Disclaimer: Me no own, you no sue. Blah, blah, blah.
Rating: Pg? Pg-13? I dunno.
Chapter Four: Hope and Dreams Come Together
Ran's POV, three days later
Last night was completely sleepless, because I couldn't quiet my stupid mind. And yet… I thought about nothing. Just random clips and pictures of random things; nothing that could be identified.
I now lay on my satin sheets, wearing flannel pajama bottoms, with eyes pried open by invisible clothespins, wishing for sleep even though it's late morning already. I have rarely left the sanctuary of my cold, dark room these last few days… but it brings back memories, for this where Ken…
I slap my head, muttering that I shouldn't think about such things. With a heavy sigh I pull myself off of the bed and walk to the bathroom, straight across from my domain, and slide the door open.
Passing the mirror, my appearance instantly catches my eye. Huge bags lay under each of my emotionless violet eyes, sunken cheekbones from malnutrition, normally pristine strawberry red hair now a dull, pale mess of tangles; the overall disarray of my state of well-being.
I abruptly turn away from the startling picture and start my shower. Hot, this time. I undress myself, throwing my clothes haphazardly into the wicker basket.
Climbing into the shower stall and closing the curtain, I let the scalding water pour over my entire being, water droplets pounding my dirtied body, and wash the sweat from my once beautiful hair. My hair… normally so pampered and clean, now suffering from neglect. The edges are ragged and long, my ear tails flopped randomly across the sides of my shoulders.
My sister used to tell me that when she wanted to find me in a large crowd, all she had to do was look for my strawberry-colored head… she is so like Ken, in so many different ways. But Aya is away at boarding school, so I can't see her. Though I could, in theory, call her… yes! I can call my sister for help!
With newfound hope, I trod confidently to my room wearing only a fluffy white towel. Omi just happens to be walking by, and stares at me with wide eyes, head following my retreating form. I normally wouldn't go around half-naked like that, but…
I quickly dress myself, pulling on the orange sweater that Aya had made me for my 17th birthday (it's really actually quite ugly, but… it has sentimental value) and a pair of plain black jeans.
Walking to the kitchen downstairs I find it deserted. Good. I pick up the phone and dial the number of her dormitory, my heart beating a little quicker than I want it to.
I hear her sweet voice after she picks up. "Moshi moshi."
"Aya? It's Ran. I need some advice."
"Okay! Fire away, niisan!"
I hastily explain the incidents of the past weeks, trusting her to take this seriously.
"Well, I can't tell you to love Ken, and I can't tell you to not love Ken. But I can tell you simply follow whatever your heart is trying to tell you. I know you, Ran; you tend to go by what your brain says instead of just following your heart. Listen to both, for once."
My eyes widen slightly, and after a quick thank you, we say our goodbyes.
I plop down on the dining chair near the phone, and ponder over Aya's words. How am I supposed to follow my heart when I'm not entirely sure I have one? This could take longer to figure out than I originally thought.
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Yohji's POV, same day, toward noon
He's an idiot. He's a fucking idiot. Can Ran not see what he has before him? I also don't understand how Ken could possibly love him, and gender has nothing to do with it. I mean, Ran's a fucking iceberg! An iceberg that no amount of heat could melt!
I know what happened between them. How, you ask? Well, I have my ways. I mean, I was a detective before joining Weiß.
I wish Ran would just see Ken the way that I know his heart is telling him to… they would be good together. Kenken's bright warmth just might be able to melt the ice princess, once and for all.
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Omi's POV, same day, toward midnight
Poor Kenken! How could Ran possibly do that to him? Here I am in the middle of the night, dead tired, and worrying about my friend! If Ran wasn't such a stubborn nugget, I wouldn't have to do this… and they would make such a cute couple! Ken might be able to pull Ran out of his shell, which would do us ALL some good.
I just wish… for everyone's happiness. I am happy with Yohji, he is happy with me… and I just want Ran and Ken to have the same happiness. Forever.
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Ken's POV, unknown time
It's pulling me down! I can't stay upright… the light is disappearing! Don't let it go! I can't! Please, let me stay! But still it pulls me down, deeper and deeper into the pits of insanity.
I try to swim upward, float toward that tiny little shred of hope, reaching up into the light… but it's getting smaller and smaller, farther and farther away. Shall I give up?
It's… gone. I'm done… gone forever. Unless he will save me, I will stay here in the almost blissful silence, and cease to exist. Ran? Ran! Please, you have to save me!
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Ran's POV, at the hospital the next day
The beeping of the heart monitor is speeding up! That's bad, isn't it…?
Omi and Yohji jump up in panic and run out the door to get assistance. But I am glued to the spot, to this stupid tan hospital chair across from the bed… It takes all of my willpower just to pry myself from the spot to go kneel next to Ken's bed…
I grab the hand of the dying boy, ignoring the fact that Omi and Yohji have come back with help. My eyes dart frantically around the room, stopping on the white-clad nurse at Ken's other side.
