Chapter 4: "He's So Fine"

I admired Chris Chambers in a strange way, considering I didn't know him at all. The only thing I did know about him was what people said about him and his family, none of which could be considered at all flattering. I suppose that his reputation played a big part in why I ever even noticed him and maybe the fact that he seemed to embody all that was Rock N' Roll. He was pretty tough from what I could tell–I mean you don't get a bad reputation out of thin air–he wasn't a jock, he wore t-shirts...and I know you guys are probably saying to yourselves "What's the big deal about wearing t-shirts? Everyone wears t-shirts!" Well, not when I was fifteen. This whole t-shirt fad came straight from the 70's rockers. Only the real cool guys back then wore t-shirts on a regular basis.

Anyway, so Chris was pretty cool in my eyes. Like I said, he was tough, but he wasn't dirty or mean. I mean, there's a big difference. A person is tough because they have to be tough; a person is mean because they get a thrill out of it or something. From my experience, the tough kids pretty much keep to themselves unless they're confronted in some way, but a mean person is the type to go searching for the quiet kids that they know–or, rather, think–won't do anything to them.

So, the fact that not just anyone, but Chris Chambers, a guy I actually thought was cool, knew who I was–and not just because I was "the weird girl that never talks to anyone"–but...well, I don't know why, but it was nice. Hell, maybe he sort of admired me too. Maybe he'd been–you know–watching me or something, like in the hallways but I just never noticed. Maybe...just possibly...he even liked me. It was unlikely, but I can hope, right? He sat on my left, across from Teddy.

"How are ya, Chris," Vern said brightly.

Chris shrugged. "Okay, I guess. No worse than any other day, right?" He laughed, but it sounded awful strange to me, maybe even a little nervous; then, he threw me a look that I probably wouldn't have even caught if I hadn't been looking straight at him.

"Yeah, right," continued Vern who apparently had not noticed anything out of the ordinary, "Nothing ever happens in this stupid town."

"Seriously," said Teddy, shaking his head, "It's like everyone's got a board on their ass or something."

"People are so uptight here," joined in Gordie with a smirk on his soft features, "I bet some of 'em got that board up their ass."

We all laughed (yes, even me) and agreed in some way.

"Oh, hey, Darla!" exclaimed Vern suddenly with yet another mouthful of food, "I heard you going with that Jake guy. How come you never said anything?"

"Jake who?" Teddy asked, sitting forward with interest, "Surely not Jake Braddock." They were now all staring at me, eagerly waiting for an answer.

Yeah, that was another thing. There was this stupid rumor going around that I had been dating some guy named Jake Braddock, whom I had never seen or talked to or heard of ever in my life. It was driving me nuts, really, because I'm very picky about a lot of things, especially people knowing the truth about me. I mean, they can say what they want, but at least get your facts straight. Besides, I didn't want this Jake guy thinking I liked him. He was probably some square from the outskirts of town near the city anyway–exactly the types of guys that I loathed. I thought I would explode if I heard his name one more time, but I figured that wouldn't exactly be the greatest first impression.

"No way. I don't even know he is."

Vern and Teddy looked at each other, smirks on both of their faces.

"If you don't know who he is, then why is everyone saying you and him are practically going steady?" said Vern as if it was the greatest question in the history of mankind.

"Yeah, that's what I heard." Chris joined in suddenly. I'd momentarily forgotten that he was even sitting beside me. So that's how he knew who I was...well, so much for my hopes.

"Well, it's not true," I stated firmly, hoping they would just drop it.

"Sure," said Teddy sarcastically, "You know who I'd like to go with? Madge Littleton..." And I spent the rest of the lunch period unwillingly listening to him, Gordie, and Vern go on and on about what girl looked the best and what girl didn't look so great and who would grow up to be fat and what not. Sure, I knew guys talked about that type of stuff all the time–it was only natural–but you'd think they would have a little bit of common decency to keep it amongst themselves. Chris and I seemed to be the only silent ones and I wondered why he wasn't joining in on the conversation (not that I wanted to hear him discuss who had the largest chest in school). He was never quiet whenever I saw him with his friends.

The bell rang and I inwardly groaned. Hey, anything's better than class.

"Hey, Darla!"

I turned to see Vern jogging toward me. I waited for him to catch up.

"Walk you to class?" he suggested as I collected my Chemistry and English books out of the bottom of my locker.

"Um..." I pondered. It was strange for a guy to ask me that; that was just always the type of thing that guys would say to girls they liked, or at least that's what I thought. I entertained the thought of Vern being attracted to me, but decided that I was overreacting and that that was what friends asked friends in the real world. "Sure. I don't want to make you late, though."

He shrugged. "I won't be. My class isn't that far away. So how'd you like the guys?"

I thought that to be sort of an odd question, considering what a good portion of our conversation had been about, but said, "They're all cool. Have you guys known each other for a long time?"

"Yeah," he said reminiscently, as if he was remembering when they'd met or something, "Seems like forever, but it's probably only been about five or six years. I guess that's pretty long. We're not as good of friends as we used to be, thought. But I guess stuff like happens all the time, right?"

