Yin and Yang
Comedy Central's roast of Asuka Langley Soryu, Asuka is a bitch and her school is going to make sure she knows it. (Not a summary.)
Chapter 11: Shin…something
"…I don't know. How does thing work anyway?" Shinji asked. Fate looked puzzled.
"What do you mean?"
"Before you used a computer, how did these things work?"
"Oh…" Fate realized. "You have to realize that we are only as good as you."
"Eh?" Shinji let out questioningly.
"Our technology I mean. So when humans started using computers, we did."
"That makes sense, except that it didn't answer my question."
"I'm getting to that. You see, before we used computers, imagine this gigantic piece of paper."
"How big?"
"Infinity."
"That's…a lot."
"Yeah, so I had my own 'Fate' section of the paper. This was way before we digitized the whole damn thing."
"So…"
"So where I'm trying to get at is everything's connected you know? The paper works by shifting reality around the person. Of course, I write out the Fates and insure that nobody gets immortality or some other crazy thing. I write out the Fates to work in an exact and precise harmony. Not only that but not every one person has one ultimate fate."
"What?"
"You know, there's not just one of you."
"I already know that, after all, aren't I half of somebody?"
"I mean you know, in some other parallel universe."
"Parallel universe?"
"Yeah, take this one universe for example, you and Asuka were the only ones left on Earth."
"Really?"
"How the hell should I know? I couldn't even read my own writing. Besides that, that how your paper works."
"So it's expired now?"
"Again, yes! But even if it does work, there's just one secret to it if you want it to work." Shinji opened his mouth but Fate interrupted. "And no, I won't tell you that secret." Shinji closed up his mouth.
"What does it matter? I don't need this thing to work." Shinji wrote down several words and stopped. He looked up and glanced at his surroundings. "Hey Fate."
"Yeah?"
"Can you change the color of this place?"
"What do you want it to be?"
"Blue."
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Shinji walked along side with Asuka to school. He was silent trying to figure out what the hell happened. Asuka, as usual, was annoyed at Shinji for the strange sudden outburst earlier. She was also puzzled, this is scared little Shinji after all, right? Of course not, but Asuka wouldn't know that.
The other Shinji was back at the apartment trying to figure why'd he trip over nothing. He just waved it off as some accident and continued planning to try and win a bet.
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"That's better," Shinji commentated on the new color. "Now where was I?" He looked back on his sheet. "Shinji goes to school," he read. "Simple enough."
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The cool Shinji was deep in thought when something strange happened. His legs started to move on their own for some odd reason.
"Hey, what the hell?" He had lost all control he had over his legs. They moved into a walking motion outside the apartment. Shinji, like anybody would, held onto the door to stop himself from moving. No luck. He walked into the elevator and went down. After exiting, he started walking into the general direction of…(gasp!) the school! "This can't be happening." Shinji started to pound his legs to try and stop but that hurt. "I guess I'll just go, besides, how long could we have kept the secret anyways?"
Asuka and Shinji had finally reached school and entered the class quietly both deep in thought. The students turned their heads and watched as the couple sat down on their respective seats. Nothing odd, so they just turned their heads back to whatever they were doing whether it be playing an air guitar or reading manga. The classroom door opened again, to possibly reveal the teacher but instead we get…
"Who is it?"
"Is it the teacher?"
"Wait a minute."
"That looks like…"
"But he's over…" Heads turned back and forth between two certain individuals.
"THERE ARE TWO OF THEM!!!" the class cried in unison. Shinji looked up to see what all the hubbub was about, as did Asuka. Imagine their surprise they saw the other Shinji. Asuka went beserk.
"YOU!!!" Asuka quickly got up and grabbed the original Shinji and quickly marched towards the one at the door. Soon, Asuka and both Shinjis were not present in the classroom. The classroom door (SLAM!!!) shut as they left. Startled and excited by this revelation, the entire classroom grouped at the door and opened it to see what was going on. As soon as they poked their heads out, they were met with a glare from Asuka like none other before. They quickly closed it.
Toji and Kensuke still sat at their seats wondering about the events.
"This is an unexpected revelation," Kensuke let out. Toji looked over at his companion wearing an annoyed expression.
"It almost kind of makes sense don't you think?"
"It does explain why Shinji had a total 180 in personality but why would they both want to be the same person?"
"How the hell should I know?"
"Maybe the second Shinji is a clone, just in case the real Shinji dies. He is an eva pilot after all. They might need back-ups."
"Pfft. Yeah, and Rei is actually a clone too," Toji added sarcastically.
"You know, that actually makes a lot of sense. She doesn't have any parents does she?"
"Of course she did, we just don't…know who they are, that's all."
Outside the classroom…
"You moron! What were you thinking?! Do you know what this means?! I mean what the hell are you doing here?!" Asuka screamed at Shinji. The original Shinji leant against the wall looking on the argument.
"I didn't mean to!"
"What is that suppose to mean?!"
"My legs, they were moving on their own!"
"That's the lousiest excuse I've ever heard."
"It's not an excuse, it's the truth. Look, I don't know what the hell happened myself but it just happened.
Inside the classroom, the students had their heads up against the door trying to listen in on the conversation.
"Uh-huh," Asuka replied disbelievingly.
"No, really!"
"Never mind, we have to find a way to explain this to the class."
"What do you suggest we do?" Shinji, the original one, tried to get into the classroom but the door didn't budge. He pushed harder as the students fell backwards.
"I don't know," Asuka said.