The steady breathing of the silent form on the bed becomes frantic and irregular, and then stops altogether. The nurse tells me to let go and step away, as she soon starts to shock his chest to stimulate breathing. The stupid 'one… two… three… clear!' of the woman is driving me nuts!
I dimly register the fact that Omi and Yohji are crying, and seem planted to the ground, staring on in a silent depression. A tear slips down my cheek unbidden. Then another, and another. Soon a cascading waterfall of salty droplets runs down my face, unyielding to my inward pleas to stop.
The beeps steady again, though I never actually noticed when they had stopped. I hear my remaining two teammates sigh in relief, but the nurses (when did more get here? I don't know) still look worried.
"His breathing has steadied, and his heart is beating just fine, but he's not out of danger yet. He will need to stay here in the ICU," a red-haired nurse informs us gravely. "I still have no idea what exactly is wrong with him… there's no physical trauma at all, so it's obviously mentally stimulated, which means he could go under again at any time. You should all try talking to him; your friend may react well to familiar voices."
The nurses leave the room, though they told us to call if we need anything else. Omi and Yohji slowly approach the bed and kneel one on either side of me. I know their eyes are set on me, but I still can't stop the tears from flowing.
Crying… something I haven't done since Aya woke up from her coma. This is so much like what happened to her… Why is Ken making me cry when he's just my teammate? Why is his unconscious state troubling me so?
I don't know when I grabbed his hand again, but there it is, tightly squeezed in my own. I gently let go. The three of us remain kneeling next to the pristine white bed for a few more minutes, but soon silently agree that it's time to leave.
I glance at the sleeping form once more, and then step out the door, with tears still flowing.
When we arrive back at the Koneko, I go straight up to my room and 'go to sleep.' But I can't sleep. Too much is going through my mind to want to bother with sleep.
But oh, how I wish I could just let go, forget everything, and reign in the sweet darkness. But… a part of me wants to remember. Wants to hear and know everything that I hear and know. And this feeling inside of me… I don't know exactly what it is, but… I think I like this. It feels warm and kind. Like Ken. Yes, this feeling is like Ken…
That's when I realize what I have to do. I glance quickly at the clock, and see that it's 3:23 AM. It's been seven hours since I got home…
My mind dimly registers the fact that I haven't accomplished anything since the time I arrived except for sorting out my feelings. Well, I guess in my case, that's good work for only seven hours.
I quietly slip out of my room and glide stealthily down the stairs, through the kitchen, and to the back door, and enter the garage. I take no time to ponder over the fact that my Porsche smells of smoke, but I make a note in my head to later ask Yohji.
I rev the engine and speed out onto the dark street, only light coming from the sparse streetlamps and my car's headlights. A turn, a turn, another turn—I don't even hear the honking of the other cars, focused solely on the road in front of me, a road on which I have traveled far too many times.
I swerve into the parking lot of the hospital, followed by a string of curses from other late-night drivers, and hop—yes, hop—out of my silver Porsche. I bring up a map of the hospital in my head, having been here more than I wish I have, and carefully note where Ken's room is located in relation to potential obstacles.
When I have the exact location implanted in my brain, I stalk through the near empty concrete lot over to the right side of the building. Luckily, there's a fire escape on the wall, so I am able to climb up with no difficulty. I read the number of each level, and pick the lock to the third, where I know the room is located.
I slip quietly inside, the white glaring maliciously back at me, even in the night, for the life as an assassin leaves one's eyes rather accustomed to the dark.
I immediately approach the sleeping figure on the bed, and sit in the dull violet chair next to him.
At first, all I can do is stare at my feet, wondering why I took time out of my rare rest break to come to a hospital where my fallen TEAMMATE lies dormant… but then I get up my courage, and prepare my speech.
I turn to face the silent sleeper, and grab his hand gently. "Ken… first of all, I'd like to say I'm sorry. For everything. I didn't know how to take your feelings, didn't know I even could feel strong emotions other than anger… so I turned you away.
"I know it's too late, but, I just thought you should know how much you have changed my views on everything… and that you are my best friend.
"You know, if you were awake, I'd never have the courage to admit anything to you. Yes, ran Fujimiya, human iceberg, is scared of something. In fact, I'm afraid of many things—love, friends, rejection, and fear itself… but most of all, I'm afraid of losing the people I care most about. You, Omi, Yohji, and Aya… if I permanently lost any one of you, my life would cease to exist.
"In our line of business, I know we could die on any mission, and that's why I try not to get close to anyone at all. But, in the process, I forgot why it's important to have friends. I forgot how to be warm, how to emote… how to feel anything at all. Ken, you taught me how to feel again. Your warm, cheery eyes, bright smile, and love of all life taught me that it's better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all. Thank you. I am in your debt because you made me realize how much I care about you. How much I… love you. Ai shiteru, Ken."
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Ken's POV
I'm floating in eternal darkness, never to see light again. If I could see anything, it would be nothingness, on and on for infinity. Distance, time, senses… none of them exist in this place.
