oh. Right."

And lo, they commenced snogging once more. Ron thought he might actually be enjoying it, even though Lavender was being rather…aggressive. Is that how somebody should be when snogging?

He decided to take a cue from her and fiercely tangled his hands in her hair.

He's responding!, Lavender thought. Should I encourage him?

"Ron!" she whispered between sloppy kisses. "Oh, Ron! You…you're really great, you know!" She tried to rub his back but they were kissing so frantically that she couldn't quite reach it. Instead, she simply flailed her arms around quite helplessly.

Encouraged by her words, Ron started getting more adventurous and bold, until he heard a horrified shriek from Lavender. She was standing up, one of her hands holding the back of her hand. "You—you—" She pointed a shaky finger at him. Ron looked at his hands.

Inside his grip, there were a few long strands of hair. He dropped them, horror-struck, rising quickly to his feet. He swore loudly, causing a few heads to turn.

"How could I…I'm so sorry, Lavender! I honestly didn't mean to!" His mum would kill him if she knew. Well, she would kill him anyway if she knew he was in a completely shallow relationship, but she would kill him even more if she knew he had harmed a girl. Intentionally or not.

Her chin held high, she was still gripping the back of her head, but it was obvious she was trying to be dignified in a bad soap opera actress kind of way. "I have to study for Divination, dear. I must go." With that, she strode dramatically up the girl's staircase, nearly tripping over the last step. Ron was still standing, unable to process everything. Canaries sounded downright preferable at this point.

"Yeah," he called after her, "that—that sounds good." From the stairs, he could see Lavender roll her eyes, and Ron hoped vainly that his first relationship with a girl hadn't ended this quickly. Besides, he eyed Hermione across the room, and that McLaggan fellow was standing rather close to her, I'm still mad at her. Not that she has anything to do with this.

Without warning, he began to feel quite angry himself, and stormed up the stairs to his dorm. Ginny, who was talking to Neville, stopped the conversation and looked up rather amusedly.

"A match made in heaven, those two."

….to be continued