"You're supposed to be the smart one!" Shinji poked his head in the class to see the class looking back on him. He let out a nervous chuckle as he scratched his head. He opened his mouth to speak.
"Uh you see, I guess I never told you about my, um, twin brother…"
"Twin brother?!"
"Yeah, you know, my uh, twin brother." An excited murmur could be heard among the class. Questions were flung at him.
"How does he look like?"
"Where was he the whole time?"
"How come we never saw him until now?"
"Does he have a girlfriend?"
"Is he an eva pilot too?"
"What's his name?" Most of the questions though, were drowned out by the excited chatter.
"His name? Well…it's uh, I-I don't know, Shin…uh…jo?"
"Shinjo?" the class replied. He shrugged his shoulders.
"I guess." At that point, Asuka and Shinji, I mean Shinjo walked in.
"Hi Shinjo!" the class greeted.
"Huh?" Both Shinjo and Asuka's face expressed confusion. She turned Shinji and whispered to him.
"Shinjo?"
"It's the best I could come up with on short notice. You can't blame me."
"Whatever." The girls were crowding around Shinjo asking him questions.
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"Heh, looks like both Shinjis decided to show up at the same time. It's about time the people knew that there were two of him," Fate reported as he watched the television screen. Shinji paid no attention as he was absorbed in his writing. "Hey, are you listening to me!" No response. "Hey!" Fate shook its head in disapproval. "I hate it when people do that," it said to itself. It reached out its hand and grabbed the paper. "Gimme that."
"Hey!" Shinji protested. Fate ran its eyes over the paper and laughed. Shinji was puzzled. "What?"
"This story's horrible! Haha! I mean-haha-," Fate broke out in a fit of laughter.
"What? I don't see what's wrong with it." After wiping its shadow tears, Fate tried to recompose itself the best it could.
"It's completely unrealistic," Fate explained.
"Whatever," Shinji let out as he grasped back his piece of paper. He read a sentence from the paper. "Another angel appeared to attack the city of Tokyo-3."
"You see, that's impossible, all the angels were destroyed."
"It's not suppose to be real, it's just a story."
"I guess…but I'm speaking from a Fate point-of-view, you know?"
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"Look ladies, as lovely as you all are, I am quite busy, I'm sure you'll understand," Shinjo said to all the girls crowded around him. Shinji, Asuka, Toji, and Kensuke all watched him with a very irritated expression.
"Who does he think he is?" Toji asked.
"Yeah, he starting to get on my nerves," Kensuke commentated.
"What a stuck-up pompous ass," Asuka said. Shinji turned his head over to her.
"You know, he kind of reminds me of you," he replied.
"What?! I'm nothing like him! And why does it sound like you grew a spine all of a sudden?!"
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Misato was at Nerv sitting in her office nervously gulping down her beer.
"What has this world come to?" she asked herself. That's when Kaji appeared at the doorway. She looked up and saw him. "Oh, its you."
"I heard what you said."
"So?"
"Ever since the angels were destroyed, there isn't much use for Nerv anymore is there?"
"I guess…" Kaji sat in front of Misato.
"Yeah, I never thought I'd be saying this but I wish an angel would attack right now. You don't know how it is to see your co-workers in their birthday suit." Kaji chuckled.
"Everybody has their own way of having fun." (RINGRINGRING!!!) Kaji looked up at the alarm. "What's that?"
"It can't be…"
"What?"
"That's the alarm for an angel attack!"
"It must be a malfunction…"
"Unlikely, I need to go see Ritsuko!" Misato got up and started running down the hallway leaving Kaji behind.
"Huh."
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"During the battle with the angel, Unit 00 gets knocked down against the ground. The angel, with a powerful grip, held the eva down and was about to impale it with its plasma blade but didn't get the chance as Unit 01 heroically grabbed the angel from behind and slammed it into a building," Shinji read.
"Nothing wrong with that, it's just after that whole scene that things don't start to make sense."
"What?" Fate got up and traced the words on the paper with its phantom finger. It glided across the surface until it stopped.
"Here."
"What about it?"
"Look! Rei would never act like this! I mean what the hell is this?!"
"So what? She's just expressing gratitude."
"Whatever, and what the hell's with the ending?"
"What, Rei and Shinji fall in love and live happily ever after."
"That's the problem," Fate read a sentence from the story. "Then Rei realized that she had fallen in love with Shinji."
"So?"
"After one battle with an angel, they fall in love, don't you know that you fought tons of angels together! Why don't you think that you're living happily ever after with her right now?"
"God, it's just a story." Fate let out a sigh.
"At least its funny, even though it's not intentional, I can't imagine anyone in here acting like this. I mean, look at this one sentence. 'Gendo became the loving father he once was.' He never was a loving father you moron!"
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Rei was in her apartment room dressed in her school uniform. She had some time to think about some things like the dual Shinjis. Somewhere in her odd line of thought, feelings toward Shinji arose to surface and her outlook on life has considerably changed. She looked up at the clock that was hanging on the wall.
"I need to get to school before I'm late." Strange, since Rei was never late for anything. She stood up but that's when her cell phone rang.
"Hello?" she answered.
"Rei? I need you to get to Nerv, now!" Misato's voice called.
"Understood."
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The bridge bunnies, after getting their pants back on again, immediately reported to their stations.
"Unbelievable, it's an angel attack!" Makoto yelled out. Gendo sat behind his desk in his infamous position.
'An angel attack? This can't be happening, all of the angels were destroyed. I wonder…is Shinji okay?'
I know, long update but my hard drive crashed! Can you really blame me? Not as good as the past chapters, but I promise they'll get better!