Nothingness is all I know. I wonder if anyone else lives in nothingness… or if I'm truly alone. But… I wish it on no one else, for when one as insane as I am is left alone in his or her thoughts, it's hard. Pain is all I know… pain and nothingness.
Yet, something is trying to pull me up. Something grabs my hand… yes, I have a hand! A body! A mind! A soul, even! My senses return to me one by one. The darkness is still there, but I can see something ahead. Could it be…? Yes! Light! The light has returned! It is getting closer and closer as the 'something' pulls me upward until it's almost blinding. Only one more gate to unlock before I am away from the darkness. It opens, along with what I realize must be my eyes.
When consciousness has returned, I hear something… someone's voice. A familiar, soothing sound…
"… how much I… love you. Ai shiteru, Ken."
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Omi's POV, that same instant
"Yohji, be quiet, he's gonna hear us!" I whisper harshly to my significant other. Said person just fidgets in response, causing me to shift position.
Now, your average person might be asking, "how come two uber-hot and obviously gay men are stuck in a closet together but AREN'T making out?" Well, there's a perfectly logical explanation. Yotan and I are tracking Ran to make sure he doesn't screw anything up like he's had the tendency to do lately. Luckily, he was too caught up in his own thoughts to notice someone trailing him to the hospital. So much for ever alert… but for right now, at least, it's a good thing he isn't.
I press my ear closer to the door, and I feel my koibito do the same. My ears are strained as I try to make out the words, and I feel my heart fill with joy when I catch what Ran is saying. He says we're his best friends! I always knew that in my heart, but I never thought I'd get the chance to hear him say it out loud!
He goes on for a few seconds, and then utters the words that should have been said long ago… and a wide grin spreads across my face. I can only hope that Ken will awaken and be able to hear those words for himself.
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Yohji's POV, still the same time
Much as I enjoy being locked in a closet with my little chibi, I really wish that idiot would hurry up already. There are things I'd much rather be doing in here, that involves myself, my little Omi, and some of this slippery soap…
Those two really are perfect for each other, if only Ran wasn't Mr. Stick-shoved-up-his-ass. But, there is still hope, for he seems to be greatly troubled with Ken's current predicament, and came to talk to him instead of either of us. Of course, there's no guarantee he'll even say anything of importance, but why else would he even be at a hospital, which he hates, in the early hours of the morning?
With firm resolve in my mind, I press my ear against the door, imitating Omittchi's position, and listen closely. Being a trained assassin, my hearing is much better than a normal human's would be, so I can pick out most of what Ranikins is saying.
He spews some sappy crap about us being his best friends, which we already knew the case to be. He goes on for a bit, and then finally says the words for which we've all been waiting for so long.
"… how much I… love you. Ai shiteru, Ken."
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Ran's POV, same time… still…
I stare at his face for a moment longer, and then get up to leave. As I'm pulling my hand away, something grasps it tightly. I turn back toward the bed in surprise, and find two brown pools of warmth staring up at me. I blink, just to make sure I'm not seeing things (again), but the cheery chocolate eyes and wide smile are still there.
"Hello, Ran," whispers the voice quietly.
I'm not quite sure what to say, so I decide that actions speak much louder than words. My hand lets go of his, but I wrap it and my other hand under his back and lower the top of my body onto his, leaving my forehead to rest on his, and I gently press my lips onto his. It's just a chaste kiss, a mere taste of what's to come, but it's completely intoxicating.
Ken tenses up for a moment, but I soon feel his arms wrap around my back, too. I remove my head and lay it on top of his chest, breathing in his unique masculine scent. I could've stayed like that forever, had I not heard two voices coming from the closet.
I carefully untangle myself from Ken and leap up, regretting the fact that I'd left my katana behind.
"Show yourself!" I demand at the general direction of the closet door. Some bang and clank noises come from inside, but then the door opens, and out come—Yohji and Omi.
"Yohji! I told you to keep quiet!" the younger of the two chastises.
"No, chibi, it's your fault our cover was blown because you kept twitching!"
For a few seconds I just stand there, watching the two bickering, blinking every now and again, but then I walk slowly and purposefully over to the couple and whack them both upside their heads.
"How long have you been spying on me!"
The two just give me a sheepish look, so I glare at them. Omi is the first to reply. "Uh, Ran, aren't you forgetting something? Or rather, someone?"
A light bulb appears inside my brain, and I turn around to face Ken again. He smiles warmly up at me, and I grace him with a small smile of my own.
"Well, I'm glad to see everything's back to normal. Wouldn't want anyone to be out of character, of course," the brunette jokes softly.
Omi, Yohji and I all rush to hug Ken at the same time, emitting a small gasp from the younger man. I utter three words, words that will change my life forever.
"Welcome home, Ken."
TBC!
Okay, minna-san, all that's left is the epilogue, which won't be very long… I've said it many times before, and I'll say it again; please review! Reviews make the authoress happy, and feed the ever-hungry muse. See ya at the epilogue!