I stared down at my moving feet below me and suddenly felt extremely depressed, "Yeah. I guess it does."

"So, what about your friends?" he asked, ironically contradicting the way I was feeling, "What are they like...or what were they like?"

I suddenly felt very self-conscious, as this realization that Vern was aware that I didn't have any friends hit me. I'd had friends before, of course, but the only ones I could think of right then were the kind that everyone has in kindergarten, which I figured didn't really count.

"I don't know," I said lamely, "I guess I've never really had any really good friends."

"Oh," he said as we reached my classroom, then his face lit up again and he added, "Well, at least you have some now!"

He then waved goodbye to me and began toward his own classroom. I watched him until he disappeared around the corner and then went inside the room and waited for the second bell to ring.

"Darla?"

I turned around in my seat to face Brianna Reed, a girl who I found particularly annoying. She thought that I was cool–although she always referred to me as "risque"–but she was completely clueless as to what I was like or anything else in the real world. I guess she liked me like someone would be attracted to a "bad boy"; I was a thrill. Well, I didn't exactly like to be looked at as a source of entertainment, but I was still nice to her just because I'd feel guilty if I told her what I really thought of her.

"What?" I said, trying not to sound too snappy.

"Why were you just talking to Vern Tessio?"

The way she said it is the way your mother would talk to you right after she finds out you have a boyfriend (well, not my mother, but you get the point).

"Why do you want to know?"

I'd meant it as in "it's none of your business", but it sounded more like "yes, mom, I do have boyfriend, but I'm still going to act as if I don't."

"Well...it's just that," she took a deep breath and plowed on, "I don't think that a smart girl like you should be hanging around with people like him. He'll bring down before too long."

I stared for a long while. The nerve on some people.

"What do you mean 'people like him'?"

She shrugged, all of sudden trying to act polite because she had realized that I was upset, "Oh, just...people that won't benefit you. I mean, c'mon Darla, we both he's not going anywhere anytime soon."

Well, I thought, smiling for some unfathomable reason, now would be the perfect time to tell her what you've been wanting to say since you met her.

"You know, Brianna, some people–like me for instance–don't just make friends because they need them to progress in life. When it comes to that, I can do it on my own."

She shook her head as if I was a three-year-old who couldn't understand the concept of friendship. "I didn't say to use them, I just meant–"

"No, I understand what you mean perfectly. You mean that people like him will hinder me in the future and that I should be careful."

She nodded, relieved that I apparently wasn't angry.

"Well," I went on, feeling more and more elated as I went on, "Have you ever thought that maybe–just maybe–I might be like him?"

And with that, I turned around and smiled although guilt was slowly tying my stomach in complicated knots. I had the greatest urge to turn around and shout "Just kidding!" and laugh heartily about the whole thing, but I knew that I had told the truth...but what I also knew was that I had just gotten rid of one of the few people that actually liked me.

/\ /\ /\

That afternoon, I lay on my bed in an old t-shirt of my dad's and shorts with my hands behind my head, staring up at the picture of Marlon Brando I had pinned to the ceiling. I was thinking of Chris and how quiet he had been this afternoon at lunch while the other's carried on–just like Brando: cool but reserved. I kept scolding myself for thinking that way about Chris. I'd been through crush after crush and they'd never turned out good and now that I had been able to sustain myself from them for what, to me, felt like ten years, I certainly was not eager to go through yet another. Chris was good looking and there was no denying that, but it was becoming much more than that the longer I thought about it.

I looked over at the alarm clock. Thirty minutes before Vern would be arriving. I quickly put on some white capri pants and a black- and white-striped shirt and had just finished brushing my hair which hung down to my shoulder blades when the doorbell rang and I heard my mom open the door.

I walked out of my room, trying to look natural as I walked into the hallway and Vern, my mom, and an older guy that I had seen around town turned to face me.

"Oh, there she is," my mom said and I noticed that she sounded uncharacteristically overjoyed.

"Hey, Darla," Vern said, walking right past my mom into the house. He turned to the older guy, "Billy, you can pick me up around seven."

Billy looked from me to Vern as if we were wasting his time, nodded, and then walked back to the blue truck that was waiting outside without a word.

My mom closed the door and told us that we could use the living room as long as we didn't get the carpet messy.

We had been working for about half an hour on what we hadn't done the previous week when Vern broke the silence.

"Hey, do you want to go to the movies tomorrow?"

I had been planning to go anyway to see Cape Fear, so having someone there with me who wasn't my mom would just make it all the better.

"Will Chris be there?" I asked, and felt like slapping myself as soon as the words had left my mouth. Could I be any more obvious? However, Vern didn't seem to notice.

"Yeah, I think so. He said he might come if Gordie does...but I think it'll just be me and Teddy, that is if you don't come."

"I'll come." I said, after a while. I just wouldn't say anything to my mom about being there with Teddy and Vern. It was going to be simple.

Well, that's all I've got for now. Thanks for all the reviews; I'm really glad people like it (and actually think I'm funny!).